t's been three months since the news of Nichkhun participating in WGM was announced. Three months since the members exploded in envy for his good fortune. Three months since Wooyoung starts to avoid him. Three months since Wooyoung's smile starts cease from that face. Nichkhun failed to expect just how fast Wooyoung seems to get over everything. It took exactly a month, thirteen days and two hours for Wooyoung to start smiling again, Nichkhun knows because he has been counting. It wasn't a grin or a full blown laughter, it was a slight and a slow growing smile that Nichkhun knew is going to lead to wider smiles.  However, unlike the other times he could take credit for the smile in the younger's face, this time he couldn't. 

Wooyoung looks fine, apart from being a little quieter than he usually is. He isn't as affected on this as I am, Nichkhun thought, and he started to think that maybe, this is God's gift to open his eyes. To see that maybe Wooyoung doesn't feel the same, that maybe all along it has been one-sided on his part. So slowly he started to grant Wooyoung the space he thought the boy deserved. Because maybe some things are worth the compromise. Maybe Nichkhun's sacrifice is finally worth it, even if Wooyoung is now smiling not because of him, and not to him. Even if Wooyoung avoids Khun like a plague. Even if it hurts him to try and ignore his presence when all he wants is to sit beside the smaller boy and ask how his day been. Because Khun is rather he is off smiling with others rather than seeing that flash of hurt whenever he is around.

But Nichkhun's intentions began to falter when he realized that the more he lets the younger drift away, the further he gets. Wooyoung got a little too clingy to Chansung, a little too comfortable to Junho, a little too cute to Taecyeon, a little too close to Junsu, and especially a little too distant to him. He expected the smaller boy to avoid him after what he's done, but he doesn't expect Wooyoung to start replacing what he shared with Khun with the other members. Seeing Wooyoung wrestling Chansung for that packet of dried mangoes, parts of Khun died a little inside. He thought back to all the times Wooyoung wrestles him for the tube of ice cream he had snatched off the younger boy when he thinks Wooyoung has eaten enough, and wondered if those moments didn't mean anything. Seeing Wooyoung beginning to ask Taecyeon questions from his English exercise books made Nichkhun thinks that maybe the times Wooyoung wake him up to ask English-related questions was meaningless afterall. Seeing Wooyoung happily accepting a piece of cake from Junho's fork reminded Nichkhun that maybe all the time he feeds Wooyoung meant nothing. That everything they had shared together was nothing more than brotherhood.

When Khun came back to a dark house that day, he stood still letting his eyes adjust to the darkness and didnt dare to move an inch, afraid to wake his band members, especially when he knew Wooyoung would most probably be sleeping in the living room. However he was quite suprised to see one bundle on the floor instead of the usual two. So he inched closer to the bundle of blankets on the floor to take a look and found Chansung's strong limbs around Wooyoung. His Wooyoung. Khun knows Chansung is famous for his unique sleeping habits, but he hasnt seen him pull this one ever before. Wooyoung's face is scrunched up and his hand is clutching on his pajamas front, and he looks really uncomfortable. So Nichkhun did the only thing he thought anyone else would. He slowly untangled Chansung's limbs around Wooyoung's and pushed the maknae slightly. To his advantage, the youngest shuffles and rolled to the opposite direction, so Wooyoung is now free from Chansung death grip. Nichkhun watched Wooyoung's face, expecting it to loosen up to his usual peaceful sleeping expression, but it didn't change.

Nichkhun grew weary, so he lifted the smaller boy on his arms and carried him to his room and settled him down on Chansung's bed. It was only when he turned his back against Wooyoung to change to his sleeping attire that Wooyoung stirred and sat up. What Nichkhun had failed to realize was that Wooyoung was awake the whole time, but had waited until they are on the safety of Nichkhun's bedroom before reacting.

"Why did you bring me here?" Wooyoung asked, with such ferocity that didn't allow for any small talk. Nichkhun turned around at the sound of the voice he misses so much.

"Oh, you're awake" He said gently, a smile slowly forming on his lips. "You look uncomfortable on the floor." He continued when Wooyoung failed to respond to his earlier remarks and just stared at him expecting for an answer.

"I'm fine. I'm used to it. I'm going back to sleep." He stood up and began walking across the room to the door.

"So now you couldn't even stand being in the same room as me?" Nichkhun asked, with such vulnerability he might as well wear his heart on his sleeve.

"What? hyung why-" Wooyoung halted his footsteps and turned back to face the older man.

"Does all of what we shared meant nothing to you? and since when did you start calling me hyung again? I said it to you before I don't like it when you call me that, it puts distance between us. Is that what you want?" Nichkhun cuts off, all the questions that he's been keeping inside for the past month rumbled through his lips, one after another, as if scared it would never see daylight.

"I-"

"Don't think for a moment that I didn't notice you avoiding me like a plague, busying yourself with the other guys when I'm around. You think I didnt realize?" He asked again, every question sounding more desperate than the previous.

Wooyoung stayed silent for a while, and only when he is sure Nichkhun has said all he need to say that he opened his mouth to answer.

"I didn't think you'd care..." His voice trailed off "You don't usually care whether I'm uncomfortable sleeping in the floor or not. Why start now?" He said, voice hushed but it was challenging to Nichkhun's ears. 

"What do you mean you don't think I'd care?" Nichkhun's tone of voice was starting to rise. If there is anything Wooyoung could falsely accuse him of, not caring is the most absurd one he ever came up with.

"Look hyung, it's late and we have an early schedule tomorrow, just let it go, ok?" Without waiting for an answer from the latter he turned around and resumed walking to the door, trying hard to avoid confrontation because he knew isn't ready for this. Wooyoung didn't think he has enough strength yet, not when his heart still hurts whenever Nichkhun is around.

"DO NOT ignore me and walk away like that." Nichkhun threatened, and when his threats are not responded, he resorted to grabbing the smaller boy by his wrist, and jerking towards himself it so he turns around. 

"I'm not letting you go before we solve this."

"If I said everything means nothing to me, will you let me go?" Desperation clung onto Wooyoung's words, but Nichkhun was too distracted to realize.

"Damn it Wooyoung!" String of curses in three languages rained out from Nichkhun's lips. By this time he had grown so frustated that he had grabbed Wooyoung by his pyjamas collar, so hard that two of the top buttons snapped open and Nichkhun notices the bruise forming on his chest. His gaze softens as his fingers grazed over the bruise, Wooyoung flinched and looked away, his hand slowly pulling his pyjama top.

"Wooyoung-ah, what happened?" He asked, when the silence lingers for too long, Nichkhun was determined to get his answers.

"Tell me what happened." Nichkhun prompted in a softer tone, lifting Wooyoung's chin up to look into his eyes. It was his sincere soft expression that finally broke Wooyoung, and he found himself lost in his eyes, and then everything spills out. Nichkhun always has this effect on Woyooung, and Wooyoung hates it. It makes him weak to not be able to hold himself steady and battle through this to the end. Even when he knows it's for Nichkhun's own good.

"It kept hurting... so I..." he stopped mid-sentence, as if to salvage the last bits of his own dignity.

"You keep hitting it to dull the pain" Nichkhun concluded, his face softens. Wooyoung looked down, visibly upset that Nichkhun could still read him like an open book.

"Oh Wooyoung..." A sigh escaped from Nichkhun's lips and he pulled the younger boy into his arms, his hand so easily cupped the back of Wooyoung's head. Wooyoung buried his face on Nichkhun's shoulder, Nichkhun feels him relaxing on his arms, and the words rolled off so much easier after that.

"Whenever you're around it hurts, but whenever you're not around, theres always this hollow feeling in my chest, like you've taken my heart with you. Now that I think about it, I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all. At least I know I still have a heart."

"Wooyoung-ah..."

"It's frustating Khun. It kept hurting. I tried to hate you. It seemed so much easier to just hate you and be upset and then get over it. It doesn't work. Then I tried to ignore you, then maybe I'll get used to it and not be affected when I see you smiling with that girl. But its hard, it hurts even more, I’m confused. This is hard.” Khun felt the younger boy shaking, his words melted right through into his shoulder.

"It doesn't have to be this hard Wooyoung-ah. Why didn't you tell me?" Nichkhun asked, rubbing comforting circles on Wooyoung's back.

"Because maybe, maybe you'll be much better with her. Maybe she could provide you things I couldn't. Maybe one day you really could walk with her hand in hand through the streets and just be happy." His voice muffles into the fabric of Khun's clothes.

"Hypothetically if..." Nichkhun pauses and loosens his hug over the boy to look closely at Wooyoung's face "if that day ever comes, will you really be able to let me go?"

"As long as you're happy, I think I can... if I try hard enough... maybe if..." Wooyoung rambled, trying to look anywhere but into Khun's eyes.

"Shhh. You silly boy. I can never be happy without you." Nichkhun interrupted, thumb grazing over Wooyoung's lips to silence him.

Wooyoung finally lifted his head to face Nichkhun, drinking in the view of Nichkhun's genuine expression. For that moment, there is no 2PM, there is no Victoria, the world stops moving and stays silent watching, and there is nothing else that matters but just Wooyoung and Nichkhun. 

After letting the comfortable silence lingers for a while, Nichkhun took the smaller boy's hand in his and looked straight into his eyes. 

"Wooyoung-ah, promise me, that whatever happens, no matter how hard, you will hold on to me and never let go. Because if you do, I dont know what else to hang on to."

"Khunnie.."

"Promise me?" He prompted again.

Wooyoung silently nodded, he know he couldn't promise Nichkhun the moon and the stars, or lavish and elegant lifestyle, or anything else that he knew that Khun deserves, but he was sure he can promise him at least this much. 

At his agreement, Nichkhun beamed amidst of the dimly lit room, and he took the smaller boy in his arms again. Wooyoung could feel the happiness that is radiating through Nichkhun's chest is slowly transferring its warmth to his, and then his heart feels whole again.

Maybe some things are worth the compromise. 

Because if there is anything in this world that Jang Wooyoung would be willing to sacrifice and compromise anything for, it is all encompassed in that one being that is Nichkhun Horvejkul.

 

FIN.

 

A/N: Sorry for taking so long, I somehow thought I have finished posting over here :O Next up will be a very short epilogue, which I will hopefully post in a few days. Thanks for reading <3