Jonghyun’s POV

In the middle of the night, Jonghyun was woken up by a draft coming from the window on the other side the dim bedroom. Why was the window open? It was cold. Rolling over, he noticed someone crouched in the corner, covering his eyes with shaking hands. Soft whimpers cut through the silence.

 Hearing the sound made Jonghyun feel as if a cold, steely hand were clenching his heart in a vice-like grip, ready to tear at any given moment. Key.

 Key’s POV

 Key bolted straight upright in bed, gasping and sweaty. He’d woken up from another nightmare with his pillow over his face. Jonghyun had been laughing in his face, throwing pillows at him until he suffocated. He couldn’t breathe. God, there was no AIR in here. Open the window. Fresh air. I need air.

 Jumping out of bed and sliding up the catch, Key breathed in the cooling night breeze. It was calming, washing away some of his anxiety. When his breathing was less hitched, everything came back to him. Some much for being calm.

 He was glad to be alone when he cried. Maybe if he cried enough, he’d run out of tears. Then maybe he could be happier, nothing left to betray his feelings to Jonghyun.

 He heard Jonghyun stirring under the covers. Was he awake? He held his breath, trying to prevent another squeak from escaping his mouth. Biting his lip, he felt the skin there puncture. Ugh. Blood. Key hated blood. Warm and coppery, it tasted thick and metallic on his tongue.

 He covered his mouth with his trembling fingers, letting his tears slip silently over them.

 Good, he thought, I need to cry. Get rid of all the tears. Get rid of the evidence that I’m weak.

 Key cried until he couldn’t shed another tear. Overcome with exhaustion, he cautiously climbed back into his bed. Good, no more tears. Sleep now.

 Key yawned. He really was tired. Before he went to sleep though, he made a silent vow.

 I won’t give in and tell you how much I love you, Jonghyun hyung. I can’t ruin our friendship. What’s left of it, anyway. You will never know. I won’t surrender.He resolved to keep his feelings from Jonghyun at any cost. Then darkness tugged at the corner of his thoughts, and he met it willingly, falling asleep with a small sigh.

 Jonghyun’s POV

 Jonghyun didn’t know what to think. Suddenly, the cries that Key had been emitting had cut off. He watched him closely, until the younger boy finally got up and went back to sleep.

 I can’t help you if I don’t know how, Key. I feel so useless.

 Why was Key so ornery towards him these days? They used to get along so well, like two peas in a pod.

 Now the two quarreled easily, their arguments quickly building tension between them, accumulating until it seemed like Key could explode at any moment. They were under too much pressure. Key was on high edge most of the time. He was like a grenade ready to be dropped, set off by the slightest thing. And the explosion was usually angry tears. Tears that hurt Jonghyun more than fighting with Key. He felt that he was responsible for the precious boy’s pain. Seeing him cry tore at his heart, making him feel obligated to stop it in any way possible.

 Jonghyun believed that Key was leaking love. Hurt love. Abused love; sliding down his cheek in a glistening capsule of pain.

 Key cared too much.

 And that is why I love you.

 You’re too caught up in caring to notice.

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um things are getting worse but still!

not too bad yet.

yet.