"Take care of yourself, son."

"Thank you for the dinner, mom," he bowed before his mother and gave her hand a kiss like a gentleman. She ruffled his hair in appreciation.

Yunho got in his car, fired the ignition, and took one last look at his family before driving away. It's 1am and the roads are almost deserted. He his radio and hummed along, enjoying the smooth drive home. The management agreed to give him and Changmin a week of break; they have just wrapped up their album tour and weren't able to sleep properly for months. The tour was a succes though, and Yunho couldn't ask for more.

No, I do.

It was just a brief moment but it was enough to bring back loneliness. At the end of the concert, a video was played highlighting TVXQ's success through the years. It was supposed to strengthen the fans' love and support for the two, but Yunho's heart stopped when the faces of the three ex-members appeared for a millisecond.

"It can't be helped, the five of them stuck to each other like glue back then!" the person who made the vtr reasoned out wearily when manager-hyung berated on his millisecond fault. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

I want it to happen again. Yunho searched the patch of sky through the windshield. There it is, Cassiopeia. W. The five shining stars. Five. Not two. DBSK, the rising gods of the east. Nostalgia came over Yunho as he recalled happier days before the group broke apart.

Then there were bright headlights. A fast approaching car. A long drawling honk. Yunho jammed his foot on the pedal but was surprised that the car surged forward instead.

Shoot! Metal on metal. He took a very sharp turn to the right as the other car spinned sideways to the other direction, tires screeching loudly. Yunho's car crashed into a tree on the side of the street. The engine died. The airbag suffocated him and he can feel pain on his chest and head. He slowly reached for his forehead and was shocked to see blood on his hand. Yunho dislodged himself carefully out of the car to survey the accident. Miraculously his car was spared from major damage by the huge roots of the rain tree, preventing him from hitting the trunk and from possible death. The left side though was wrecked during the crash with the other car.

The other car! Yunho ran towards the other side of the street, noticing that the house nearby has its lights. Oh shoot, oh shoot, what will I do!? The car crashed into a construction site, and a long metal bar had pierced through the backshield. The left side was wrecked where it hit with Yunho's car, and the front smashed into an unfinished concrete landing. It was a total wreck and Yunho was frightfully sure that no one can survive it.

Crap, this is bad. Shoot. Not good, must get out of here! Yunho backed away and started to run, taking in the accident one last time when his eyes passed through the open driver's door. His heart stopped beating in an instant just as he stopped running. It was covered thick in blood but Yunho knows that face well. Jaejoong!

He was transfixed on the spot, unable to move, unable to take his eyes off Jaejoong's helpless state. He was torn as to what to do. What if he's still alive? I have to bring him to the hospital! He was about to go to Jaejoong when he heard someone coming. He sprinted into the shadows, away from the wrecked car, just as he saw beams of light roving around the scene. He heard a curse as the stranger realized the gravity of the accident, and saw the person run towards the car. Yunho took the chance to slip out quickly and silently. I'm sorry, Jaejoong. He hurriedly revved up the engine and pulled his car out of the huge roots and away from the scene.

***

Yoochun turned to the other side of the bed and lazily reached for his phone. It has been ringing non-stop for minutes; he tried to ignore it but it started getting on his nerves. Let this be not fans. And certainly not a drunk Jaejoong please. He pushed the phone to his ear and received the call.

"Hello-"

"Yoochun-ssi, Jaejoong got in an accident."

Yooochun sat up in an instant. He can feel alarm and fright in the caller's voice, which sounded vaguely familiar. "Who's this? This better be not a prank or else-"

"You have to hurry now!"

***

It was 3am when Yunho arrived in the flat he shared with Changmin. The house showed no sign of life, and Yunho tiptoed inside warily. He had covered his car with a tarp and cleaned his face in the garage washroom, just in case Changmin is still awake.

Changmin is definitely asleep. Yunho can hear snores drifting out of his bandmate's room door which was ajar. He can also see a packet of chips and a can of soda on the bedside table. Yunho collapsed on his bed, too shaken and tired of what just happened. He put his arm over his eyes as tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"Yunho-yah."

Yunho knew that voice. He put his arm on his chest and blinked at the bright sunlight. His vision is still blurry but he can see a face hovering before his. That face.

"Yunho-yah," the voice called softly.

"Jaejoongie," Yunho replied forlornly, touching the smiling face that was slowly getting clearer in front of him. "Jaejoongie, it's you."

"Yes, Yunho-yah," Jaejoong smiled as he gently carressed Yunho's face. He pushed Yunho's hair back from his forehead and leaned forward. "It's me," his delicate hands turned rough as it went around Yunho's neck and started strangling the other man.

"J-Jaej-joongie-!" Yunho gasped for air. He tried pulling off Jaejoong' hands from his neck but the latter just choked him tighter.

"You left me!" Jaejoong's gentle voice now seethed with anger. Blood started appearing across his forehead and over the right side of his face and his lips turned pale. He closed his hands tighter around Yunho's neck.

Yunho struggled to free himself, air slowly running out. Jaejoong's hands have become cold and clammy, and Yunho can feel blood dripping down the former's arms and chin. He can feel his strength leaving.

"You will pay for this!" Jaejoong's voice was monstrous and unlike his own, and Yunho's vision started to dim. "Your fault! Your fault! Your fault!"

"No!" Yunho woke up with a start, brightness blinding his unadjusted vision. He reached for his neck and gave out a sigh when he felt nothing. It was just a dream. He put his head in his hands and screwed his eyes shut. Jaejoong's bloody face swimmed in his head, his unconscious body wedged in the wrecked car. The scene is burned behind Yunho's eyelids, a reminder of his guilt and cowardice. The feeling of loss is nothing new to him. He encountered it for the first time when Jaejoong, Yoochun, and Junsu left the group, and Yunho wandered aimlessly for months. And here it is again, the worst sensation anyone could ever feel. I failed him again.

***

Yunho stared at the television intently as the reporter announced Kim Jaejoong's amnesia. In the blink of an eye, without further elaboration, the report ended. Yunho leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes.

I'm sorry, Jaejoong.