Inside the Room 328. A medical intern was seen bending down to examine his patient. Carefully, he studied each part of the body, trying to make sure that his patient’s condition was completely fine and without any complications. Beside him was a trained staff nurse called Shinji, who assisted him throughout the examination.

After finishing the procedure, he quickly noted down the abnormalities while waiting for the attending physician to come over. Knock! Knock! A knock was heard on the door before someone twisted the doorknob and entered the room within minute. “Sorry for the long waiting!” Hyejung apologized, surprising the two with her sudden appearance.

“Dr Shin, why are you here?” Nurse Shinji questioned, unable to figure it out as the attending physician should be Dr Park. “Chaeyoung has something to handle so I will take over her new case.” She said and hung the stethoscope over her neck. She sat herself beside the patient and placed her stethoscope on his chest.

“Well, lung condition is quite okay. So, what’s his problem?” asked Hyejung. Just then, she noticed the freshly graduated doctor stood beside her. “Mind to introduce yourself?” She beamed before she greeted her in person. “I’m Shin Hyejung, Batch 51 of Seoul National University.”

“I’m Yoon Siyoon, from Batch 54 of Seoul National University. Nice to meet you, senior.” He answered shyly, pushing his spectacles nervously in front of the young beautiful doctor.  “Are you taking part in this case too?” She asked after judging it from the small note in his hand. “Yes, senior.” Her question gained a shy nod from the intern.

With a frown placed on her face, Hyejung crossed her arms as she pretended to be a bit upset by him. “Don’t call me senior. I prefer you to call me by my name. So, what’s the case, Dr Yoon?” She stepped herself towards the cardiac table, flipping the patient’s file while waiting for his reply.

“Patient Lee Howon. Male. 24 years old. Admitted 12 hours ago via ambulance due to fatigue. Information from his group member, patient had complaint of severe pain at the lumbar region started months ago. To prevent neurogenic shock caused by the pain suffered, Dr Park had already given him some painkiller and sent him for spinal X-ray. While waiting for the result, no other medications and treatment were served as his case was still undiagnosed.” He said, trying his best to explain the information he had in his small note.

“Okay. So how’s the result? The X-ray should have been sent over here.” Asked Hyejung while taking a glance on her watch. Her junior passed over the X-ray and Hyejung immediately placed it under the light, observing on the structure of the patient’s spine carefully.

“According to the X-ray and the complaint obtained from the patient, he might have suffered from Spondylolysis. As patient is an active singer, therefore it will be hard for him to be excluded from doing the live performances and dance practices. In my opinion, the stress resulted from his tight schedule has worsen his spine condition. So, for the time being, the best way to treat this problem is…” He continued but then was stopped by the patient who was awake by his voice.

“Where am I?” Hoya’s eyelids fluttered open, the unfamiliar surrounding only further propelled his confusion. With a jolt, he sat up and realized that he had been lying on a bed, with an IV line and its needle in his arm. “In the hospital.” Dr Yoon answered, seeming a bit surprised by his sudden question.

Shifted his eyes, he gazed at Dr Yoon suspiciously after listened to his reply. “Who are you?” He asked in a deep serious voice. His voice seemed to croak every single word, with his throat feeling uncomfortable by the dryness in it. “Who are you?” He repeated again, his tone sounded more urgent this time. He looked at the man in front of him, his eyes were opened wide in alert. “I’m your doctor, Dr Yoon and she’s the attending physician, Dr Shin.” He introduced.

“I know that. So, why am I here? Answer my question!” He demanded dryly, impatient as he was confused about his current situation. He still clearly remembered that he was dancing alone in the dance room a moment ago, where pain suddenly attacked him and forced him to fall himself to the ground, lying lifelessly. And someone entered and called by his name. Hoya Hyung! He remembered this when he was conscious. So, that meant… Damn!

“You’re admitted due to exhaustion. However, we’re more focussed on your backache after gaining some information from your group members that it wasn’t the first time you suffered from such a great back pain. We have gone through some X-rays and other examinations, but the results…” Dr Yoon stopped, his face remained cold like stone, his eyes guilt-ridden for he didn’t know how to deliver the following news.

“But WHAT? Answer me!” He yelled, his eyes were full with anger and showing no patience at all. “I’m afraid I got some bad news,” He paused, clearly distressed, “Mr Lee, I’m sorry but you have to stay in the hospital. From the X-ray, it clearly shown that your lumbar spine has been badly injured. If you didn’t received the treatments, it will be even worse that may affect on your career.”

‘So, you mean I will be unable to be a dance singer anymore?” He yelled, not giving the doctor any chance to explain further. “Not exactly,” the doctor began, obviously uncomfortable to be the one delivering this news. “You still can proceed on your future activities but for the time being, you’re not allowed to do any intense activity at least for 2 months before you’re fully recovered.”

“What?” His eyes widened. “Do you know what are you saying?” He said, his tone showing slight annoyance mixed with a tad of indifference. “Well, it’s actually one of the best ways to recover…” He said and once again stopped by the angry man. “What if your best is not enough?” He retorted in a sharp voice. “If you can’t treat me well, just let me discharge. I don’t have the time to fool around with you, DOCTOR!” He said, prodding the doctor hard in the chest.

“Stop it, Mr Lee. You have no right to do this!” Hyejung raised her voice, as she held Dr Yoon from the arrogant patient. “Dr Yoon, there’s a new case file placed on my desk. Please help me to check on the patient and inform me if there’s any problem. I will talk to this patient.” She ordered, not willing to let him handle on this complicated case when she knew it was going to be his first official case. She didn’t want to let this doctor disappointed and end up leaving his dream thank to this hot temper patient.

“Yes, Dr Shin.” The junior obeyed, quickly stepped out after feeling the tense atmosphere in the room. Stepping herself closer to the patient, Hyejung stared into his eyes before she opened and said, “I guess there’s no point for me to repeat again. But, in case you don’t know about it, I advised you to take note on your current condition. Even it’s not that severe, proper treatments are necessary so I hope you can show cooperation to the doctor and nurses.” She held on her anger, explained patiently to him.

“Hey, DOCTOR. Do you know how ridiculous your request is? How am I supposed to be here and doing nothing when our concert tour will be held on the upcoming weeks. Do you know how much people expected to come and watch it? The reporters, the fans and so do our family and members.” He shouted, with anger filled in his voice. “Yes, I understand but you can’t…”

“No, you’re not understand at all. If you do, you won’t have said it out so easily. Fine! I will just discharge on my own. I must participate in it no matter how!” He answered sharply, showing no mercy to the lady in front of him. Without further hesitation, he gathered all his strength and walked to the door, with the IV frame rolled to him. However, he was stopped once she spoke again, forcing him to turn around. “Selfish person.” She said, immediately gained a glare from the man. “What the hell are you…!”

“All you cared is just your own self pride. You don’t allow your effort just wasted in that way. You don’t allow your hardwork loses to the time.” She said. “Yes, you care your family. Your members and your fans very much. But the care that you shown to me is just what normal people can do as well. Have you even thought of yourself? How would they feel if they’re in your current position? How upset and guilty they are to know you in pain just because of wanting to show them a flawless performance?” She questioned, making the man dumbfounded by her.

“You told me that you care for them. But from my view as an outsider, you’re just a selfish person, aren’t you?” She said harshly as his words somehow had gone over her limits of patience. “You..!” He averted his gaze onto the lady, clenched on his fist as his self pride was challenged by her. “No matter you like it or not, I will make sure that you’re not able to discharge within these 2 months.” She demanded.

“Do you know I have my patient’s right to refuse?” He hissed and glared at her. That glare was enough to sent shudders down her spine. His eyes were burning in anger and his voice was dripping with hostility and cold, making Shinji froze in spot.  “Well, don’t forget I have my doctor’s right to let you stay too, Mr Lee Howon.” She said blankly, completely ignored the man that stood in front of her. “You!” Running a frustrated hand through his hair, he heaved a sigh as he watched her walking away. “Shinji, please call his guardian to register him.” She said before storming out of the room.

“Who do she thinks she is to do so? She’s just a young inexperienced doctor that knows nothing.” He cussed under his breath, totally pissed off by the young doctor. However, his words immediately gained the attention of the nurse Shinji, slightly disagreed with the fact that he pointed out. “Sorry, Mr Lee. But, I need to correct you that Dr Shin is not like what you said. She may be young but she’s not an inexperienced doctor that knows nothing. She entered the university in young age and despite that, she becomes the official attending physician within 4 years. She may seem with a cold personality but I got to admit that she is better than a lot of the doctors here. She always cared the moral that should be owned by a doctor rather than other things.” She added.

“So, she is trying to control her patient?” He replied sarcastically, thinking it was just a stupid effortless reason to persuade him. “No, you have misunderstanding my words.” Shinji yelled, no longer able to calm herself down as worries ran deep in her. “Then, you should tell her to not being stubborn on making me stay!” He said, emphasizing every single word. She gulped as she quickly gave him an explanation. The true reason why Hyejung acted so aggressively against his decision.

“It’s because you are alike to his brother’s condition.” She said, taking a deep breath in order to stay calm, but it was harder than she thought with all that worries inside her. “What?” He growled.

“Dr Shin used to have a brother. His brother was a former doctor in the emergency ward and he was always the inspiration for Dr Shin to be a doctor. However, he injured his backbone due to an incident and paralysed after an unsuccessful surgery. Unable to accept the truth, he killed himself.” She continued on story. “So, what do that related to me?” He voiced as he continued to listen precisely.

“Dr Shin becomes a doctor because of this reason. She wished she can help someone who’s having the same situation like her brother. It has been the nightmare to her and she understands well the pain behind the lost of a family member. So, it happens naturally for her to think the same to your family, your members and your fans. I hope you can understand her feeling of wanting to help. She has no other meaning in her words although it sounds a bit cold and harsh.” She sighed. “Can you please stay to let us treat you?” She pleaded, making the man speechless. All of a sudden, he felt bad to the doctor. For badmouthing her based on the first impression he had on her.

“Can you call my manager?” he softly spoke up as he noticed how desperate the nurse was to help the young doctor. “Pardon?” she stared at him surprisingly, unable to comprehend his words. “Call him over to make a registration.” He said and tucked up in the blanket, turning his face away from her. “Thank you.” She said, happy that she was able to persuade him. Staying in his bed, he looked blankly onto the wall as he muttered, “Why should I pity her? Stupid idiot…”

On the other side, Hyejung sat herself down on the empty stairs, leaned her head against the wall. A long sigh was heard as she rubbed her forehead tiredly. “Oppa, if you’re still right here, then the one who attended him will be you, right? Just now, I have mistaken him as you. I’m a bad doctor, right?” She whispered, with a sad expression took over her face. Slowly, she brought her knees close to her chest and embraced it, crying hardly as she felt the empty presence left behind by the person she missed.

I miss you so much, oppa…

Kim Hoeun 

2013.11.26