I am Lee Sungmin. Born in 1986. A male artist from a vocal group called Super Junior. I have a younger brother called Lee Sungjin. My roommate in Super Junior dorm is Cho Kyuhyun. I like pink. Or at least, those are things they said about me.

                Well, today I woke up remembering nothing. Not my name, not who am I, where I came from, and such. Since I learned that I am an artist, especially from a famous group in South Korea, I guess I pretty much burdened my fellows.

                “Sungmin hyung.”

                “….Ne?” I answered after realized that’s my name that’s being called.

                The caller left a deep sigh. “Um, I just wanted to say that today you should just rest here. Our manager has been busy to prepare things, considering your condition now. No need to think so much, ne? Just rest. I think it will help you regain your memories. Later there will be a doctor came to see you. You can ask Donghae if you need something. He’s outside, in the living room. Is there anything you need now?”

                “…No, I think there isn’t. Um, you’re leaving, Cho Kyuhyun-ssi?” I asked because he seemed to be so neat and prepared.

                The latter raised his eyebrows being called like that. “…Yeah, I’m going to shoot a program called Radio Star. It’s allright. As I said, Donghae’s here. Ask him anything.. Then, I’m leaving..”

                “O-okay. Have a safe trip.” Then he disappeared with a sad smile on his face.

--

The dorm pretty much silent. It’s totally opposite from this morning. Everyone came to ‘our’ room with panic face. They kinda interviewed me and busy calling ‘our’ managers and ‘our’ boss. The room more crowded when the managers came. After discussed many things, they (well, the managers and ‘our’ leader, Park Jungsoo-ssi) decided that the others should just continue with their schedules and my problem would be taken care by the managers with some people in the company. And appearantly, I don’t have many schedules these days, apart from ‘our’ group activities, and that’s considered ‘lucky’ for the current situation.

                I’m scared. Truly. But I guess I’m not the emotional person. Up until now, I just sit quietly and listened to every single things they decided, and answered calmly when they asked. These guys around me felt like strangers. I do find something tickles in my mind when I see them, but I think it’s not familiarity, more like excitement, which I found weird.

                They have informed ‘my family’ about my condition. I think ‘my family’ will come this afternoon. I wonder how they looked like..

                I started to wonder my eyes around the room. It’s quite messy, but still nice. And there is a pretty large shelf to place many kinds of wine. There are two beds, one is mine, while the other is Cho Kyuhyun’s. There are two wardrobes. I assume that the one nearer to my bed is ‘mine’.

                I walked to open the wardrobe, thinking maybe there are things inside that can help me to remember. As I lay my fingers on the knob to open it, I feel like I shouldn’t. It feels like I’m going to peek in someone’s wardrobe, not mine. But of course, it’s mine, isn’t it? I shrugged off the thought and open it. 

                It’s just an usual wardrobe ever. Nothing’s out of ordinary. But I kind of disappointed. No reason. I just felt so, seeing the shirts, pants, shorts, pajama, and many others. It’s quite plain, except some pink cute tops that lied inside.

                Right then, a thought coming to my mind.

                I haven’t take a bath, and it’s almost afternoon.

                I quickly grabbed a towel –which I considered mine—and the cute designed pink top, with a stylish short, and of course, along with the underwear.

                The bathroom’s empty, as everyone except me and Donghae-ssi, had left earlier for schedule.

                I started to strip myself.

But while doing so, I felt something weird. I can’t describe it perfectly. Maybe something like shy? Embarrasstment??

Then again, what is there to be embarrassed about? When I’m facing the mirror, the reflection was great. Yeah, I could tell that my body is in quite good shape. Six packed, you may say. But the weird feeling is still there with me.

And it definitely didn’t leave me until I finished my shower…

--

Later, I find a handsome man peeked into my room after a soft knocking. It must be Donghae-ssi. Who else right? Although I can’t remembered all the faces this morning—well what do you expect? There are many of them—I’m sure it’s him because for the second time I should say that we are alone in the dorm.

                I stare at him and he just gave me this cute stare back. He furrowed one of his eyebrows and stared at me with a questioning look, although it supposed to be me who’s confused here.

                “Is there anything you want to say, Donghae-ssi?” I smiled at the younger.

                He looked startled. Probably because the way I called him? I don’t know how I should address him as I usually do before this whole thing.

                “Um, did you—did you call me Donghae-ssi?—No, I mean, yeah, you could call me Hae. You called me by that name before—um—this..”

                I tried not to laugh when I heard him for the first time. Well, he has an unique accent. I recognized it as Mokpo’s. I think I do still have general knowledges in my brain.

Also, I found that his confused and flustered face is pretty adorable.

                “I just want to let you know that Umma and Ap—I meant your family’s here. Do you want them to go here.. or you will meet them in the living room?” as he continued his talking by the doorstep.

                “It’s allright. I’ll go there with you..um..Hae,” I said in discomfort.

                The latter can’t hold to smile brightly as his nickname being called by me. He then sent me to meet my own family in our living room.

--

The rest of the day went quite smoothly, except for my lost memories which unsuccessfully recovered. Not only that, I seem to not have any familiarity with my surroundings, be it people or things I have. They failed miserably on the way to regained my memories back.

                My Appa and Umma, even my blood-related dongsaeng, Lee Sungjin, cried. They insisted that I should just quit the group, at least for the time being, until I fully recovered. The company itself had a hard times with this and decided to gave me a break if I want it.

                But maybe something’s really going crazy in my mind. I felt more secure here, in the dorm, with a bunch of guys that I don’t recognized rather than rest at “my house” with “my family”. Although they are my family, I can’t really found the familiarity. I felt bad because I couldn’t seem to remember them. It pained “Umma” a lot, which pained me too, seeing her cried like that.

                I declared my decision to adjust with my life, just like before I lost my memories, to practice with other members, to guestings and DJ-ing as “usual”, well just be me minus the memories themselves.

                The company seemed to agree with any decision I took. They still publicized my memory loss to “the world”, through an open press conference, placed 2 days from the day. But the more confused thing is… it’s not only me..

                Yeah, someone that I supposed to know.. Someone from SM Entertainment.. Someone who is my dongsaeng since trainee day.. Someone that is a fellow artist from another famous group.. (all of this being told by my members..) shockingly experiences memory loss just in the same time as me!!

                She’s Jung Jessica from SNSD. I supposed to know her (again, according to the members). It’s just weird. And apparently, she’s decided to continue her current work too after hearing my decision from her group members.

                It’s indeed weird and even the company didn’t know what to say and just proceeds with the way we asked them. Even the doctors can’t solve this problem. They didn’t find anything wrong in my brain, also with Jessica’s, as I heard from the members for the countless times already. I felt strange but I can’t hide the relieved for it’s not just me.

I had this sudden urge to see her in person already..

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