There was something different that day, Hyukjae could tell right after taking a look at mrs. Lee’s face. It was as if the air around the house had thicken, a grey blanket covering the usual brightness. Or perhaps, it was the layer of brightness that had gone away, revealing what was underneath. The young man couldn’t bear the thought of the latter being true.

Even Donghae didn’t make any attempts to . He was serious, his eyes casted down and when Hyukjae asked him what was wrong, he turned his head away.

“Eat,” was the only thing he said.

Instructions about what they had to do that day didn’t come either. He watched with brows knitted together as the middle-aged woman made mistakes without an obvious excuse. At least it looked like that to Hyukjae. Catching a rice bowl right before falling on the floor as it slipped from mrs. Lee’s hands, now he was the one to gently push her to sit down. Filling a glass with cold water, he called Donghae.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, appearing at the door.

“Your mother…”

The younger didn’t move or even blinked.

“She’s fine."

Hyukjae was momentarily at a loss of words. Anger built up within seconds and he gripped the collar of Donghae’s shirt. His nostrils flared and his chest heaved as he tried not to punch the boy. Only a couple centimeters were between their faces as he hissed.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me.”

Donghae didn’t look away, silently daring with his eyes the other. Just as Hyukjae was about to snap back, mrs. Lee stopped them.

“He’s right. I am fine.”

Glaring at the younger some more, Hyukjae let him go.

“Hmph…”

So much for trying to come closer…

The lady assured him everything was alright, adding that his suit had been ironed and was on his bed. That he should go wear it. He didn’t ask why. He had learned that mrs. Lee’s every word had a meaning. She and her son never wasted breaths without a reason. What a gift. How strange.

Later, Hyukjae would be thankful he had left Seoul wearing one of his black business suits. When Donghae came to sit in the living room, he was wearing one too. And when asked why, Hyukjae had gotten an answer to one of his unvoiced questions.

“It’s my father’s memorial today.”

He didn’t say anything. He knew how those words felt when said: “I’m sorry for your loss”. Of course, be sorry, but at the end of the day you’re not gonna be the one with the loss. You’ll continue living your life unaffected while the ones suffering will be left alone. Because there’s no one that can understand them besides themselves. No one but themselves and someone who had a similar experience.

Waiting for mrs. Lee to get ready, Hyukjae was trying not to stare at the younger. He could see by the way he was sitting that he wanted to shield himself. To appear strong. But it’s always hard to tear your gaze from something unfitting in what you know as normal world. From something broken. That was a real turn of events! Having always been the one who was taken care of, Hyukjae didn’t spare a thought about what problems others might have.

He closed his eyes and rested his head back on the couch. Always being the one that had to be fixed by others, he’d thought that none could be suffering as much as him. And look now, he had been proven terribly wrong… Right before him was sitting a man that obviously didn’t have someone to help him. Or rather, he wasn’t letting anyone.

Slightly opening an eye, Hyukjae glanced at the young man. He was trying to fix his brown locks, keep them from falling into his eyes. Keep himself from thinking about his father. The hair was stubbornly refusing to remain behind his ears, mainly because his hands were trembling so badly that he couldn’t even manage something as simple as that. He cursed loudly and gave up, hiding his face in his hands.

Feeling a strange pang in his chest, Hyukjae got up and walked to the younger’s side, his arms awkwardly hanging to his sides.

“Hey…”

“Shut up.”

The words were muffled not only by his flesh. A sob was heard and Donghae pressed his face even more in his hands, wanting to hide his weakness. Thinking for a couple of seconds, the older knelt on the carpet