Title & etc.

I like the title. It’s very straightforward and readers know what to expect.

5/5

Description/Foreword.

I really liked your description. I assume the whole story will be based on the quote which fits perfectly with the title of the story. I think many people will subscribe because they are intrigued as fear and death is part of our daily life. You’ve also included lyrics by Taylor Swift which once again, revolves around the idea fear. From the description I can already see the concept and background of the story and it already looks promising.

5/5

Writing style.

The flow of the storyline has been done very well. You took time to introduce each character’s fear and slowly moved towards making the fear occur.

However, I was quite disappointed with the extra chapter where you’ve introduced the new character Soojin because the storyline changes. It doesn’t fit very well with the original theme of the story and seems a little rushed.

20/25

Grammar and Vocabulary.

I can immediately see that you have a good command of English as well as a large vocabulary. However, there are some careless mistakes that I’m sure were just overlooked. The main problem I can see is with your tenses. You move quickly from present to past tense and the sentences become confusing. There is also an excessive use of comma.

For example:

But this fear, was something no one knew of.

There is no need to a comma between the fear and was. The sentence should be ‘But this fear was something no one knew of’.

Jongin chuckled again as he saw Soojung gloats at Sehun and Sulli who doesn’t look like it mattered. Not that Soojung cares.

The whole sentence was quite confusing because you kept going from past tense to present tense. ‘Chuckled’ and ‘mattered’ are both past tense while ‘gloats’ and ‘cares’ are both present tense. The correct form may be ‘Jongin chuckled again as he saw Soojung gloating at Sehun and Sulli, who looked like it didn’t matter. Not that Soojung cared.’

20/30

Plot and characters.

Since I am a huge Kaistal fan and SelLi(or SeSul), I really liked the choice of characters. I think Kaistal fits perfectly as the main characters because in reality they also seem shy to each other. The plot and concept of the story was unique. I have seen a couple of fear related fanfics in this site but none of which revolve around Kaistal.  But I have to admit, once again, that the extra chapter totally threw me off because it was not fitting with the original plot. Sorry but I’ll have to dock points off for that.  

21/25

Insight form reviewer.

Overall, this was a very enjoyable read. I was impressed with how you’ve managed to revolve the whole story between the four characters and still make it focus on Jongin. The thing I liked about this story was that it was apparent that you’ve done research about fears before writing this. I was pretty upset that Sehun eventually died in the end but I won’t push points off. I’d love to hear more Kaistal stories from you.

9/10

80/100