Changhyun sighed deeply as he finished combing his hair and gave himself a once over in the bathroom mirror. He didn’t look nowhere near as good as one should for a night out, but there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

No matter how hard he wished he always saw the same reflection. The boring, pale, acne laced reflection that he hated and wanted to disappear.

“Come on already!” He heard an angry shout from the living room. He quickly left and joined the voice belonging to an impatient Jongdae who was waiting for him.

The man made a disgusted face when he saw his younger boyfriend (making him feel more self-conscience than he already did), “Is that what you’re wearing?” He asked the boy who was dressed in a regular black button-down shirt, jeans, and a plain black jacket.

“Um yeah. Why?” He asked him. Wondering why in the world the other man would complain knowing the boy has no funds for new clothes and knowing he never gives him any for it as well.

Jongdae rolled his eyes at him, “Nevermind, just come on.” He turned and walked out the front door. Changhyun quickly ran to make it outside so he didn’t have to wait to lock it and have yet another reason to yell at him. He was already in a bad enough mood that he had to bring him out with him. But Changhyun didn’t mind. He was tired of always being stuck at home and it was nice to finally get out. Even though he knew full well he’d never be allowed to really enjoy himself.

The reason for him even going in Jongdae’s words is that he made the mistake of mentioning his boyfriend (which hurt Changhyun’s feelings) and somebody mentioned that he should bring him along.

While in route to their destination Jongdae made sure to let the boy know what the rules were for that night, “Just don’t make too much eye contact with anyone, and don’t say a word unless somebody asks you a question that can’t be answered with a nod. Do you understand?”

“Okay.” Changhyun replied flatly.

What the hell does he think I’ll say that’s so bad it would embarrass him? What is it about me that’s so terrible he doesn’t want me talking to his friends anyways? He wasn’t surprised though. In all the time they’d been together he had never once met any of Jongdae’s friends. He wasn’t too sure he wanted to know the reason behind that.

They arrived in a crowded parking lot of a popular downtown night club. The big neon sign on the front flashed the club’s name; “Neon”. Changhyun inwardly scoffed at the absurdity of the name knowing Jongdae had a distaste for his sense of humor.

Once parked, they got out and he followed Jongdae inside. He was already cringing from seeing so many cars; being in big crowds made him nervous and he badly wanted to cling to his boyfriend as they made their way through the sea of bodies. But he didn’t, he knew an action like that would annoy the man and might also give him a reason to get yelled at.

They ended up at a table near the back where Jongdae’s friends were already seated and waiting for them. They seemed like nice enough people and they greeted him warmly which really made him wonder why they were friends with someone like his boyfriend.

Jongdae’s friends did say a word or two to him but Jongdae made sure to intervene before the exchange could turn into an actual conversation. So Changhyun just sat there in silence listening to everyone else while trying his best to seem engaged while knowing he was forbidden to join in.

After some time Changhyun found himself alone at the table after everyone else had either gone to the bar for more drinks or to go dance. He sat and sadly stared at the condensation dripping down his glass of water wishing he had again gotten left at home. Then at least he could sneak out and see a certain stock boy who never failed to make him forget just how ty his life was.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when two of Jongdae’s friends returned with drinks in their hands, laughing and breathing heavily from the workout they got on the dance floor.

“You’re not much of a partier are you?” A pretty girl named Sunny asked him as she tucked her long dark hair behind her ear and took a sip of her drink.

“Um,” Changhyun looked around and Jongdae was nowhere in sight, “no not really. I’m actually not feeling too good tonight.”

“Aww I’m sorry!” She said reaching out to sympathetically pat his hand.

“Well if you’re sick you should’ve stayed home then! Jongdae shouldn’t have made you come out if you weren’t feeling up to it!” A rather tall man with short dark hair named Chanyeol said then adding, “.” Before taking long drink from his beer bottle

Sunny turned to look at him, “Are you really surprised though?” Chanyeol shook his head at her and then turned his attention back to Changhyun.

“So, it’s Changhyun right? What do you do?” Changhyun glanced around nervously looking for Jongdae; this was not a good situation he was in.

“Do you have a job or go to school?” Sunny chimed in with a pretty smile on her face.                

“Well…….I……I’m in school right now. I……um, don’t have a job.” Changhyun wasn’t used to people asking him about himself and he certainly didn’t expect Jongdae’s friends to do such. In fact, he didn’t expect them to be as nice as they were. This again, made him question why on Earth they ever chose to be around him.

“That’s cool! What are you going for?” Chanyeol asked him, leaning closer to hear over the loud music and people talking.

“I’m majoring in writing.” He replied.

“Oh wow that’s really neat Changhyun!!!” Sunny remarked, “What kind of stuff do you write? Like, fiction stuff or newsy type stuff?”

“Newsy?” Chanyeol asked her with a smirk on his face.

“Shut up!” She said hitting his arm.

Changhyun couldn’t help but chuckle at the two of them, “I like writing a little of everything to be honest. I kinda get bored with just one thing.”

“Even sports?” Chanyeol asked him.

“Well, almost everything. As you can see I’m not very athletically inclined.” He said holding out his arm and squeezing his invisible muscle; to which the other two laughed.

“Hey have you ever thought about starting up a blog?” Sunny questioned him.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol was quick to chime in, “I mean, it’s a great way to get your writing out there until you're at a point where you can make this into a career ya know.”

“Well, that is something I’ve thought about but…..” But before he could finish, at the corner of his eye he saw Jongdae making his way back to their table. And he didn’t look too happy.

He slammed his glass down on the table making Changhyun jump and the other two look at him like he was crazy.

“Dude, what the hell is your problem?” Chanyeol asked.

“Oh it’s nothing,” Jongdae responded with a fake smile on his face, “I just need to talk to him for a moment.” He looked over at Changhyun, “Come on.” His voice slightly darker than when he was talking to the others.

Changhyun tried to not look totally scared out of his mind as he got up to follow his boyfriend to a corner of the room. He already knew what was coming and tried to defend himself as quickly as he could.

“Jongdae they started talking to me and….”

“What the did I tell you?” He yelled, cutting the boy off.

“What was I supposed to do? Be rude and say nothing?” He couldn’t understand why the man was so angry when he had done everything he was instructed to do.

“You could’ve left to go to the bathroom or something; ANYTHING until I came back!”

“Jongdae you never told me to do that! You said to only talk when asked a question that I couldn’t just nod an answer too!” He was almost yelling too at this point, something he never did while in an argument with the elder.

“Do I have to tell you every ing thing to do?”

“Apparently yes because that’s what you always do anyways!”

“I wouldn’t have to if you knew how to ing think for yourself!” Changhyun had no response to that. It was such an insult considering how much the other man controlled his life.

“, I don’t know why I even brought you here in the first place. Look at what you’re doing! You embarrass me in front of my friends, you’re making me yell in public, and you’re just completely ruining my ing night.” Changhyun wondered just how many people there were paying attention to all this. He didn’t dare look around to see.

“You see? This is why I don’t take you anywhere! You’re so ing pathetic and annoying; you just ruin everything.” He threw the car keys at him, “Just go home. I’ll take a damn cab.” And with that he stormed away back towards the table.

Before Changhyun’s brain could even register his own actions he was almost running to the men’s room and locking himself in the least disgusting stall he could find. Immediately the tears started flowing and he was thankful that he managed to hold them back long enough for him to get out of the crowed room.

Being berated by his boyfriend wasn’t anything new to him. In fact, he was so used to it that for the most part it didn’t even make him cry anymore. But what was new was being berated in a room full of people. Sure, most of them were too busy partying and drinking to notice. But still, he knew some of them had to have been listening. And he prayed that Chanyeol and Sunny weren’t among those that were.

He sat there drying his eyes with a wad of tissue he grabbed from the toilet paper dispenser wondering if crying in a bathroom stall of a club was more pathetic than being yelled at like a child by your boyfriend in public. The ladder of the two won in his opinion.

Just then a small rapping on the stall door was heard, “Occupied!!” He yelled out through his sniffles.

“Changhyun?” A voice called his name.

Changhyun’s was frozen in shock. He knew that wasn’t Jongdae and the voice didn’t register with the small group of people that he knew.

“Y-yeah?” He answered nervously.

“Open the door!” The voice said in a stern yet gentle tone. Taking a deep breath he got up and turned the lock until it clicked, slowly pushing the door open until it revealed who was calling him. It had been quite some time before he had seen this person and it took a few seconds before he remembered who it was.

“Chanhee hyung?”

“Yeah it’s me!” He said with a smile, “Hey move back a bit.” When the boy did he pulled the door open enough for him to step inside. He closed it behind him and locked the door.

“Are you okay?” He asked the boy who was a bit freaked out by what he just did.

“W-what do you mean?” He replied while looking down at the tissue in his hands. He knew what the other had meant. He was just too embarrassed to address it.

Chanhee opened his mouth as if he were about to speak and closed it right away. In Changhyun's shock the older man reached out and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Changhyun was as stiff as a board. He didn’t know the other that well so this felt incredibly awkward. Plus, he couldn’t remember the last time anyone tried to hug or show any affection at all towards him. Sure, Jongdae’s hugged him in the past but it never felt real to him.

He was about to push the other man away when he said something to him that made him fall into a million pieces, “You’re worth way more than how you let him treat you.”  He lost it then, letting go all the tears he had just been trying to stop from falling. Nobody had ever before acknowledged how wrongly he was being treated by Jongdae. Or the fact that he was worth anything.

He didn’t realize just how tightly he was clutching onto Chanhee until he pulled back to look him in his eyes. To his surprise the elder’s face mirrored is own. He was so lost in his own pain, he hadn’t realize that the other was crying just as hard as he was.

“Look,” Chanhee said pulling back a bit and taking Changhyun’s face in his hands, “I can’t really get into it now but, I get it. Everything you’re going through; gone through, I get it.”

Changhyun nodded knowing exactly what he meant. He could feel the pain radiating from the other, and it felt just like his own.

“I know how it feels when you have all that all you that you have to deal with and on top of that you’re alone.” Moving his hands off the boy’s face he rolled back the sleeve on his left arm and untied a red woven bracelet on his wrist to reveal the scar that was hidden underneath.

“This,” he held his wrist up in front of Changhyun’s face, “this is what happens when everything consumes you and you have nobody to turn to.” The tears were again streaming down Changhyun’s face knowing just what the man was talking about. A quick and easy way to end all the pain. It wasn’t something that crossed his mind often but it had been there quite a few times.

Chanhee reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and put it in Changhyun’s hands. On it was a phone number and an address.

“You take this and hide it you understand? And if you ever need to talk or……you feel like it’s about to come to this,” he held up his wrist again, “you call me, text me, come find me, or whatever okay? Do you understand me?” Changhyun nodded.

Chanhee pulled him into another embrace, “You’re not alone okay? You’re not alone.”

He reluctantly let the boy go, and after one more look in his teary eyes, turned and left the men’s room. Leaving Changhyun feeling like just maybe there was some hope for his sad life after all.

~~~~~~~

Chanhee didn’t care how bad his face looked as he pushed through the crowd towards the bar where his drink was. Once he reached it he picked it up, downed it in one gulp and asked the bartender for another.

He felt a hand rub soothing circles on his back, “Did you talk to him?”

“Yeah I did.” He didn’t look turn to look at him until he gulped down his next drink.

“You okay hyung?”

He sniffled and nodded, “Just take me home Byungie. Please?”

“Of course.” The shorter man replied as he paid for their drinks and led the older man out the front door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay I'd like to say a major thanks to all that still love this fic and wait for updates even though it takes me forever! I love you all and couldn't do this without your support!!! <3

See the cute little bit of ChunJoe?? I might add a tiny bit more of them in the future XD And a cookie to anyone that was able to spot my reference to L.Joe earlier in the fic. I don't mention him by name, but he's there XDDDD