CHAPTER 1

 

 

 

            “ANYONE who already accomplished your test, please return your paper and you may leave!”

            Third. This is the third time I heard the gyosu exclaimed the same announcement; his voice seemed echo-ing inside the silent class-room, making the atmosphere getting more tense, and actually this is the third time as well I stole a glimpse on her, the girl nervously sitting at the desk next to me. We’re only separated by a not too wide gap, so I still possible to sneak a peek to her and though it had been my third time I did it, I still could capture the same condition as I previously did it.

            Nearly empty paper. Blank sheet.

            Geez… The girl was really in big trouble, I said inside my heart. To tell the truth this is one of our final exams which meant the result of this test was really necessary to decide our final outcome, whether we’d pass this hakki or we’d have to undergo any remedial test.

            Couldn’t stand it anymore, I briskly jotted down some words on a small note. Yeah, hell, I copied and paste my own answer on it – the thing I never did before; afterward I crumpled the note, forming a small ball, then abruptly rose from my chair and grabbed my examination sheet. I held my paper on my left hand, while my right hand clutched the crumpled ball note; when I passed over her desk as I walked toward the gyosu, I dropped it carefully and naturally – exact on her desk, in front of her face. Then I just went on nonchalantly.

            I beamed a smile when I proffered my paper to my gyosu and he smiled back at me. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell that he recognized me; one amongst daehagsaeng deul in this college. Other daehagsaeng thought he’s kind of killer lecturer, but I didn’t think so.

           Oh, don’t get me wrong; it wasn’t because he knew me well and vice versa or so. I meant he was indeed slightly strict and discipline, but overall he’s a good and nice lecturer. The way he lectured was fun instead of boring; whereas I thought, it’s actually difficult to deliver anatomy lesson in such an interesting way. That’s why I appreciated him for doing that great job.

           “Not too hard, isn’t it, Kim Tae Yeon?” he asked me before I left the class.

            Actually, I wanted to reply: “Ne. I think I can do it well.” But instead of releasing that cocky remark I spilled out the softer one.

            “There’re still some questions I forgot the answer, Sonsaengnim,” I replied politely and he still hung a smile on his face. After waiting for few sec, considering he’d ask me another question again, and finally I didn’t find he’d, I bowed politely and turned away, about to leave the class.

            Once again, when I passed over her desk, I stole a glimpse. This time, I could picture the different scene from previous. The blank sheet already been fulfilled with her handwriting. I smiled complacently discovering it and I deliberately slightly slowed my pace when I exactly passed her desk. As if noticing what I was doing, suddenly she lifted her face and our eyes inevitable, met.

            I instinctively winked to her as I went on coolly, pretending there’s nothing happened, but deep inside my heart I kept yelling “hurray!” when she displayed a smile at me as well – for the first time – I mean the real smile one – not a smile due to a polite manner, and the eyes, the sight, this is the first time as well I could caught the warmth from her sight.

            I felt like a creep, but I didn’t care. I knew I’d already mesmerized by her since the first time I met her, in this college. I knew she had been captured my heart from that day on. Since we’re still at the first hakki. By her presence, I thought, sooner or later I began to be able to move on. Hell, yeah. Move on, as actually, until today I couldn’t really totally forget her. The girl left me away. My first love. The girl who promised me that there would never anybody else in her life, but me. I thought I was too stupid or naïve when I believed in what she’s saying.

            I was almost hit 19 at that time, and she’s in her 18. And both of us were still in 12^th grade class. Still young? Still unstable? Dunno. But all I knew was I never thought her as a fling. I really loved her and yeah, God knew it. I trusted her so much when she said she loved me much as well and couldn’t live without me. That’s why when she told me she had to continue her education in States, though felt worry, I struggled hard to not making any dramatic scene. I still could remember she cried a lot and I hugged her, patted her back up and down. I kissed her forehead and whispered.

          “Uljima,” I murmured, tightened my hug. “There’s nothing big difference,” I assured her.

          “We’d text and call every day. We’d get to used to it. Time would run faster than we imagine. And after you’re graduated, I’d come to propose you. We’re gonna get married,” I promised her and she lifted her head, looked at me. I was glad it worked. She didn’t sob anymore; instead, her face gradually turned into a bright one.

          “Jinjja?” she showed me her eyesmile; making my heart melted more. I touched her cheek, wiped away her tears gently then landed my lips again on her forehead.

         “Yagsoghae,” I lifted my hand and formed a scissors with my two fingers a sign of swear. She giggled complacently witnessing my action.

         I sealed our last meeting with passionate kiss; then I pulled away, breaking the kiss. It’s not her; but me who’s pulled away, as I already known, she’d really won’t possible to catch her flight if we’re keep going like this. Kissing and staring. Kissing and staring. I knew as well, at that time she seemed like glued at me, but I didn’t want to make it be more difficult to her.

         I loved her so much. And she loved music so much. She flied to States to reach her dream; took education at Berkeley School of Music and I thought it’s time to be more mature. I had to let her go; and because, just because I trusted on us that much, I thought there’s nothing to worry about. Everything would be just all right, though I knew, I absolutely lied when I said “there’s nothing big difference”.

        Hell, of course there would be! How could I say that. Hahaha, I smiled pathetically.

        If we’re stayed at the same place, whenever I missed her, I just could visit her and hugged her, kissed her, or so. But how could it work when she’s in another continent? I knew I would miss her so damn much; and I knew as well, kissing my PC screen when we’d skype talking would never really help and work out.

        She bid a goodbye once again before entering the departure gate.

        “Taeng, saranghae!” she suddenly turned back to face me again and yelled, while stepping backward, with her back facing straight. Some people directly looked at us; but she didn’t show any embarrassment.

        God, my silly girlfriend!

        I waved back and smiled; replied her by drawing in the air.

        I heart you. She giggled again before finally turning back and vanished from my sight.

        I never knew that I would never hear anything from hear again afterward.

 

 

 

 

        Okay, stop being dramatic. Now we’re back to the mysterious blonde one.

        Do you know why I felt excited so sudden? Because I never got any idea that one day she would smile at me like this day as everybody knew she was cold. She’s beautiful, but unfortunately she’s really cold. She seemed like her own world and just stood on her own. I didn’t know why, and I couldn’t figure it out yet, but it didn’t really matter for me. All the things I knew was I found myself adored her, still. And today, she was smiling back at me.

        It’s more than enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

        “Aigo… Biga oneyo!!” I heard one of daehagsaeng, presumably my junior yelled to her friend.

        I frowned and sigh, but didn’t stop at my track. My head slightly popped halfway the door and realized it was indeed rain. It wasn’t too heavy yet; since I didn’t take my umbrella with me, I thought I could still force myself to dash quick under the rain to reach my car. I extended my hand; opened up my palm for a moment and felt the drizzle briskly touched it. But as I was about to step down the short stairs, I recognized someone’s presence, standing beside me.

       I tilted my head and once again, my eyes met hers.

       “Usan eobseo?” she asked briefly and at time, I realized it’s my first time to see her close-up version. And her voice… was so cute. I just noticed she had a nasal voice, that absolutely distinguishable from the other students.

       Now we’re standing side by side, and I could tell that I was able to see each detail on her beautiful gloom face. I didn’t know, really didn’t know why a beautiful girl like her seemed hide many sorrow.

       Maybe, yeah, just maybe, I was the one who could reveal it later. And fix it, maybe? Geez. I thought I wished too much.

       Didn’t want her caught me staring at her too long and eventually regarding me as a creepy one, I hastily snapped away my thought and acted naturally.

       I nodded calmly. “Ne, jibe isseo,” I plastered up an innocent smile when I told her my umbrella was left in my house.

       Before I spoke up again, she already grouped around her bag then hauled up an umbrella. She spread it up and looked at me again; her eyes gave me a cue to join her sharing the umbrella.

       “Come on,” she said, still with her typical cold voice. I pulled myself closer to her and she covered our head with the umbrella. We ambled side by side, and as we’re really close, I could feel her smooth milky skin touched mine few times.

       We’re walking in the silence; probably for two main reasons.

       First, she was indeed really quiet and as my best knowledge I got, she’s indeed barely talked to anybody. All the common things people ever heard from her was perhaps only “Annyeonghaseyo”, “Gamsahamnida”, and “Joesonghamnida.” Hahaha. And the second reason, I thought the noisy sound earned by the rain creating a good atmosphere to make us keep silence.

       But finally as she realized something she piped up.

       “Cham, where should I bring you?” she asked dubiously. The rain seemed gonna be hard. I peered over my shoulder and discovered her back already began to slightly drenched. Instinctively my hand held her back, pressed closer to me; dodging more drizzle.

       “My car is near here,” I said. “Where’s yours?”

       “Oh, mine…,” she trailed off and suddenly she gasped. Her eyes widened.

       “What?”

       “What such a fool,” I heard she mumbled. “I forgot to tell my chauffeur to pick me up,” she seemed slightly annoyed with her recklessness. I smiled casually when saw she fished around her bag again; trying to find her cell-phone.

       “What if I give you a ride?” I asked. She stopped fishing around and looked at me. I nodded once again; assuring her.

       “Yeah,” I said. “Seems the rain would be harder. You must not want to wait your chauffeur in the middle of rain like this. It takes time for him to reach here, right?”

       After pausing – probably considering – for a moment finally she replied.

       “Are you okay with it?”

       Yippie! I almost couldn’t hold jumping hearing the indication.

       “Of course,” I giggled. “Come on,” I was to step forward again but she seemed hesitated.

       “What else?” I knitted my eyebrows together.

       “My house isn’t near from here.”

       “That’s why I offer you a ride, not walk,” I replied perceptively.

       Out of my expectation I could see her smile. And for your information, of course I’d already known her address. I passed over her house every day, so you know. Yeah, actually we’re staying at the same complex. Sometimes, just sometimes, I slowed my car when passing her house; wondered what she’s doing. I stared at the window on the second level; presumably her room; thinking what she’s doing now. Was she sleeping? Or pondering something? Or daydreaming, still with her gloom look? Ugh, God, I really wanted to be the one who knew her more…

       “Odie sara?” I asked where she’s living; pretending to have zero knowledge about her.

       “Gangnameso,” she mentioned. I nodded again. “Cheongdamdong,” she mentioned the neighborhood specifically.

       “Actually, me too,” I confessed and caught she’s jolted in surprise.

       “You too?”

       “Hu-uh,” I widened my smile. “Maybe we’re actually a neighbor,” I added.

       “Ahhh… Morraseo mianhae…,” she seemed sorry for not knowing the information; whereas we’d already been classmates for six months and for me it was nothing but cute.

       “Gwaenchana, now you just know it,” I said calmly. “So we may bump one day and you just can say hallo to me,” I added with cute manner. Though I didn’t tilt my head to see, I knew she spread her smile at that time.

       Finally we reached my car. I took over the stem of umbrella and invited her to go in first. After slumming the door, I walked to my side and hastily getting in after un-spreading the umbrella. I started the machine and the roar sound was heard. Lavender scent was just overwhelmed strongly as I turned the AC on.

       We’re drifted into peaceful silence for a moment. Oh yeah, it’s another strange experience, if I might tell. I thought suddenly we’re no more awkward each other.

       “Uhm, Taeyeon,” she piped in.

       “Ne?”

       “Gomawo…,” she trailed off and I smiled as I already known where she was about bringing the conversation to.

       “For helping me with the test.”

       “Oh,” I shrugged my shoulder. “Never mind.”

       “You weren’t supposed to do it,” she said dubiously; making me quickly tilted my head and looked at her confusingly.

       “I mean, you weren’t supposed to risk your grade… by helping me… on cheating…”

       I laughed a little; earning a frown from her.

       “I just couldn’t stand it,” I admitted. “Sorry, I sneak a peek on your sheet and when I knew it was almost blank… it was the first thing on my mind, actually.”

       “Did you get bother with it?” I asked carefully.

       “Aniya,” she briskly answered. “You helped me; how could I be bothered with it? I just… thought you did too much for me.”

       I chuckled; her remarks made me felt “something”. Did I do too much for her? Argh, Taeyeon, what you’re thinking about? She just spilled it out naturally. It really didn’t mean anything. Anything.

       “Actually not,” Taeyeon said. “I… I was only trying to help because I imagine if I was on your position, I must’ve hoped someone help me too.”

       “Anyway,” I jumped in again, trying to slightly divert the topic. “What’s happened to you?”

       “I mean, uhm,” she cleared the throat. “I knew you’re a diligent student as well. It didn’t make any sense to me that you’re not able to answer ehem… almost all the questions.”

       The girl remained quiet for a moment again. I patiently waited for her answer; my knuckles spontaneously drummed on the wheeling steers. I hummed barely in the short pause.

        “I thought I lost my concentration,” she answered dubiously.

        “Mwo?”

        “Yeah, I thought I didn’t prepare it well.”

        “You studied last night?” I asked.

        “Hu-uh,” she nodded. “But I thought I was falling asleep in the middle of it.”

        “No wonder,” I said. “Anatomy indeed drained much energy and eventually rewarded you drowsiness,” I giggled.

        “But you could read my handwriting, couldn’t you?” I suddenly remembered I wrote it fast and rough.

        “I think…,” she trailed off and rolled her eyes. “Yes… just missed one.”

        “Oh yeah?” I rubbed my unitchy hair.

        “It wasn’t too clear, whether you wrote pterigoideus internus or pterigoideus externus,” she said; mentioning mastication muscles.

        “Ahhh, aro,” I nodded, felt slightly disappointed. “Only one, rite?”

        “Yeah. But thank you again,” she uttered brightly. “It’s more than I expected. Thank you.”

        “Aish,” I hissed. “Don’t need to be so owe me,” I smiled. “I’m glad I could be helpful.”

        If I might rephrase, I’d like to say I’m glad to be the reason behind your smile. But of course it was a very very wrong if I told her so, this time. Just be patient, Taeyeon.

        I turned my wheel, passed Gangnam Station and went straight; to the upper area of Gangnam District, which to tell the truth, was the isolated area which is occupied by rich people only. I didn’t mean to brag, but yeah, the price of food and clothes here could take 3-4 times higher than the other area or store. In simple form, I could tell that Gangnam could be compared with Beverly Hills, California.

        Finally we reached Cheongdam-dong. I slowed the car speed as I didn’t want to miss her house. She told me to go straight and I obeyed her.

        “It almost reaches my home,” she told me. “Anyway where’s your house?”

        “It still takes one block more,” I answered.

        “Ahhh… It’s mine,” she clapped her hands and pointed out a house across my car. I drove my car aside and seemed the rain already subsided. I pulled the hand brake and rolled down my window, as she got out from the car.

       I could see a lady in middle age presumably her mother welcomed her at the porch.

        “Aigooo how could you left your cell-phone at your room again, Su Yeon?” the woman scowled her and shook her head in disbelief.

        Su Yeon... So her real name was Su Yeon... I involuntarily smiled as I already got her real name.  

        “Omma… You know I’m reckless,” she smiled innocently and kissed her mother.

        Owh… she didn’t seem so cold toward her mother. Hmmm… probably she could be nice whenever she’s comfortable… I guessed as I witnessed the scene.

        “Oh yeah, how could you back home?” her mom asked again. “By cab?”

        “Aniyo, Omma,” she replied. “A friend sent me home.”

        “Owh what a nice friend,” I heard her mother said.

        “Anyway, I thought just for tomorrow you’d to call a cab. Your car was under maintenance; the other was used by your father.”

        “Arasseo,” she said briefly.

        Dug! I felt sudden hammer in my chest as the woman began to peek toward my direction. Aish, I couldn’t pretend to not see her. Nervously I rolled down my window until maximum, then threw a polite smile and slightly bowed.

         “Annyeonghaseyo,” I greeted.

         “Annyeonghaseyo,” she replied; Jessica was trailed behind her. As if I knew what’s on her mind, I quickly gave her additional information.

        “I stayed a block behind,” I pointed out an area; so that her mother didn’t think that she had bothered me. The woman nodded again; smiling at me.

        “Oh… such a nice, why Su Yeon never told me she had friend nearly here?”

        “Ugh, I think…”

        “My bad,” she chimed in. “I thought I was lack in socialization. I didn’t know it before,” she smirked.

        “Aigoooo… You really have to change your behavior. Try to pay attention to people around you, at least! Don’t be so indifferent!” I heard her mother scowled her again and I couldn’t help but giggle.

        Suddenly I remembered the remarks that tomorrow she should order a cab; and though it was too fast or weird, I thought it was my chance… Chance would come twice, right?

        I secretly cleared my throat, trying to sound as casual as possible.

        “Oh, since every day I passed your house and I overheard that your car was under maintenance you can join my car tomorrow.”

        I smiled as I knew I’d used the right sentence. I said “you can join my car tomorrow” instead of “what if I give you a ride”. The latter sentence could probably earn an odd impression, I guessed.

        “Ouch… Are you okay with it?” I heard she asked confusingly.

        “Yeah, why not? With or without you, I still have to pass this way,” I laughed.

        “Moreover, have a friend during the way would kill my bothersome,” I added quickly.

        I smiled in victory as witnessed her bright expression.

        “Okay… Mot si dochakhalgeyo?”

        “Ummm.. Seven?” I replied.

        She frowned and I caught her mother crossed her arms; however I still couldn’t figure it out.

        “Seven fifteen?” she bargain cutely.

        “Aish,” I heard her mother mumbled. “Spoiled girl. It’s you, the one who suppose to adjust the time, not her,” she babbled and the girl just giggled innocently.

        “Gwaenchanayo,” I assured her mother. “It’d just be fine. I’m not good in waking up early as well.”

        “Gamsahae...,” her mother trailed off.

        “Taeyeon,” I briskly mentioned my name.

        “Ah, aro. Gamsahae, Taeyeon.”

        “It isn’t a big deal. Okay, annyonghigyeseyo, Ahjumma, bye Sica!” I waved my hand and slowly rolled up my window.

        I couldn’t stop smiling as I run my car again. From my rearview mirror I could see they were still standing at the same place; and as they gradually disappeared from my sight, I couldn’t stop thinking, is she the one?

 

 

 

to be continued...

 

gyosu = lecturer

daehagsaeng = student in college

hakki = semester

usan = umbrella

isseo = there's

obseo = there isn't

morraseo mianhae = sorry I don't know

Gangnameso = in Gangnam

sonsaengnim = teacher, a way to call the teacher (-nim is added to make honorific form)

gwaenchana = it's ok; never mind

gamsahae = thank you

ara, aro = I see

aniya, aniyo = no

annyeonghigyeseyo = good bye