Ugh.

Stupid agencies.

So apparently, we all have to go out to dinner with U-KISS and INFINITE, in order for us to "bond" and "get to know each other", so we can do this special collaboration stage for the half-year special. 

Well, JYP can stuff his stupid creepy whisper up his stupid creepy . I'm still pissed off because he put me in a ballad group, when I was obviously born to dance. But NO, "2PM is a manly group" he said. What are you implying, dickwad?

Anyways, that's approximately three hours of Kevin being a little in front of Kiseop and Eli.

Approximately three hours of witnessing Sungjong's desperate attempts at catching Myungsoo's attention.

And approximately three hours of Changmin, Seulong, and that little asshat Jinwoon embarassing me in front of Soohyun. On purpose. Well, not that I like Soohyun or anything...

The worst part of it is that I've got half an hour before we go, and I still haven't worked out what I'm going to wear.

Once I pull out my entire wardobe (12m², if you were wondering), and throw it back in again a few times, I finally decide on my favourite ankle-length tan chinos, a pale pink checkered shirt, a navy blue blazer and an electric blue bow tie. I add a pair of round glasses for effect. My vision is perfect, just like everything else about me. 

Once my hair has been curled, I go and meet the rest of the members. It hurts me to know that they'll never be as fashion-forward as I. No really, it does. 

*

I told them not to leave for another fifteen minutes, but NO, don't listen to me. We're now at the restaurant, but too early. Fifteen minutes of waiting. Great.

Oh, wait, what's this? Half the members of U-KISS are here too? 

Ew.

"Hi, Dongho, Hoon and AJ!" I say, flashing a brilliant smile. AJ and Hoon give me half-smiles back, but Dongho's too occupied with his phone to notice the real world. 

When he does look up, he glares at me.

Ooh, touchy.

"You realise the other members are coming later because Kiseop and Eli have been fighting all day over Kevin, and Soohyun's trying to break it up?" spits the five-year-old ninteen-year-old.

"Aww!" cooes Changmin in mock disappointment. "No Soohyunnie for poor little Kwonnie?"

I step on his shoe really hard, bringing what he'd like to think were manly (but are actually quite feminine, if you ask me or anyone else in the world) tears to his eyes. 

Another SUV van pulls up, this one containing the seven member chinldish, cheesy eighties-pop monstrosity boyband INFINITE. Oh joy.

The first to step out are the rappers, Whorewon and Dinosaurwoo. Oh, sorry, I mean Howon and Dongwoo. Then there's that weird hamster one whose name I always forget, the pretty one - Sungyeol or something - and the other one who is probably sleeping with hamster-guy. 

Oh, then there's Myungsoo with his human extension clinging to him like a baby koala, except less cute.

"Myungsoo, look at this!" squeals Sungjong, showing him something on his phone. Myungsoo looks at it, but seems to be preoccupied. 

"Well!" says Hoon, after awkward greetings with everyone. "Shall we go inside? The others will be here later."

So we go inside.

Oh no. Ohnoohnoohnoohnohno...

Sitting on the large table we'd had reserved is none other than chief , Jinyoung Park. 

He jumps on the table, landing in a stupid ninja pose, his arms wide and fingers splayed. He looks at us and whispers: JYP

We all cringe. Not just 2AM, but all of us. 

He jumps off the table and does that annoying "friendly boss and co-worker" handshake to the other bands.

He then turns to us, and gives us a creepy knowing grin. 

"Now guys, secret JYP handshake, just like we practised!"

JYP tries to be one of those bosses who are cool and hip, and friendly with their property employees. Until you piss him off. There's always someone within  a 100-metre radius with your contract, and a lit match hovering dangerously close. 

After we've slapped eachother's thighs, done a double fist-bump, magic twirl, spelled out "JYP" with our arms and done a handstand, we continue to business.

"My!" he exclaims with sickening enthusiasm in Dongho's direction. "What happened to the rest of your members?"

"You don't want to know," replies Dongho dryly. "But they'll be here soon."

As if on cue, the remaining U-KISS members burst through the door. Kevin's face is wet with tears, Kiseop and Eli keep glaring at each other and Soohyun looks worn out. 

"So," says JYP. "Shall we sit?"

*

As it turns out, JYP had allocated us seats. No two members of the same band were next to each other, as a desperate attempt to get us "bonding". JYP had seated himself at the head of the table, as if to watch over us like a tyrannical dictator.

Unfortunately, I was placed between Whorewon and Dinosaurwoo. 

Whorewon is being ridiculously -like all over his prehistoric crush, but in order for him to do this, he has to cross me. So right now, I'm getting soaked in his ual frustration and desperation, and I don't like it. 

Since I have nothing better to do, I look around and eavesdrop on the other victims.

"Look, AJ! I made fortune cookies! Would you like to try one?" says Sungyeol, pulling out a plastic tupperware container from his bag. 

AJ takes a bite, and screws his face up a bit - but not for long, as Sungyeol's hopeful eyes are on him.

"Hmm.. they're... great... do I taste apple?"

"I made the recipe myself! What does the message say?"

AJ unrolled the little piece of paper. 

Yay! Kitties! ^.^

"Um, is this a fortune?" asked AJ.

"No. I couldn't think of anything, so I just put in my current thoughts."

"Oh. Okay."

Boring! I think. Surely there's something more juicy going on. I turn to my left, where JYP is lecturing poor, innocent and uninterested Dongho, and dropping obvious hints for Dongho to join JYP. JYP's star pupil, Changmin, was nodding along.

Nope, not there either. Accross from me is where all the drama is going down. 

Woohyun and Sunggyu are staring at each other, but trying not to catch each other's eye. 

Kiseop and Eli are trying not to look at each other, but Jinwoon's making that extremely hard, asking them annoying questions to purposely fire them up.

Sungjong won't stop harassing Myungsoo, and Hoon, who is between them, is leaning so far back he almost falls back. 

I glance over at Soohyun, who is opposite me. He's glaring in the diagonal direction of Kevin, who's looking down. Looks like someone got a scolding.

Soohyun catches my eye, and I just look away. I don't want people getting the wrong idea about me and him.

Hoon gets up from his seat, and is about to turn away when someone clears their throat loudly and obviously.

"And where do you think you're going?" says JYP with scary calmness.

"Uh, I need to make a phone call-"

"No you don't. The nachos are almost here!" 

"But it's importa-"

"No it isn't." JYP says forcefully.

Hoon obeys, and sits back down, lowering his head.

*

One hour and five bottles of soju later, things have seemed to have gotten more lively. Even Woohyun and Sunggyu are making y eyes at each other, whilst eating the nachos in a seductive manner. 

Then, JYP jumps on the table (again), crushing the remaining nachos and guacamole. 

"TO THE KARAOKE BAR!" he screams, raising his fist like superman.

He jumps off the table, and runs accross the road to the karaoke bar, his fist still raised. Even though he doesn't look for passing traffic, no-one runs him over. Damn. 

We follow him, and I get a glimpse of Dongho's phone. The time is 10:30PM. 

"Get us your largest, most expensive room and all of your alcohol! And a basket of fruit! And SALT!" slurs my boss at the reception. 

Wait - fruit? Salt? 

Uh-oh.

I know where this is going.

Once we're in the room with our ridiculous requirements, someone yells out "BODY SHOTS!", and all havoc breaks loose.

I seem to be the one who's consumed the least amount of alcohol. If I were to kill myself now, would I still have to deal with JYP's ?

So, we've got JYP singing his own songs very loudly at the karaoke station. Nobody joins him.

We've got Whorewon and Dinosaurwoo rubbing salt all over each other, as a kind of extreme take on body shots. 

Kevin's flaunting his legs, because he doesn't have s (but I'm sure if he did, he would), and is making Kiseop and Eli angry.

Woohyun and Sunggyu can't grasp the idea of body shots, and just start making out. 

Sungyeol's forcing his fortune cookies on everyone.

Jinwoon's annoying Dongho because that's the kind of person he is.

Sungjong's trying to get "Myungie" to do body shots, but Myungsoo claims he just wants to do karaoke.

The rest of us are just waiting for our turn, when suddenly JYP rips his shirt off.

I think it was Changmin who vomits.

"Hey!" says someone, tapping me on the shoulder. It's Soohyun. "Do you wanna have a go?"

"What? No! I don't like having people salt off m-" I shriek.

"No, at karaoke. Do you wanna do a song together?"

"Oh, in that case, sure. But I get to choose the song."

*

~Ten minutes and nine shots of soju later~

"I got YOOOOOOOUUUUU UNDER MY SKIN!" I scream, nearly stumbling over.

After Soohyun and I nail the rap part, the high note approaches.

And we nail that too.

"KYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!" 

I take another shot in celebration.

The song is almost over, and we're a bit dizzy.

Then, something crazy happens.

Soohyun leans over, and oh my gosh! 

The kiss is sloppy, and tastes strongly of alcohol. I kiss back, but deeper.

I pull back, and take a very long swig from the soju bottle. 

Another messy kiss and another swig. Things are becoming blurry and soft.

He slides his hand up my shirt and we make out some more.

Everything is vague.

I rest my head on his chest. 

Then everything goes black.

********************

This is what happens when you leave me and Emily alone for the day.

I swear, we had too much fun writing this. We don't mean to offend anyone, we're diehard INSPIRITS and KISSMES.

cRACK CRACK CRaCK ASDGFGHJKFDSKLS

We also did the seating plan on paint (WITH COMIC SANS, COME AT US), so here.

AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT BODY SHOTS ARE, HAVE A LOOK HERE

Sorry for the late update.

Don't forget to subscribe and comment!

~Mando

To be honest, I didn't type anything for this chapter,

instead I just shouted suggestions at Thiamando whilst rolling on the ground like an idiot

Please enjoy~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

~Emily