What is he? A vacuum cleaner? Proverbially from me not only any words in response to his behavior but also the food I placed out on the table. He acted as though he hadn’t eaten in years. It’s just eggs. Eggs and rice. Yet, there he was going at it, stuffing his face with another spoonful of rice.

“You want to try chewing?” I asked, an eyebrow raised upwards at him. At the Tokebi Jung Daehyun. He looked up, locking eyes with me with a mouthful of rice. “Try not to choke.” Apparently, my little piece of advice didn’t help as he soon began to cough right after.

“It’s been a long time since he’s eaten.” Youngjae explained plainly as he chewed down sophisticatedly, the complete opposite of Daehyun who was eating the food as though I would take it away if he didn’t eat fast enough.

“And Sora’s cooking is the best.” Himchan asserted, not a single inhibition holding him back from declaring such a bold statement that my half-assed cooking for them in which the eggs were slightly burnt and the rice was like sticky paste was the “best.” Still, you can’t get mad at the Gumiho for his unnecessary flattering.

Oh, wait, that’s wrong. I very well can get mad at his absurdity. I simply chose not to. My voice is still gruff from just waking up. Besides, ignoring the flirtatious whims of the Gumiho was the best choice I could make for the sake of my own sanity.

“The best? I wouldn’t say that.” Well, at the very least Mr. Demon, Bang Yongguk, was being honest. “Watching her try to make it though, that,” he pointed his eating utensils at Himchan, as though proving a point, “that was the best.”

No one asked him to eat it. Especially not me. Imagine how excited I was when I woke up this morning and found that grandmother wasn’t home to help Himchan and Yongguk put together a meal for themselves so the two decided to stare me down at the foot of my bed until I woke up from the creepy chills I felt going down my spin. Yeah, waking up like that was the best.

Then, interrupting my oh so excited thoughts, Jung Daehyun asked me the same question he had twice since breakfast began. He upturned his eyes towards me, looking at me disdainfully, “Cook more?” Rather than a question, it sounded more like a command.

Have I been known in the past to cater to their whims? Yes, but not when it was so blatantly requested of me. Especially when, as you probably don’t know, I had cooked two more servings for him already. So don’t “Can I please have some more, sir” me, Jung Daehyun.

I’m done taking orders from the hungry hungry hippo of a Tokebi.

“I thought feeding you was weird.” I questioned him and I must say I was looking forward to his answer. He blinked back blankly in response before looking back down at his empty plate and back up at me.

“I lied.” He replied as he pushed his plate forward, requesting more again.

He lied? Really? So I’m the weird one when it suits you but when you’re hungry and I’m not weird, that’s what’s weird? Does that even make sense? And why am I now standing in front of the stove, cracking eggs apart once more?

“There he is.” Yongguk pointed forward lackadaisically before yawning widely. His eyelids drooped downwards as he and the Gumiho, the Dokkaebi, and the Tokebi waited by his side. All of them, waiting. Waiting for me to make a complete and utter fool of myself. How would I accomplish this all too easily accomplished feat?

Well, the “he” that Mr. Demon just pointed to wasn’t human, if that weren’t already obvious, but it wasn’t a demon either. It wasn’t a spirit either. It was a statue. A statue of a lion. More accurately, a statue of a Haechi. 

Either I’m missing something or they’re messing with me. As much as I’d like to think I’m missing something, I can’t put the latter past them.

I pointed at the statue, not even bothering to hide the discernable annoyance that coated my voice, “You’re serious?”

“When I am not?” Mr. Demon replied, his arms crossed against his chest as he rose an eyebrow. When is he not serious? How about whenever he’s not bored, or not smiling, or lewd in some shape or form? Oh right, he’s always one of those so, when he is not serious? How about all the time?

“We’re not joking around. Why would we lie to you?” The Gumiho bravely stated, sounding as though he took offense to the fact that I didn’t believe them so easily. I only did when Youngjae sighed from next to Himchan and spoke calmly.

“It really is him. It is.” That plus the nod from Daehyun by his side I believe. Despite not hiding my obvious trust in them even in the past, Himchan huffed in a displeased manner.

“You believe them but not us?” He surmised as though it were so surprising it needed to be stated at all.

Can you call me crazy for believing the more believable two of the group? I wouldn’t think so. Would you call me crazy for actually feeling bad that Himchan was practically fuming at the fact that I was dismissing him as an untrustworthy person, err, spirit? I guess it’s certifiable then, I’m crazy.

I’ll just peel him a few tangerines tonight, something that had surely become something he loved for me to do. I would apologize then maybe lecture him a bit, but overall, that’s how I would apologize to him. Is that weird? Then I guess I’m weird and crazy. There’s simply no way I’ll be showing him affection in front of all of them. I’d be willingly giving Mr. Demon ammunition I’d rather not have to deal with hearing later.

“What time is it?” Speak of the devil, or rather, the devil spoke. Mr. Demon, Bang Yongguk, asked Youngjae, he himself knowing who was the most responsible out of all four of them.

“A minute to five.” Youngjae answered as he checked the watch around his wrist, a watch that he always wore, something I only noticed just now. What’s that? I should be wondering about it? Wondering why he’s wearing it and what it means to him and try to get him to tell me about his past? Why? I’m not his psychiatrist. I’m not his therapist. I certainly am not the best at making people feel better. Why stick my nose where it didn’t belong?

“Any second now, he always will be punctual.” Yongguk laughed to himself, another mystery about these demons and spirits presenting itself to me. And once more, I didn’t question it. We weren’t close enough for me to do so. The chances of me ever being close enough to them to talk about Himchan’s complex about being ignored, about Daehyun’s addiction to food, about Youngjae’s watch, and Yongguk’s own inner thoughts that were buried so deep in the muck of the gutter that I didn’t want to dig them out, were miniscule.

No, the chance of that was so far from zero it was riding down a negative slope.

And while I was preoccupied, or rather not at all preoccupied, thinking about the four otherworldly beings in front of me, I didn’t notice what was going on behind me. What was going on behind me with the statue of a Haechi I was just looking at previously. A statue that stood on a pillar in front of this Joseon temple on the outskirts of Seoul in a woodland area. I wouldn’t have ever noticed it either if not for Himchan grumbling complaints as he walked forward and gripped me by the shoulders, forcing me to turn and look.

Look at what?

Look as the statue changed color, the off color gray of stone cracking. Cracking like a snake shedding its skin, revealing beneath a wisp of yellows and greens. Yellows and green that spread out like a fire erupting from beneath the cracking stone before it died down, concentrating its whirling flames into a solid form. A solid form that revealed itself beneath the now shed gray rock coating.

The form being the thick body of the mythological half dog half lion creature that was the Haechi staring me down with its large red-toned eyes. I never was the type to shy away from horror movies. I never was the type to squeal or squirm in my seat at the sight of blood but this, this was terrifying. Yet, terrifying only for a second because that feeling soon faded away as there was another burst of colors and the wisps flew into every direction, dispersing to reveal a Haechi no longer but a boy.

A boy with a passive expression as he sat upon the low stone pillar where the Haechi statue once stood. His hands gripped down onto the edge of the pillar, his fingers tightening around it as he dipped his head back, stretching his arms and his upper body. A low groan was produced from his lips. A groan of satisfaction from being able to engage in the action after being, well, a stiff as a statue for a unknown period of time. Unknown to me anyway.

I was rendered speechless by the events that just took place in front of me. Any normal person would have been. The sight failed to faze the demon and three spirits that stood behind me however, something I was grateful for. Otherwise, I would have continued to stand there slack jawed like the Scream painting, pale faced and all.

“Long time no see, Jongup.” Bang Yongguk moved past me, approaching the Haechi named Jongup, I presume, before giving him what I would say was an undeserving slap on the leg. “How’s it feel to be up and around again?”

That was the first time I had heard the Haechi’s voice and while it wouldn’t be the last, it would also be the first of many times I laughed at the sound of it, “I had heard you were requesting my presence. You are prone to pull tricks so I did not believe you would truly be here to greet me.”  

That did it. That caused me to have to stifle back a laugh at the formality and overall complex way he utilized his words and strung together his sentences. Look, he’s even having an effect on me. Shall I commence in such speech from now on? Challenge rejected. I’d really rather not. It’s too much for me to do without sounding horribly awkward. But, with this Haechi and his natural ability to speak this way, I’m looking forward to the future conversations we’ll have.

“Jongup!” I was suddenly pushed forward by Himchan whom still had his hands on my shoulders, something I had forgotten about. I promptly swatted them off after he finished pushing me towards the Haechi who now regarded me with a calm look in his eyes. “Meet Sora! She’s the old man’s granddaughter. Isn’t she pretty?”

Pretty? I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been called pretty in my life. On the other hand, pun intended, I can count with my fingers and toes how many times the Gumiho has regarded me as such since I’ve met him.

Also, I’d like to take note that “old man” seems to be the title my grandfather is known by amongst these four. Well, five considering the look of recognition Jongup had on his face.

Jongup diverted his eyes away from me, his voice questioning a certain Tokebi behind me, “Is she pretty?”

Daehyun’s arms fell from across his chest, utter surprise spreading across his face at the question, “What? Why are you asking me?”

“Your judgment is trustworthy when it comes to the appearances of women.” Jongup answered back seriously, not a hint of joking in his voice. The Tokebi clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth before he caught sight of me looking at him.

To say I wasn’t curious would be a complete lie. It’d be interesting if he said yes, that’s all. What other intentions would I have?

Daehyun rolled his eyes, not at all helping his chances of never being er punched by me in the future, “She’s not.”

“She’s not interested in demons and spirits.” Youngjae spoke up, repeating that sentence again.

Yes.

That’s right.

I’m not.

His assertion of it so many times was enough to irk me a bit, though. I mean, I get it. I’m the one who said it so of course I understand it. He’s making it sound as though that truth is otherwise untrue.

“Then, I assume you are not here about tribute. Though, I do not accept such a thing anyway.”

Jongup said that word I had heard so many times before, “tribute,” and I saw the smile of Bang Yongguk beside him grow large. Quit that, Mr. Demon, before I have to smack it off of your face myself.