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The Red Candle
Sehun stirs awake from a dreamless sleep. Yixing is right next to his bed, checking his pulse with a lethargic look on his face. A spasm of nausea hit him and Sehun wobbles over the side of the bed, dumping what is left of last night's meal out of his system.
Feeling like all his life was drained out of his body, Sehun falls back into bed, empty-minded. He couldn't feel his left leg,and his other right was wrapped in white, dreadful casts. Sehun resists the urge to touch his stomach, afraid of the somber reality. There was nothing left to dwell on. Nothing but ashes of the past and the gloomy future awaiting him, like a curse eating away the remains of his flesh. And his soul, it was gone the moment his body belongs to someone else.
The moment Yixing becomes aware of Sehun's consciousness, a grimace swept across his features.
"Oh My goodness! Your highness! You nearly killed me there! How could you be so stupid? The baby could've died. Why didn't you just ask the maids to get you what you needed? Do you know how mad the King could have been? He would be enraged! He would kill all of us! He would kill you!"
Sehun winced at the remark. He was too fatigue already to take in all the new information. Yixing was right. He couldn't have been more reckless.
It takes more than five second for it to register in Sehun's mind that the baby is still alive. His heart skips a beat, tears start to glisten at the corners of his eyes. And the first time in the two months that he has been in this hell, Sehun felted relieved. Assured, even.
"Calm down, Yixing. I'm fine." Sehun groans at the sharp pain pounding in his head. He tried to stretch his legs, uncomfortable being immobile in bed, but no avail. Yixing could have healed him effortlessly, yet Sehun found himself broken beyond repair.
"No, you are not fine. You look paler than these sheets, your Highness."
Sehun stays silent. There is nothing for him to say. Would it make any difference if he had survived, Sehun wonders. Tears starting to form beneath tired eyelids, Sehun straightens up and heads for the door. He needs some fresh air and the suffocating silence is choking him.
"... I know this is not what you want. None of us has expected this to happen. But the King, he is very happy. When news came out that the Queen would not be able to bear him a child, he was devastated. There was no life in him back then. It was all drinking and hunting and sending troops to conquer other worlds. Many have died in pointless wars. Until you came along. He began to change. He changed for you."
Not looking back, Sehun drones out the other's comforting words. It's not like Yixing can make him feel any better. After all, a slave is a slave, kept like a soulless toy for the comfort and pleasures of the living. After all, he is only property. There is no such need to sugarcoat that fact.
"I-I did not mean to fall. It just happened." Sehun says, eyes fixed on the vase of roses sitting on the bedside table and suddenly he feels like all his insides are coiling with pain.
He misses Kai dearly.
If only the other could have felt what he felt. Ever since news came out that he bears the blessed child of the kingdom, Kai has been evidently avoiding him. He hasn't seen the other for weeks. Months, at worst. Every morning Kai would leave a rose on his bed and nothing else. No words said. No kisses. No hugs. No touches that send Sehun off his feet. For Sehun, Kai's cold shoulder hurt more than falling off the stairs. But there is nothing he can do to save their relationship.
"Then it should not happen again. Sehun-ah, there are some people out there who would die to be in your place. Be careful." Yixing said before closing the door behind him, leaving Sehun in abject silence.
Sehun sighs, musing over such a good life he has been living. If this is a life anyone would die for, then, Sehun thinks, he would be so much better off as a lowlife peasant.
---
"Kai..."
Sehun croaks in the midst of ragged breaths and winter snow. The biting cold numbs his fingers, but the warmth of Kai's back against his chest is enough to give him strength.
"It's been so long..." He whispers.
They're outside in the gardens again, but nothing else matters when Kai is here, with him, together like this. It feels nice and comforting and it sends all his fears away. It doesn't matter that anyone could see them like this and report back to the King. It doesn't matter if he dies a thousand deaths. Nothing else matters when Kai is around.
"Your Highness, what are you doing out here, in this dirty place? You should be back behind the safety of those walls; we wouldn't want you tripping on these dandelions and hurting the blessed offspring." Kai says coldly, his icy glare sends bolts of guilt throughout Sehun's whole being.
Did he do anything wrong? Is he not good enough? Sehun begins to panic as Kai shakes him away more vigorously.
"Kai, w-what are you talking about? I-Idon't understand." He stammers, tripping over his words, tripping over his own heartbeat. It doesn't make sense to him why Kai is being like this. It hurts him more than anything to see Kai in ragged clothes, dirt all over his face from all the work he has to do. And now, when Kai pushes him away without looking him in the eye, Sehun feels like the world is crumpling down on him full force.
"I am trying to do my work, your Highness. Please leave." Kai turns away and picks up a shovel. Sehun's breath hitches in his throat. He can't breathe. He can't feel his own hands shivering at his sides. And what hurts more than all those times trying to suppress his tears, he can't look into Kai's eyes and demand an answer.
"Do you know how I feel, when I tripped on those stairs? Do you know how I feel, when those people tried to hurt me over and over again? I thought of you. I thought of how you have healed my pains, how you would always make things better. I thought of your comforting smiles and your sweet voice. When he used me and broke me beyond repair, you fixed me. And when I feel like dying, you bring me back up on my feet. When I feel like there is no reason to continue on living, you become my reason. Jongin-ah, I love you. I love you more than I love myself. Without you I am nothing. I hate this thing that is coming in between us. Please don't leave me...If this parasite inside my body is a prick in your eyes, then I would end this. I would end it all..." As Sehun's knees give in, he falls to the ground in a sobbing mess. The influx of emotion takes his strength away.
Before long, Sehun feels a pair of familiar arms wrapped around his body. As Kai hugs him in the darkness of the might, the warmth radiating from the other's chest puts him at ease.
Tears staining the other's already stained shirt, Sehun wraps his arms tightly around Kai,not letting him go. He suddenly feels the urge to hold the other like this, like he would be snatched away any moment. Sehun is on a fragile string, trapped between life and death and all the dangerous things. But he can't risk to lose Kai.
As they share a soft kiss under the moonlight, the world stops spinning and time stops ticking. Sehun wishes they could stay like this forever.
The sound of footsteps thumping against concrete startles them and when Sehun looks up, he was being dragged away from his lover by the castle guards. There were two burly guys handling Kai in a harsh manner that tightens Sehun's chest. He thrashes and flails and screams, but finds himself too weak to break away from the bonds. Why doesn't Kai teleport away? Doesn't he know he could be sentenced to death?
Heart racing. Blood boiling. Adrenaline kicking in, Sehun elbows the guy on his left and kicks the one on his right in the stomach. But before he can get to Kai who is grimacing from pain, a calloused hand grips Sehun's arm, too tight for comfort.
Sehun looks up into the furious eyes of the mighty King, burning with anger and jealous, and suddenly he realizes how soon he will be meeting his doom.
"I want him hanged at sunrise." Kris says nonchalantly to the guard on his left as he looks Kai up and down. His grip on Sehun's arm tightens and the younger yelps in pain.
"No! Let him go!" Sehun screams on top of his lungs. Kai sends him a sad look.
Why don't you teleport, Sehun mouths the words, afraid of letting the King know of Kai's powers.
I can't leave you, Kai mouths back and Sehun can see the pain in his eyes.
Sehun doesn't stop crying when they drag Kai away feom his fingerips. He doesn't stop crying when Kris throws him into the main chambers, tears off his clothes and throws them into a messy heap on the cold tiles floor. Kris is fuming with perilous anger and Sehun knows it doesn't end well. But he keeps trying.
"Please, Your Majesty, please don't do this. If anyone should take the blame, then it's me. Please spare his life. Please..." Sehun grabs at the other's legs, bawling and shaking and throwing away what is left of his so called dignity.
Nothing else matters, he thinks, the image of Kai sitting alone in the dungeons before his death stabbing at his heart.
And he is all to blame.
"Have I not done enough for you? Have I treated you too well? I feed you. I give you clothes. I give you shelter when even your own kind throws you away like a piece of trash. You're unwanted. Yet I take you in and give you all the riches in the world.Is that not enough? Is that why you go around sleeping with lowlife men whose life I can take away at a snap of my fingers?" Kris yells, shaking Sehun away.
"Please, just kill me. Leave him alone. It's all my fault. He has no part in this. It's all me. Please let him go..." Sehun pleads, the tears in his eyes blinding his vision.
Sehun cries as he drifts back and forth between dreams and reality, the door closes on him with a click.
All good things come to an end.
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