“I hear you made a fall in love with you.” Is definitely not something I want to hear from the good-for-nothing love god who started all this.

“D.O yah, you have definitely upped your game.” Byun Baekhyun, this bastard…  I swear he won’t make it out alive today.

“What does ‘up-ped your game’ means?” A timid voice says in broken Korean and I direct my death glare to the person lying on top of my couch, snuggling disgustingly around Baekhyun.

“You shut up.” I growl and Tao wraps his arms tighter around his boyfriend, hiding his stupid, Chinese face in the other idiot’s chest. Badass Timelord my …

“Don’t take it out on Tao!” Baekhyun has the nerve to snap at me. Because, apparently, he did nothing wrong and I ended up in this mess all on my own.

 Apparently.

“Then who should I take it out on? You and your cunning plans? Cause I can do that too.” And now that I think of it, “Where is my flying carpet? It was supposed to be my reward for doing your matchmake. Hand it over.”

Baekhyun shakes his head like a disappointed mother. “Now, now, don’t go making strange requests. You didn’t even finish my matchmake, do you expect me to give you Tao’s carpet just like that?”

Do you believe this guy? He bribed me to do his job and I agreed and now my life is ruined and I don’t even get the flying carpet in return. Unbelievable.

I rise from my gray armchair ominously.“You… I’m seriously going to punch you.” I declare. Because, seriously, I’m going to, seriously. Any minute now.

“I’d like to see you try.” Baekhyun snorts and Zitao raises a very provocative eyebrow towards my general vicinity.

“I can break both your legs, like twigs, in less than three seconds.” He says ,calmly, in his supposedly timid tone and I’m beginning to see where the ‘Badass’ part of his title came from. 

Baekhyun grins at Tao, patting his head in a ‘good job’ fashion and the younger guy does this weird sound that my innocent ears really didn’t need to hear.

This couple is scary. When I’m with them it always feels like we’re playing ‘good cop, bad cop’. The moment I get into an argument with them, it’s like I’m getting arrested. Baekhyun is the nice, cotton-candy cop who sweet talks your brains into a stupor and Zitao is the violent, Chinese mafia cop who beats the rest of you into submission. Really, I think there’s no escape for me.

I need new friends.

“So anyway,” My brown-haired, eyeliner-wearing partner continues unaffected.  “How’s it going with your ?”

I bite the insides of my mouth to keep from cursing and fall back down on the chair in defeat. “I’m not dating Jongin. In fact, I don’t even want to date him. I’m just looking after him till the effects of the arrow wear off. No dating involved.”

Which is the right thing to do and it seems like I’m the only one who thinks so, but it still is the right thing to do, so I’m sticking to it.  Not dating Jongin, that is.

“Um, why? Did the arrow not work?” I should have punched Baekhyun, ten minutes ago, when Tao was in the bathroom fixing his hair. Sure, Badass Timelord would have kicked my to next century (literally, I’m afraid) , but at least I would have taken revenge on Baekhyun first. It would have been so worth it.

“Yeah, the only reason I’m not all over the kid right now is because my bloody arrows didn’t work. Not because Jongin is a minor and dating him is… oh I don’t know… illegal.”

Baekhyun laughs at my expense and Tao looks thoughtful; probably busy translating everything to Chinese in his head.

“Did the arrow really not work?” He finally asks in all seriousness.

“No. Zitao. That was sarcasm.” I thought sarcasm was internationally appreciated. Do Chinese people not speak sarcasm? Wait, was that racist?

“I don’t understand. What is sarc-asm?”

“Tao, baby, sarcasm is when you say something that you don’t mean as a joke.” Baekhyun supplies ever so helpfully.

“Is that like when D.O. said he doesn’t want to date his ? Was that sarc-asm too?” Tao questions and Baekhyun makes an excited squealing noise, throttling his boyfriend in a hug. It seems like clueless, semi-offensive questions really make a guy look irresistible in Baekhyun’s eyes. Go figure.

“Baekhyun, why does your boyfriend know how to say ‘twigs’ and ‘’ in Korean but has no clue what ‘sarcasm’ means?” I mean, it’s kind of unnerving. Reminds me of my grandpa who loved Japanese yakuza movies and only knew how to say ‘you bastard’ and ‘stick ‘em up’ in Japanese.

“Tao learns by using the words.” Baekhyun points out.

“In what context would he use-” Baekhyun giggles and I close my mouth immediately. “Nevermind.” After all, I guess I’m better off not knowing the details.

I hear a distracting noise –my ringtone, ‘incoming call, incoming call!’- and Zitao shuffles to fish my cell phone from where it’s lying on the couch, getting crashed by Baekhyun’s entire body weight. “D.O. your phone rings.” He announces magnanimously and I roll my eyes.

I grab the phone just as the Chinese Timelord makes inquiries about the caller named ‘Crong’ and whether it is a real Korean name or just a cartoon character name. As it seems, Tao’s education includes Pororo as well.

I repeat, go figure.

Baekhyun is trying to explain what ‘nickname’ means as I press the green button on the phone and groan simultaneously. “What?”

Jongin’s voice comes ruffled from the phone and he is probably out in the street, because there are horns screeching near him. “Hyung! Come quickly. There’s a huge problem.”

Now… let me think about it. “Last time you called about an emergency, you were just bored and wanted to hang out.” And for some reason, I suspect this is something Jongin does as a rule. Like the boy who cried wolf, or whatever.

“Hyung, no. It’s serious this time. I need your help.” Jongin must be anxious. I can tell, because it’s one of those times he sounds like an adult. That young and playful undertone is gone from his voice and now all I hear is worry and weariness. It’s not a tone that I like on him.

“Okay, I’m coming. Stay right where you are.” Aish, this better be good. “And actually… where are you?”

I put my jacket on while Jongin mutters some street near Naksan Park. It’s already eleven in the night what the hell is this guy doing out this late? Playing around? I mean I knew highschoolers these days like to go out a lot and do grown-ups things, but I kind of figured Jongin would be the serious type who goes to school and then dance practice and then home straight away.

But… he’s never said anything about his lifestyle, or his hobbies (whatever that includes), so why did I assume something like that?

I’m not sure myself.

I guess I ended up liking him too fast. I liked him without a reason. So now I have to make up some excuse why I feel so keen on being around him.

I like him because he’s more serious than kids his age; I like him because he’s innocent and cute; I like him because he is always curious about me. But in the end, the truth is, I like him because I just do. Because if the reason I fell for him is an arrow stuck in my chest, then how can there be logic to love?

Have I mentioned how I hate love?

“I’m going out for a second. Jongin needs… something. Food’s in the oven, go ahead and eat without me.” I tell Baekhyun and unlock the door.

The last thing I hear before the door thuds behind me is Tao laughing and calling out “Whipped!” in broken Korean. What is Baekhyun teaching him anyway?

After twenty minutes in the late-night traffic, I pull over next to one of the exits of Naksan Park and look around for Jongin.

Sure enough, there he is, across the street looking like the male protagonist of a shoujo manga. He is sitting on the pavement, hoodie falling off his right shoulder, backpack forgotten behind him and he’s holding a small animal in his hands; a kitten.

“What happened?” I ask first thing and Jongin looks up at me with dark circles and a dazed smile on his face.

“This guy,” The boy motions at the dark brown kitten on his lap, “was standing in the middle of the road and almost got run over.”

I run a hand through my hair.  “Are you starring in a drama or something? Who runs in the middle of the traffic to save a cat?” What would I do if you got injured instead; I almost say. But I stop myself, cause this sounds weird even in my head.

I give him a small kick on the side of his left leg as punishment. “Don’t do that again. Idiot.”

And now he seems even more dazed. “O-Oh… Okay. Yeah. I won’t.” He pouts and well, at least the childishness is back in his voice.

“And now that I think of it, how is this ‘a huge problem’?” He baited me here with lies again. “You lied again, didn’t you? In order to get me here.”

At least Jongin has the decency to look ashamed at this. “Only a little.” He admits in a small voice. “But I really do need your help, D.O. hyungnim!”

“Being respectful and calling me ‘hyungnim’ after making me come outside in the middle of the night won’t work. So just spit it out, what do you want?” He’s already got me running after him like some lovesick idiot, so I might as well.

“I need someone to take care of the kitten. This guy,” he pats the cat’s dark fur, “can’t live with me. There’s no space in my house.”

Of course. Now there’s a cat too. I already have a puppy called Crong and now I’m supposed to look after the cat too. Why is this happening to me?

I thought my unsociable behavior, my hatred towards love and my general insensitivity would ward people (and animals) off. Jongin doesn’t seem to notice, though. Or he just doesn’t care. He doesn’t mind my shouting and nagging and glaring and threatening and swearing and-

 Well… I have a bad temper, ok?

He doesn’t mind any of that, though.

“Even if I wanted to take in a cat –which, mind you, I don’t- it’s impossible. I’m allergic.”It’s true. I’m already getting itchy all over, just by looking at the cat.

“Oh. But, what should I do? I can’t abandon it here after I’ve saved it.” Now Jongin is doing what he does best, which is biting his lower lip and looking lost and adorable at the same time. He doesn’t seem to understand just how distressed this look makes me and idly continues to do it.

“Give it for adoption then. Maybe one of your friends would like to keep it. Don’t you have a very naïve…” What was the name again? “Taemin hyung was it? He could adopt the cat.” Let the fated lover take responsibility for the pets. I am only temporary staff, so why should I go through all this trouble?

“Taemin hyung lives at a dorm where they don’t allow pets. And all my other friends are preparing for exams and are too busy to look after it. Doesn’t D.O. hyung know anyone who could adopt this guy?” The cat blinks up at me with silver-blue eyes and Jongin blinks as well and it’s becoming more and more difficult to scowl and say ‘no’ to the two of them.

“Please, hyung. Can’t you do this for me?” He almost pleads and I feel this sharp jolt in my chest, which always acts up when I’m around Jongin. One moment, I’m perfectly fine, being my customary bossy self and the next, I want to crawl somewhere and cry because it hurts. I’m suddenly in pain and it’s making me vulnerable, like a little kid that hurt his knee and needs somebody blow at it and kiss it better.

Jongin with his innocent pleading look has become, I think, the rock that tore my knee and the only person who can kiss it better.

Is love like that? It looks more like a huge mess to me.

And he’s still blinking at me and so is the cat and I feel defeated.  

Which is why, the next morning, I am putting ‘do u wanna adopt this cat?’ posters on the front door of the Headquarters. And then inside the main elevator and on the wall near the bathrooms.

I am in the middle of cutting duct tape with my teeth outside the door of the rooftop, when I feel eyes on my back. So I do the only sensible thing and shriek for help while dropping an adoption poster on the floor. 

“, you scared me!” I shout, because, hell, who sneaks up on others like this?

A confused-looking guy – Lay?-  eyes the poster, with critical eyes and an expression saying that the mere existence of cats is extremely perplexing to him.

“Is there a… cat?” He questions almost bewildered.

“Yes. A friend of mine saved it from the streets and now we’re looking for someone to adopt it.” I explain slowly and clearly, praying that he understands. He can’t be that stupid, right?

The Lay guy leans over my shoulder, conspiratorially and says in a serious tone, “Will it eat the mice?” as if the answer to this question will determine the future of humanity.

“Erm… why?” I try to shrug him off, awkwardly. “Do you have mice at your house Lay-sshi?”

“Nope.” He deadpans in a slightly foreign accent that reminds me of Tao and zombies in Chinese thrillers.

“That’s great then.” I nod enthusiastically. “So you can just adopt the cat and feed it normal cat food, instead of mice.” Come on, come on, say yes!

“I have to feed it? Really?” Lay tilts his head to the side. “How often? Once a month? Or… twice?”

Ok… I guess not.

Giving the cat to Lay? Baaad idea. “Ah, nevermind, Lay-sshi. I wouldn’t want to burden you with a cat. It’s too much responsibility.”

I open the door and push the weird hyung in the rooftop. Maybe I’m heartless, but even I wouldn’t let a cat starve to death.

“Are you giving your cat away?” A happy voice rings in my ears as the ‘Couple of Troublemakers’ (as Chen calls them)comes into view.

The shorter one, Minseok hyung, is smiling up at the photo of the cat with interest, whereas the taller, Luhan hyung, is toying with a rubik’s cube and hasn’t even realize I am standing in front of him.

“Oh no,” I focus back on Minseok hyung who’s talking. “My friend found it. The cat is at his house right now, but he can’t keep it.”

The short, puffy-cheeked hyung sighs in understanding and I begin to think that he could make a great owner for that dirty, annoying cat. Somehow, Minseok hyung seems to have a lot of patience and love for the most bothersome creatures. Like, say, a blonde, baby-faced prankster, a voice provides in my head.

“Would you like to adopt it? What do you say?” I suggest, forcing myself not to grab the cute guy’s arm and shake him into agreeing.

“Can’t. No way.” Luhan hyung shakes his head and the colorful cap he’s wearing almost falls off before the other hyung catches and steadies it back in place. “If the animal bites one of the wires, or breaks the equipment, the whole operation might be at risk.”

What now?

“W-What operation? And why is Luhan hyung answering about Minseok hyung’s house? And what operation?” Why is there an operation?

Luhan hyung gives me a half-smirk and goes back to his rubik’s cube while the shorter hyung apologizes because they can’t adopt the cat. He explains that he and Luhan hyung have been roommates ever since Luhan hyung moved to Korea. “And, you see, Luhannie is kind of a… an inventor. Right! An inventor. That’s why we have a lot of dangerous things at our place.”

A mad-scientist, going around and blowing up , that’s what he is. “Yeah, I get it. I’ll find someone else.”

Which is exactly what I fail to do for the next six hours of work.

It’s past noon now and I’m starting to worry about my social skills. And by social skills, I mean yelling and threatening someone into doing what I want. Apparently, no matter how much you glare and annoy Sehun his only answer will be, ‘Hyung needs to shut up so that I can rest a bit’. I think I’ve never been ignored so rudely in my whole life. And that includes Jongin, who, at least, pays some attention to my face when he speaks to me.

“Isn’t there anyone in here who can raise a cat without starving it to death, or electrocuting it?” I whine at Chen, as sit on the rooftop, preparing to shoot a couple of bypassers.

“Now, now, you’re not being fair.” He nudges me. “Sehun wouldn’t electrocute the cat. He’d probably sleep on it. And I bet Chanyeol would talk to it so much that the cat would just choose commit suicide. But he wouldn’t starve it to death.”

Yeah how did I not think about that?

“These scenarios actually make a lot of sense.” I can almost see them happening. It’s really unsettling.

“What about you, though? Would you be interested?” I mean, realistically, and only by comparison, Chen is the safest option. Unless of course you are Suho, in which case you are likely to be hunt down to the depths of hell and be ually harassed day in day out. Regardless, Chen is not a bad candidate.

“No. Sorry, I don’t share.” He gives me a Cheshire smile and shoots at the street blindly.

“What are you talking about?” I roll my eyes. “It’s a cat, not a rival.”

“If it can take up my favorite spot on the couch, it’s a rival.” The bespectacled guy insists with a superior look, because I’m the one being unreasonably here.

I prepare to press the matter a bit more, maybe threaten him that I will start flirting with his Myunmyun hyung if he doesn’t adopt my cat, but then it hits me.

Of course Chen doesn’t want a cat. Chen with his sharp, feline features, his Cheshire smile and his habit of almost purring around Suho would definitely dislike another cat under the same roof. There’s no way he’d let anyone step a foot inside his cave. It’s weird, yet I can almost see him, sitting on top of his couch, like he’s king of the world, drinking hot milk and planning his next attack on Suho.

Yeah, I guess you can’t let a cat adopt another cat.

I close my eyes, take a breath and release the arrow from my bow. I’m about to check where it landed, when I feel a soft pat on my shoulder. Meanwhile Chen has already left his post next to me and is koala-hugging the Team Leader, in a deeply disturbing manner. I’m almost sure he’s touching somewhere he’s not supposed to touch, but I’d rather not delve into it. Ew.

 “I would like to- ugh, please get off Chen- I’d like to adopt your kitten.” Suho manages a reassuring smile as he struggles away from his stalker.

“Really?!” Bingo. Literally the best person to take the cat. Suho is a pushover. He’ll probably spoil the cat sick. He’ll feed it more than it needs and take it to the vet once a month for check-ups and let it sleep on his pillow and allow it to do a ton of things that pets are not allowed to do.

Jongin will be so happy when he hears that I already found a family for his cat. He’s probably gonna call me hyungnim and koala-hug me like Chen (but without copping a feel), laugh and say something cute and at the same time meaningful.

I-It’s not like I’m looking forward to that, or whatever. Just. I’m pretty sure it will happen. It’s a prediction, not an expectation.

Exactly.

“Yes, really.” Suho dazzles me with a smile and I shake his hand.

“It’s settled then. I’ll bring the cat tomorrow.” Jongin will be so psyched about it.

On the other hand, Chen looks practically livid as he hisses, “How can you do this to me?”

“What did I” …do?

“How can you let Myunmyun adopt your stupid, freaking animal?” Chen’s front teeth are showing every time he swears and he really resembles a wild cat.

“He asked me and I agreed. That’s how.” I don’t have time for his stupid possessive tirade, I need to call Jongin and tell him the good news.

“Damn it D.O., I told you I don’t share!” He screeches.

“Yeah, well, I really don’t care about that.” I stick my tongue out at him. “Plus, look at it positively.” I unlock my phone and start calling. “At least Suho likes cats.”  

A/N: Man, I'm terribly sorry for the delay. This summer was crazy (mostly in a good way) and I'm so tired~ ~

I have not stopped writing any of my stories, so as long as you're willing to wait a tiny bit, I'll update everything.

Thank you so much for subscribing and commenting. 

Seriously, some days I'm just so beaten up and I don't feel like writing, but when I see a new comment I get so pumped up! 

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