" Can you even hear my heart or are you pretending not to?

Why don’t you know, you stupid fool oh

I’m fallin’ down, getting deeper

Because of my longing for you, I can’t breathe, girl again today "
 

*

 It all started during our trainee days, when Teen Top was finalised and we finally found who was in our group. I had seen that boy before, in Seo Taiji's Human Dream music video. What was his name ? I furrowed my brows, thinking, racking my brains for the answer.. Ah ! Yoo Chang Hyun was it ? I'm not sure, all I know that he was the most angelic person I have ever met. His features complemented his face, round eyes that poured into your soul, pouty lips you want to devour. " Annyeonghaseyo ! Yoo Chang Hyun imnida, but please call me Ricky. " He flashed a shy smile. Even the coordi noonas that walked pass would remark , " Omo, neomu kyeopta ! So precious " and ruffle his hair. His smile was genuine, untouched, he made everyone smile even during the toughest times I remember he would smile and say " Hyungs, it's okay even if you make mistakes, without them how would you know later on you've perfected it ? " He would skip off and turn up the music again. Pulling everyone up and leading them in the dance. He had this effect on people ,no one else had. He could light up the world. It was because of him, I continued pressing forward and persisted during the vigorous training we had been put through.

It was pretty obvious everyone had the hots for our maknae, they would shower him with love and attention mostly touch him places that would cause him to blush furiously and shy away. He was a very vocal person, a soft whimper would escape his lips when C.A.P tried to get frisky with him or when Changjo got too close to him. For me , I tried to keep distance unless I really needed to. It was surprising how the fans would come up with a pairing such as " RickJoe " when I think that we were the most distant. As time passed , it was getting harder and harder to stay away. I had already fallen so deep for the angel right before my eyes. Everything he did, everything he said, he was driving me insane. It became a challenge to pry my eyes away from him, he was my vice. Sometimes, I would see him cozy up the hyungs especially Chunji, my insides would churn and my chest would contract as if I was dying. It was a feeling I had never felt before, sometimes tears would even well up in my eyes. What is this feeling ? But most of the time my jeans would become unbelievably tight to the point where it would hurt, I had to escape to the bathroom to relieve myself,  Relishing in the thought of him dancing, his shirt flying up to reveal that little bit of milky white skin. . The feeling came again, I escaped to the toilet yet again. I felt guilty honestly, to think of Ricky under such light but I couldn't help it  , I guess this is what happens when you keep quiet for too long. When I returned , I overheard the members. 

" Ya, don't you think Byunghyun-sshi has been acting weird lately ? " Niel asked  no one in particular.

" What do you mean by weird hyung ? " Ricky asked curiously . eyes widening in way too cute-y-able way.

" Like, going to the bathroom way too many times in a day weird. This is like his what ? 4th time ? Is he having bladder problems ? " C.A.P replied matter-of-factly,earning nods from his dongsaengs. 

" Oh ! Really ? I hadn't noticed. " Ricky said, looking down, his mouth forming a small pout. I took that as my cue to enter the waiting room. The members dispersed from their little 'discussion' when they heard the door slam shut. 

" Hi, what did I miss ? " I asked, pretending I never heard anything from before. " Ah, the hyungs were talking about y- " Chunji shut him up before he could continue, putting a hand over his mouth. " Ah we were talking about where was the best place to get yoghurt. Ahaha. " He chuckled nervously before dragging Ricky to the sofa, hand still clasped over his mouth. The others gave a sigh of relief, and went back to what they were doing orginally. It was getting out of hand and I had to do something about it. 

Ricky-ya, why can't you see that I love you ? 

*

 The hyungs have started to become suspicious of me since I escaped to the bathroom so many times in a day. Even I would agree, if I saw another member acting this way I would've thought he was weird too. Sigh, what am I going to do ? I can't confess to him, it's too risky, what if he doesn't like me back ? I'd be done r It was less than a week till our debut song ' Clap ' was to be released , everyone was busy preparing for the music video shoot. Hair concept all figured out, make up all settled. Our very first music video, I was nervous for two things, one for the shoot , the other for the fact that I was gonna confess to Ricky. I held it off for too long, I felt like my feelings were gonna burst. 

I watched as Ricky did his solo shot. It was a side of him I never saw before, it was as if his cute and lovely image had been thrown out the window and a y ghost had posessed him. He was perspiring, the white tank top clad to his body. This is it. During our break time, I grabbed Ricky's wrist and pulled him out of the studio, we ran for god knows how far until I heard him shout from behind me. " Hyung ! Hyung please stop ! " I turned around to see a sweaty maknae, hair stuck on his face, body glistening with salty liquid. " Hyung ? Are you crazy ? " He panted, slightly sticking his tongue out. As enticing as he looked, I had to focus on the important thing ; the confession.

" Ne, I am crazy but i'm only crazy for you. " ( A/N : Oh ma gawd , cho corny, I'm dying. )

" Mwo ? Crazy ? What do you mean hyung ? " Ricky's face was scrunched up in confusion, boy was he innocent. "

" What I mean is.. " I leaned forward, tilting his chin slightly. I could see a red tint, forming on his cheeks. He placed his hands on my chest, slightly pushing me away but being the stronger one. I pinned him against the tree, ( A/N : they ended up at the park ) " Ricky-ya " I closed up the gap between us. He was stiff under me, eyes widened to the point where I thought they would pop out, but he soon relaxed. I lightly grazed him lower lip, asking for permission to enter. He gasped at the contact and I took the chance to slip my tongue in, using the chance to explore every crevice of his sweet cavern. Our tongues dancing a dance only we know. It wasn't rough and sloppy but slow yet the passion was there. It seemed as if time stopped and we were the only ones. I wished this would last forever, I loved him so much. When I broke the kiss, he slipped out of my grip and ran away for a weakling, he was fast. I was left alone, standing under a willow tree. Do you know how breathless you leave me ? I slumped down , leaning against the tree, remembering the kiss we shared moments ago. I smiled to myself like a huge fool, hehehe. I'll make you mine ricky ah. Just you wait.

I took my time to walk back to the dorm, still wearing my costume. Luckily, it was a polo shirt and a pair of acid washed jeans so it wasn't uncomfortable. I stopped to get some coffee on the way, at a nearby cafe me and the other members usually went if training ended early. I saw two figures wearing similar outfits to mine, hugging each other tightly. I squinted to get a better look and clenched my fist when I reliased who it was-C.A.P. I shoud've known , he always liked the maknae ,he made it very obvious too. Shooting the younger fleeting glances and back-hugging him. The anger in me, was boiling and I was about to explode. I ran into the cafe and grabbed C.A.P hyung by the collar.

" Ya, what do you think you're doing with MY Ricky ?! " I spat , noticing that Ricky hyung was crying it only added fuel to the my fire. " WHAT DID YOU DO HIM. " I erupted, the whole cafe went dead silent, everyone was staring at us. Embarrassed, ricky tried to stop this. " H-hyung. Pl-please stop "

" Ricky, stay out of this ! " Ricky yelped and sat back down, tears welling up in his eyes again. " O-o-kay  "

" What did I do ? Maybe you should ask yourself what you did ?! " C.A.P shoved me to the ground, straddling me. " YOUR Ricky was crying when I found him, maybe if you took better care of YOUR Ricky. He wouldn't have come running to me. " He let go of me and took Ricky by the right hand, " Kaja. " Oh no you don't. I grabbed Ricky's left hand to prevent him from walking. It soon became a human tug of war. 

" Hyungs, please stop ! You're hurting me ! " I shook his hand out of my grasp and nudged C.A.P to walk on. He turned back to look at me, with eyes I couldn't read. It was a whirl of emotions in his eyes. C.A.P smirked and mouthed I win. As soon as they walked out, I slamed my fist on the table and shouted. This isn't over Minsoo

*

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HEHE, this is the end of the 1st chap. sorry it's so short and crappy. i'm cramming for time. mianhaeeeeeeeee

The lyrics are from TEEN TOP's song TO YOU.

teen top loves you all, so does author-nim <3

photo cr : ixolicious