"Are you feeling cold? Do you want my jacket-"

"No, thanks," she smiled, showing him his favorite smile, "I'm fine."

They sat together at the garden in silent. For almost 15 minutes, both of them were absorbed in their own mind and didn't utter a word to each other. That, was the first sound from that night besides the faded music from inside the house, the sound of the fountain, and their calm breathing sounds that blended with the night breeze perfectly. 

"You know," Soojung decided to break the heavy atmosphere, "you really looked thinner and your skin got waaay darker than the last time I saw you." She chuckled and titled her head to see him looking straight at her, "Were you that depressed that you went sunbathing by yourself to rinse everything away?"

Jongin went silent, "What if I really was?"

She stopped from chuckling at her attempt to make the situation lighter, "Y- yah... I was joking. Learn to live the life with more fun, will you? It won't hurt your throat if you spare a laugh anyway." 

Scoffing, rolling eyes, puckering lips, and, "Eyebrows," he said as he placed his index finger on the middle of her forehead that wrinkled, "stop knitting, will you? It won't turn into a sweater if you keep on doing it anyway."

He smiled seeing her forehead was back to its original state as she looked at him in disbelief, "There, I'm living the life with more fun, aren't I?"

Jongin laughed in his low voice and soon, Soojung joined him.

"Wow, am I seeing things? Is this the real Kai I'm seeing?" She joked and she moved closer to scrutinize his face. Casually, she moved her palm and placed it on Jongin's forehead.

"What are-" Jongin trailed off. He felt his chest pounded hard because of the contact. 

He stared at Soojung's close up features as she wrinkled her eyerbrows, again, making herself look like a doctor who was treating her patient.

"Whoa!" Soojung exclaimed as she put her hand down, "You're not sick. Then why..." She tapped her chin.

Jongin cleared his throat, "Y- yah! What's so wrong with that? You think I can't joke?" He rolled his eyes then looked away.

Soojung side glanced him then laughed, "See? You're back. This, is the real Kai that I know." She smiled, looking at the fountain in front of them, "The grumpy, bad tempered Kai, who knows nothing about jokes. Not even the lame ones." She chuckled to herself and she shook her head.

Jongin looked at her saying things about himself.

"Was I really that bad?" He managed to say what was in his mind loud enough for her to hear, but not that clear.

She looked at him, "What did you say?"

He thought for seconds then shook his head, "Nothing."

She blinked at him then shrugged, deciding not to ask further.

Again, the silence hugged both of them. Awkwardly. 

"I wanna ask you something," Jongin said, tearing Soojung's attention at the changing colors fountain.

"What is it?" She asked, not looking back at him.

He waited for her to tilt her head but she stayed still.

"Soojung-ah," he called, "can you please look at me while I'm talking?"

Soojung widened her eyes and she felt a slight stab on her chest as she heard him call her by that.

The name that once was special for her to hear.

The name that she had been longing to be called by.

"Soojung-ah..." Jongin smiled to himself, "I can call you by that, right..?"

She looked at him, who was tugging her sleeve and looking oh so adorable with his puppy eyes, "Oh don't give me that look, Kai. You know Luhan would do better in aegyo than you."

He rolled his eyes at the mention of someone else's name, "But I don't want to call you by the name everyone use to call you." He looked at her lovingly, "I'm your boyfriend, so instead of calling you, uhm.. 'sweetie', that's really not so me, can I call you by Soojung?"

She chuckled seeing her boyfriend's childish behaviour. She flicked his forehead, "Stop being childish, you know you don't fit that."

"Ouch! That... Was hurt," Jongin rolled his eyes, "then? You allow me or...?"

She looked at him once again, tearing his attention from the fashion management book she was reading, "Fine. Do whatever that pleases you. It will be the same anyway."

"Yeah!" Jongin pumped his fist and his eyesmile appeared, "You know it won't be the same if I'm the one who call you~" he said as he pinched her cheeks with both his big hands.

"Kaaaaai!" She whined as she pushed his head off from her tights, "Stop or I will prohibit you from laying on my lap anymore."

He rolled his eyes, "Look who's on her period."

"You will hurt your eyes if you keep on rolling them you know," Soojung paid her full attention back to her book.

Jongin widened his eyes, "Yah!"

"Soojung?"

She snapped his mind back, no, Soojung, no flashback or whatsoever.

She looked at him, "Hm?"

He sighed, "I wanna ask you something. Can you please... Look at me?"

She bit her lip as she positioned herself so she was now facing him, "Better?"

He nodded and smiled slightly, "Thanks."

"What is it?" Soojung asked.

Jongin paused a second then spoke again without looking at her in the eyes, "Why?"

Soojung wrinkles her eyebrow, "What why?"

He looked up, showing the stress that was showing in his eyes, "Why did you leave me?"

There, Soojung was lost for words. 

"Why you just left like that?" He asked again.

Still, no reply from Soojung.

"Why," he inhaled and looked at her straight to her eyes, "why didn't you wait for me to arrive?"

Soojung went silent.

It was hard for them to breath.

Soojung had already expected that day to come, yet, she couldn't bring herself to open . All of the memories from that day, all the pains from that day, and all the words that could explain how hard it was for her, too, were stuck in .

She could feel her eyes were teary.

"You know this is not the reality I wanted," Jongin spoke again, "I was hurt. I was devastated. I was lost. I had no intentions of going on, intentions of moving on. I just..." Jongin stopped as he looked down and sighed for the umpteenth time that night, "Why, Soojung?"

Soojung still chose to not open , or to be exact, she still couldn't answer him.

Jongin, too, didn't know what else he had to say. He just kept silent, waiting for her answer. Gazing at her just made him feeling worse, even worse than that day when she left him.

When everything was chosen to be ended. 

After it felt like a century, Soojung let out a sigh. A heavy sigh. She looked up and Jongin looked a bit startled that he saw tears were forming in her eyes.

I... I made her cry, again? Jongin thought in his mind.

"Yes," she chuckled, "I think it's only you whom I would shed tears over, willingly." She talked like she just read his mind. 

Jongin just kept quiet. Afraid if he said another word, he would just hurt her even further.

She bit her bottom lip and looked back at the fountain, "You know... It's kinda unfair to say that you were devastated, that you were lost, and that you were broken," she tilted her head to see him in the eyes, "because I was too. Perhaps, even worse."

Jongin could clearly look the pain that reflected through her eyes. There, he just realized how the two of them were actually pained. It wasn't just him. He realized how wrong was him to judge her just like that. Sudden guilt washed him over.

"Soojung, I-"

"This, is not the reality that I wanted too, Jongin," she continued, "and not to mention how hard it was for us to built the... Connection, between us."

She sighed as she looked away, didn't want him to see the tears that were falling freely to her rosy cheek. 

After a pause, she tilted her head to see him again. 

"Before I give you the answers of your questions, can I ask you something first?" She asked.

Jongin looked at her for a second before nodded his head, "Go ahead."

She took a deep breath, "If you didn't want me to leave you, why did you let me go?"