painless
The Red Candle
As time flies by, stopping for nothing behind its path, Sehun feels it eating away his patience.
He waits and waits, dreamless days and sleepless nights looking for something that he could never see, reaching for something he could never touch. And when he wakes up the next day, the person he longs for is not there. The life inside his body is the liveliness out of him, sometimes Sehun feels like dying, like giving up, but he knows what's killing him is the exact thing that's keeping him alive.
Luhan would come on stormy days, showing him the battlefield on the other side of the world. The crystal ball glistens in the dark, vague but sharp, full but empty. It reminds Sehun of his home, of the people who died in vain and the destruction caused on both sides. Of the blood spilt over gold and silver, of falling knights and dying dragons. The war went on months and months and finally there is no hope left. No one won. No one refused to lose either.
He should be happy. Vengeance is done. Sorania gets what it deserves.
But when Sehun looks at his own reflection in the mirror, the swelling stomach reminding him of who he is and where he should be, the triumph shatters into nothingness. He can't be more devastated than he already is.
"Good Morning." A boy came into his chamber one day. Sehun startles when he realizes it's not Yixing.
"My name is Baekhyun." The boy scoots closer and daps a wet towel over Sehun's forehead. He helps Sehun change his clothes and gives him food, but Sehun can't fathom why the other's features are nowhere as sharp and foreign as a Soranian's. The boy has thick eyeliner encasing his dark brown orbs, a delicate nose and extremely pale complexion. That's when realization hits and Sehun gasps in astonishment.
"Yo-You're a Ventanian!"
The boys raises an eyebrow, "You can tell?"
The moment that nostalgic dialect hits his ears, Sehun bursts into tears. It's been so long since he has seen a person from his nation, having his traits, speaking his language. He once forgot the melodious voice of his mother, and that of his father, and that of everyone else in his kingdom, but now everything is coming back like a tidal wave. Sehun bawls into Baekhyun's shoulder, not caring a single thing.
"How are my parents? How is...everybody?" Sehun chokes on his own tears as dread begins to crawl its way into his heart.
"They're fine, my prince. What you should be worried about is yourself." Bekhyun says slowly, fingers drawing circles on Sehun's lean back. He pats Sehun's head lovingly, touching the grey hairs sticking out of the brown mass.
"It should come out soon..." Sehun says suddenly.
Day 270. Sehun counts every minute and every second of the day, watching as time slips through his fingers, agonizingly slow. He got shut out from the rest of the world, the only source of light being the little crack on the blood-tinted windows. Sehun wonders how long it would take for him to lose his mind, but surprisingly he has endured long enough. Ten days. Ten more days until the pain is gone.
"It's a blessing! Not a curse. It's a gift from heaven above. You should be very happy, my prince. This is a blessed child, the bridge between two nations." As Baekhyun's eyes glisten with bliss, Sehun swallows the lump forming in his throat.
"Do you know anything about..."
"Kai? He disappeared. No prison wall can stop him." Baekhyun said bluntly, missing the sparkle in Sehun's eye. The spark of hope pulls on his heartstrings, bringing tears of joy to his eyes.
"Thank goodness he's okay." He blurts out in pure happiness, not caring If Luhan could hear him. Not caring if Luhan could take it away from him again.
"But...my prince...Why him?" Baekhyun frowns in confusion. The boy snaps a finger, and flares of bright lights flood the room from his palm. Sehun squints his eyes at the sudden influx of brightness.
"You wouldn't understand." Sehun whispers softly, barely enough for both of them to hear.
"No, I don't understand, Kai is not just any gardener, my prince. He was once an aristocrat. He was the second son of the mighty queen. He could have been a king too, if Wu Fan hadn't been chosen." Baekhyun sounds serious, but Sehun can't let that interfere with the remainings of his hope.
"You're lying. He has no connections with the Soranian royal blood. It-it's impossible."
"I would not lie to you. Ever. I have been here long enough to know that Kai is not to be messed with."
"Then how...then how is he a peasant?"
Sehun doesn't understand how it is what it is. Confusion grips his heart, and Sehun doesn't want to listen to the truth.
"I cannot tell you that."
"Baekhyun! this is an order." Sehun growls. The crisp wind gathers around them, sending piles of dust flying across the room. The blood-tinted windows creeks, breaking into shards of glass onto the floor. Baekhyun's eyes widen at the swirls of dried leaves hanging in the air beside his feet.
"I'm sorry, my prince. Luhan will hear!"
The petrified look on Baekhyun's face brings Sehun to his senses. As he calms down, so does the wind. falling down on his knees, Sehun breaks down into a sobbing mess again.
"I just want to know if he is okay..." Sehun croaks in between soundless sobs.
"As I said, you should be more worried about yourself." Baekhyun doesn't look to see the hurt in Sehun's eyes. He glances at the mess Sehun has caused, wondering what has just happened himself.
The end is near. He can feel it.
Sehun remembers the pain, the ripping through his body and his heart, tearing him in half. He was biting his lips too hard that they bled, iron tasting bitter in his mouth. Yixing had to put a white washed cloth into his mouth to prevent him from biting his tongue. It was unbearable. The weight. The pressure. The blood. And Sehun went through it all without a complain.
Maybe it's a price he had to pay. For wrongdoings of his, and if not, his ancestors. It's his fate. And if he died, it wouldn't be in vain.
And truthfully, Sehun wished he could die right there. As long as the baby lives. It would have been so much easier to die before the pain becomes too much to bear. There was just nothing else to live for. If the baby survived, he or she could have been a great ruler, brought up in wealth and destined for greatness. If Sehun survived, it wouldn't make much of a difference.
Somewhere along the lines, Sehun lost his sight in the midst of crying. It was a dreamless sleep. But he didn't die.
When Sehun wakes up and sees sunlight, relief is not the thing that first comes to mind. Sehun watches as Yixing cradles a bundle in his arms. Soft wails emit from the child, but his eyes are too dry to let out a single tear. He can't think. The emotions build up into heaps, burying him in it until it's too much to handle. Sehun grips at his chest where it hurt.
Sehun glimpses at the little angel, surprised at how much he resembles Kris. It's all in the eyes, the fire burning with passion and determination.
"He has your nose," Sehun can hear Kris say to him, laughing in joy. Sehun can see the King holding the baby with care, a smile dangling on his lips. He will grow up to be a great man, like his father. He would soon learn to train a dragon and ride the wind. They would be together to the very end. Like they're a real family, a normal family without the hatred passed down through generations and the war etched onto the back of their minds. Sehun can see it all happening like it's really there.
But it's all in his head.
Sehun reaches out for the baby in Yixing's arm. He thinks of how he could name the child and guide him through his first baby steps. But a hand shoots out and snatches the bundle away from him in a heartbeat.
Sehun screams as Luhan holds the baby up, a satisfied smirk plastered on his face.
"Oh look! Isn't he such a cutie," Luhan coos, rocking his child back and forth. Sehun feels the tears burning in his eyes, rage boiling in the pit of his stomach.
"Give him back to me!" Sehun screams at the top of his lungs, but all that came out was barely a whisper. There was no strength left in him to fight back. It was hazy and the effect of the drugs were still in his system. Gathering all that is left, Sehun lungs forward, trying to reach out for his son, his last spark of hope. His knees buckle and Sehun falls headfirst onto the ground, his body going numb.
Everything that's been keeping him alive for the past nine months, Luhan now takes away. Sehun watches as Yixing yells in protest. Luhan snaps a finger and the guards flood in, dragging Yixing away too. The mighty queen sends a pity look at Sehun's direction.
"I'm sorry for what you have done, Sehun. But I will raise him well. He will be king of Sorania as soon as he turns five. He's destined for greatness." Luhan says with a smirk. Sehun's eyes darken.
"Kris is dead. We lost the war. I am the ruler now."
And Sehun sees it. The ocean stained with blood, rotting and devastating. The knights and dragons drowned in black water, struggling for a way out. Death glooms in the air, just like it did when Ventania lost the war. It seems all too familiar.
As his world crashes down, the wind starts to pick up. Sehun rises to his feet; the wind collects into a makeshift tornado in his palms. Sehun doesn't stop to marvel at his own powers.
"Give. him. back." Sehun growls, his throat burning with anger. The puff of wind grows into a hungry tornado, turning the room upside down. "If you touch a hair on him, I will be sure that you die a painful death."
Suddenly, a puff of black smoke explodes in the middle of the room right next to where Luhan is standing. It doesn't take long for Sehun to take in the lush black hair, the prominent chin and the dark complexion of the figure materializing from the mist. Confusion fills his mind as realization hits.
Kai. The name rings about a familiar touch. Smirking, Luhan reaches out and caresses the soft on Kai's back, and it confuses Sehun even more.
The tornado dies out into nonexistence. Sehun crouches down, all of his life out of him. He looks into Kai's eyes, searching for an explanation. But Kai just smirks, the same way Luhan would do.
Betrayal hurt. Baekhyun's words ring through his mind as Kai cups his chin, lifting his face to look at him. There was no love in Kai's eyes. All Sehun can see is his own reflection staring back at him with disgust.
One step...
Two steps...
Closing his eyes, Sehun steps forward. He leaves behind the bustling wind and the cries of a newborn child, stepping into eternity. He can hear the bells ringing in his ears, calling for him from heaven above. It will be a painless death. Finally. Finally he is free.
At the edge of the silver linings, The puffy clouds make no attempt to stop him. He is at the edge of the world, from here on out he is freed from The bounds of Sorania. Gravity starts working again, Sehun tripping and falling with his eyes shut tight.
The castle cracks in half and falls off the sky.
"You're just too naive, Sehunie. You're just too cute to pass up. When I figured that you hated Kris-hyung in the guts, I just had to take advantage of you. You were so easy to fool. It didn't take me that long to make you fall madly in love with me. But I have never loved you. You were just a tool for me to get rid of Kris and take the throne all for myself. It is fate. It is something you cannot deny."
A/N: THERE GOES MY FEELS
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