THE LAST WORD IN THE SONG – 2

 

 

The knock sounded on the door again and again when Jaejoong didn’t seem to pay attention to it. The house’s turning upside down as Jaejoong’s desperately looking for something at every place he can. But the buzzing bell ring and the continuous knocking sounded even louder that Jaejoong had no choice but to run and opened up the door first for his uninvited guest.

 

His dongsaeng; Junsu was standing outside along with someone else that Jaejoong didn’t recognized. But he couldn’t care less as he ran back inside and continued the search. He didn’t even spare his time to ask or to greet.

 

“Hyung…what took you soo…omo!” Junsu hang his jaw low; seeing the state of the house.

 

It’s so messy almost like its being robbed.

 

“Hyung…what are you doing?” Junsu started to pick up the pillows and arranged it back on the couch. He gathered all the magazines and put it back on the table. He eyes Jaejoong with a hard frown emerged on his forehead.

 

Jaejoong was down on four; crawling and peeking every space and gap underneath the furniture.

 

“Hyung?” Junsu called him again. Worry evidenced in his voice.

 

“I lost my ring, Junsu-ah…my wedding ring…can you help me finding it?”

 

“It’s still in your ring finger, Jaejoong hyung…” Junsu pointed down to Jaejoong’s hand.

 

“It’s not this one…I lost the one that belongs to Yunho. I wore it on my thumb but it slipped out just now…” Jaejoong wiped the sweat on his forehead with his sleeve; resting both of his hands on his hips while thinking at other possible place that he might have missed.

 

“You mean this one?”

 

Jaejoong’s eyes widened upon seeing the ring that’s in the guest’s hand.

 

“You found it!” Smiling brightly; Jaejoong skipped his steps and scrambled towards his side; snatching the ring from him and slipped back into his thumb.

 

“Where did you find it?”

 

“I found it here…” Jaejoong’s eyes trailed off; following where he’s pointing at. He pointed right at their wedding picture.

 

“I must have misplaced it…” Jaejoong bit onto his fingernail admitting it. He then grinned sheepishly. He turned around and looked at Junsu; finally giving his dongsaeng his full attention.

 

“What brings you here; Junsu-ah…?”

 

“I’m worried about you; hyung…so I thought I wanna spend sometimes here; accompanying you…”

 

Jaejoong knitted how brows together; looking at Junsu suspiciously.

 

“Yunho’s omma asked you to look after me; right…” Jaejoong guessed.

 

Junsu looked down to his feet.

 

“You wanna join me for lunch; Junsu-ah? I was about to eat when I realized about the ring…” Jaejoong marched across the living room heading straight to the dining table. Junsu followed him from the back.

 

“Do you have a company; hyung?” Junsu asked observing the table. Everything was arranged in pairs like it was reserved for two people.

 

“Ahh~ that…” Jaejoong scratched his temple with his finger. He let out a chuckle.

 

“I cooked for Yunho too…”  Jaejoong said it like it’s nothing wrong. Junsu didn’t know how to react to it. His heart sank.

 

“I have more in the kitchen…please take a seat…I’ll bring for you and your friend…” Jaejoong disappeared into the kitchen and came out with extra two plates for his guests.

 

“So who’s your friend here?” Jaejoong settled down back on his seat; flashing his smile to Junsu’s friend as he asked.

 

“He…he’s a doctor; hyung…” Junsu reluctantly introduced.

 

“A doctor?” Jaejoong blinked his eyes; nodded.

 

“wow… I never knew you’re dating a doctor…”

 

“He’s not my-”

 

“My name is Park Yoochun…” Yoochun butted in to stop Junsu from arguing it. Junsu questioned his action and Yoochun noticed that so he shook his head.

 

“Nice to meet you Park Yoochun-shi…thanks for helping me find my ring just now…” Jaejoong smiled at him like an innocent kid.

 

*****

 

While Jaejoong was in the kitchen doing the dish; Junsu took that opportunity to discuss his hyung’s problem with Yoochun.

 

“Shouldn’t we suppose to tell him the purpose of us coming here for?”

 

Yoochun took his time to answer. He had his eyes following Jaejoong’s movement in the kitchen.

 

“Take a look at him…watch him very carefully…” Yoochun demanded and Junsu did like he was asked to.

 

Jaejoong let the water to flow out freely from the tap into the sink but he’s not actually doing the dish. He was staring at the untouched plate that he prepared for Yunho. The teardrops fell down onto the plate one after another as he’s weeping silently.

 

Junsu palmed his mouth; finally realized it.

 

“He’s not crazy…and he’s not pretending to be crazy; Junsu-ah…he knew exactly what happened to him. He’s just in a state of denial and he’s doing it to protect his wounded heart. He’s building another world where Yunho-shi exists in it…” Yoochun explained to him after his brief evaluation.

 

*****

 

Lying sideway on the bed; Jaejoong’s tracing his hands on the empty cold spot next to him. A spot that used to have Yunho’s lying there. He still remembers the way Yunho’s looking at him when he woke up in the morning. The way Yunho’s big hand’s holding his own and the way Yunho’s hugging him to sleep at night; protectively.

 

And again; the tears rolled down as he reminisced the past.

 

“I’m so scared Yunho-ah…I’m so scared that one day I wakes up and no longer remember how you looks like.”

 

“I don’t want to move on because I’m so scared that I’ll forget you; forget all the things that we shared and our precious love…”

 

“I love you…”

 

“If only I could hear you say it again to me…say that you love me…” his lower lip trembled ominously.

 

*Flashback

It’s past 3 in the morning when Yunho sneaked into their bedroom. He was surprised to find that Jaejoong wasn’t sleeping yet; waiting for him.

 

“You’re not sleeping yet?” Yunho cautiously climbed up the bed; slipped into the blanket.

 

“I can’t sleep…” Jaejoong answered simply; pouted.

 

“Come here…” Yunho pulled Jaejoong closed to him; adjusting Jaejoong’s position by placing Jaejoong’s head on his broad chest.

 

Holding onto Jaejoong’s hand; he let Jaejoong snuggled even close to him. And just like that; he drifted fast to a dreamland.

*Flashback End

 

“I can’t sleep…” Jaejoong voiced out to the empty spot; like he was telling it to Yunho.

 

And then slowly; he changed his position like he was hugging Yunho. Sniffing; he closed his eyes to sleep accompanying by no one except the tears.

 

“Good night…” he whispered.

 

*****

 

Jaejoong awoke slowly from his sleep. He didn’t need a mirror to tell how swollen his eyes were. There’s even a fresh evidence on his pillow; wet spots because of the tears.

 

Turning around; he could see a full moon shone through the window. A glance on the clock on the wall told him that it was just past midnight. Jaejoong lay back on his comfy pillow; closed his eyes tightly attempting to sleep again. But his eyes felt unusually refreshed. He was wide awake and restless.

 

He sighed as he pushed the blanket aside and climbed out of the bed. Putting on the slipper; he padded across the bedroom and walked noiselessly along the hallway. Junsu’s probably asleep and he doesn’t wish to disturb him.

 

Yunho’s mini studio was located far at the end of the hallway; the rarest place his feet ever stepped on. Yes; Yunho do have his own studio here at home. It’s a must for every composer; he said. But he’s not using it much because Jaejoong hated it.

 

Leaning slightly on the door frame; Jaejoong switched on the light and the once dark room brightened up.

 

“I’ll be out in a minute”

 

Yunho’s voice echoed as another memory flashed before his eyes.

 

“Yunho-ah…I would do anything just to see you’re sitting there once again…”

 

Taking a deep breath; Jaejoong walked in and moved closer to the table. He ran his finger along the table before settled down on the seat. The brown envelope that kept Yunho’s last masterpieces was there on the table right before his eyes. And slowly he took it out.

 

His eyes landed on the last word in the song. The word ‘sarang’ in the unfinished song. That one word was enough to shake Jaejoong’s heart.

 

Jaejoong lifted his chin up as the tears threatened to fall down again and it rolled down nonetheless.

 

“Is this how it felt like when you’re writing a song; Yunho-ah?”

 

Brushing the tears with the back of his hand; Jaejoong put on the headphone and let himself submerge into his emotion. The unfamiliar melancholic tune led him to grab the pen and began writing on the sheet music; continued where Yunho left.

 

Just that one night; he will let out all the feelings; all the pains he bears inside…just that one night Jaejoong thought; he will pour out everything into that piece of paper – completing the song that Yunho couldn’t finish.

 

...

Sarang (my love), Sarang (my love)…

My love who abandoned me and left,

Sarang (my love), Sarang (my love),

I live within my memories and reminiscences,

You’re already my soul,

How would I live when you weren’t around?,

I ordered a cup of coffee for you too without me realizing it,

Doesn’t seems like what my heart feels,

It’s cold like the cold-hearted you,

I want to piece correctly the love puzzle that’s wrongly pieced,

I cry, and cry and cry again,

I love you, I love you,

My love who abandoned me and leave too,

I love you, I love you,

Even if live within those memories and reminiscences,

You’re already my soul,

How would I live when you weren’t around?,

Oh my love, where are you?

Oh, my love forever… Jung Yunho.

 

…

 

*****

“You want us to hang out together, today?” Junsu was surprised to hear it came out from Jaejoong. Somehow Jaejoong looked different to his eyes that day.

 

“Hmm…” Jaejoong nodded; a smile playing at the tip of his lips as he’s sipping onto his coffee.

 

“I got married early and it’s been a long time since the last time we spend our time together…” Jaejoong sounded pretty convincing and Junsu couldn’t just say no.

 

Junsu didn’t know what had happened last night but it seems like he’s talking to the old Jaejoong once again.

 

“So? What do you think?”

 

“Of course I’d love to!” Junsu cheered.

 

*****

 

They waited for the traffic light to turn green so that they can cross over the road. Junsu stood in front of him and he will look back once in a while; checking Jaejoong.

 

“Are you sure you can carry all those shopping bags by yourself?” Jaejoong asked Junsu; doubting it.

 

“Yes…they’re not that heavy…” Junsu insisted. Jaejoong chuckled; noticed the way Junsu’s fidgeting on the same place – showing how impatient he was.

 

Jaejoong then looked down to his feet and flicked his gaze at the wedding ring weighing on his thumb. He twirled the ring; playing with it when the light turned to green.

 

“Finally it’s green!” Junsu exhaled gruffly and walked ahead of him; crossing the zebra line.

 

Jaejoong was about to do the same when someone’s rushing from behind and accidentally bumped onto his shoulder. The ring slipped out of his hand and rolled down on the road because of the impact.

 

The panic plain on Jaejoong’s face when he dropped the ring. It’s really hard for him to look for it with the crowds blocking his way as they’re all rushing to get to the other side. So he waited.

 

He’s finally able to breathe when he spotted the ring and ran hastily to get it. Bending down; he picked it up and brushed the dirt off it.

 

“JAEJOONG HYUNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Junsu’s loud screaming alarmed everyone. The sound of the tire’s screeching followed with a loud bang.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Everyone’s screaming and gasped in horror.

 

The oxygen stuck right at Junsu’s throat as he’s staring at his hyung in apprehension. He dropped down the shopping bags and began sobbing.

 

The pool of blood created all around Jaejoong’s body.

 

*****

*Jaejoong's POV

Everything happened so fast that I don’t know what actually had happened. I heard Junsu’s voice screaming at me and the next thing I knew; I was lying down on the road.

 

My eyes blurred because of the tears. I’m crying? For what? I don’t feel a thing. Not even the pain. I held the ring tightly inside my palm.

 

“Jaejoongie…”

 

“Jaejoongie…”

 

“Jaejoongie…”

 

I recognized the voice.

 

Yunho?

 

His voice’s getting clearer by the minute. But I couldn’t see him. I was blinded by the bright light that I have to block it with my hand. I gasped when I saw the blood’s covering all over my hand.

 

“Y-yunho…” I’m having a trouble in breathing. A sharp pain pierced right at my chest when I’m gaping for the oxygen.

 

“Y…Yu…Yunho…” I’m losing my focus; it’s really hard for me to even keep my eyes open. Slowly I closed my eyes.

 

“Jaejoongie…” I heard Yunho’s voice calling for me again.

 

“Jaejoongie…don’t fight it…let it go…I’m here for you now…”

 

“You are here for me?” I opened up my eyes and saw Yunho knelt down next to me.

 

“Yunho?”

 

He flashed his bright smile at me.

 

“Yunho-ah…I love you…I really love you…” I watched as his lips quirked into a sweet smile – the smile that always captivating my heart.

 

“I know…I know Jae…and I love you too…” he leaned closer to plant a soft kiss on my forehead.

 

He sneaked his hand underneath my knee caps and lifted me up.

 

And right at that moment; everything flashed before my eyes and like puzzle pieces…one by one attached to each other perfectly – with Yunho in it. Every empty spot is being filled up by Yunho one after another.

 

------------------

Jaejoong put down the pen and viewed it when Yunho flung both of his arms around Jaejoong’s shoulders-hugging him from behind. He peeked on the content of sheet music that Jaejoong’s just finished writing from above his shoulder.

 

“You did a good job…” Yunho complimented.

 

“Really?” Jaejoong looked over to Yunho. Yunho nodded; affirming.

 

------------------

 

“I can’t sleep…” Jaejoong voiced out.

 

“Come…I’ll hug you to sleep…” Yunho pulled Jaejoong closed to him; hugging him dearly. He showered Jaejoong kisses started from his forehead then down to his nose and finally on his lips.

 

“Good night…” Jaejoong whispered. He smiled in satisfaction.

 

“Good night, my love…I love you…” Yunho replied in return.

 

------------------

 

Jaejoong put down the plates on the table. Yunho’s already there waiting eagerly while holding onto the chopsticks.

 

“Ahhh~ I’m so hungry…” He took a brief sniff first and started to dig in excitedly. His action earned a laugh from Jaejoong.

 

“Emmm~ it’s delicious!” He praised right away; protruding his lips asking for a reward. Jaejoong rewarded him with a kiss gladly.

 

------------------

 

The door unlocked when he pressed the button on his key. He opened up the door and immediately hopped on the passenger seat. His gaze flew to the driver seat. Yunho’s looking at him with a bright smile spread across his face.

 

“So…are we ready to go home?” Yunho asked.

 

“Eung!” Jaejoong answered with a hum and nodded childishly.

 

------------------

 

Jaejoong sat down on the coffee shop when the waiter came to assist him.

 

“Give me two cups of black coffee…” Jaejoong casually asked.

 

“Do you wanna us bring it here right away or wait until your friend come?”

 

Jaejoong blinked at him.

 

“For the other cup? Do you wanna us bring it here right away or wait until your friend come first?” the waiter repeated his question; wanna make sure.

 

Just then; Yunho walked in and jogged straight to his table.

 

“Sorry boo…took me sometimes to park the car…”

 

“Right away please…” Jaejoong answered the waiter’s question.

 

------------------

 

Shoving the key into the slot; Jaejoong hastily pushed the door widely and entered.

 

“Yunho-ah! Are you here?!!!” He ran and searched for Yunho in every room and every corner that he can.

 

“Yunho-ah!!! I’m here!!!”

 

“Yunho-ah!!!”

 

“Jaejoongie?”

 

Yunho walked out from the kitchen; holding onto a cup of ramen.

 

“Yunho-ah!!!” Jaejoong threw himself into Yunho’s embrace.

 

“Yunho-ah…I love you! Please don’t leave me…”

 

Yunho giggled. He was surprised by it; but a pleasant surprise.

 

“I’m not going anywhere…” Yunho replied the hug.

 

------------------

 

*******

 

“Hyung…Jaejoong hyung…” Junsu cradled the breathless Jaejoong in his hand.

 

“Hyung!!! Don’t leave me hyung!!! Please!” Junsu begged as he’s crying out loud.

 

*******