It's been several minutes since Jinho woke up, finding himself on the floor of his apartment, and unable to figure out exactly what happened the night before. How did he even end up on the floor?

 

Jinho abruptly sat up, and immediately regretted it. His head started spinning and every part of his body ached, especially his jaw. He let out a pained groan.

 

What the hell happened last night?

 

He slowly made his way to the bathroom, and as soon as he spotted his reflection in the mirror, he gasped. There was a reddish purple bruise on his lower jaw, a cut, and a bit of swelling on his lips. He scrunched his face as he thought about how he got these injuries in the first place. He's never gotten into random fights when drunk, so he ruled out that possibility. Besides, he was at a noraebang with his other friends, celebrating his birthday, so why would –

 

Then suddenly images of a furious Sehun flashed through his mind, and Jinho widened his eyes. Sehun.

 

From what he does remember, Sehun worked at the noraebang and they ran into each other before separating. Jinho squeezed his eyes shut and tried his best to remember exactly what those images of Sehun meant.

 

Slowly, he recalled the moment Sehun's fist came in contact with his face, and damn can Sehun pack a punch, but more importantly why did he punch him? What did Jinho do to push Sehun to react that way?

 

Jinho's breath hitched when he realized that there could only be one explanation – Luhan.

 

The reason why Sehun would be upset to the point of using his fists could only be Luhan.

 

What happened with Luhan?

 

Jinho's frantically searching for the answer in his hazy memory when he suddenly heard Luhan's broken voice begging him to stop. Stop? What does he –

 

Jinho gripped the sink when Luhan's voice got louder and far more desperate.

 

“JINHO! LET ME GO!”

 

“NO! JINHO STOP!”

 

“SEHHHUNNNNN!”

 

Jinho's legs gave way when he no longer hears Luhan's screams, only to be replaced with the heart wrenching image of Luhan staring up at him, terrified and helpless. Jinho closed his eyes and he could see the tears in Luhan's eyes as the boy continued to thrash around underneath him.

 

No....No.

 

Trembling, Jinho covered his face with his hands and screamed.

 

What have I done?!

 

He wasn't supposed to confess like that! Jinho had oftentimes dreamt about how he would tell Luhan about his feelings, and none of the scenarios in his head included physically restraining the boy and forcing himself on him. No. That wasn't the reality he wanted. So far from it.

 

Two hours later and Jinho was still sitting on his bathroom floor, unable to move since realizing what he did to Luhan and why Sehun had punched him. He knew that he should go lay down, but he couldn't. His mind was still trying to process why he had snapped – why he would do something so terrible to someone he cares so much about.

 

Memories of the events from last night was coming back to him gradually, and even as he pieced together the full story, there was nothing that warrant his action. He had no excuse. Sure, he was under the influence, but alcohol was not to blame. He's been drunk plenty of times, but he's never acted in such a despicable manner. It definitely wasn't the alcohol. No. It was him. All him.

 

He had succumbed to his inner monster.

 

Not only was his friendship with Sehun broken, his relationship with Luhan was now scarred. Tainted. Ruined.

 

For two days, Jinho closed himself off from the world. He didn't leave his house once nor answer any of his calls. He laid in bed, doing nothing but wallow in guilt, regret, and shame. He only got up to use the restroom and grab small bites of whatever was left in his fridge. Occasionally, he would go long periods without getting up at all because the main problem with getting up was the constant glances he directed towards his cellphone, which was sitting on his coffee table. The urge to call Luhan was simply terrifying, causing him to oftentimes reach for his phone. Jinho wanted nothing more than to speak to the boy, to apologize for his behavior, to ask him how he was doing, to speak to him.

 

The only thing that stopped him from doing so, from giving in to his heart's desire, was the overwhelming fear that Luhan would not pick up – that Luhan would ignore his call.

 

He would completely understand if Luhan did because if he was the other, he would do the same. No victim wants to talk to their attacker, especially not when the wound was still raw.

 

Maybe time would make everything easier. If he stayed away long enough, maybe he won't be so haunted by the memories. Maybe he won't hear Luhan's cries in his sleep anymore if he hid himself from the world, even for just a few days.

 

Besides, he wasn't strong enough to face the boy, mentally and emotionally.

 

Jinho had done something unforgivable. Time alone was needed in order for him to repent. He needed to think about what he could do, if anything, to make up for his actions. By the end of the second day, Jinho decided that if he was still unable to face Luhan, he could at least try to talk to Sehun, who he sadly realized might be just as hurt, if not more, than Luhan.

 

Just like he had betrayed Luhan's trust in him, Jinho betrayed Sehun, and taking their history into consideration, his betrayal is on a completely different scale.

 

Betrayal, Jinho had once read, was an emotion so strong, so consuming, that it could leave the possessor in a state comparable to that of a broken heart. The pain may be instantaneous, a quick stab in the back, or it may be awfully slow, gradually crippling the person, quite possibly leaving him permanently incapable of trusting others. There are those heartbreaks that can leave a person depressed, dejected for a period of time, but eventually, it fades – to be replaced with hope or new found love. Then there are others that leave a person forever heartbroken, unable to forget about lost love because the pain is so deep, it scars.

 

Jinho knew better than to hope that their situation was the former case. There was no way Sehun would forget. He probably felt betrayed at the highest possible level. In these cases, the person is unable to cope with the knowledge of having been deceived – unable to understand where everything went wrong or what had set things off – and seeks a way to regain their normality. More often than not, this leads to revenge.

 

But Jinho's not worried about Sehun seeking revenge, in fact he doubts Sehun would do anything remotely close to revenge. He may beat Jinho to a pulp, but that wasn't anything Jinho didn't deserve. Jinho actually wanted Sehun to beat him up. It would make him feel better, however slightly. It's not something that would cause him to see them as being “even.” No, it wasn't that. They'll never be even because Sehun would never do what Jinho did if their roles were switched.

 

And knowing that hurts like hell.

 

As he waited at the playground where they were supposed to meet, Jinho prayed that Sehun would get angry and throw him around. The more he got hurt, the better.

 

Unfortunately for him, Sehun stood several feet away when they finally locked eyes with one another. The other boy showed no signs of aggression nor hostility.

 

There was, however, discomfort in Sehun's eyes.

 

“I'm sorry for what happened – for what I did,” Jinho confessed, eyes trained on Sehun. “But I'm not going to apologize for my feelings.”

 

Sehun stayed absolutely still, and Jinho could sense his discomfort escalating.

 

“I think this is our chance to talk it out,” Jinho continued. “Lay it all on the line.”

 

“Is that so?” Sehun asked, voice dead calm.

 

“Yes.” Jinho took a deep breath. “I know I can't ever tell you how much I'm sorry about what happened, but I want you to know that I am deeply sorry.”

 

“I don't think I'm the person you should be saying this to.”

 

“You're right. It's just that I'm not ready. I can't face him right now.”

 

“Oh, but you could face me?” Sehun asked bitterly.

 

Jinho sighed. He could already tell this wasn't going to end nicely – not that he could blame Sehun.

 

“Not exactly. I just figured talking to you first would be easier.”

 

Sehun's eyes narrowed at Jinho's honest reply. “You've changed, Jinho. The Jinho I grew up with would never say something like that. It's easier to talk to me after what you did? Really, Jinho?”

 

“Everybody changes.”

 

“And I understand that, but why Jinho? Why did you --” Sehun clenched his fists. “Why did you do that? How could you?”

 

“I wasn't thinking clearly, but I won't blame the alcohol. It's completely my fault. I was angry.”

 

“Angry enough to force yourself on him? Are you kidding me? What did he do to deserve that sort of treatment from you?”

 

“Sehun, I --”

 

“Tell me. Don't be afraid of hurting me because you've already done that.”

 

Sehun faked a smile that only made Jinho more regretful.

 

“Sehun, I was wrong. Anger should never lead to such hateful behavior, and I know that, but at the time, I was in pain. I got tired. Tired of hearing your name. Tired of the situation. Tired of where I stood in Luhan hyung's heart. Even after I confessed, his feelings didn't change, not in the slightest. It was wrong and foolish of me to think that maybe, just maybe, after I tell him how I felt that he would see me differently – that he would consider my feelings and possibly reciprocate --”

 

“P-Possibly reciprocate?” Sehun asked, his expression incredulous.

 

Now that Jinho heard himself say the words, it was ridiculous. He suddenly felt ashamed of himself for even considering that option.

 

“I now realized it's impossible, but not at the time. It was a huge blow when he told me that he can't return my feelings because he loves you.”

 

“But you knew that,” Sehun said coldly. “You knew about his feelings, so why --”

 

“Because it to hear him actually say it, okay? It hurts a lot worse,” Jinho choked out.

 

The two of them didn't say anything for a while. Eventually, Jinho spoke again. “So my mind was still reeling over what he said. I kept telling myself that this wasn't really happening – that I didn't just faced rejection – but it was all too real. For a second, I actually wished I hadn't confessed. And then he kept mentioning you, and how we're friends, and how I shouldn't be doing this, and I just – I just snapped.”

 

“He screamed --” Sehun paused, clearly having trouble with what he was going to say. For the millionth time, Jinho felt terrible for being the reason behind Sehun's struggle.

 

“He screamed for you to stop, but why didn't you?”

 

“I want to say it's because I was too absorbed in the moment so I couldn't hear him, but that would be a lie. I heard him. I still hear him every time I go to sleep. His petrified voice, the horror on his face, the way he called your name – I can still picture it. But I didn't want to let him go. I remember thinking finally, I have him. I remember how every cell in my body wanted to have him.”

 

“Jinho,” Sehun muttered with gritted teeth. Jinho's eyes landed on Sehun's trembling fists. His knuckles were pale, and it was obvious that he was trying to restrain himself.

 

Jinho knew that this was probably a hundred times more difficult for Sehun to hear than for Jinho to say, but it had to be said. Everything.

 

And judging from how Sehun haven't beaten the living daylights out of him, Jinho had a feeling Sehun knew this as well.

 

“I was selfish,” Jinho continued with a deep breath. “Even when I saw the tears in his eyes, I was focused on my needs. I craved him. My whole body reacted from being so close to him, and any kind of real reasoning I may have had flew out the window. I just wanted to show him – physically show him – how much he meant to me. How much I wanted him to pick me. In my deranged mind, I thought that I couldn't let him go without letting him know this fact, regardless of how he was being held against his will. No matter how much he kicked and screamed, I had to let him know. I was nothing short of a monster.”

 

“But Luhan doesn't consider you one,” Sehun cuts in. “Even when you did something so hateful towards him, you know what he told me later that night?”

 

Jinho shook his head.

 

“He told me that it was his fault,” Sehun uttered in a voice that screamed nothing but pain.

 

And Jinho's heart dropped. “Wh-What?”

 

“He said it was his fault for not noticing sooner, for not paying more attention to your feelings. He was so hung up on that, he couldn't fall asleep. In his mind, he was probably thinking of what he could have done to prevent what happened from occurring. And do you want to know what I wanted to do as soon as I heard those words come out of his mouth? Besides wanting to beat the out of you, I wanted him to forget about what you did – to not think of you as a monster. Why? Because he has enough experiences with reckless people wanting nothing but to hurt him.”

 

Jinho's eyes widened in horror. What was Sehun saying? What experiences was he talking about?

 

“I didn't want you, someone I knew and cared for, to be on that list of people.”

 

“Wh-What? I don't understand.”

 

“Of course, you wouldn't,” Sehun chided. “You know nothing about Luhan's past.”

 

“I-I..”

 

“Regret what you did? Well, what's done can't be undone. Time doesn't work that way. Do you remember telling me that?”

 

Jinho slowly nodded, feeling anguish at having Sehun throw his words back at him. He deserved it though.

 

Sehun inhaled and loosen his fists. “As much as I hate the thought of you being near him again, I think we both know you have to talk to him. Despite everything, you're still considered a friend to Luhan, and I don't want him sad over possibly losing you.”

 

“How can I? After what you said, I don't think I can ever see him again.”

 

“And I have no problem with that, but Luhan will. Because his feelings are more important than my own – it'll always be – I want you to promise me that you'll talk to him. No matter how hard it is for me to picture you anywhere near him, he's my priority, and I don't want him to keep blaming himself. It is up to you to fix your relationship with him. Do you understand?”

 

“Y-Yes.”

 

“I guess that's it.”

 

“Do you --” Jinho paused, feeling hesitant to ask a question he desperately wanted to know the answer to.

 

“Do I what?”

 

“Do you think you'll ever not hate me as much as you probably do now?”

 

“I'm not sure,” Sehun answered truthfully. “It'll take some time....How about you? Will you ever get over your feelings for Luhan?”

 

“I can't tell you because I don't think I have the privilege of being able to choose. Maybe I will and maybe I won't.”

 

Sehun frowned. “I seriously hope you do. For all of our sakes.”

 

He kept his eyes on Jinho for a few silent seconds before turning to leave.

 

“Sehun,” Jinho called out, taking a step forward.

 

Sehun stopped and turned around.

 

“Wh-What about us?”

 

“What about us?” Sehun asked blankly.

 

Jinho swallowed. “Are we still friends?”

 

For a tension filled minute, Sehun doesn't say anything as their eyes locked on one another.

 

Finally, Sehun answered, “I honestly don't know.”

 

Jinho nodded in understanding though his heart throbbed at having to hear Sehun say that.

 

“But I do know one thing for sure,” Sehun started, and Jinho held his breath. “If you ever touch Luhan again, it's definitely over. I will physically show you exactly where we stand.”

 

And with that, Sehun left.

 

Jinho could only stand there and watch Sehun's back gradually disappearing from view.

 

He was dead wrong. Talking to Sehun was not as easy as he had thought. Does that mean he'll have a hell of a time talking to Luhan?

 

Jinho realized another thing as he walked home – that he's a coward because he has no immediate plans to face Luhan. Frankly, he doesn't know when he'll ever be ready to see the other boy again.

 

But it certainly wasn't a week later...

 

After skipping school for a whole week, Jinho had no idea who it was when the doorbell rang on a late Friday afternoon.

 

The last person he expected to come see him was the very person who stood behind the door when he opened it.

 

“H-Hyung?” Jinho stammered, eyes blinking rapidly at the sight of the honey-haired, doe-eyed senior.

 

Luhan flashed him a small smile. “Hi, Jinho.”

 

Still rendered speechless, Jinho continued to stare at the boy in front of him. He contemplated the idea that he was simply hallucinating, but Luhan looked too real to be a fragment of his imagination.

 

“Can I come in?” Luhan asked softly.

 

“Oh – uh. Yeah.” Jinho stepped aside to let Luhan in. The boy took careful steps inside, his head turning here and there, eyes wondering around Jinho's living room. Jinho followed quietly behind him.

 

Luhan turned around to face him. “Aren't you going to close the door?” he asked, motioning towards the front door that Jinho had purposefully left ajar.

 

“No. I don't want you to feel trapped,” Jinho replied, mentally cursing himself for making it much more awkward between them.

 

“Oh.”

 

“What are you doing here, hyung?” Jinho asked, quickly getting to the point.

 

“Uhh.” Luhan looked towards the couches. “Can we sit down first?”

 

“Sure.” They walked over to the couches and Luhan chose to sit on the long couch, whereas Jinho opted for the adjacent single recliner.

 

Luhan bit his bottom lip, eye lashes fluttering as he tried to decide on what to say.

 

Jinho, on the other hand, was trying to ignore the loud pounding of his heart at seeing the boy again after so long. It would be a complete lie if he said he didn't miss seeing Luhan.

 

“How have you been?” Luhan finally asked, and Jinho's heart ached a little upon hearing the concern in his voice.

 

“Fine,” Jinho answered.

 

“Oh. Since you didn't show up to classes for a whole week, I thought that --”

 

“Nothing happened. I'm okay, hyung.”

 

“Well, that's good....Did you get any of the assignments? I saved all of them on my laptop, so I can send them to --”

 

“I got them. Thanks anyways.”

 

Luhan fidgeted in his seat while Jinho tried his best not to frown as he watched him.

 

“Jinho, I know you're avoiding me,” Luhan spoke after awhile. “I don't want you to think that you can't face me after what happened.”

 

“But how can I? Hyung, I did something entirely despicable, unbelievably awful. I hurt you.”

 

“But I'm doing fine,” Luhan reasoned.

 

“That doesn't change what I've done. Hyung, I'm incredibly sorry. I don't think I can ever say it enough. I'm sorry. For everything.”

 

“I know. Sehun told me.”

 

Taken by surprise, Jinho spluttered, “Wh-What?”

 

“He told me about the conversation you two had a week ago.”

 

“Oh...”

 

Jinho briefly wondered just how much Sehun had told Luhan. Was it everything? Can't be. He assumed that there were some parts Sehun must have left out.

 

Luhan inhaled and exhaled before he admitted the reason as to why he was here.

 

“I came over to tell you that I forgive you.”

 

What?

 

Was Jinho hearing this correctly? Luhan forgives him?

 

“What happened wasn't your fault,” Luhan continued. “You were drunk, so I know it's not the real Jinho. You would never do something like that.”

 

“I was still wrong, hyung. I shouldn't have touched you at all.”

 

Luhan sighed. “I don't want you to think that I hate you. I don't.”

 

“You should.”

 

“Jinho, it was a mistake. An unfortunate accident. I'm not going to hold it against you. I should have been --”

 

“No, hyung,” Jinho interrupted, quickly remembering what Sehun had told him about Luhan blaming himself. “Luhan hyung, it's not your fault. It was mine, and only mine.”

 

Luhan leaned forward, eyebrows furrowed. “But what if I had noticed the signs before? What if we talked before that night at the noraebang? Surely, we wouldn't have turned out like this.”

 

Jinho shook his head. “We don't have a way of knowing, hyung.”

 

“But I – I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't be,” Jinho said with a small smile that was supposed to reassure the older boy, but Jinho doubted that it did. “Now you know how I feel about you, so don't apologize, hyung. I wished it was under different circumstances, but this is what happened instead.”

 

The two of them stayed quiet for a while, each occupied with his own thoughts. Jinho wondered if Sehun knew that Luhan was here. If he did, does that mean he trust Jinho enough to be alone with his boyfriend? And more importantly, did Luhan trust him? He had to, right? To show up at Jinho's door, the older boy had to have been prepared. Jinho also tried to not let it get to his head that Luhan was, apparently, not afraid of him. He had feared that the boy would be so traumatized by what happened that he wouldn't be able to sit in the same room with him.

 

His train of thought was interrupted by a soft “Why?”

 

Jinho looked up at the boy, whose beautiful brown eyes gazed back at him. “Why?”

 

“Yes. Why me?” Luhan asked.

 

Jinho took a second to consider how he should answer this. Not knowing what the right thing to say was, he went for what immediately popped into his head.

 

“Why not you? You're kind, gentle, amazingly funny, impossibly adorable, incredibly smart, and – and everything you do or say gets my heart beating.”

 

Luhan blinked rapidly at Jinho's confession. He must not have expected it. Jinho could only smile sadly at the older boy.

 

“Don't feel burdened by it, hyung.”

 

“I-I..”

 

“I know. You love Oh Sehun.”

 

The sad, inevitable truth comes out.

 

Jinho realized that actually saying it himself was definitely not any better than having others tell him.

 

“He's hurting,” Luhan whispered, and Jinho knew exactly who.

 

“I'm sorry to hear that.”

 

“I know you two talked, but your friendship is still up in the air. Isn't there something --”

 

“I think for us, it'll take time. I betrayed his trust. I betrayed yours. I understand that you're just simply too generous – that's the only reason someone in your position would ever forgive me. I also know full well that it's not the case for Sehun.”

 

“I-I want you two to go back to being friends, like before all of this happen. I know it's a long shot, but I really can't bear seeing the two of you like this,” Luhan admitted, his voice slightly cracking.

 

Jinho felt a gnawing ache slowly form in his chest at the sight of a Luhan trying to maintain his composure.

 

“I wish things were different, Luhan hyung. But it's never going to be like it was before – not when I still have strong feelings for you.”

 

“But you'll get over me soon --”

 

“Will I really?”

 

Luhan nodded. “Yes, you will, but what's most important is your relationship with Sehun. You two were friends since you were little. I don't want to – I can't be the reason behind the rift.”

 

“Hyung, we can't both love you and still maintain a healthy friendship. That won't ever work.”

 

“Jinho..”

 

“I know I'm not as important to you as Sehun, but I'm hurting too, hyung.”

 

Jinho didn't mean for it to sound harsh, but it did. He could see the hurt in Luhan's eyes, but it's too late for him to take it back.

 

“I never said that,” Luhan argued, voice unsteady, and Jinho felt bad for the older one.

 

“But we all know it's true,” Jinho said softly.

 

“I understand you're having a hard time as well. I do. And I'm a terrible hyung because I don't know how to make it better. I don't know how to fix this.”

 

“Only time can..”

 

“What if it takes too long?”

 

Jinho shrugged. “So be it.”

 

“Jinho --”

 

Jinho held up his hand to stop Luhan from continuing. “Listen hyung, I don't want you to think that you have to fix this – whatever this is. Maybe things are better this way.”

 

“How? I can't see how this is better,” Luhan said, sounding strained and exhausted.

 

“It's better for me because my feelings are out in the open. I don't have to hide them anymore. It's selfish, I know, but it feels so liberating at the same time.”

 

“But Jinho, I can't return your feelings,” Luhan said clearly.

 

Another sad truth comes out, and this time it stung.

 

Jinho leaned back on his recliner and closed his eyes. He tried to push all of the negative thoughts from his mind to only focus on the positive, but it was proving to be nearly impossible.

 

“I'm glad that you can finally be honest about your feelings, but I --”

 

“Can I ask you something?” Jinho interrupted.

 

“Yes,” Luhan replied, a bit hesitant.

 

Jinho opened his eyes and gazed into Luhan's eyes. “If I had met you first, would things be different?”

 

It was something he had wondered since the first day he found out about Luhan and Sehun's relationship.

 

Would things be different?

 

“Jinho,” Luhan breathed, most likely shocked that Jinho would ask such a question.

 

“If it was me who had met you first and gotten to know you before Sehun did, would you have fallen for me instead?”

 

Clasping his hands, Jinho waited for Luhan's answer.

 

And he was eventually left disappointed with the reply.

 

“No,” Luhan answered. “I wouldn't have.”

 

“Really? Even when you met me first and Sehun second?”

 

“Love isn't about timing, Jinho. I could have met you first, and met Sehun twenty years later, and it'd still be a no.”

 

“Why?” Jinho asked, although he knew he was pushing it. “I can make you just as happy, if not more. I'm just as capable as Sehun. People have always picked me over him.”

 

He probably looked desperate and shameless right now, but it wasn't like he cared anymore.

 

“I guess I'm not like other people then.”

 

Jinho shook his head. “No, you're not. You're better than the others.”

 

Luhan gave him a tiny, sad smile. “I'm really not.”

 

“So in the end, it'll always be Sehun, huh?”

 

Luhan nodded.

 

“Do you think you'll always be happy with him?”

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

“You see yourself with him in seventy, eighty years?”

 

Luhan's eyes brightened a little at the thought of growing old with Sehun. “Yes. Forever actually.”

 

Forever.

 

A word that meant everlasting. Without end. Eternal.

 

Forever.

 

Jinho hates that word.

 

Honestly, who would have thought that he would be so deeply wounded by Luhan's reply that he would start laughing?

 

It's stupid, Jinho thought as he continued to laugh mirthlessly while Luhan looked on with confusion all over his flawless features.

 

When he finally stopped laughing like a crazed patient, Jinho turned to look at Luhan.

 

“Forever is an imaginary concept. It's not real because nothing lasts forever.”

 

As soon as he said that, Jinho realized that he really is a hateful jerk.

 

The tiny brightness in Luhan's eyes that was there a moment ago disappeared, and Jinho internally cringed at the knowledge that he was the reason why.

 

“You're free to believe that, but nothing will change how I feel for Sehun,” Luhan said, determined not to let Jinho's words hurt him.

 

But it already has.

 

Jinho could see sparkles in Luhan's eyes. Sparkles that were there for all the wrong reasons.

 

“I don't want you to be fooled into thinking that what you have with Sehun will last,” Jinho said, now fully committed to destroying Luhan's forever.

 

“W-What are you saying?” Luhan asked, his broken voice giving his emotions away easily.

 

“Have you two talked about what will happen after this semester ends? You know, after you graduate and all.”

 

Luhan's eyes widened, and Jinho knew he had tapped an undisclosed topic.

 

“N-no. We have not,” Luhan answered, voice barely above a whisper.

 

“Well, graduation is soon, can't avoid it, hyung. You're going to graduate, and Sehun isn't. Are you going to move out to find a suitable job? Or how about that Sociology graduate exchange program that's being offered by our school? With your grades, I'm sure you'll get accepted.”

 

“Jinho, stop,” Luhan demanded as he struggled to prevent the sparkles in his eyes from spilling.

 

Sadly, Jinho was feeling too spiteful to stop.

 

“That program's in New York. If you do decide to take it, would Sehun wait for you? Is your love strong enough to survive the distance, hyung?”

 

Luhan abruptly stood up, his hands shaking by his sides. “What happens with us is none of your business,” he snapped, evidently having enough of Jinho's verbal attack.

 

“I'm simply looking out for you, Luhan hyung.”

 

“No, you're not! You're only saying these things because you're hurt.”

 

Jinho stood up and locked eyes with Luhan, who surprisingly held his tears back.

 

“And why would I be hurt? Tell me, hyung.”

 

“Because I chose Sehun.”

 

Jinho scoffed. “I was already hurt by that since the beginning. It's nothing new.”

 

“Then why would you --”

 

“Because I wanted you to think ahead – to think about your future. Is being with Sehun really worth it?”

 

“Oh, and being with you is?” Luhan countered, his expression a mixture of anger and extreme distress.

 

“Who knows? It might be. At least I can graduate with you. At least I can join you if you do decide to enter the program. At least I can --”

 

“Oh shut up, Jinho! I won't ever have romantic feelings for you! Accept that!”

 

Luhan doesn't say another word as he rushed out the door, leaving Jinho behind in his lonely apartment.

 

Jinho fell back down on his recliner. He ruffled his hair in frustration and groaned. What is wrong with me?!

 

Seconds later, he's looking up at the ceiling when his vision slowly blurs.

 

“Sorry Luhan hyung,” he mumbled before closing his eyes. I'm sorry.

 

******

From his spot on the couch, Sehun heard keys jiggling and a click in the lock on the front door. He jumped up and made his way to the hallway, where he found his boyfriend's back facing him as the other took off his shoes.

 

“Hey, what took you so long? Did the store run out of your favorite --”

 

Luhan turned around and Sehun immediately knew something was wrong.

 

“What happened?”

 

Without answering Sehun, Luhan quickly made his way over and pressed himself flush against Sehun. He wrapped his arms tightly around Sehun's waist and buried his face in Sehun's chest.

 

“Lu, what's wrong?” Sehun asked, worry creeping in. “Did something happened?” he asked as he too wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol stepped out of the kitchen and upon seeing the couple in the middle of an embrace, they said nothing and stood by the doorway. Like Sehun, they had also been waiting for Luhan.

 

“Lu?” Sehun used his chin to nudge his boyfriend. “Talk to me.”

 

It was a couple of seconds before Luhan finally mumbled against his chest, “Promise you won't get mad?”

 

That does not sound good, but Sehun didn't have any other choice.

 

“Promise,” he said.

 

“I didn't go to the grocery store. I went to see Jinho.”

 

Baekhyun gasped from behind them, but Sehun, on the other hand, was still trying to mentally process what Luhan just told him. Jinho?

 

“You went to meet Jinho?” he asked for clarification. Before Luhan could confirm, something clicked inside Sehun, and he abruptly pulled away.

 

With his hands cupping Luhan's surprised face, Sehun asked in a panicked voice, “Are you alright?! What did he do? Did he put his hands on you!?”

 

Luhan shook his head and said no, but Sehun wasn't satisfied with that answer, so he took it upon himself to look his boyfriend up and down, eyes searching for any signs of bodily harm. He found none.

 

“I'm alright,” Luhan assured as he hugged Sehun once more.

 

“Then what happened?”

 

“We talked.”

 

“And?” Sehun asked, his heart pounding against his chest.

 

Luhan pressed closer and shook his head. With a defeated sigh, Sehun doesn't ask him anything else – not even when he felt wetness seep through the fabric of his shirt.

 

He does nothing but hold Luhan tighter.

 

Later in bed, they laid on their sides to face each other. Sehun had on a smile while Luhan simply kept his eyes focused on Sehun's face. It was rather strange for Sehun to have Luhan look at him in such a way, as if he was trying to engraved Sehun's features into his mind.

 

Luhan's eyes suddenly glistened, and before Sehun knew it, a single tear rolled down his face.

 

Sehun reached out and wiped it with his thumb. “Are you crying because you love me so much, it hurts?” Sehun teased, hoping to make his boyfriend feel better about whatever it was that bothered him.

 

Luhan shook his head as a few more tears escaped, and Sehun brushed away each and every one of them.

 

“I love loving you,” Luhan said softly, causing Sehun to smile despite the pang he felt in his chest at seeing his boyfriend cry over something he still doesn't know about.

 

“Same here,” Sehun said, bringing Luhan closer.

 

He pressed their foreheads together. “Lu, you know I hate seeing you cry. Please, just tell me what's wrong.”

 

“Sehun-ah, do you believe in forever?” Luhan asked.

 

Sehun pulled away to get a better look at Luhan. Although surprised by the question, he doesn't need to think about it at all.

 

“With you, yes.”

 

He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Luhan's lips to let him know that he meant it.

 

Forever does exist when he's with Luhan.

 

Slowly, the corners of Luhan's lips tugged upwards, and Sehun was gifted with Luhan's beautiful smile.

 

“You think it's real?” Luhan asked.

 

“Of course.” Sehun poked Luhan's cheeks to demonstrate. “See? You're real. I'm real. Our love's real.”

 

Luhan chuckled. “It sounds like you're quoting a song.”

 

“Most likely,” Sehun admitted with a dazzling smile. He nuzzled Luhan's nose and added, “Forever may be an abstract concept to some people, but I think it's only because they haven't found their forever. They haven't found something that makes life worth it. They think forever is a childhood fantasy – something nice to long for, but isn't very realistic. I'm not one of those boring people. I found my forever.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, really.”

 

“Your forever, is it --”

 

“Currently talking to me? Yes.” Sehun grinned, and Luhan smiled even wider. “It's smiling at me too.”

 

“So cheesy,” Luhan muttered as he hid his face into the crook of Sehun's neck.

 

“I detect a hint of satisfaction in that accusation,” Sehun stated after kissing the top of Luhan's head.

 

Luhan rolled his eyes and snuggled closer. “Night, Sehun-ah.”

 

Sehun reached behind him to turn off the lights from the lamp.“Night, Bambi.”

 

Within minutes, Luhan fell asleep as Sehun ran his hand through his honey locks. His mind is analyzing what just happened between them. Why did Luhan suddenly ask him that? What happened between him and Jinho?

 

Knock. Knock.

 

Sehun lifted his head up to see who was at his door. “Hyung?”

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun said rather quietly, not wanting to wake Luhan up.

 

“What are you two doing here?”

 

“To give you the keys to the car,” Chanyeol answered, dangling said keys in front of him.

 

“What?”

 

Baekhyun placed his hands on his hips, and said matter-of-factly, “We know you won't be able to sleep unless you find out exactly what happened between Luhan hyung and Jinho.”

 

“We'll keep an eye on Luhan hyung,” Chanyeol added. “Go find your answer.”

 

“But hyung --”

 

“If you don't go, I'll go,” Baekhyun threatened. “I'll kick down his door, punch his balls, and proceed to strangle him with his damn curtains if he has any.”

 

Chanyeol nodded enthusiastically. “Baek isn't lying. He can do all of that. He took a summer's worth of taekwondo classes.”

 

Sehun gave his hyungs a weird look, but nonetheless, he gently untangled himself from Luhan. Before walking away, he gave his boyfriend a soft peck on the lips.

 

Chanyeol handed Sehun the keys. “Drive safe, maknae.”

 

“Yeah. I'll be back.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

He made his way downstairs, but then Chanyeol called his name. He looked up to find the pair standing on the top step, both looking oddly proud.

 

“Let him know that nobody makes your Bambi cry.”

 

“Yeah, hyung.”

 

“Now go kick his ,” Baekhyun ordered.
 

 

 

 

 

 

~~~~~~ MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES FOR THE SUPER LATER UPDATE! SO SORRY GUYS! :( I know I told a few of you that I was going to update sooner, but I didn't. Sowwy! I was super lazy and ugh, writer's block. But I'm glad that I got it done! How was it?! A lot of dialogue. All of them was intense. Super intense. Sehun-Jinho, that was like WHOAAAAAAAA.DUDE. Then Luhan-Jinho...Awww.. Poor Lulu T__T Jinho is >< evil. Lol jk. But seriously, good for Luhan for telling him the truth! He'll never love you, Jinho. Accept that! 

 

And Baekyeol..oh Baekyeol...Always so wise. "Go kick his ." Lol. For the next chapter, it will be Sehun-Jinho's final showdown. Get ready! 

 

Also, big thanks to my readers who continued to stay subscribed! (Even when I don't update in forever) And I want to say welcome to all my new readers. Hiii :D