I stopped to believe in love.
The beloved one
Kibum's Pov
"Eli... Eli... Why can't I find something 'bout a guy named Eli?!" I screamed frustrated.
"Shhh!" The woman of the library made and placed her finger on her lips.
I could see that she was scanning my body after that she smirked and winked at me.
'Urg! How I hate woman!'
"Maybe I can help you... But I suggest that you first tell me what I get..." She said and slid her hands over my chest.
I needed all my strength that I didn't threw up, 'cause I really needed her help.
So I played her little game and smirked back.
"If you tell me your name beauty we can have a bit fun afterwards..." I whispered in her ear.
"Alright... So what do you want to find out?"
Woman... so simple...
"My ex is now banging some guy named Eli, I just wanted to now how I can sp-, I mean if he's a good person." I faked a smile that melted every heart.
"I ignore the rude beginning and go straight to the point. Maybe that's no real name, just to call him. I'm called Jessica but my real name's Jung Sooyeon..."
"That's great but how the hell am I suppose to get his real name?!"
"What's his name? Maybe I know him, I know quite a lot people." Jessica said with smirk.
Such a player!
Well, I wasn't different, besides that I wanted one current person right now...
But who can judge me?
He's hot as hell!
I smirked.
"Hey, I don't even know your name! How is this: First you tell me your name then the name of the person you search." She offered me a smile.
I flashed one back.
"Kibum imnida. (I'm Kibum.) And the name of the name of the guy I search is Eli."
Her smile turned into a glare.
"Yes, I know him... The first guy that send me away with the words 'sorry, I'm not interested.' I thought he's gay because of that, but... when he's dating your ex
now..."
I chuckled.
"He IS gay! My ex is a guy!"
Her expression changed from angry , to pale, to a smug.
"I knew no strange man could resist me!"
"Geurae... (That's right...)"
She smirked.
"I don't know his real name, but his last name. That should help. It's Kim. Kim Elison..."
I searched and found what I searched.
"His real name is Kim Kyoungjae..." I said with a smirk as I wrote down his address.
"Thanks miss Jung and now excuse me." I left her behind.
"Yah! (Hey!) Kibum!" She yelled after me, but I choose to ignore it, 'cause who the hell cares?!
"Aish... Turned all good men gay?" That should be the last time I heard from her.
Now all I'm interested in is the trouble Eli would get.
I guess I really turned into the devil.
~Flashback to time Kibum broke up with Soohyun~
"Soohyun... I'm breaking up with you..."
"What? B-But ... I thought you love! Why... Why now? Why now when I need you the most?" he sobbed.
"I love you." I said sadly.
"Then why?!" he shouted.
"I'm afraid... I hope you do well."
I left him alone, crying.
"I'm sorry, but I heard you're free again." A girl said.
I looked at her.
No doubt, she was beautiful...
But...
"Wanna be my boyfriend?"
"Andwae (no), mianhae... (I'm sorry...) naega... (I...)" I started but she interrupt me.
"I can wait a bot if you first want to forget you-" This time I shushed her.
"No, I won't date you. I don't love you."
Her smile faded.
"Fine! But you'll regret it!"
What the hell was wrong with this girl!?!
As I came home I knew what she meant.
She told my parents that I was gay.
But all they said was that it was okay.
So I'd dumped Soohyun without reason.
~End of Flashback~
I smiled bitterly.
It's all the fault of Soohyun's parents.
After I'd realized that I dumped the one I loved without reason, I was ashamed.
A boy found me and asked what was wrong and I told him everything.
He was so nice and I fell in love with him and we end up together.
But after we'd he left me.
I got played and I even saw him after that, using the same trick he used on me on an other boy.
That was when stopped to believe in love.
I took some random boy I just met home with me and ed him senseless.
The next days I repeated it with other boys.
I was a player and I knew it, but I liked it.
This way I wouldn't get hurt again.
I forgot how it is to love but that I once loved someone I couldn't forget.
Now, I wanted to him again, just to forget him.
But this stupid jerk had found himself a new love.
How I hate him!
Both!
Him and his stupid little boyfriend!
Kevin's POV
I never was so heart opened to someone before.
Just once and that time I got cheated on.
The one I trusted with all my heart hurt me the most.
That was the reason I decided not to let anybody in again.
Dongho was my childhood friend so I knew I could trust him.
But still he didn't knew everything.
He didn't knew why I'd rejected all those boys.
I thought my dream was just my wish to have someone by my side, by now I thought it was a sign.
A sign that I could trust this person and this person was no one else than Kiseop.
But also this I kept a secret from Dongho.
I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help it.
"Kevin?" Kiseop's sorrowful voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
I blinked.
"Nae? (Yes?)"
"You seem so... I don't know, so lost in thoughts? What's up?"
I smiled.
Yes, I could trust him.
He really was my everything.
"I really was just thinking." I replied.
Kiseop raised on eyebrow.
"About what?"
"... Just unimportant things, nothing to bother you with."
This time I had to fake my smile.
Though Kiseop didn't asked again, I knew that he didn't quiet believe me.
I felt horrible.
Didn't I, just a few seconds ago, believe in him?
Hadn't I told myself that I could trust him, that he's the one?
Now I kept a secret and I didn't like it.
But somehow a feeling in my stomach told me not to say something.
I knew the feeling.
It was exactly the one I had with my first crush.
But I still believed her and she was my girlfriend for an year.
Then I found out that she cheated on me right form the start.
I was heartbroken and swore myself to never again let something like this happen to me.
But it hurt.
The only thing I wanted, was to believe in Kiseop, to trust him with my heart and soul.
I couldn't.
I was weak, I was afraid.
I rather gave him the feeling of being not a person I could trust, than risking to suffer again.
My heart hurt, my mind judged me and I hated myself for being such a coward.
But I couldn't change it.
I just... could lie to him and hope that he wouldn't hate me.
'Love hurts.' It shoot through my mind.
That was right.
Nothing was harder to bear than a broken heart.
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