“So, you lived in Seoul?” Zhou Mi asked that night as they were both lying in their beds. Their shopping trip had been both exhausting and successful, and Tao already saw Zhou Mi as an older brother-like friend. “What was that like?”

                “It was…” Tao trailed off. “It was okay, I guess. There were some really good things and some really bad things.”

                “What were the really good things?” Zhou Mi asked. Tao sighed.

                “They were the things that turned bad,” he replied. Zhou Mi didn’t say anything for a few minutes, and Tao almost thought he’d fallen asleep.

                “When did you break up with him?” Zhou Mi asked, startling Tao by both the sudden words and the content of his question.

                “What?” Tao asked, taken completely off-guard. Zhou Mi propped his head up in his bed and looked at Tao in the dim light.

                “I’ve always seen myself as a good judge of character,” Zhou Mi began. “And I’ve been through a fair few experiences myself, so I know how people react to certain things. And you are heartbroken. So when did you break up with him?”

                “H-how do you know it’s a him?” Tao said, accepting the fact that Zhou Mi had figured it all out.

                “Like I said, I’ve been through a fair few experiences myself,” Zhou Mi replied. “Now stop avoiding the question.”

                “Mid-march,” Tao sighed.

                “So that’s…two months ago,” Zhou Mi said.

                “Two months, twelve days, and—”

                “So you definitely still like him though,” Zhou Mi cut Tao off. Tao opened his mouth to deny it, but Zhou Mi just continued. “You’re counting the days since you broke up, and you’re moping around. So my next question is: why did he break up with you?”

                Tao bit his lip. He hadn’t felt so regretful in his entire life.

                “I broke up with him,” Tao whispered. Zhou Mi gasped, sitting up in his bed.

                “Why?” he cried.

                “I just…I thought he wasn’t what I wanted,” Tao explained, holding back tears. He’d told himself that he wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t cry. But instead of tears, words spilled out, and he couldn’t stop talking. “I started being cold to him at first, not letting him kiss me, just saying ‘I know’ when he told me he loved me, and then I started avoiding him altogether. I still don’t know why. I just—I mean, I thought I couldn’t stand to see him anymore, I thought I’d fallen out of love. He noticed, after a while. He asked me if everything was okay, and I laughed. I laughed. And he didn’t know what to make of that, I could tell. So finally I just ended it. I told him that we shouldn’t be doing ‘this’ anymore, and I told him…I told him that I felt like he was an obligation. He asked me why, tried to take my hand, but I just shook him off and told him I’d made my choice. And then I left the dorm. When I came back, he was acting like everything was normal. I…I didn’t expect that. And now he’s gone and I’m to blame for it and I miss him so much. So much.”

                “Oh, Tao,” Zhou Mi breathed. “Here, do you need a hug?”

                “No,” Tao said firmly. “I’m strong. I’m strong.” He closed his eyes, trying to center himself, but he knew it was a lie to say that he wasn’t a complete mess.

                “Tao,” Zhou Mi said softly, “I don’t know how much experience you’ve had with love, but when you feel like this about someone you broke up with two months ago, at the very least you’re missing closure. And at the very most, this person could be your soulmate, not that I’m trying to sound cheesy. It might have been easy to start your relationship, but—”

                “It wasn’t,” Tao said.

                “What?”

                “It wasn’t easy to start our relationship,” Tao explained. “It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. We endured a lot.”

                Zhou Mi was quiet for a few minutes again.

                “What’s his name?” he asked slowly.

                “Kris,” Tao said quietly. “Kris.”

                “Tell me about him. If you want,” Zhou Mi said, and Tao nodded. Once he’d started talking, he figured he just shouldn’t stop.

                “He’s tall, and strong, and really handsome. He’s good at languages, but I’m better than him at English. He doesn’t mind shopping when it’s with me, and he likes to swim. He taught me how to swim. He gets drunk easily and sometimes makes mistakes but he apologizes in a way that you can’t help but accept. He’s patient and gentle and really caring, and most of all, he’s the…the first…the first person who ever made me feel loved.”

                “Where is he now?” Zhou Mi asked, and Tao blinked his eyes, trying to push back the tears.

                “In China somewhere. But it’s a big country,” Tao said, trying to pull off a shrug but it didn’t work like he’d wanted it to.

                “When will you see him next?”

                “At the end of the summer, I guess,” Tao replied.

                “Do you want to call him?”

                “No,” Tao said reflexively. It was the same answer he’d always give to Luhan and Suho and Xiumin when they tried to get him to make up with Kris. “Anyway,” he sighed, “I don’t think he’d pick up the phone. Like I said, he acted like everything was normal, but it was different. He was cold. So I just kept avoiding him because otherwise he’d just say hi to me like I was one of the other roommates. Not someone he’d…loved.”

                “I hope this conversation isn’t going to keep you up tonight,” Zhou Mi said gingerly, and Tao shook his head even though he knew Zhou Mi couldn’t see him.

                “It won’t,” he lied. “No matter what’s on my mind, I always sleep like a rock.”

                “I’m glad,” Zhou Mi said, and Tao could hear the smile in his voice. “Goodnight, Tao.”

                “Goodnight, ge.”

                Tao didn’t even bother closing his eyes, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep properly anyway.

                He did want to call him. He wanted to hear Kris’s deep voice, telling Tao he loved him more than anything. But it was just out of the question. There was no way that Kris would pick up, and even if he did, Tao didn’t know what he would say. There was nothing he could say that would make everything better, because whether or not he wanted to accept it, he’d damaged their relationship beyond repair.

                A proverb entered his mind, and his childhood suddenly rushed back to him. He’d memorized hundreds of proverbs, but none had truly spoken to him until that moment.

                “Break the kettles and sink the boats,” he whispered. He’d never understood the meaning of that particular proverb, but suddenly everything was clear. He’d passed the point of no return. He couldn’t go back and forget everything. He’d broken the kettles, he’d sunk the boats. There was no going back.

                He wasn’t sure if that thought should make him at peace or just make him sadder.

                Tao didn’t notice when he fell asleep, but he awoke the next morning with tired eyes. He glanced over at Zhou Mi, who was still asleep in his bed as light streamed in the apartment window.

                Tao stood, ambling over to the bathroom to wash his face. Looking in the mirror, he saw that his eyes were puffy and red and that his cheeks were stained with tears. He sighed, hoping that washing his face would make it look like he hadn’t cried himself to sleep.

                He knew he had to clear his mind of all that, especially since he would start work at the bar that evening. He couldn’t afford to be burdened by his over-active emotions.

                “Tao?” Zhou Mi called. “We’re going down to the bar in half an hour. Is that enough time for you to get ready?”

                Tao stepped back into the bedroom and saw Zhou Mi already up and dressed. How a fashionista like him managed to get ready so fast, Tao had no clue.

                “I think that should be enough time,” Tao told him. “Thanks.”

                “Of course! I think you’ll make a good bartender,” Zhou Mi grinned his dazzling smile. “I’m going to make us some breakfast. Do you like fried rice?”

                Tao gave him a blank look, and Zhou Mi laughed.

                “Never mind, you’re Chinese. Of course you like fried rice!” he said, striding out of the room leaving Tao to get dressed.

                Somehow Tao didn’t care what he wore, really. During the past two months, he’d grown accustomed to wearing sweatpants because they allowed a greater range of movement while he practiced his wushu, but Suho had always said that sweatpants shouldn’t be worn outside the house.

                While Suho wasn’t there to scold him, Tao decided on jeans anyway, because that was what Zhou Mi had been wearing, and Tao figured that he should dress similarly if he wanted to fit in at the bar.

                He walked out into the kitchen after getting dressed and sort of combing his hair, and the smell of fried rice cooking made him suddenly realize just how hungry he was.

                “Oh, you’re ready! Great, the rice is almost done,” Zhou Mi smiled. “So, I was thinking that maybe we could celebrate you coming here this afternoon, before the bar opens. I’d invite a few of my friends and we could get a cake, maybe. Would you like that?”

                On the one hand, Tao didn’t exactly love meeting new people. But on the other…

                “Cake?” he asked. Zhou Mi chuckled.

                “Yeah, do you like cake?”

                “I love cake,” Tao replied.

                “So the little party is a yes, then?” Zhou Mi wondered, and Tao nodded shyly.

                “Excellent. We can go buy it after we do our training session this morning. It’ll be fun!” Zhou Mi exclaimed as he set out two bowls, filling them with rice and handing Tao a pair of chopsticks. “Tell me if the rice is good,” he said as Tao took a bite. “I’m a pretty good cook, if I do say so myself.”

                “It’s good,” Tao confirmed. Zhou Mi smiled at him as they ate. The phone rang and Zhou Mi went to pick it up, talking to someone called Calvin-gege. Tao sat silently, eating his rice. It was delicious, in fact, and he was happy that he got to stay with Zhou Mi instead of his uncle or his parents. God knows what he’d be eating with either of them.

                “Tao, that was Calvin-ge,” Zhou Mi said, taking Tao’s empty bowl and setting it next to the sink. He ate the rest of his rice quickly and put his own bowl inside Tao’s. “He’s coming to the party tonight! I think you’ll like him. He’s one of my best friends.”

                “Okay,” Tao said. Zhou Mi patted his back.

                “Ready to go downstairs? Geng-ge and Henry are already there. They’ll help me teach you the ropes.”

                “Ready as I’ll ever be,” Tao replied, and Tao thought he saw a flash of pity cross Zhou Mi’s face before that smile appeared again and he motioned for Tao to follow him downstairs.

                “It’s so nice working in the same building as you live in,” Zhou Mi explained. “Commute’s practically non-existent! It’s perfect for a lazy guy like me.”

                They made it down the stairs and Zhou Mi opened the door to the bar extravagantly.

                “We’re here!” he called, and a man with messy red hair that was black at the roots sauntered in.

                “Tao, this is Henry!” Zhou Mi introduced him. “Henry, here. This is Tao.”

                “Hey. Mimi told me a lot about you,” Henry smiled, reaching out his hand, which Tao shook cautiously. “He seemed really excited for you to come.”

                “I was!” Zhou Mi cried. “It’s lonely up there all by myself!”

                “Unless Calvin-ge c—” Henry began, but Zhou Mi elbowed him in the ribs. “Ow! What was that for?”

                “Do I hear fighting?” a voice said, and another man stepped into the bar.

                “No,” Zhou Mi said quickly. “Geng-ge, this is Tao! He’s the one who’s staying with me for the summer.”

               “Excellent,” Geng said. “Have you ever worked at a bar?”

               “No,” Tao replied.

               “You think you can deal with drunks?” Geng asked.

               “No,” Tao replied again, and Geng laughed.

               “At least you’re honest,” he smiled. “Nice to meet you. I think you’ll fit in pretty well here.” And Tao smiled, because he really hoped he would.

               Learning the ropes at the bar was a lot easier than he’d expected, and before long, they were back in Zhou Mi’s apartment. He didn’t realize just how tired he was until he felt his eyes drooping as he sat on his bed.

               He dreamt of mojitos and martinis and brioches, for some reason. He didn’t even remember what a brioche was, but somehow the word kept popping up in his head and he felt like it should be something significant.

                Tao awoke with a start. His phone was vibrating, and that hadn’t happened in a very long time. He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the screen.

               Kris, it read. He didn’t even have time to ponder the fact that he thought he’d deleted Kris’s number. He clicked the answer button right away, almost smashing the phone against his ear in excitement.

               “Hello?” he ventured, but there was no reply. His heartbeat slowed. “Hello?” he tried again, but the line had gone dead.

               It must have been the service. His Korean cellphone’s service was spotty in China anyway.

               Suddenly, it vibrated again, and Tao repeated the motions he’d made only seconds before. This time, instead of silence, he heard voices. He couldn’t make out what any of them were saying, but it sounded loud and Tao wondered where Kris might be.

               He ended the call, but the adrenaline was still rushing through his veins. He jumped up and bounded into the living room.

               “Zhou Mi-ge!” he cried. “He called me! It was by accident I think, but—” He noticed the large group of people sitting in the living room. Besides Zhou Mi, Henry and Geng were also there, and a few people Tao didn’t recognize.

               “Who called?” Henry asked. “Your boyfriend?”

               “Henry,” Zhou Mi hissed, and Tao blushed furiously. “Everyone, this is Tao.” They all welcomed him into the living room, and he sat down between Zhou Mi and Henry. “This is Calvin, Sean, Chao, Fei, and Jia.” Tao knew he’d never remember all their names.

               “Really, who called?” Henry asked, disregarding the introduction. “It was your boyfriend, right? The one that you broke up with without meaning to?”

               “You told them?” Tao asked Zhou Mi angrily. He narrowed his eyes and Zhou Mi cowered a little.

               “I’m sorry, it just kind of slipped out!” Zhou Mi apologized. “Really, it’s such a touching story and I’m a er for trying to fix things.”

               “There’s nothing to fix; it’s done,” Tao said quietly, but he was well aware that everyone was listening to him.

               “That’s why I was thinking that maybe we could try to find you a new guy,” Zhou Mi said slowly, watching Tao to evaluate his reaction.

               “A new guy?” Tao asked. He didn’t want a new guy. He wanted Kris. “No, thanks.”

               “Oh, come on,” Henry persisted. “It could be fun. You don’t have to get serious or anything, just meet someone. Who knows, maybe it’ll turn out well.”

               “I don’t know,” Tao pondered, but the tall guy that Tao seemed to remember as Calvin interrupted.

               “That’s how Mimi and I met,” Calvin offered. “He was working at the bar and I was a customer. We talked all night and I kept coming back because I had such a good time with him.”

               “Cute,” Geng gagged, but the two girls squealed audibly.

               “What I mean to say is that it could be good for you even if all you want is to just make friends,” Calvin said, glaring at Geng, who laughed.

               Tao had the inexplicable urge to be incredibly rude, but he thought better of it.

               “Fine,” he sighed. “If you see someone you think might be my type, you can point him out, but don’t expect me to be interested.”

               Zhou Mi and Henry cheered, and Tao sighed. He knew that he’d just gotten himself into a huge mess.

A/N: Yeah. Can you see where this is going?