Chapter 4 – The Deal

Krystal’s POV

“That is the reason why you’re in Korea. You transferred from Harvard to Seoul just to see Soojung. You followed her all the way across the globe, but didn’t even face her after finding her.” I heard Key told Amber.

Amber… She… She followed me in Korea? All this time she’s always been near me and I didn’t even find her? All this time I’ve been thinking that she’s far away from me already and I couldn’t do anything but forget her, and yet she’s just so near to me?

Why Amber?

“I was afraid.” I heard Amber answer Key.

Fear. I remembered when I broke up with her, it was out of fear of my parents and of how people would think if they knew about my relationship with Amber. Out of fear, I swiftly ended up with a decision all by myself to end our relationship. I love Amber… so much, but not as much as my fear. Amber’s my first in almost everything. I consider her as my first love, my first girlfriend… the first person, who made me feel so loved aside from my family. I mean, the way she made feel loved, cared, needed... it’s different from how my family made me feel like. She’s also the very first person whom I surrendered everything in me.

Despite our love for each other, the fear that we both have overtook us. After coming into my senses, I realized that I hurt her big time. I didn’t take time to ask her about her opinion and just made a decision myself. It seemed like I neglected her very presence. I neglected our relationship.

My heart seemed to stop when I Key bluntly asked her, “Do you still love her?”

I thought to myself if I should still be listening to them. Shall I stop eavesdropping and walk back to the bus and act as if nothing happened? A part of me is afraid, once again, that Amber already had a change of heart. But I couldn’t help but expect that there’s still something in her that can somehow bring back the relationship we’ve had.

Shall I continue listening and wait for her answer?

Shall I stop this because I don’t want to hear her tell Key that she no longer loves me?

I was so confused that I ended up doing nothing until my feet froze, heart stopped beating, and with my eyes enlarged, when I heard Amber’s answer. “Of course I do. I never stopped doing so.”

Her words were music to my ears. And those same words bring me to tears and made me feel so weak, but happy.

As I heard them finish their conversation and so heard footsteps approaching the door, I quickly hid myself.

I then saw Key went out of the tent. To my surprise he stopped when he’s almost in front of me. “Next time you eavesdrop, choose a better hiding place Soojung. You’re so obvious. I think there really is just something in nerds that make them somehow stupid in some things. Or maybe she's just pretending that she didn’t see you. I don’t know. You’re the one who knows her better.” After that, he took a few steps but stopped once again. “And oh, just think of it as a help from me. I hope that helped your heart decide on some things.” He said without turning his head to look at me. He then left and went in the bus to have some rest I think.

I took a couple of breaths to calm myself down before going into the tent. As I got inside, I saw her back facing me. She’s staring at the blackboard where the map of the island was posted, while holding a couple of papers in her left hand and a marker on her right.

I slowly walked towards her and saw her serious eyes covered by black-rimmed specs, which made her face look more handsome. She used to wear those big, thick glasses before, and then I convinced her to try contacts.

While walking silently towards her, my mind made another debate on how to start a conversation with her. Shall I act like I didn’t hear anything earlier? Or shall I confront her for not telling me that she followed me all the way in Seoul? But wouldn’t she be the first one who should confront me about our past, since I was the one who left first?

After much mulling over, I ended up with a lame statement, “You still haven’t changed. You’re still a workaholic.” I mentally facepalmed myself with such statement I ended up into. It just sounds like I’ve always known what kind of person she is. It just brings back the past that I don’t know if she’s fine going back into.

She turned her head to look at me, who’s already a few steps away from her. I flashed a nervous smile to somehow compensate with my words, which looked rather offensive.

She then averted her attention back to the papers as she adjusted her glasses, which slid down a bit on the bridge of her nose.

“I’m just making an escape plan if things come out of hand. It’s better than being caught unprepared.”

I walked further and stopped when I was standing beside her. I just watched her with whatever she’s doing. It feels so nostalgic. I used to watch her do things like these too, even though I never really understood anything. Watching her so caught up and focused in things like these, her serious eyes and face, her silence, and finally, her smile once she finally figured out something or solved a puzzle she made for herself; these things about her that people didn’t see on her, I saw all of them. And I loved them.

I think I’ve been staring at her intently for quite a long while that it made her feel uncomfortable, and looked at me. Before, she’d always smile at me no matter how busy she was or immersed she was in whatever she’s doing. But now, she only looked at me and then returned to what she’s doing.

I never knew it’s going to be this painful… being ignored by a person who used to see nobody but you.

“I’ll get you out of here.” She spoke before pulling off the cap the marker to write something on the map.

As the tip of the marker was about to make contact with the map, I held her wrist and made her face me. “I’m not leaving this island without you.” I told her. My eyes are piercing through her glasses to meet her eyes. With full determination, I repeated my words, “I’m not leaving… if you’re not with me.”

… If you’re not with me.

If I considered that sentence five years ago, I wonder if we’ll ever end up in this situation. If she’s not with me, I feel so empty.

“Soojung-ah…”

As I was brought back to my own senses, I noticed that I was already gripping too tightly on her wrist. I let go of her wrist and saw her recapped the marker before putting it on the table beside the blackboard. The papers she’s holding came next.

The next thing I knew is that she’s standing in front of me. She then gently pulled me into a comforting embrace.

Being enwrapped by her arms, my tears unconsciously flowed down my face. I buried my face on the crook of her neck to somehow suppress my sobs as I returned her hug. I then felt her lightly tapped my back as she tried to hush my sobs.

This… The simple things that she does like this made me fall for her so hard. I might be strong on the outside, but she saw how vulnerable I was inside. Her presence made me whole. And I can’t believe I just let go of that important piece of me because of my own fears… of my selfishness.

“I’ve missed you so much Princess.”

“I missed you too.” I replied as I tighten my hold onto her.

She pulled out of the hug and held my shoulders before cupping both of my cheeks, wiping away the tears that have been freely flowing with her thumbs. After I stopped my sobbing, I held those hands that are holding me and gave them a light squeeze before looking through her eyes.

“Amber… I… I l-lo…” Before I finish my sentence, she moved her right hand and put the tip of her index finger on my lips.

“Shh…” I was confused as to why she didn’t let me finish my words. “Don’t…” She told me as she gave me a weak smile that somehow assures me that everything is alright.

“But…”

“It’s not the right time yet Princess.”

“But why? You love me. You still love me!” I slightly raised my voice, not realizing that I just spilled to her that I heard her conversation with Key earlier. Recognizing my mistake, I immediately apologized. “I… I didn’t mean to eavesdrop earlier.” I explained as I looked at the ground we’re standing at.

To my surprise she, once again, pulled me into a hug. “It’s alright. I just want you to be sure this time. If ever we really get back together, I want you to be certain of your feelings. It’s not that I doubt you Krys. Let’s just say that once you told me those words… I will never let you go… ever.”

I was lost for words with her sudden confession to me. Well at least to me, it sounded like a confession and a proposal at the same time.

“But for now, we’ve got to make sure that we’ll get out of this island alive.” She then held my shoulders once again to take a look at me.

“Amber, we’ve…” A voice said, causing us to both look at the entrance of the tent and saw Dr. Yoo holding a, what seemed to me, a phone. “Oh, sorry… Looks like you’re into a serious talk. I’ll just…”

“No it’s okay Dr. Yoo. That information seems to be important.” Amber cut him as she pulled back her hands to her side. “Right Krystal?”

“Ah, yeah…”

“Well… uhh… We were able to contact the nearest rescue team in Japan. Their coast guard is now on their way to us. They also informed us that the Marianas Islands are also having mild earthquakes like ours. The tsunami that hit us also reached Japan but their defenses were