When I opened my eyes, I was confused at first.

Honking horns. Distant screams. Then nothing.

Then everything. 

You see, the thing is, I died in a car crash at the age of twenty, only to wake up seconds later. 

It wasn’t nearly as cliche as all the shows and movies I’ve watched. I didn’t ever see my body, surely bloodied and twisted, half of it in the pavement and the other in the grill of the bus that hit me. I didn’t have a mental breakdown, convinced I was still alive as I haunted my family’s home. 

I woke up at Namsan tower, the place I was supposed to be all along, walls of locks surrounding me on all sides. And I knew immediately that I was dead.

I accepted it easily: my eternal afterlife — despite my momentary confusion.

“I guess this is who I am now,” I remember saying after standing in that place, gazing on over the horizon, for three days straight, the weight of my new life too much to bear. 

That isn’t to say who I was wasn’t worth being. I had a loving family, best friends, the best of friends, even, and the kind of life not worth writing a drama about. Accepted into the college of my choice, I wanted to be a history teacher. A professor’s salary wasn’t bad at all, so I didn’t think I’d have trouble supporting whatever family I’d have in the future. My life was planned out and simple. And, even though I lost it because of a single lie, I didn’t miss it.

I didn’t regret anything. I didn’t ever stop doing something because I was told to. I was a good kid, but I chased my dreams to the point where I was okay with resting then. 

I was okay with being put to rest then.

I never went to my funeral. I never looked for my parents. I avoided the heartbreak, figuring I didn’t have one to break anymore. There was no girlfriend in the picture, so I suppose that made things easier.

At some point, everyone’s history has to end somewhere, and this was my someplace. 

The Namsan tower was my place. 

The origin of my lie. 

“How long are you going to be there?” My mother had asked.

“Just a little bit longer. I’m going to cram a bit more before heading home.” I had answered, a few words of agreement leaving her before she mumbled out a string of words I think are the only thing I miss about being alive.

“Stay safe. I love you.”

The truth is, I skipped out on studying at the library halfway through. Fascinated by the fact that I had the freedom to go wherever I wanted while no one was watching, I was already on a train heading towards Namsan mountain. And it was while wondering the streets, looking for a way up to the famous tower that stared down at my still-growing form from high above my head, that I was struck down.

That I died, just like that.

I had to stay safe, because she loved me. 

I had to stay safe, because there were people that loved me.

A select few of important, precious people had loved me.

Just knowing that had me crawling towards that bright light. Just the whims of a spirit who thought me worthy picked me up and carried me back. Back to Namsan tower, the place I never went. To see the sights I never saw. And from that point on, I’ve been a lie-detecting Xiezhi. 

But, like I said, I don’t have any regrets.

I had people who worried about my safety, because they loved me. 

A family of both blood-relatives and not that loved me. 

“How long are you going to stand here?” 

Were Bang Yongguk’s first words to me, red tail swinging back and forth behind him. He was shorter than me, but that didn’t stop him from speaking informally to me with his hoarse voice, eyes filled with a kind of maturity older than ten times my height. 

“I know a girl about your age.” 

He continued, smiling.

“I still can’t figure her out, unfortunately. You young people these days are too hard to understand. Fortunately, you’re here, so what do you say to letting me practice on you?”

His elbow nudged mine, coaxing a smile from me I couldn’t stop — though I didn’t try.

“Let’s just stay for a little bit longer.” I had said, agreeing with his proposition.

“If we stay any longer, you’ll be missing out on the rest of your, what’s surely a promising, afterlife,” Sora said, poking my ribs with her boney arm. And her words matched so well with Yongguk’s own that day almost two years ago, I couldn’t help but wish they’d been born in the same time period, in the same place. 

That we all were, no matter how annoying Daehyun the Tokebi was being as he hung over Sora’s shoulder like her own, personal windbreaker. Walking farther towards the railing, locks surrounding us on all sides, I made it a point to turn around and stop him from clinging on further — lest I regret this possible heart-warming moment lost with Park Sora.

“No.” I commanded Daehyun, the years of death between us be damned, “You stay.”

He listened, though only because it was “my day” — as he’d tell me later that night. Because today was my “Death Day,” and I deserved to celebrate it the way I wanted, where I wanted, with who I wanted. And I was more than happy to just watch the city disappear over the horizon at Namsan tower with Park Sora.

“Thanks for that.” She gave me a pat on the back, her hand lingering longer than I think she’d meant it too, “You’re a lifesaver.”

I closed my eyes, breathing deep, able to experience my 2nd Deathiversary thanks to her charmingly stubborn, lying-prone ways. Thanks to the spirit I’ll never know who thought I deserved the freedom to experience the world, despite who I was then or who I am now. And the pleasant memories, the past and the present both, piling up sky high, so far above me I couldn't help but stare long and hard, are something I can’t be more thankful for.

With a laugh, I said, “You’re my afterlife’s savior.”

When I opened my eyes, the whole world spread out before me. 

It’s a bit confusing, a little bit more difficult to bear, but I’ve gotten used to it.

And, surprisingly, it feels goods.

As I see Yongguk walking up the steps towards me, worried for me because he cared, because they all love me with both actions and words, I can’t help but smile. I can’t help but smile as I see Youngjae, Himchan, and Jongup not even a step behind him, there no matter the fights we’ve all had in the past or have yet to have in the future.

I’ll never lie; I’m a er for the word “family.”

A/N: A special chapter for our youngest member, Zelo. If you can't tell already, there's going to be a chapter like this for every spirit (Youngjae, Himchan, and Jongup remain!).