You woke up feeling completely exhausted, you stretched and realize you weren’t in your bed, you open your eyes and think “What am I doing at Hye Yoon unnie’s room?” but then reality hit you, you just lost both of your parents and now where alone.

You felt tears coming down your eyes and a pain in your chest that felt like if your heart was about to break into a million pieces.

“God, why? What have I done that I keep losing the people that mean the world to me?” you think while hugging to your knees and started to feel that this pain was too much for you to handle.

“I should just lock it up, be gone and that will be it. I’m tired of always suffering, tired of being punished like this by life; I should just forget everything and be done with it. Every time I think things are finally starting to get better, I lose something or someone that means the world to me. Is not easy, I always have to lock down my feelings, I always endure my pain by myself, but this is too much, why do I have to keep getting hurt? Why is always me?”

While you were immersing in your thoughts, you didn’t hear the door being opened and someone approaching to the bed.

“Hi silly girl, did you get any rest?” Seung Hyun sulky sweet voice asked.

His voice snap you back from your thoughts and all you could do was break down in sobs again. Seung Hyun felt lost because it was so long since he had seeing you cried, in the whole time he had known you, you had only cried in front of him when you lost Nari and now this time, you were always used to lock everything inside of you, not wanting to worry anyone with your feelings. So he felt like he didn’t knew what to do,  he didn’t knew how to bring comfort to his poor friend’s heart, he simply grab you in his arms and let you cry for heavens know how long, he didn’t said a word, he just hold you and rub your back.

“It’s ok Sun Hi, its ok, you are not alone in this, remember that, you will never be alone, I will always remain by your side, I will always be your friend” he finally said.

Another person soon walk into the room, it was Seung Hyun’s mom with Hye Yoon unnie. “Seung Hyun-ah, go downstairs and eat something with the guys, we are going to help Sun Hi to shower and get ready ok?” she said in her sweet comforting voice.

But Seung Hyun wouldn’t let go, he was afraid his friend may go back to shutting herself. “Ommoni I want to stay with her, she needs me right now” he said holding even tighter to his still sobbing friend.

“Don’t be stubborn Seung Hyun, she needs to take a bath and so do you, we are having a long day ahead of ourselves, plus she is not going to be alone” his mom replied with a soft but commanding tone.

Seung Hyun reluctantly let go of his friend, but he knew his mom loved Sun Hi like she was her own daughter, so he left the room to go prepare.

“Sweetie, you need to shower, Hye Yoon already went to your house and brought you clean clothes and some of your things so you can get ready, after that you must go downstairs and have some breakfast” Seung Hyun ommoni said while helping you out of bed.

“Ommoni” you said, but you got chocked after saying that word and started crying again.

Seung Hyun’s mom embrace you and said “My dear Sun Hi, you know that for me you are like my child, don’t feel bad for calling me like you always do, I know that your beloved mom wouldn’t mind, because like her I would like my child to not feel sad for caring for the people that stand by her side” she said while giving you a warm smile and whipping away your tears.

“Ommoni, otoke? What am I going to do know? What should I do know? I don’t know that I should do or say or even feel” you said while tears kept streaming down your face.

“You will get ready, eat and will go to pay your respects to your parents. But most importantly, you will live my dear, because that’s what your parents would love to see you do, live and stay healthy, carrying them in your heart because they will never leave your side. It’s ok to cry, is ok to feel pain and grieve, after all it was a terrible thing that happen, but your parents are now resting, but you my dear, will forever continue with their legacy and the love they had for you will always live in your heart” she said.

You nodded to her, remembering that was the same answer your mom gave you when you ask her the same thing when Nari died. You walk into the bathroom and start the shower. “I guess what Seung Hyun’s ommoni said is right, mom, dad you will always live in my heart, I don’t know what I will do without having you by my side, but I promise you I will fight to figure out what to do” you said while closing your eyes and letting the water calm you down.

You finish your shower and saw that the funeral clothes had being placed on the bed. You sighed trying to hold back the tears that where pilling up in your eyes and touch the fabric of the clothes that you wish you will never had to wear, but finally started to get dress, knowing that the next 3 days where going to be extremely hard, but you had to fight against your inner demons, not letting go of yourself no matter how much you wanted to. You finish getting dressed and manage to walk downstairs without tripping in your black hanbok.

The sight that welcome you was a gloomy one, but seeing that everyone was there for you bring a little comfort to your heart. 5 smiling faces look at you when you made your way to the dining room.

“Guys you didn’t had to stay up, you all have jobs and classes to attend, you could have gone to the wake later” you said when you saw all your friends wearing their suits.

“Of course we had to, we are family Sun Hi-ah, jobs and studies can wait, but we won’t leave your side” Young Bae said while giving you one of his soft eyed smiles.

“Yes noona, don’t you worry, we didn’t even think of letting you doing this by yourself, we are all here for you” Seungri said.

“Plus we really loved and care for the parents of our beloved Sun Hi, so don’t worry about it,  today we will honor the life of your parents” Dae said while bringing you a plate for you to have breakfast.

Then you felt a hug from your back and hear your dear cousin’s words behind you “We are here, we are not leaving, we are one family my pretty saeng, don’t forget that, so please don’t leave”. Those words sink in your heart and you try to hold again your tears.

“Thank you, really guys, thank you… I don’t think I could make it through this without you being by my side” you said while a tear was rolling down your face.

“And not only they are here for you, I do too and I bet mom will also say the same” Hye Yoon unnie said while walking into the room “With us you will always have a family saeng, but now someone please give a seat to Sun Hi, so she can eat, we have a long day ahead of ourselves. And I won’t take no for excuses Sun Hi, you will eat whether you want it or not, you will need your strengths arasso?”

You simply nodded and took your seat and thank God for keep remind you that he had giving you angels as family to keep fighting in life.