To: Kim Inseok

I just wanted to let you know that you’re someone I don’t regret growing up with. No matter what people say, you’re the only one that I will put in effort to take care of. I love you, you know that right?

From: The best brother you could wish for.

-

“What’s that?” You asked as you peeked over your boyfriend’s shoulder.

The man shrugged and scratched his head as he went to stare at s.

“Yah! Did anyone of you wrote this?” Himchan shouted but the response was negative. “That’s really weird…”

“Oppa! What’s that?!” You raised your voice, annoyed that he had blatantly ignored you.

“Wait just a minute, Seuk Hye ah.” He ignored you once again as he rushed to Daehyun. “Is it you? Did you write this?”

“What’s that?” Daehyun was busy pouring his cereal. “A letter? Nah. Not me.”

“Where did you find it anyway?” A grumpy Yongguk placed his head on the table and you could tell that he was having a headache at all the shouting in the early morning.

“It was in my childhood box.”

“Childhood box? What’s that?” Zelo asked curiously.

“It’s a box that contains all my childhood memories. It’s really precious because my mum didn’t kept many things from when I was young, so I’d like to know who had been going through the box without my permission!”

“Maybe the letter’s from your childhood.” You suggested but Himchan waved his hand dismissively.

“I would remember it if it was, but it’s not and besides, my name is not Inseok.”

“The letter looks old though.” Youngjae squinted his eyes. “I think it belongs to someone but I really don’t know how it got there.”

“That leaves us with only….” Himchan scanned the dorm before coming upon a figure. “Jongup! You wrote this, didn’t you?!”

“Go away, hyung. I have better things to do than to write letters.”

“Like games?” Youngjae snickered.

“You know you like it.” The young man defended himself. “Anyway, the letter probably belongs to you or your family. The surname is Kim after all.”

“There are so many Kims in this world!” Himchan got frustrated and slump himself on the sofa. “It irks me that I don’t know whom this letter is for. The words… are so kind. I bet the person would be happy to receive this letter.”

“Oppa?” You neared yourself to the man. “Why don’t you ask your mum? I bet she knows something. I mean, the letter didn’t magically appear in your box, right?”

“Seuk Hye ah!” He planted a kiss on your forehead. “That’s the smartest thing I’ve heard all day. I’ll give her a text right now.”

As Himchan paid attention to his phone, you got hungry so you decided to take a seat next to Daehyun to eat some cereal. Looking at an impatient Himchan, you couldn’t help but giggle as you remembered the first time that the two of you had met.

You and Youngjae had been best friends and Himchan had come into the picture one fine day. It was as simple as that, except for the fact that Youngjae had been regretting his decision to set both of you up, seeing how annoying had become and how contagious his annoyance had been to you.

“Someone’s daydreaming…” You heard Daehyun laughing and you snapped back to reality.

“No I’m not.” You stuck your tongue out but were dejected when you saw Yongguk chuckling at you as well.

“Thinking about someone, Seuk Hye?” He teased and you rolled your eyes.

Someone turned into a joyful mood… Tch.

“Hello? Mum?” Your attention turned to Himchan as he took his phone call. “I… I’m fine. I really am. Why are you so worried?”

“Momma’s boy.” Daehyun mummed to Yongguk but was hit in his head instead.

“About this Inseok…” Himchan trailed on.

You caught how his eyes widened with confusion before turning a little sad. The man bit his lips and nodded his head in understanding but his expression was something you wished you will never have to see in your whole, entire life.

It was serious yet he looked so scared.

Feeling that something was amiss, you went up to the poor boy and placed your hands on his back, massaging his tense shoulders.

“I… I see. Okay then.” Himchan ended the call quickly.

“What happened?” You asked nicely but the man only shook his head fervently.

“N-Nothing.”

“Come on. You can tell us anything. I’m your girlfriend and they’re your members. I think we deserve to know.”

“That was mum.” Himchan uttered softly. “S-She… told me who this Inseok was.”

Upon hearing his words, the members scurried over, wondering why the man was stuttering as he spoke of the person.

“He’s… He’s my brother.”

“Y-You have a brother?” Yongguk was unsure on how to piece his words. “Since when?”

“Since forever.” Your boyfriend suddenly smiled as he pinched your cheeks. “But it’s okay.”

“What do you mean, it’s okay?” Zelo turned mature. “Hyung… You just told us that you have a brother that you have never met. How can you find that okay?”

“H-He’s dead okay.”

Himchan went to hug you and buried his face in your shoulders. It didn’t take long for you to notice that the man was obviously depressed and sad by the news.

“Hey… You’ll be okay.” You his hair and mummed for the others to give him space.

“B-But why did mum…” He trailed on yet again. “Is that why she didn’t… Why didn’t she tell me?

“She probably has her reasons, oppa. Come on. Don’t let yourself get affected by this.”

You brought the man to sit but he suddenly looked up and you could see the twinkle in his eyes.

“W-What?” You asked, your voice soft as a whisper.

“Everything makes sense now.”

“What makes sense, hyung?” Zelo returned, obviously worried for his older member.

“I… got into an accident when I was younger. Maybe… maybe that’s why I couldn’t remember him and mum… mum might have been protecting me from the memories.”

The other boys then came strolling in and you knew that they didn’t give him space like you asked them to do. In fact, they were just peeking through and listening to every word in the conversation.

“That means the letter was written by you.” Youngjae came to a conclusion.

“I… I wrote the letter.” Himchan stated but it came off as a question instead. “I wrote the letter to my brother.”

“And you really loved him, hyung.” Jongup tried to cheer the man up. “You even self-proclaimed that you were the best brother in the world. That’s you, all right.”

The members patted him on his back and each left to do their own things, leaving you alone with your boyfriend. Although he tried to put on a front that he was okay, you could sense that something was slightly amiss again.

Slightly might have been an underestimation. The man was lost in his own thoughts for quite some time now.

“Oppa?” You shook him out of his daydream. “Something’s bothering you and I want to know what it is.”

The man looked up and you saw how distant his eyes were.

“Seuk Hye ah.” He started off slowly. “What if I told you that the letter wasn’t written by me?”

“Who wrote it then?”

“I don’t know.” Himchan sighed as he handed you the letter. “Look, it’s cursive. You know I can’t write cursive.”

“Maybe your brother wrote this, pretending to be you.” You suggested and you saw how he lightened up before sighing quickly.

“I… I don’t feel good about not knowing who my brother was.”

“You should ask your mum then, oppa.” You patted him on his legs. “I’m sure she’d tell you something.”

“She won’t but I know who will.” Himchan suddenly got excited and dragged you by your hands. “Let’s go Seuk Hye!”

--

“Oppa! Where are we?!” You grumbled as you stood in front of a house near far end of Seoul.

“He’s my childhood friend. It's been quite some time since I've seen him.”

The door opened and out came a young man around Himchan’s age. He widened his eyes before turning into a small smile.

You decided almost immediately that you didn’t like him as you sensed he had to force the smile out of his lips.

“H-Himchan.” The man welcomed the both of you in but you declined.

I don’t trust this man.

“Seuk Hye. Let’s go in, okay?” Your boyfriend pleaded but you shook your head again.

“You can go in if you like.” Your eyes pierced through the guy and you saw how quickly he avoided your gaze.

Himchan sighed before muttering an apology to his friend.

“Sorry, Minhyuk. She’s always like this. If you don’t mind, can we just talk like this?”

“S-Sure. What’s up?”

“Ergh… I’m sorry for asking and barging so suddenly, but did you… did you know that I had a brother?” The man gulped at Himchan’s question.

“H-How-”

“My mum told me.” Your boyfriend scratched his head in embarrassment. “But she wouldn’t go into details.”

“Erm.”

“Look here, Minhyuk.” You uttered out impatiently. “Something tells me you’re not exactly happy at Himchan being here so spill before I spill your teeth.”

“Seuk Hye!” Himchan scolded you immediately. “Don’t be so rude!”

“S-She’s right.” The man called Minhyuk stuttered. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I should tell you anything about your brother.”

“Why?” Both you and Himchan asked at the same time.

“It’s… it’s not pleasant, so please leave.”

Minhyuk tried to slam the door closed but you were fast enough to block it. You muttered an apology to the young man for being rude as you knew how badly Himchan wanted to know about his family history.

“Please tell us.” You begged, all your pride in. “Himchan needs to know. He has a right to.”

“A-Are you s-sure?” Minhyuk looked to your boyfriend for a confirmation and he nodded his head excitedly.

“Your brother… specifically your twin brother… is dead right?”

“S-So he’s my twin?”

Minhyuk nodded his head and he took in a deep breath to tell the story.

“He… got into an accident, a few hours before you did. Let’s just say that the both of you weren’t exactly in good terms with one another.”

“You… I mean he… I mean.” The man sighed yet again before turning to you. “Himchan brought Inseok to a bridge one day to reconcile their differences but Inseok was being a brat.”

You turned to your boyfriend who shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. Of course he didn’t know, he lost his memories.

“Things got bad so Inseok pushed Himchan down the bridge.”

“So that’s how I got into an accident.” Himchan nodded his head in understanding. “But how did Inseok died?”

“As he was walking around, a car hit him at a nearby road and he was rushed to the hospital.”

“But he died.” Your boyfriend whispered, his heart getting heavier.

“Not really.” Minhyuk bit his lips in nervousness. “H-Here’s the twist. Inseok didn’t die.”

“Okay…” You waited for his explanation. “Then how exactly he died?”

“H-He didn’t. T-that’s the thing.”

“But Himchan’s mum said he did. Come on now.” You were losing your patience.

“T-That’s because she doesn’t know that Himchan was the one who died.”

Silence dawned for a moment as you took in his words. Himchan? Died? But your boyfriend was alive, wasn’t he?

“I…” Himchan trailed on before covering his face in shame. “I… I’m not Himchan, aren’t I?”

“Y-You’re Inseok. You pushed H-Himchan down the b-bridge.” Minhyuk stammered.

“B-But how…”

“You have never liked Himchan. He was always the better son.” The young man ranted. “You were always so jealous of him but you failed to see that he was just trying to be a good brother to you. You… You even threatened to kill him once.”

“And you did.” Minhyuk continued. “You pushed him to his death at the bridge. I was honestly so angry at you that time but then you got into an accident. You lost your memories and somehow, you became more like your brother. You were kinder and you suddenly developed an interest towards singing, something you had always disliked.”

“I….” The man grabbed your boyfriend’s hands. “I couldn’t bear to tell you. You looked so happy and… And peaceful. And nice. So I hid this from you. Y-Your mum must have recently known that you aren’t the real Himchan. S-She would never tell you of your brother if she didn’t find out by then.”

“So that’s why she’s been somewhat avoiding me.” Himchan nodded his head before hugging his friend. “I’m so sorry… If I knew…”

“H-Hey, it’s okay.” Minhyuk was a little awkward in hugging but he didn’t let go. “It’s all in the past.”

You smiled at the scene, knowing that Minhyuk had forgiven Himchan a long time ago. The only reason why he might have been uncomfortable in meeting the man was because he knew of who Himchan really was. You felt a little guilty that you judged him before you even knew him.

But that would mean that Himchan murdered his own brother…

Realising what had passed through your mind, you pushed the thought out of your sight.

But he’s better now, of course. We just have to keep it a secret.

“To be honest, I actually found out about this a few days ago.” Himchan whispered into Minhyuk’s ear but you heard what he said.

“T-Then why did you… ask?” Minhyuk’s voice was soft and he tried to free himself from the hug.

It seemed as though your boyfriend had exerted more power on the man than you thought he would and you could see Minhyuk pushing his way through in panic.

“O-Oppa?” You called out to Himchan. “Y-You’re… h-hurting him.”

When he didn’t let go, you knew that something wasn’t right and so you proceeded to pull Himchan away from the young man. It proved futile when there was no progress and you can’t help but shout.

“Oppa! Let him go! You’re squeezing him too tightly!”

“M-Miss.” Minhyuk stammered. “Y-You s-should run.”

“Run?! Why?! Oppa! Let him go!”

Before it hit you, you saw blood splattering on the floor of his apartment. You didn’t even realised that Himchan had brought the man in so subtly and you looked on in horror as that man called Minhyuk dropped to the floor, warm yet dead.

“Sorry Minhyuk.” Himchan wiped the knife that he had stabbed the man with from the back. “Some people never change, you know?”

“O-Oppa?” You stammered and the man turned his attention towards you.

He brought his finger to his lips and winked but as he walked towards you, you backed away.

“Ssh. This is our little secret, all right, Seuk Hye?” Your back hit against the wall and there was no way you could run from him.

He your hair and gave you a kiss on your head before muttering softly.

“I don’t know what happened but I feel so good to be back.” He chuckled and caressed your cheeks. “I’m feeling really angry that no one told me anything. Next up would be precious little mummy.”

You shivered at his words and shut your eyes firmly, hoping that this was all just a bad dream.

“You’ll go with me, won’t you, Seuk Hye?” Himchan leered but you shook your head fervently.

H-He’s not Himchan… H-Help me… Someone?!

“Of course you would.”

“N-No. P-Please don’t do this. You’re an i-idol. Please d-don’t o-opp-”

He silenced your words with a forceful kiss and you felt nauseous at the thought that you’re kissing your boyfriend who had murdered someone right before this.

“H-Himchan?” You heard a voice outside and you quickly opened your eyes to see who it was.

In a moment of confusion, Himchan had let you go and you quickly took your chance outside, to whoever it may be.

Seeing that it was the other members, you cried in relief as you went to embrace Youngjae who stood firmly behind Yongguk.

“Himchan?” Yongguk’s voice was serious. “Why is there a body on the floor?”

“H-He killed the man.” You whispered to Youngjae who hugged you tightly. “H-He’s not H-Himchan.”

“Ssh. We know.” Youngjae comforted you before passing you to Jongup and Zelo. “Go… Go run to the police now.”

“We’ll take care of you, noona.” Zelo whispered as he held your hands hurriedly. “Let the hyungs take care of this first.”

“Oh!” Himchan suddenly cackled with laughter. “You guys know that I’m not Himchan? Since when?!”

“Since just now when we called your mum.” Yongguk declared and you noticed how he was already a few steps back than he was just now.

“Come on Inseok. Don’t risk your life as an idol.”

“Noona? We have to go now. Hurry.” Jongup whispered urgently to you.

“Yah!” Daehyun murmured furiously. “Why are you guys still here? Go already! Do you want us to die?!”

“Youngjae?” You turned to look at your best friend. “H-He has a knife. Be careful, all right?”

“I know, Seuk Hye.” He sighed as he pushed for you to run with the younger ones. “Now go.”

“Promise me that you will all be all right?” You shouted as you ran with Zelo and Jongup.

“Promise! Hurry!” He screamed back and your eyes quickly glanced at Himchan.

There he was, smirking at you as you ran away. You saw him mumming something and you stopped for a moment as you tried to decipher the words he said.

I… l-love… you. I love you.

Seeing you freeze, Jongup had no choice but to carry you on his back and he tried to catch up with Zelo who was already running far.

Himchan then turned to the 3 boys who were standing closely together and their eyes didn’t once left his figure.

“Now then…” Himchan enunciated his words clearly. “Shall we start?”

--

A/N Okay, I don't know why Himchan's oneshot was longer -.- I got too carried away writing this, I guess. Hope you guys liked weirdo Himchan and let me know your feelings on this chapter! Much love! ♥