My eyes opened when I felt something touching my cheek. I looked down and saw Jongin's pale face staring up at me. He was perfectly illuminated by the moonlight.

"Your fever's gone," I commented after feeling his forehead. He didn't give me any indication that he had heard me though. His fingers still stayed against my cheek and I brought my hand up to touch his, hoping to bring it down. "Do you need something?"

Jongin gave me the faintest of smiles. "No, I just wanted to play your hair."

 

I blushed a little but I knew he wouldn't be able to see anyway. "You did a good job cutting it," I complimented him as I twirled a lock of hair around my finger. Though the end was blunt, it was manageable.

 

"I did," he said with a small chuckle. "I'd cut my own but you seem to have too much fun with it."

Then I realized that I still had a hand on his head, ready to run through his soft hair again. I pulled my fingers away hastily. "Sorry."

"Don't be." He brushed away a strand of hair that was tickling my nose and I noticed a silver band on his finger.

"What's that?" I stared at the ring, wondering what implication it held. Could he be engaged?

He lifted his hand and looked at the ring himself. He seemed to be thinking of something, as if he didn't know how to tell me about the ring. Oh no, this must've been something too personal for me to hear. "This?"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I grabbed his hand and put it against his chest. I didn't know if I wanted to hear about it anyway.

He used his other hand to hold mine as he pried his ringed finger out. "This is my family ring." He showed me the band of silver and I could see little markings on it but it was too dark for me to figure out what they were.

His family? So there were more of these mind-reading super humans? "Jongin, if I may ask..." I trailed off, trying to formulate a sentence that wouldn't sound too rude. "Are you a human being?"

"Of course."

I scratched my head with my free hand. "But you can do all those things like reading my mind which, by the way, I'd appreciate if you'd stop doing it."

He shifted around a little to get comfortable before answering me. "I guess by your standards, I'd be called a wizard or a warlock?" When I nodded, he continued. "Please don't call me that. It makes me feel like an old man with a long white beard."

I laughed, imagining Jongin with a beard. "Okay, I won't. But how did you get away with this? Anyone practising magic is sent straight to the gallows."

 

"I'm good at keeping secrets," he said while looking straight into my eyes. "You have to keep it a secret for me, okay?"

 

"Okay." For him, I knew I would have to stay true to my word or else he'd be killed. I watched as his eyes slowly began to close and for a second, I feared that he was dying right in front of me. I wanted to keep talking to him. "How do you do those things when other humans can't?"

"I don't know," he replied in a whisper. "I've been trained as a kid to just do these things. My little sister was going through the same training, too."

I smiled and thought of a little girl running around like Jongin would. "You have a little sister?"

"Yeah, and she's even more restless than I am." He played with the ring on his finger. "Or maybe I'm just getting old."

"What's your family like?"

Jongin shrugged and stopped fiddling with his ring. "I don't really know. I haven't seen them in a while."

"Oh."

I had been away from my family for a while now but I couldn't bear to be like Jongin and leave them for an entire year. Whether my job involved traveling the world or not, I needed my family at my side.

"Do you miss them?" I asked quietly.

Jongin nodded and closed his eyes. "A lot, actually."

I watched him relax in my lap and my hand went his hair by itself and began rearranging it again. He looked young and peaceful like this and I wondered what he was like as a young boy. "Do you ever wish you had a different life?" I wanted to know if we were alike in the sense that we both yearned for something else. I wanted to be a regular girl, not cooped up in a castle.

"You mean like a village boy chasing all the girls?"

I tilted my head to the side. I've never really met any village boys. "Yes, I suppose?"

He opened one eye. "Well, I haven't had much action in the past year. It'd be nice to live in pleasure again." He smirked mischievously.

I sat up straight when I understood the underlying meaning in his words and nearly hit my head against the tree trunk. "Don't expect me to help you with that." I pinched his nose like my mother used to do when I was behaving badly as a child.

He swatted my hands away and laughed. "I don't expect a sister to help me with that kind of thing."

I sighed, suddenly uninterested in having a conversation anymore. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't his sister but if he didn't want to see me any other way, I guess I had no choice. "Just go to sleep." I covered his eyes so he wouldn't see that I was slightly peeved. "We'll need to start moving soon."

 

Jongin's chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath of the cool night air. "It's okay. I don't stay sick for long." After getting no response from me, he shifted so he was lying on his side. "Good night."

 

I sighed quietly but murmured a good night back before fixing his blanket for him.

In a couple of minutes, his snoring had resumed but I couldn't fall asleep like he did. It was the dead of night but my blood was on the verge of boiling. But what was I angry about? That the boy I held interest for didn't return the favour? I was always used to suitors asking to court me but I never knew how much it stung when rejection happened.

I needed to relieve some of this energy. I eased my hand out of Jongin's and gently rested his head on the ground. I needed him to be in a safe place though so I draped the brown cloak over him and dragged him to a hollow tree that had fallen years before. Any onlookers would think I was dragging a dead body around. When he looked comfortable enough, I brought the bag to his side and fished out the two daggers that I had chosen.

I walked over to a sturdy tree and tried the knives, testing their weight first like I'd seen Jongin do and then digging them into a tree. I nicked the bark but it took a lot of strength to jam the blade into the wood. This was going to take some practice.

I strapped one knife to my left leg with the help of my ribbon and the other knife was tucked into the back of my dress. I would have to practise taking them out, too. The first few times were awkward. I had trouble lifting my skirt without tangling my hand in a mess. Reaching for the knife behind my back was no easier.

Then it was time to throw the swords. I hoped I would never have to engage in close combat but that would only require stabbing and stabbing wasn't as hard as throwing knives, right? I stared at the tree in front of me and concentrated on sinking the dagger in the wood. I felt the handle fly out of my hand but the blade bounced off the bark, mocking my lack of strength.

I pursed my lips and threw the other one, a little harder this time. Instead of the blade hitting the tree, though, the handle made contact. I ran over to pick up the knives and was going to practice again when I saw a light in the distance. Actually, it wasn't very distant, but I realized that a second too late.

I slid the daggers where they belonged and sat behind the tree, hoping it was thick enough to hide me. I prayed that the brown cloak camouflaged Jongin from the passerby. It would be bad to catch him unannounced.

"What do we have here?" My heart was pounding in my ears and I hesitantly looked up. Above me was a man holding a lamp and I squinted in the light to make out his face. His eyes were big and he had clear, milky complexion that contrasted with Jongin's slightly tanned skin.

"Hello there." I tried smiling but knew it was too forced.

"Hello, my name is Joonmyun." He held out his hand and helped me stand up. "Are you looking for shelter?"

I glanced at the fallen tree that Jongin was still sleeping in. I couldn't rat him out. "Yes, I got lost on my way home."

"I understand. This part of the woods is tricky." He swung his bag over his shoulders and started leading me away from the tree. "Come to my cottage. My wife can help you there."

"Oh, thank you." I took one last look at the tree. Jongin wasn't going to be with me for this.

Just wait, Jongin. I'll come back soon.

 

---

 

i got to meet marissa meyer last week! she's the author of cinder and scarlet (both of which are fantastic books and not just because the love interests are prince kai and wolf) and the book signing event was so fun! but i asked her the dreaded question that has been bothering me ever since i started writing: do you ever cringe when you read your old writing? she said yes and i guess that's supposed to be a relief for me but it's not. i read books and i'm inspired to write like a madman but then i go back and read and....my writing is so blech. and then it makes me want to ditch everything and start fresh.

 

so as i'm editing kai's story, i'm also getting increasingly frustrated with my juvenile writing. and i don't know how to improve because i have absolutely nothing else to add! i want to add flowers and lace and a ton of glitter but i just don't.know.how.

 

if you guys actually took the time to read this rant, thank you. i'm in a bit of a writing slump at the moment and it's not even because i'm out of ideas; the plots and stuff are all playing perfectly in my mind. but the minute i type or write it down, i lose the message and every ounce of emotion that i had planned to put in. then the story just turns out to be a stale lump of bread; it's not even a slice. to be fair, i know i have improved immensely since i first started (omg guys, you don't understand how much i shudder when i read my old works) but i wish i was just born with that magical ability to put my thoughts down on paper and express it in the way that i want. honestly (and i know this sounds dumb) but if i were to judge/review my own writing, i'd give it a very low rating. but the problem is, this WRITING thing isn't clicking with me!! i can feel myself getting better as i write but whenever i go back to read it, it's just really...bad.

 

wow this is starting to sound like i'm fishing for compliments but i'm really not. you guys leaving comments here make me so unbelievably happy. whenever i log onto this website and see a new subscriber or a new comment, it's crazy how giddy i get. i wish i could send you guys all little cookies or candies as thank-you gifts T__T

omg idk what i'm saying anymore. i've said too much. this probably should've gone in a blog post or something T__T ciao.

can i just project my imaginary movie scenes to you guys so y'all feeeeeeeeel what i'm feeling when i write??? ;A;