Jiyong had pulled the uncertain and somewhat nervous Chaerin away from the dance room, muttering soft incohere curses towards her. Which were probably about how she had failed him yet again and her stupidity. After a while she found them ending up in his recording studio. Was she nervious? More or less, who wouldn't be. She didn't recite the lines she knew in her head, she didn't make up a passable excuse for her bruising. She didn't want to stand here, most of all alone with a man she despised as much as she had loved. 

Her eyes were downcast, staring at their floor; her gaze noting that they wore similar footwear. Seeing this a small smile tugging at the ends of her lips but she was unable to show it. This wasn't the time to smile, there wouldn't ever be a time for it. She heard shuffling all the while she remained glued to her spot, standing on the middle of the room. 

It was so quiet and stuffy, she hated this place. Hated it from the core of her being. The place that was once her solace had turned into yet another battle ground for her to earn her keep. For her to constantly prove that she was as her title stated "the baddest female" in the game. But some days she wanted to be Chaerin, simple and normal. Chaerin, the girl who had the passion for music and art. Just her and she wanted to be like that with Jiyong who had similar views but when had that all disappeared? When had she realized that he was never there and she was never who she was? When did that happen...she wasn't quiet sure.

Being pulled back into reality she realized there was a hand gently caressing her face. A hand that felt all to foriegn yet familiar to her, a hand that she so craved but want to slap away. Oh her feelings conflicted with another, her eyes finally gazing upward and meeting his. They were such a beautiful shade of brown, flecked with lighter shades of hazel. These were the very eyes that said I love you to her, that saw her and who she was and accepted her. These were the eyes of the man she loved--

Wrong.

They narrowed into black slits, the hand on her face was no longer tender. This was the monster, the monster who had set out to destroy her. The fingers had curlced, nails digging in her skin. She flinched but she wouldn't dare whimper, she wasn't that weak. She would never let herself be that weak.

"Just patch me up so I can go." It was not a request, but a demand. She had said it in her clipped voice, professional. No ounce of love or weakness. She'd rather remain aloof.

Heartless, it was the only way she'd get out of here unscatched.

"Now you can talk? Ha." He snorted, voice haughty. His eyes gleamed with hatred and he had a condescending attitude. "I have no intention of letting you go just yet, you almost ed up. You are supposed to be the smart one here, not the idiot."

Finally pulling his hand back, there was small imprints of his nails on her bruised cheek. Getting a few bandages, which only caused Chaerin to wrinkle her nose in distaste.

"That's how you consider patching me up? I am a whole lot smarter than you. You don't even know ." She flung offensive words at him, spinning around to leave. She found no reason to stay, she'd just get her make up and use that to hide things from the prying eye. Bandaids would only make things seem obvious.

But before she knew what had happened she was slammed against the wall, face pressed firmly against it. Her body trapped between that and him. There was no escape, his muscled arms. His hot and moist breathe felt against the nape of her neck, she clenched her fingers together tightly into a balled fist. God, she hated him and yet she couldn't even fight against him. She could only stand here and take the brunt of his "love".

Count to 10. Be smart Chaerin.

1...2...

"You think it'd be that easy to leave me?"

3...4...5

"No one will ever want that you, not with that face."

6...7..8..

"Only me, only I did. Without me you'd be nothing, unwanted."

9...

"Unwanted, that's all you'd ever be."

She didn't know when she had fallen to the ground, crumpled into a small heap. She didn't cry, instead she just lay there. His words repeating in her mind over and over like a mantra. Like a prayer.

He had that affect of twisting things around, she couldn't even count to ten before he had managed to get through her walls. But he had left her alone in the room, locking up behind him.

She wouldn't leave the room and no one would see her. He had a lopsided grin, almost smug. He thought, who would want to see a girl like her. 

Such cruel thoughts and yet, his heart felt remorse. guilt. shame. Feelings that he wished had disappeared.

But her was born in the world of fame, born into the world he knew that to love was to love yourself and to remain selfish. He was not stupid enough to hurt himself. So he'd distance himself from her, to the point he'd break her. Till he knew for a fact she could never meet his eyes ever again. Where she'd be like the rest of the girls around him, mindless and without thought.

He pulled out his phone sending a text to YG.

[text to yg hyung] CL went home...she felt sick.

After sending it he then sent another to a friend, Chaerin would want to leave at one point and there was only one person who knew about this situation.

[text to teddy] she's in the studio. same thing eh. deal w/ it.

Putting his phone away, he left the building. he had to meet up with a girl.

There was no time to waste here. Time was limited.

o u o

Hello guys *^* I have started rewriting and I am so sorry for putting this offf for over a year, ehhh. i've seen your comments and messages and wall posts ;; i hope you guys read it from time to time.

my writing style has changed over the year but i still hope you like how i write. { i didn't proof read but hope it's good u_u"

i miss you all.

i love you.

--

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