Do Kyungsoo has to admit, he’s done a lot of dumb things in his life, some that he wishes he can forget. There was that time when he took his hamster into the kitchen, only to find out that the furry rodent had been burned to a crisp when it had accidentally stepped on the gas. Kyungsoo likes to think of his (now deceased) hamster as smart, but the stove obviously had outwitted it. Unfortunately, his mother happened to mistake it for the cut of meat they were having that evening. Kyungsoo resolved to never to buy a pet again after that day.

There is also that time when he was alone in the school library late at night, and he had heard footsteps resounding behind him and a figure approaching from behind. A slight touch to the shoulder and Kyungsoo had jumped. At that time, Kyungsoo vowed that it was his sheer instinct of self-protection that had made him act in such a way. Later, he would blame the horror movies that he had been bullied to watch by his friends.  Wielding a 1000 page encyclopaedia that was on the life of snails – in Kyungsoo’s defence, it was the heaviest book that he happened to find lying around-, he knocked the so –called murderer to the ground. It was slightly awkward to find the principal on the ground instead of the expected crook, a stunned expression on his face. Kyungsoo ran for his life.  He also happened to transfer schools the very next week.

Kyungsoo has to agree that he isn’t exactly the definition of ‘luck’. Heck, he isn’t even a synonym of luck. Far from it, actually. In fact, if one is to look in the dictionary and search for the word ‘misfortune’, it would be inevitable and unsurprising if ‘Do Kyungsoo’ is the very first entry that appears.  

So, Kyungsoo feels mildly relieved when he finds out that his applicant to EXO Law and Co. had been successfully processed and that he was expected to start work the following week. Honestly, if there is one place that Kyungsoo would deem an accident-prone place, it would be the court. Glancing at his letter of verification, a small smile dances upon his face. He has an office to himself. Awesome.

So, that’s how Kyungsoo finds himself standing outside a grand building, decked out in a new shirt and fancy pants. Thankfully, Kyungsoo had managed to iron both without burning anything, material or person. He takes a deep breath before pushing the door open and is momentarily blinded by the white, artificial light. When he manages to focus on his surroundings, Kyungsoo has to say that he is impressed.

The room he is currently standing in is simple, yet decorated sophisticatedly. A glass chandelier hangs from the ceiling, and the room’s furniture consists of a few luxurious couches and numerous tables. Kyungsoo takes a few steps forward, gazing around the room in wonder at how an office reception could look so elegant, so refined, so—

“You might want to take a few steps back mister. That chandelier is pretty famous. It falls down at very inconvenient times.”

Kyungsoo jumps slightly at the comment. Not really. He shoots up so fast that he feels like he could rocket through the roof. He tries to convince himself otherwise, though. A failure in the department of ‘manliness’ wasn’t a good way to go right now.

He takes a few steps forward anyway, taking heed to the words of warning from the other boy. Glancing over to the reception desk, Kyungsoo’s breath hitches slightly.  Sitting in the seat is a tanned boy with a sharp jawline and eyes that will forever be etched into Kyungsoo’s mind. Tanned reception boy stands up from his seat and puts his hand out. Holy. He’s tall.

“Kim Jongin, receptionist for Buffalo Law and Co. at your service. Happy to meet you.” The dark eyes pierce into Kyungsoo’s, and Kyungsoo tries to decide if it is normal or not that he feels like he is going to start hyperventilating. Maybe he should take the therapy again; breathing exercises were desperately needed right now.

“I’m—“ Kyungsoo begins, but a finger presses against his lips, silencing him. His eyes widen as Jongin tilts his head slightly, as if he was trying to hear something. Kyungsoo finds out what happens right after.

A deafening crash resounds through the room and Kyungsoo turns slowly, and his expression morphs into one of horror and shock. The delicate chandelier from before is now lying on the floor, broken with shards scattered on the floor, glimmering softly.

“Are you glad that you listened to me?” Jongin’s voice is husky with amusement as he wanders over to the mess, “The last person that came didn’t. This glass may not look it, but it’s some of the sharpest and most deadly in the region. It can cut through nearly anything”

“What?” Kyungsoo manages to squeak.

Jongin levels his gaze with Kyungsoo’s before responding, “Have you ever had a near castration experience? Painful stuff. I suggest you to try and avoid those encounters, if you are planning on having babies.” The mirth is evident in the other’s eyes. Kyungsoo wonders if he is turning green. He feels like it.

Jongin’s attention is already turned back to the pile of debris on the floor. He sighs and retreats back to the reception desk. Kyungsoo watches as the male picks up a tiny bell and rings it. He hears nothing, but obviously someone else does.  

“OUTTA MY WAY.” A voice echoes through the hallway and Kyungsoo turns to face Jongin. For one, Jongin doesn’t seem to be worried in the slightest that someone is currently screaming down the corridor. Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he is meant to feel reassured or if he is supposed to fear for his sanity.

A short man – well, Kyungsoo can’t really say that, since he himself isn’t exactly on the tall side- comes skidding into the room, decked out with a broom, duster and everything. He gives the two a bright smile.

“Hey y’all. What’s happened now?”

Jongin merely points to the situation on the floor, and the man’s face drops.

“Oh. That again?”

Jongin nods. It is only then when the man notices Kyungsoo standing beside the receptionist and he bounds towards said person without a moment’s hesitation.

“You must be the new worker that everyone’s been gossiping about,” the man says cheerfully, extending a hand and grabbing Kyungsoo’s before shaking it enthusiastically, “Everyone’s been awaiting your arrival. I am Joonmyun, the janitor, the errand boy; you name it, I do it.” Kyungsoo sneezes. Dust is a wonderful substance. He thinks he needs a tissue. Snot is an attractive thing, especially in front of your soon-to-be workmates.

“Has Jongin given you a tour yet?” Joonmyun continues, staring back at Jongin. Jongin nods curtly.

“I was going to do. Then the chandelier made its grand entrance and decided to try and kill our newest recruit. Charming isn’t it?”

Joonmyun shakes his head, with a look of sincere disappointment, “We are going to have to give the chandelier a lecture on how to behave don’t we?”

Kyungsoo tries to console himself. These people are not crazy at all. They may have been worked overtime, so they are just a bit…odd in personality—Kyungsoo sneezes again. Damn the world and its allergies.

“Well now newbie, let’s go and familiarise you with this place. Honestly, it won’t be that hard.” Jongin is back next to him, and Kyungsoo sees a smirk tug at the handsome face. He nods in response and allows himself to be led down the hallway by the tanned man.

A sudden thought hits Kyungsoo and he turns to Jongin.

“I thought this place was called EXO Law & Co.”

Jongin grimaces, “Long story. Maybe you’ll find it out later.”

Kyungsoo bashes his leg against one of their couches and nearly falls onto his face when they leave. Kyungsoo groans at his own stupidity. Jongin laughs.  Kyungsoo feels slightly better. Jongin asks him if he is okay. Kyungsoo responds that he is and smiles. Jongin laughs again. Kyungsoo feels much better. (It still bloody hurts though)

-

There are many ways in which the urban office of Buffalo (formerly EXO) Law & Co. can possibly be described. Extravagant and ostentatious in a rather hap-hazard, childish way is one that many think of, though the majority think of it as an insult rather than a compliment; especially since though nice to look at, being hit by a falling chandelier isn’t really good for the soul.

However, that is the reception of EXO-K.

As he walks through the halls of EXO-M’s section of the building of Buffalo Law & Co., tracing the path that he has already committed so well to memory, Huang Zitao smiles in satisfaction to himself, the same smile that has sent many a soul’s heart fluttering. Fluttering in fear. Because Zitao, with all his good intentions is unfortunate enough to have the aura and demeanour of one whom takes sadistic pleasure in the anguished cries of a thousand burning souls. People have often remarked that looking into his obsidian eyes is like looking into a toilet; clear one moment, but one wrong move and something foul will occur.

(Then again, the one to make the remark had been a certain Zhang Yixing. Perhaps he has bowel issues.)

“I look fabulous as always.” He nods in approval as he pauses by one of the many portraits that hang along the corridor he is currently marching down. One day all of EXO had been called upon to have a mandatory photo-shoot, and whilst EXO-K had some sort of stupid wannabe-jock concept, EXO-M had decided to be classy as classy could possibly ever be, with ice-cream and armpit hair and popcorn in mouths (if anyone can pull it off, Luhan’s the one!) and general awesomeness.

Zitao examines his portrait with a critical eye, before a hand claps down on his shoulder.

“Ow ow owww!” Shrieks Jongdae as his arm is twisted back, courtesy of Zitao’s ninja-like reflexes.

“Oh. It’s you.” The young male deadpans, blinking at the other.

Jongdae winces in pain. “Zitao-ah, you’re taking your job a tad bit too seriously!”

The other snorts. “It’s a job. What else do you want me to do, fart a rainbow?”

The elder man immediately imagines the mental image. Dark, brooding Zitao with a multitude of colours shooting from his arse as he prances on top of a grassy hill, complete with… a pony. Yes, a pony. Jongdae likes ponies; their height is stunted, much like his. Unlike them dreaded horses, tall and insensitive jerks. A rather undignified snort escaping his nostrils, he shakes his head no.

“That’d be terrifying.”

His arm is twisted further in response.

“Are you going to let me go now?”

Zitao seems to consider it for a moment, before fixing his gaze on the other man. “Depends. Will you give me that strawberry cake you brought to work?”

Jongdae quirks an eyebrow. “Stop eating, you’ll get fat and ugly and no one will love your sorry excuse for a face. What strawberry cake do you speak of?”

Zitao ignores the jibe, and focuses on the question. “The strawberry cake with the cream in the centre and the 3 strawberries cut in half so that half a strawberry rests upon a small bed of whipped cream, the one on the second shelf of the fridge in the kitchen that has the pink sticky note saying that it is not to be eaten.” Zitao recites dutifully. He turns his eyes onto the shorter man, and blinks. “I can list all the ingredients if you want.”

The elder man lets out a sigh, and doesn’t bother to think things through before he nods his consent. “Fine.” There really is no going between Zitao and his fondness (deep affection well past the border of creepy obsession) love for sweet baked goods, especially cake.

A shame, really. What Zitao had mistaken to be whipped cream is actually toothpaste. Jongdae had been planning to gift it to a certain boss named Minseok, but this is a fine turnout too.

As promised, Zitao lets go and swaggers off to resume his rounds. A security guard knows no rest, after all.

Left to his own devices, Jongdae shakes his head, before experimentally shrugging the shoulder of the arm Zitao had twisted and wincing at the sharp jolt of pain that instantly rockets through the limb. “Oh, damnit. I swear he could try out for the role of that guy in that vampire movie, his name started with an E. That insanely strong dude, you know?”

He’s speaking to a grand audience of air particles, and after realising that to others, it appears as if he’s checking out Zitao’s banana – as in, the one he holds in the portrait that he had not budged from , not… that– he moves on down the corridor and towards his desk.

As he flops like a fish on dry land onto his swivel chair, he props his legs up onto the desk.

“Please. Zitao’s so-called fabulous has nothing against mine.”

He’s about to whip out a camera to take a selca of himself to post on twitter (he has many followers okay, it comes from his dastardly good looks, sarcastic tweets and of course the ‘Follow me! I’ll follow you back!’ tweets that he likes to tag with random hashtags) when just as he has gotten into the perfect pose and adjusted the angle accordingly, the plastic phone that seems to be present in all offices rings shrilly.

Setting down his phone, he sighs in displeasure as he picks up the receiver, adopting what he claims to be a classy and professional tone but what others call his ‘I-want-to-be-slapped’ voice.

“Hello, you have reached the reception of EXO-M, can I take a message?” the sentence flows from his mouth with practiced finesse.

Slightly off topic, but back when he had first joined the law firm, he had answered calls with ‘Yo, Kim Jongdae in the houuuse! May I take your pizza order?’, and had subsequently lost the company both clients and reputation. It had taken a good deal many months to build the company’s reputation back up from the figurative ashes, and somehow throughout it all the trolling man had managed to retain his job.

Ah, those are the good old days.

After a short pause, the person on the other end speaks.

“Chen-ah, you have bird poop on your car again.”

The man in question blinks. “Yixing-hyung, what did we say about calling the reception phone for personal matters? And why do you insist on calling me Chen?”

“Not to do so because it can hold up potential clients?” There’s a pause, before Yixing seems to dismiss the importance of that (he never seems to register the important things, anyway) and carries on to answer his second question. “You remind me of an orange. Because… you’re orange.”

Jongdae lets out a sigh, drawing a displeased, frowning face on a sheet of A4 paper before scrunching it up and throwing the wad of paper at a nearby bin. Drat. It missed. He’d leave it to the janitor to clean. What the heck is being called an orange meant to mean? Is Yixing saying he’s round too? Is he being called fat? Jongdae isn’t fat. He doesn’t have abs like Yixing somehow does, but he’s most certainly not fat.

“That’s right. So don’t do so from now on, okay?” He doesn’t bother acknowledging the latter part of the sentence past the face he had scribbled. Yixing’s mind is a place better left unquestioned.

“Okay.”

“Good bye, hyung.”

He hangs up and loads up the computer, all ready for a new day of work and when he is half-way through a very important task the phone rings again. Eyes on the screen and the rather riveting game of Tetris he is playing, has paused, and has a feeling he will lose, he answers.

“Hello, you have reached the reception of EXO-M, can I take a message?”

There’s a slight pause, before a decidedly dreamy and familiar voice speaks.

“Wisdom of the day. Wear clean underwear.”

Jongdae shrieks.

“YIXING-HYUNG, GET BACK TO WORK!”

-

The wide eyed boy is cute, is the first thought that hits Jongin when the said one makes his appearance in the reception area that morning. Jongin mentally curses the chandelier for choosing today, out of all the days in the entirety of days, as the let’s-kill-the-latest-recruit-or-even-worse-cut-off-his-male-s day. Oddly enough, Jongin decides that he likes this new arrival. Mind you, Jongin liking a new employee is like Kris from EXO-M’s side wearing a pink tutu and prancing around the corridors, singing an 80’s song. The image is more disturbing than funny.

The hallway is cold, and Jongin frowns at this. They are in the middle of a dead hot summer, and Jongin does not really expect the place to feel like he is currently situated in an igloo. Not that he minds. Igloos are awfully cool. Pun intended.

Jongin notices that Kyungsoo - was Kyungsoo the name? Jongin would find out later- is not behind him anymore, and the tanned male swivels around, trying to locate the other. He finds the shorter male staring at the portraits that are aligned on the white, clean wall. Oh wait, the orange stain is still there, Jongin realises as he squints at it closely. Sehun likes oranges way too much in Jongin’s opinion. How he got it on the wall though will forever remain a mystery – except to Sehun of course, who giggles when the incident is mentioned. The child giggles. Jongin adds that to the list of ‘Why Oh Sehun is a retarded kid who was dropped on his head at birth.’ If anyone wants to know, the list is quite long.

Jongin inwardly groans when he realises something that was totally and utterly terrible. He is going to have to introduce cute boy to Sehun. Oh boy, how is that going to go down? His head snaps up when he hears the other boy start to speak in a hesitant voice.

“What are these?”

Those, my dear colleague, are the things that hopefully won’t make you go screaming out through the doors, is what Jongin really wants to say. However, he somehow manages to keep a straight face before responding to the posed question.

“They are our company’s group photo.”

Cue awkward cricket chirping noises.

“I see. They look interesting.”

Jongin chokes. The naïve kid.  Whatever could have possessed him to think that a group photo with derps and ice-cream smothered on everyone – culprit = Yixing hyung- is ‘interesting’. Jongin had nearly died of shock the first time he had seen the photo. No one can blame him. Zitao looked like a freaking ninja assassin in it. It doesn’t really help that he is situated right in behind Jongin.

Jongin leads Kyungsoo to the grand doors that lead to the offices. He shivers slightly. It seems much colder here. Jongin has a bad feeling. A very bad feeling. Kyungsoo seems to sense the other’s hesitation.

“Let’s go in.” the other proposes and he places his hand on the door knob before turning it. Jongin tries to quench the feeling that something horrific was going to happen. And it did. Unfortunately.

Jongin hears Kyungsoo yelp. As he turns to examine the situation, his expression morphs into one of horror as he looks upon the scene in front of him. What was once upon a time a clean and (rather) tidy office area has now been transformed into an area with papers flying everywhere, being propelled by multiple fans. Jongin squints. He sees paper aeroplanes. Oh gosh. No.

Turning to face Kyungsoo, he sees that the elder is a victim of being hit in the eye by one of the said planes. He takes a deep breath before saying, as calmly as he can, “Baekhyun-hyung, Sehun-ah. We have a new arrival.”

One might think that Jongin had just announced that he is going to give away a million dollars judging by the response he receives. A short brunette jumps out from behind a desk and makes his way through the snow (tax invoices) before staring at Kyungsoo. A taller male – he dyed his hair again, Jongin sighs- comes sprinting over the desk, jumping over chairs and arrives next to the brunette. Kyungsoo blinks.

“Byun Baekhyun,” Jongin starts drily, “paperwork in EXO-K, however he makes majority of them into aeroplanes or origami, if you haven’t noticed already. He also has a near creepy, wait scratch that, beyond creepy obsession with a certain judge from EXO-K. Also don’t get in between him and his eyeliner. Things can get pretty ugly if you do so.” Baekhyun opens his mouth to protest against the statements, but Jongin moves on quite quickly.

“Oh Sehun, our office bum. Don’t be surprised if the stuck up prince here looks like his features are permanently frozen in that blank expression. He does show some emotion, it is just a rare occurrence. He likes deers though. Don’t look concerned, you will understand later.” A flicker of emotion crosses Sehun’s eyes. Yep, the kid is smitten like a kitten with a toy. Very smitten.

Kyungsoo looks confused. Jongin doesn’t blame him. He sneaks a look at the other two and slowly, ever so slowly, counts down.

Three.

Two.

One.

“So Kyungsoo-ah,” Baekhyun starts, scanning his gaze up and down the former, “today is your first day working here right?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo stammers, “I—”

“Ever been in a relationship?”

Kyungsoo blinks, “Well—”

“You interested in guys?”

Kyungsoo turns into a shade of tomato, “I—”

“Because Jonginnie here is really ually-deprived right now.”

Jongin really wants to throw Baekhyun into some secluded place in the universe and leave him there to suffer. He can grow his own mushrooms there for all that Jongin cares. Stuff formalities and hyungs. Stuff them all. 

A person enters the room and it is he that manages to shut up Baekhyun from questioning Kyungsoo about what his ual orientation. Sehun’s expression is blank, but he stands up a bit straighter. Jongin smooths the creases that had appeared in his attire.

“Who is that?”

The blunt question leaves Jongin spluttering, Baekhyun gaping and Sehun rolling on the floor laughing. For some odd reason that Jongin can never comprehend, the youngest always shows emotion at the most inconvenient times. Right now for example. Jongin nudges Kyungsoo side and the other seems to be aware of the after-effect that his offhand comment made.

The person in question gives a huge smile to Kyungsoo. Jongin flinches. He is not sure exactly if it is a smile. In his opinion, it is a huge smile that es wear that says, “I want to take you to my van by luring you with my lollies, child.”

If Kyungsoo is scared, he is definitely not showing it. Jongin watches as he steps forward to grasp the other’s outstretched hand. Jongin is very concerned about Kyungsoo’s wellbeing and safety right now. Obviously, the boy did not know the difference between civilised people and creeps.

“Park Chanyeol,” Mister-I-am-going-to-eat-you-up says to Kyungsoo, throwing another grin at the new recruit, “Prosecutor of EXO-K, PHD in Law—”

And the author of ‘How to Scare People away with toothy smiles in 1000 ways’. Winner of multiple awards and nominated for the BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR three years running. Jongin mentally chants.

“—It is an absolute honour to be able to work with you Kyungsoo. I hope you enjoy your stay. Jongin, can you show him to his office?”

“That’s my goal currently,” Jongin grumbles, looking around the room, “But, it seems like an avalanche has now occupied his space.” Indeed, Kyungsoo’s place is now filled with hundreds of papers from the mini cyclone that had occurred just before.

“He can share with you for now.”

Gosh. Jongin sharing? That is almost unheard of, and it is utterly rubbish. Jongin is not one to share for god’s sake. He has never been—

“Sure.”

Everyone stares. Everyone gapes. Baekhyun is choking.

“Oh my freaking jolly gosh, someone quickly get a camcorder or something. This is something that has never been heard before! Quick Sehun! Jongin, can you repeat what you just said?”

Jongin ignores the comment that is thrown at him and grabs Kyungsoo’s hand and dragging him into his office. He closes the door and sighs. Peace at last. Kind of. He can still hear Baekhyun screaming for a camera and Sehun running around the corridors to try and find it. He sits down in one of the chairs that occupy the room.

Kyungsoo’s voice suddenly speaks up, “What year are you born in Jongin-ah?”

Jongin blinks. The kid is asking for his birthdate?

“Early 94 liner.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes crinkle in a grin, “Well, I guess I am the hyung then.”

Jongin falls off his chair, “What?” he croaks, shocked.

“Early 93 liner here. I expect you call me hyung.”

What is happening to the world? Baby faced men that are older than him? Jongin will never understand reality anymore. Then again, he never has.

-

Luhan greets everyone he passes with a grin and a figurative trail of daisies.

“Good morning sunshine, it’s a beautiful day!” his beam exudes a natural aura of happiness and sunshine, but the daisies begin to wither when he reaches out to hug the one whom he is addressing.

There’s silence for a moment or two, before.

“Oww. Zitao-ah, can you leggo of me?”

The tall, dark and panda-like man in question sends glare in his direction. Though to be fair, even when neutral the security guard appears to be glaring so the comparatively shorter male isn’t a hundred per cent sure if he’s glaring or just staring at him.

There’s a beat of silence, before Luhan feels something connect with his head. “Oww!” He exclaims, eyes immediately darting down to the floor, where the projectile lies due to the amazing powers of gravity.

“Is that a Lego block?” he questions.

He’s answered in the form of a mirthful laugh and a sudden Cheshire Cat-like grin on a certain receptionist’s features. “You wanted Zitao to leggo of you, so I threw a Lego block at you! Geddit?” he exclaims, before laughing heartily at his own joke, taking no heed to the rapidly darkening aura of the tall wushu extraordinaire.

“You have ten seconds to run.” The angsty male declares.

Jongdae immediately flees the room. “Run, run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m freaking Kim Jongdae!” he cries, the syllables forming a comforting back-beat to the pounding of Zitao’s feet upon the floor.

“That doesn’t rhyme. What a disappointment to the animal kingdom he is.”

Luhan jumps about a mile into the air. “Jeez, Yixing-ah! You’re like a ghost, just not as pale! Is that foundation I see?”

The forgetful man in question blinks hazily, before completely dismissing what the other says (questionable in itself, perhaps he never absorbed his words in the first place and therefore has nothing to dismiss?) and raising a hand to pat Luhan on the shoulder gently.

“Now dear, I know these events have been traumatising, but I must know whether or not you would like coleslaw.”

“It’s totally foundation you’re wearing.”

“I too think that Caesar salad would work quite well too, but some have different tastes, you know?”

“You poor soul, has no one shown you the wonders of BB cream before?”

“Chocolate it is. I shall be off now!” Yixing abruptly turns away and begins moonwalking out of the room after making sure he is perfectly aligned with the doorway so as to avoid an unpleasant accident.

“It was nice speaking to you too.” Luhan turns back to his work (read; the set of origami cranes he is currently folding. He’s at number 69 now, and he can’t help but to snigger immaturely because that’s what all young, hormonal males do) for a few precious moments before deciding that he wants to go bug someone else.

He’s too lazy to cross over to the section of the building that has been delegated to EXO-K, Jongdae and Zitao are likely having a very hearty workout (here, his mind sniggers immaturely once again) and he has just finished a Very Important consultation with Yixing.

This leaves one option left, and one option only.

“Oh Baozi-hyung! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” he calls out in a would-be creepy voice as he heads to the end of the corridor and towards the room which is specifically reserved for the Big Bad Baozi Boss of Buffalo Law & Co... that is to say, a certain Kim Minseok.

However, Luhan likes to call him baozi due to his infamously poufy cheeks and all-around bun-like demeanour. It is rumoured that his cheeks can make even the most hard-hearted criminal melt down, more effective when hungry; the thought of those tantalizing meat-filled buns is more than enough to make criminals want to ‘fess up, if only to be fed with food.

Of course, Minseok would then join them in their eating endeavours. He does so appreciate a good snack.

“Go away Luhan-ah, I’m pretending you don’t exist.” Comes the reply that floats through the door.

The inexplicably adorable man blinks and almost considers turning away, before a tell-tale thud is heard and he lets out one of the most dramatic gasps in all of gasp history.

“Are you playing office soccer without me again?”

There’s a pause, before an answer. “Perhaps.”

“You !” Completely ignoring the fact that hey, you’re meant to respect your boss (not that he has been doing much in that department, what with regularly making an overall mess of the place and coming scarily close to legally changing the other’s name to something along the lines of Baozi the First), he kicks open the door to expose the elder man for whom he truly is.

“You arse of an !” he re-states, gaping at the mini soccer pitch Minseok has set up. His desk is pushed all the way again the wall opposite to the ridiculous floor-to-ceiling glass wall that overlooks the stunning view of the grey-hued city (which Jongdae has on many an occasion remarked that you can make so many puns with ‘shades of grey’ if only Minseok had not threatened to cut his wages). He takes in the scene before turning to send a full-blown glare (pout, more like it) towards the other man.

Minseok shrugs. “I have a huge- room to myself, what else do you expect me to do?”  

“Do work, maybe."

There's silence, before the two simultaneously burst out into loud, rambunctious laughter.

"Obviously, you’re meant to invite me in.” Luhan re-states, before pausing as the full implications of his sentence hit him. “Not like that. But if you’re planning a game of soccer, you better be prepared for my participation.”

The boss snorts. “Likely to happen only if you stop calling me Baozi.”

Silence envelopes the room as the two men stare each other down. It’s a battle between baozi and deer, food and animal, cooked and uncooked, adorable man and even more adorable man in the biased eyes of the numerous fangirls of Buffalo Law & Co. who enjoy camping out outside their building because they have no lives, or at least threw them away in favour of gossiping and other such nonsense.

“Haha. No.”

Minseok sighs.

“I suppose it was too much to ask. You up for a game of one on one?”

Luhan smirks. “Of course I am. You’re on, baozi.”

It’s time to start kicking some hardcore balls.

Not like that.

" Author's Report "

Inspirited -

Hey y'all. Sorry for the late update haha. School has started for the both of us, and it's getting harder for us to write since we have truckloads of homework. On top of that, I personally (for some odd reason) find crack hard to write. But, wow, we are blown away with the amount of subscribers we have gained just from a foreword. Thank you all for subbing, and please look forward to the next chapter <3

Chii -

Herpderp. Hello dears! This update is a day earlier then was originally expected, but it's because I'm a nice co-author who decided to finish a day before the set deadline from Inspirited. I'm so kind. In any case, we have both been utterly gobsmacked at the positive response we have received so far, and though I know our (my) humour is a bit... difficult to stomach, I do so hope you enjoy! Also, don't fret. EXO-K and EXO-M will not remain on opposite sides of the spectrum for long. They shall re-unite (into one perfect root--) soon!