Unrequited love…

I cannot believe he just went there.

It’s almost like he actually takes time off his life to think of ways to piss me off. I swear.

What about unrequited love?!

“Well, what about it?” I snap, anger flaring up inside me.  Now, I don’t get easily frustrated -alright, maybe I do- but this situation, right here, is really testing my patience.

“Well, since Love Gods take such good care of people’s hearts and make sure everyone finds the person fated to be with, I was wondering…” Shoelace guy seems completely out of his depth as he keeps nibbling the bloody spot on his lips thoughtfully.

“I- ugh… I just wanted to know why, sometimes, people fall in love… without being loved back...” He takes a sip off a cola and then frowns, angrily discarding the glass on the table. I feel like a complete idiot for bothering to buy him that cola.

What an ungrateful brat!

“I only work with fated lovers. Don’t ask me about Strays and meaningless things like that.” With a dismissive move, I brush off his question, hoping that he forgets all about it.

Aish, I want to quit. This job does not pay me well enough for all the stress it puts me through. I need some anti-anxiety pills. Or license to kill, like 007.

It’d be so much better if I were a spy. I should be a spy…

“What are ‘Strays’?” He questions and I notice my slip.

In retrospect, perhaps I should avoid the secret services. With my inability to keep a secret, I would probably get someone killed, if I were a spy. Or I would start a war. Or both.

I think both.

Meanwhile, Jongin just stares at me, expectantly, those curious eyes of his giving me goosebumps and making me uncomfortable.

Have I mentioned how much I hate love?

“Strays…” Really, I don’t see why I need to explain this to him. Strays are stupid and useless anyway. Just like the work they do.

“Strays are none of your concern.” I finish with a dismissive wave.

And he’s supposed to drop the subject and finally act like a quiet little boy in front of his hyung, but of course, he doesn’t. 

“But, I want-” He opens his distracting lips to whine at me some more. Yet I act quickly, for once, and stop him before he earns himself a good beating.

“Look, kid. I was kind enough to explain the details to you. Now be good and stop talking.” I down another shot of soju and test my voice to make sure it’s strong and bold enough. “Got it?”

I must have sounded pretty intimidating, because Shoelace guy draws in a breath and backs on his chair, as far away from me as possible.

After two whole bottles of soju (which should have made me a little less aware of the mess around me, but failed terribly) I can still hear him sulking across the table`, mumbling and grunting annoyingly.

I pretend to be very interested in the plastic tablecloth under my fingers, even though it’s just blue and really boring and the only thing on my mind is the boy’s plump lips.

Plump?

I resist the urge to gag. Who says ‘plump’ about a guy’s freaking lips? 

If I have these kinds of thoughts right after I got shot with the arrow, what’s going to happen to me when the infatuation intensifies later on? This stupid guy will probably get out of it tomorrow and forget it all, whereas I will have to remember everything, since correction arrows don’t work on a Love God.

A Love God in love. Apparently.

! It’s so embarrassing. I don’t need this right now. This stomach clutching, blush-inducing feeling has to stop, before it drives me completely crazy.

I don’t need this now!

“Hyung…” I sense a soft touch of something grazing my shoulder. “I’m sorry, D.O. hyung. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Huh?” I venture a glance at the tanned and long hand on my shoulder, a distinct wrist and pretty, long fingers with nice nails. My eyes are trying to drink up every detail, thirsty to memorize everything and flood my mind with the images. Yep, definitely attractive. The more I stare at it, the more my throat dries and my heart beats faster.

Perfect…

“You seemed really troubled because I asked about those… ‘Strays’. So, I’ll apologize… I’m sorry, hyung!” The dark-skinned dancer looks seriously remorseful and only half worried about my sanity, as he nudges me out of a panic attack and possibly into one.

All of this is somewhat tragic.

So I end up laughing.

“Never mind the Strays. This whole day is driving me crazy. No. It’s my whole life, really.” Jongin’s hand falls from my shoulder and I force myself to keep talking, for fear that I might in fact miss the contact.

“I suppose I shouldn’t act so offended, when it was all my fault and I got you involved as well. But, like I said, you don’t need to worry. The people in the Love Headquarters will fix everything tomorrow. Just go home, sleep and…” Actually, there are a few things to take care of, before leaving.

“First of all, give me your phone number.” I take out my phone and wait for him to speak. Which thankfully he does, without many threats.

“Ok. All set.” I type ‘Crong’ as the contact name and hide a smirk at the joke.

“Tomorrow is Saturday so I’m guessing you don’t have school. Let’s meet outside of your dance studio at 10:00. Are you good with that?”

Jongin nods slowly and I pull myself up with a sigh.

“I’ll take you back home now. Since I practically kidnapped you.” I think, I’ve officially become a criminal for a flimsy wage and a couple sculptures of myself, peeing in a fountain.

Seriously, I’ve done it this time.

But at least that was part of my fate. I was meant to be like this.

Jongin, on the other hand, could have been enjoying his first love right now, if it weren’t for me. He could have been dancing and exchanging sappy looks with his simple-minded hyung, instead of getting yelled at by an aggressive Love God who hates his job.

I’m half way on my motorbike, when the tanned boy nudges my shoulder in the same distracting way that he did back in the restaurant.

“You shouldn’t drive D.O. hyung. You drank a lot of soju.” He points out, staring at me solemnly.

Ugh… Right. I guess I did.

The last thing I need today is a motorbike accident.

“You’ve got a point, but how am I going to take you home?” This is so frustrating. That douchebag Baekhyun is probably having a hot date right now and I’m stuck in Ogeum-dong with a minor I shot and then kidnapped.

Plus I’m clearly half-drunk. 

 “Don’t worry about me, hyung. I’ll take the bus back to the dance school, pack my things and return home on my own.” Meanwhile, Jongin is awkwardly pulling the ends of my hoodie’s sleeves to cover his arms. The sleeves roll back up, though, and his serious expression gives way to a childlike frown.

He just had to look cute.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright? It’s getting dark.” I clear my throat and point at the sky to divert his attention from my burning face.

“I always walk home. It’s no big deal.” He assures managing an only partly forced smile.

This doesn’t make me feel any better. Then again, a parade of unicorns and flying pigs wouldn’t improve my mood right now.

So it’s no surprise, really.

“Tomorrow, out of the dance studio at 10:00!” I call after him. “Don’t run away!”

He has started moving away, and then, suddenly, Jongin turns around with a real grin. “How can I run away, when D.O. hyung shot me over here?”

With fingers touching the fabric of my hoodie over his chest, he finally leaves for good. And I’m just standing there, trying not to feel excited about a pair of teasing brown eyes.

I don’t even bother calling Baekhyun to scream at his face again. I just drag my feet and my stupid motorbike back home, through the cold.

I fish for the keys and push the door open with a groan.

My back is hurting and I’m going to have a headache tomorrow morning and I was supposed to water the plants today.

Despite that, Jongin’s final words are the only thing I see in front of me. My love-infested mind doesn’t even have the decency to worry about the circumstances.

I knew love was stupid and burdensome.

One bath, two aspirins and three drowned cactuses later, I’m still thinking about strange things like tanned skin and full lips.

I go to bed with a new headache, waking up the next morning, grumpy and late for my meeting with Jongin.

“That’s it! I’m running over your monster with my bike, dude.” I shout, hitting the corn of the motorbike a little too hard to make the driver of a silver minivan step on it.

Fifteen minutes later, when I reach the dance academy, surprisingly intact, I find him sitting on a small staircase in front of the building’s main entrance, fiddling a baseball cap in his hands.

“Hey. Sorry. Traffic was horrible.” I huff and something tightens inside of me when he looks up and I see his eyes sparkling.

 Does he really need to show such a happy face so early in the morning?

No one cares about my mental health these days…

“It’s okay, hyung. Good morning.” The tanned boy runs towards me and again I feel like I have adopted a very energetic pet.

 “Well, yeah. Let’s go then.” I gulp down a mix of embarrassment and excitement and motion for him to get on the motorbike.

Nodding, he lands at the back of the bike and squirms a little to adjust on the terrifyingly small space.  With his arms wrapping around me and his entire front pressing on my back, I’m starting to think back on Huang Zitao’s flying carpet with great fondness.

If I had a flying carpet I wouldn’t have to go through all this… this contact. To put it nicely.

“Yah, don’t stand so close. If you keep touching me, I’ll really turn you into Crong!” I growl shaking a little to get rid of his hands.

A soft apology comes from behind me (he doesn’t even question whether I can turn him into Crong anymore) and I let out a desperate breath.

“Neverm-” Halfway through the sentence I feel the pressure on my waist disappearing and notice his hands retreating. He’s wearing my hoodie again and the sleeves don’t even go down to his wrists -which is probably why his fingers look almost purple at the moment- so I decide to show a little pity.

“Just put your hands in my pockets.” Just so that he doesn’t freeze off on my bike, I assure myself.

Just for that.

Okay, I need to focus on something else right now. Stop thinking about the body moving near me and the hands that are shuffling in my pockets.

Think of something else…

Like, say, Head Cupid, throttling me with the string of his bow. Yeah. That’s a good distraction. Note the irony.

Honestly, you’d expect Cupids to be really polite, full of love and rainbows. But, love is just business. And since pretty much everyone falls in love, it’s a really huge enterprise.

Everyone imagines that their love is planned in a temple up in the clouds, where fairies are flying around and women with long, blonde hair are playing the harp.

In reality, love is planned by some mysterious Higher-Ups and a semi-psychotic Head Cupid who enjoys skinship and sarcasm a little too much. As for the Seoul Love Headquarters, they are conveniently located in Yangjae-dong, only two blocks from a very good ramyun shop called ‘Banya Ramen’.

From the outside, it looks like a business building with a big front door and a small parking space. Nothing different from the headquarters of the successful clothes’ business next to us. In the inside, our Headquarters are pretty standard too. Except for the big ball with the small lights in the middle of the hall (it’s supposed to be a miniature globe, but seems more like a disco ball to me) and the small arrow-making factory at the basement.

I sigh as I take a turn left and the building I was thinking about materializes in front of me.

“We’re here.” I mutter, parking my bike in a corner and turning off the engine.

“These are the Love Headquarters?!”Jongin’s dark eyes widen in disbelief.

“Well, the whole point is to keep our existence a secret. So they chose something that wouldn’t catch the eye.” Or at least I think that’s why. No one really bothered to explain.

“D.O. hyung…” He slowly follows me to the entrance.

“Yes?” I just have to bear with his questions for a little bit more. Soon, I’ll be free from him and his general attractiveness.

“Are you sure it’s going to be okay?” He whispers and there’s something sad and vulnerable in his tone.

For a single moment, I consider being nice to the kid. But then I remember how he’s going to forget everything, while I will have to suffer alone till the end and the idea fades away.

“How should I know? After we enter this place, you’re not my problem anymore.” I cringe inwards, because that might have come out a bit too strong and the last thing I need right now is a crying teenager.  

“Tsk. Just get in.” My hand reaches for the doorknob, yet before I manage to push the door open Jongin grabs my wrist and stops me.

“Hyung, wait! Just a second.” Maybe if I hadn’t focused on his pretty eyes, I would have actually managed to ignore his words.

But no such luck, I guess.

“What now?” I clear my voice in a sad attempt to calm down.

“If- If I’m not going to see you after we get in there, can I just say tha- that, well, I-I really like D.O. hyung.” His chest heaves and falls again as I feel the fingers holding my hand tremble slightly. “Hyung is always angry and loud and a really bad liar. Still… Still, you took care of me and- and, well, I got hit by the arrow, so I’m probably a-a little crazy right now, but I will miss you. I think...”

Aish! Stupid kid. He’s going to forget ever meeting me, so why does he have to say these things? Do I really need to become a ridiculous person who is in love with someone who doesn’t even know him?

That’s why I hate love so much. How can someone like something that hurts like this?

“No you won’t.” You won’t even remember me, I shut my mouth before I add that.

Jongin lets go of my wrist and I make a move for the door again.

“You forgot this!” A piece of clothing appears suddenly in my line of vision, startling me into a halt. I blink and realize it’s actually my hoodie that I gave him yesterday.

“You can keep that.” I’m not that insensitive, to let him go, dressed in only a T-shirt.

“See? I knew D.O. hyung was nice deep down.” I shoot him a glare at that. Rude brat. The moment I stop yelling, he gets cocky.

“And, hyung, don’t say you’re going to turn people into Crong from now on.” He continues with a small, unnerving smile.

“But, that’s what the witch does in the fairytales.” Because a grown-up man quoting fairytales is not at all lame…

“No. The witch turns the prince into a frog.” He laughs under his breath. “Crong is a dinosaur, though.”

Oh.

Oh. Well, that’s… Really silly to be honest. There are no limits to how much I can embarrass myself, are there?

“So what?” I frown, trying not to think about my face heating up in shame. “What if I turn you into a dinosaur? Is that a problem?!”

Luckily for me, Jongin quits laughing fast enough and instead starts shaking his head vehemently. “No. Actually, I-” He bites that same spot on his lower lip that he has been violating since yesterday. This will probably leave a mark.

“I don’t mind being D.O. hyung’s Crong.” He whispers and I would have felt a little better for myself, seeing his red face, if I weren’t busy cursing whoever said falling in love is a beautiful thing.

I’m a bloody Love God and I will never understand the beauty of love. So far, it has been uncomfortable, disturbing and –what’s the use denying it?- plain hurtful.

Then again, it must be because this is not fated love. Because all of this was my mistake, perhaps I’m paying the price now.

And really, everyone knows that the only thing worse than fated, is unrequited love.

A/N: Long time no see, guys!

I'm very very sorry for taking so long to update! *bows* I have definitely NOT given up on this story. 

In fact, I'm very thankful for your support and I will update weekly from now on!

Thanks for waiting!!