It was the night before you were supposed to come home and Donghae was trying to come up with a goodnight text for you while lying down on the bed. He wanted it to say more than the normal “I love you. Sweet dreams.” especially after what happened. He needed this message to make you feel special since you were coming home, and at the back of his mind, he was hoping it would make it easier for him to tell you what happened.

Throughout the whole day Donghae was feeling extremely guilty and he was constantly debating whether or not to tell you. He knew he had to but he was scared of the consequences that may come after. His biggest fear was that you would get mad at him and leave him; on the other hand, he feared that one day it just may come out and he didn’t want you to think that he was keeping a dirty little secret and then leave him after that. The way Donghae saw it, you were going to break up with him and hate him for the rest of your life. He accepted that depressing conclusion and decided that it was better for you to find out sooner than later so that you would hate him less and he would still be able to be a part of your life.

He was thinking long and hard about how to tell you and when it became too stressful, he went up stairs and got ready for bed. He thought that an idea would come to him through a dream and that it would be something that would somehow make you stay with him. He held on to that hope and got out his phone to text you before going to sleep.

Not being able to think of the right words, Donghae simply typed “Goodnight my love, see you tomorrow.” and went to sleep.

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Donghae found himself lying down on a bench as he opened his eyes to find little kids playing in a park. The place looked familiar but he couldn’t put his finger on it, so he walked around hoping to get an idea of where he was. Not getting any clues, he started to walk back to the bench when he saw a teenage boy running across the field with a soccer ball. He admired the boy as he reminded him of his younger self. Then he saw the boy kick the ball and was completely shocked. He could recognize that type of kick from anywhere…it was his younger self.

Donghae was too confused to even try and comprehend what was going on. He was about to go up to little Donghae when he heard a girl scream. He looked in the direction of where the scream came from and he saw that it was the young you. That’s when it all came to him. It was the first time he had met you from when he accidently hit you in the head while he was trying to kick the ball across the field. Wanting to relive the moment, Donghae just watched as he saw little Donghae trying to apologize as he did a little dance to cheer you up. He laughed as he lightly danced along with the boy. Donghae had never forgotten that goofy little dance since it was something that could always make you smile. Even though it was embarrassing to watch, Donghae stood there as he enjoyed the memory.

The next thing Donghae knew, he was in the same park sitting under a tree with you. Donghae could never forget this scene. It was the first time he had ever “kissed” you. He laughed as he remembered how nervous he was that day. He saw his teenage self struggle to gather up the courage to do something and when you weren’t looking, he sneakily pecked you on the cheek. You looked up in shock but Donghae was already running away from you like the little kid he was. You ran after him and by the time you caught up, he was waiting around a corner with a flower behind his back. He simply smiled at you and held out the flower. Donghae smiled at his younger self, still patting himself on the back for that move. He still thought it was one of the sweetest things a boy could do around that age when asking a girl out, and he knew that it was one of the reasons why you said yes.

Donghae had no idea, but for some reason he was visiting every moment that was significant in your relationship. Not that he was complaining; he enjoyed reliving those memories because it was like a review of all the reasons why you fell in love. He revisited all of your anniversaries and all of the birthdays. He admired the way you looked at each other and he laughed at all the moments you both shared with s. It made him remember what family was about. And that was when he found himself in a cemetery kneeling down in the rain crying. It was right after the funeral of his father and Donghae stayed behind to say goodbye on his own. This moment still brought tears to Donghae’s eyes as he watched himself bow in respect and place an album on his father’s grave. At that moment, it was like everything was muted. All he saw was you placing an umbrella over his head and kneeling down next to him. He saw himself lay his head on your shoulder as he just cried and you tried to comfort him. It was a hard memory but it opened his eyes and made him realize that even in his darkest moment, when he was pushing everyone away, you still stayed by his side because you knew that no matter what, he never wanted to be alone.

There were similar memories like that. Pleasant and painful, Donghae visited them all. He went back to the time where he met your parents, when you met his, when you were almost forced to move to America with your family, even to some concerts and rehearsals. If it was something important that happened in your relationship, then Donghae relived it. That last memory he saw was from 2 months ago when you two were messing around on the staircase. The last thing Donghae saw was him holding you and you saying “Don’t fall in love with anyone else.” It was almost as if those words had punched him because he felt a sudden pain in his chest. Donghae thought that his little time traveling session was over but a few seconds later he found himself at that same spot where you two had met as teenagers. He was older now, and after a minute, Donghae realized that he was staring at current self. He was facing you as he was trying to tell you something, and by the looks of it, it was not something good. However, Donghae couldn’t hear the conversation so he snuck up as close as possible. Even though he had a pretty good idea that he could not be seen at all, he still wanted to be careful. But in the end it was no luck and he just had to watch the scene with no sound.

Donghae could see that you were getting upset and he wanted to go up and hug you, but then he remembered that this self was not actually there. He watched as a young woman approached you two. From the way she walked, Donghae could instantly tell that it was Seung Ah. He watched closely as she came up to him and kissed him on the lips with much passion. His mouth dropped when he saw himself returning the affection right in front of you. He looked to see your reaction and wanted to kill his other self for making you cry like that.

After the kiss was over it was like the volume was turned back on and all he heard was the sound of you slapping him. But for some reason, Donghae felt the pain as he watched his other self receive the slap. He quickly forgot about the pain as he watched you yell at the other Donghae.

He saw the hurt and anger in your eyes, but he also so the lack of care in the other Donghae’s eyes too. “Donghae! How could you do this to me?!”

He waited to see what the other Donghae would say. He saw the man put his arms around Seung Ah’s waist, pulling her closer to him. “Simple. I don’t love you anymore.”

Donghae wanted to punch that other man as he saw you trying to hold back your tears. “What…What do you mean?”

“I mean, I found someone better than you. Seung Ah’s pretty, successful, easy to get along with, and she’s just better than you in every respect.” Donghae wanted to kill that man. He may have had the same face as Donghae, but he refused to believe that it was actually him.

He watched the scene unfold and it came to a part where you were getting furious.

“Give me one reason why you’re doing this?” Donghae could tell that your breathing was becoming uneasy.

The other man put on a face with no shame as he said “I cheated on you and found someone better.”

Donghae watched closely as he waited for your reaction. “Fine…I want nothing to do with you. I don’t want to hear from you, I don’t want to be near you, I don’t even want to see your face. We’re done and I want you out of my life…I…I hate you.”

Those words cut through Donghae like a knife. From the looks of it, Donghae knew that you were also hurting as you said those last words. All Donghae could do was watch as he hoped that the other man would not throw everything away like that. But his hope was shattered when the other man chuckled and simply said “Fine.”

It was clear that you were about to cry and Seung Ah just laughed at you. “Oh sweetie, don’t be upset, especially when this is partly your fault….you know…it’s amazing what can happen when you have a lonely man, a little alcohol, and a little temptation.” After Seung Ah was done talking it was like Donghae could be seen because she looked at him and gave him one of her winks that he now hated.

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Donghae woke up with a cold sweat as he tried to forget that horrible dream. At that moment he promised himself to never be that man he saw and to never be the reason for your tears.

He tried to go back to sleep but he couldn’t. He was too busy worrying about what would happen when you came home. If there was one thing he knew for sure, it was that it would not play out like his dream. He looked back to the better parts of his dream and soon formed a smile on his face. Through all of those scenes, Donghae found another reason not to hurt you. And while replaying the happy images in his head, he remembered one moment in your relationship that helped him figure out how he was going to tell you.