Jongin finally found it in himself to speak through the tears that eventually died down from his numbing eyes. "It was difficult at first... More than I will admit." 

The interviewer rose his brows curiously, confused as he wiped his eyes with his right hand to rid his face of his tears. In the back of his now fuzzed mind, he thought this was a small break through - Jongin coming to terms. He leaned forward and tilted his head. "What was...?" Trying to get the answer out of him, out between his lips.

Jongin turned it around in almost an instant, continuing, "It was burdensome - but after accepting it, it makes me too sad..." his eyes downcast to his fingers, cheeks shining with his own tears as he stared at the tea stained saucer though hazed eyes.

Inhaling deeply, hitching his breath, the interviewer quickly asked, "The disease he had? It was burdensome..? At least you accept i-"

Jongin cut him off, bowing his head and closing his eye tightly as he said almost angrily, "No." Then tilted his head up as he looked up at him once more, eyes shining with a fresh new batch of tears.

The interviewer shut up, motioning for Jongin to continue with his right hand, as he sat back in his chair and bit the inside of his lip very gently, a sniffle raising itself into the musky air.

Jongin swallowed hard, almost debating whether or not to continue as his eyes fell heavy, his head tilted the slightest and his chest rose and fell in a deep stutter. "I've come to a consensus that there's no use holding onto scattered pieces. It will only break my heart"

And at that it broke the interviewers heart. His large eyes squinted slowly, watching Jongin’s head wooze to one side before he lifted it again, watching his eyes fade in and out of focus. He was about to attempt to murmur words of reassurance, that everything will be okay... But Jongin was already speaking again.

"Honestly... Sometimes I'm standing in the same memory with y-him." Jongin corrected himself, his eyes closing tightly as his words flowed together even more. "Frozen in time," his head tilted back and it rolled as he spoke again, though his words were becoming harder and harder to decipher. "I'm afraid... Because I don't know what is going to happen to me. I don't know anything -" he cut himself off and leaned forward, though as he did his whole body lurched forward and his eyes closed. That didn't prevent him from speaking though... "Was it painful? Knowing I'm like this...?" he asked randomly.

The interviewer was confused, his brows furrowing as he leaned forward as well, reaching a hand out to provide help but he was afraid to touch him... "Jongin I don-" He started but Jongin cut him off again, almost as if he didn't pay any mind to the interviewers words.. And in a way he didn’t. His hearing was becoming patchy.

"As I continue living like this, I wonder what the point of living is..."