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-Jiyongchy

The rain pours on me, dilutes my tears with every drop. The dark street of Seoul covers my hopeless expression. Every step I make, as I move away from the office, making the wound in my heart rips bigger. His words play in reply in my head. 'Scram, leave me alone'. Like a constant reminder of his rejection.

I'm sure I've loved before and I've been hurt before. But this, this is something else. The level of pain that my heart is currently aching from is extra-terrestrial to me. I've never cried my self as I walk in public space. I've never chase a man. I've never begged. I've never ruined.

Him, it's him.

I curse myself for being too weak to control my heart and letting it believe. I've let my self believe into something that's delusional and imaginative. For once, I regret ignoring my brother's constant reminder. For once, I feel stupid for tuning out my brother's excessive worry.

I should've known.

The logical part of my brain must've been shut off the moment his breath touches my face. My strong will power must've been broke down once his eyes bored into mine. My sense of right or wrong must've been mixed up the moment his fingers intertwine with mine. I have to give it to him; he really knows his power and uses it damn well.

I walk mindlessly along the streets, not caring who watches as I sob, when a black van drives slowly on the street next to me, following my step.

"HANA!" A familiar voice calls me from inside the van.

I turn and saw my brother's face covers with scarf and sunglasses, peeking from the window.

"Oppa!" I shriek weakly but somehow I feel relieve. His face is a reminder that at least there is still one person in this cold city that loves me.

"COME IN!!" He hisses.

I follow his words and get inside the big black dry car. The leather car seat is soaked in an instant the moment my drenched body is inside. I give an apologetically gaze to his manager from the rear window showing my sorry for ruining the leather of the seat.

"What the hell are you doing?!!" My brother's voice roars in the car as it moves forward.

"I'm going home" I answer, lowering my head trying to hide away my bloated eyes.

"In the middle of the rain?!!!!!" He's angry.

"I waited for the bus, but it takes too long" I maintain a calm tone.

"What is wrong with you???! Did you forget that you have a brother?!!!!" His voice is louder. Now this, this is my brother's wrath.

"I don't... You were busy, I don't want to disturb you" I answer, slightly timid.

"Just shut it, Hana. I swear I want to lock you up in your room and ground you up" his voice toned down as he massage his temple.

The car moves along the traffic while silence is between my brother and I. He's pissed and I know it's my fault. I couldn't find the guts to look up so I keep my head low, playing with my fingers as my brother constantly sighing.

I run away the moment Kwon Ji Yong slams the door in my face. It didn't occur to me that my brother was on the other side of the room. I needed to leave, I needed to get away. I needed to be alone.

The car stops in front of my dorm's building and I slide the car door opens. Before I fully eject from my seat, I bow slightly to my brother's manager, thanking him for driving me home. I was about to turn to my brother, bidding my farewell when he is no longer in his seat. I turn to my side, and my brother is already waiting outside in front of me with an umbrella on his hand and an extended hand to help me get off the car.

"What are you doing?" I ask while I grab his hand to get off the car.

"I'll take you home" he says, draping his arm on my shoulder as if trying to shelters me from the cold.

"I can go inside myself oppa" I look at him. Deep inside, I am thankful. Thankful for my brother's deep affection for me.

"I'm not finish scolding you yet" He says calmly and there goes my adoration.

Once inside, my brother pushes me to quickly take a bath and change. I told him that I want to make him dinner first but he growls at me instead. He seats himself on the sofa and turning the TV on with its volume on high so that he couldn't hear my objection and expect me to follow his instructions.

I sigh and of course, follow his orders unwillingly.

I am drying my head with a towel when I plop my body onto the empty space next to my brother. He is enjoying an episode of Running Man with an occasional laugh. I lay my head on his shoulder, suddenly feeling completely drained. I thank heavens for bringing me my brother at this time. God knows what happens if I walk home alone.

“How did you know where I was, oppa?” I ask lazily.

“Jiyong hyung told me” He says with his eyes still glued to the screen. The name makes my body tense involuntarily.

He turns, noticing my discomfort. “Wae?”

“Nothing” I lied.

“You know, I used to think there’s something going on between you and Jiyong hyung” He says making me remember the stings that still lingers in my heart.

“There is nothing between us” I answer sternly. As the words slip, my wounds widen.

“If you say that weeks ago, I probably wouldn’t believe you”