A week has gone by and I haven’t spoken with Taeyang. We haven’t talked ever since the day he opened up to me about his life and about his feelings towards me. It was hard for me to have a normal relationship with Jiyong after what has happened between Taeyang and I. But I do love Jiyong. I can’t give up on our relationship that we both put 5 years into. I just can’t let our love fall apart. There’s always someone in a relationship that holds it together, and so I think. Our love is strong and we’ve been through too much together. And now that I haven’t spoken or seen Taeyang, my feelings towards Jiyong are back to normal.

The past week has been good for Jiyong and me. We haven’t fought yet. We’ve been happy without any arguments or disagreements between each other. Even though it was going good, I knew not to get my hopes up because this will all end pretty soon. I knew us too well. But even though we have a relationship like this, a relationship that is not too healthy, we both can’t seem to walk away from each other. He hasn’t done anything to me that will make me want to leave completely. All the bad ways he’s treated me has always faded away. I never let him go because I knew that I will come back to him at the end of the day.

While I was asleep with my back facing Jiyong, he slowly caressed my hair and moved it to the side so that he could kiss my neck, “Sweetheart, let’s go to the beach today.” He whispered while he continued to kiss my neck.

I then woke up, “Today? That’s a random thought.” I told him.

“Well, you say we don’t spend time together anymore. Now I want to take you to the beach. What do you say?” he asked.

I then climbed on top of him and kissed him on his lips, “That sounds wonderful Honey. Let’s do that.” He then kissed me back and slowly set me back down as we continued to kiss away under the covers.

~~~~~

Later that morning, we both got up and took a shower and got ready to head out to the beach.

We finally reached the beach as we carried our food and blanket. We were fortunate to choose to come to the beach today because there was hardly anyone there. We then laid the blanket out and sat down. Jiyong then took off his shirt and lay down.

“Babe, lay with me.” He asks.

I then lay down with him as we just lay down together soaking in the sun. It felt so good to be able to spend a day like this with my Jiyong.

“Jiyong, I’m going to take dip. You want to go with me?” I asked.

“No go ahead. I’ll watch you.” He says with his huge contagious smile. He then leaned in for a kiss.

I walked into the water and the water felt so good. It wasn’t too hot or too cold. It was perfect. After a while, I finally got out of the water and went back to Jiyong. While walking back to where Jiyong was, I saw a little rose petal path to the blanket. I reached the blanket and there laid red petals all over the blanket and there stood Jiyong.

(clink on link before continuing) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ess2qlVHl6E

 Happy, I walked up to him, “Babe? What is this? What are you doing?” I asked while wearing the biggest smile on my face.

“Sweetie,” he started. “I know that we have been through so many ups and downs and you have been my rock from day one. I was never a perfect man to you and sometimes I feel so lucky to have you because I know that I don’t deserve you and your love that you offer me. You are my world and I cannot imagine my future without you in it.” He then grabbed my hand and got down on one knee. “Sweetheart. My love. I will love and cherish you for forever. With all of this being said, will you do me the honor and become my wife?” he asked with tears in his eyes while opening the ring box where a beautiful ring sat. Surprised and filled with so many emotions, I got down on my knees with Jiyong and replied, “Yes! Yes Honey. I love you so much.” I then grabbed him and kissed him. We then got up and he picked me up and spun me around. We then continued to kiss the night away.

~~~~~

We finally got home later that day and we were so happy and so much in love. All I remember saying to me was, “Now this is the Jiyong I fell in love with.” I was so happy and I felt like the happiest girl on earth.

“So when should we set it?” He asked me.

“I don’t know. We need time to plan this.” I replied.

“No we don’t Honey. Let’s do it this coming Monday.” He demanded.

“Really? That’s kind of fast don’t you think?” I asked.

“Why not? We love each other. We don’t need anything else.” He continued.

“Well, you’re right. It’s about us,” I agreed. “Ok. Let’s do it.”

 ~~~~~

The weekend came around as Jiyong and I were just sitting at home watching a movie. Then, there was a knock at my door. I looked at Jiyong, “Were you expecting someone?”

“Umm… I don’t think so.” He replied.

I then got up and walked over to the door to open it.

“Congratulations!!!” yelled TOP and Seungri while hugging me.

“Thanks.” I said hugging them back. They then walked over to Jiyong and congratulated him as well. We all then sat down and started to talk about our wedding this coming Monday.

“Monday, already?” TOP asked.

“Yeah.” Jiyong answered.

“Well then, in that case, we need to throw my boy here a bachelor party!” TOP recommended.

Knowing it was a bad idea, I replied while looking at Jiyong, “No, no. He doesn’t need that.”

“Come on sis! We’re just going to be gone for a few hours.” Seungri asked.

“Well, I do want Jiyong to have a good celebration.” I said. “I’ll throw myself a bachelorette party too then.” I continued. Since Jiyong did choose me to marry, he’s probably mature enough to make good decisions now. I thought to myself.

“Yeah! Let’s do this.” We all agreed.

I called up a few of my girls as we all got ready to go out. We all parted ways to celebrate.

~~~~~

After a crazy night of drinking and dancing, I was dropped off at home and saw that Jiyong was already home. I thought to myself, “Wow. That’s a first. He probably didn’t want to stay out long because he’s getting married. And he loves me.”

I then walked inside my house and the light in my kitchen so that I can grab me a glass of water. While pouring the water and drinking it, I heard a loud thump that came from upstairs.

(click on link before continuing) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A36FwmoRiKM

Scared that there might be a burglar in my home, I quickly grabbed a kitchen knife and slowly walked up the stairs worried about Jiyong and if he was ok. As I got closer to the room, I found a red satin blouse that was lying on the floor. And as I got closer to the door, I heard music softly playing coming from inside my room. Not wanting to admit the truth of what was going on, I softly dropped my knife on the floor as I put my hands on the door knob and closed my eyes with a tear that fell. I slowly opened the door and I saw it.

(click on link before continuing) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1-rkMRp-qA

I saw it all. My worst night mare had come true. There on my bed, laid Jiyong and that girl from the club from a few weeks ago.They were so busy that they didn’t even see me walk into the room. I walked to the stereo and turned it off. They both looked up and saw me standing there. The girl then moved away covering herself with a blanket as Jiyong did the same.

I then walked over to the girl and Jiyong. I looked at Jiyong, “Are you serious? Before our wedding?” I then looked at the girl and grabbed her by the hair and yanked her onto the floor. She didn’t have the nerve to get up and do anything to me so I left her on the ground. I then walked over to Jiyong. He then started to try to explain but I didn’t want to hear it. All of a sudden, it was like nature felt me and thunder started to form and the rain started to fall. With tears in my eyes, I took my ring off and threw it at Jiyong and said, “I hope you had fun. I hope she was worth it.” I then slapped him across the face and walked out. While walking out, I looked at the girl on the floor and said, “He’s all yours now. You guys can continue.”

I then ran out of the room in tears and began to run down the stairs as fast as I could. I then grabbed my keys and bag and opened the door. Right when I opened the door, Jiyong came behind me and closed the door shut. He then spun me around so that I was facing him. I will never forget the feeling that I felt at that moment. I couldn’t even look at him. I was disgusted, hurt, angry and most of all, disappointed. While he stood in front me trying to explain him, I felt so numb. I couldn’t feel my body and I couldn’t even hear Jiyong talk. My mind was shut off and I couldn’t grasp the concept of what has happened. I just stood there and watched his lips moving; yet I couldn’t hear him. I wasn’t crying hard but so many tears were falling one after another from my eyes as I just stood there in silence while Jiyong kept going. I then softly pushed Jiyong away from me and softly, the only words that came out of my mouth were, “Get that out of my house.....” I then walked to my couch and sat down not knowing what to do anymore.

Jiyong then came to me while I was sitting on the couch. He then sat on the floor in front of me and we just sat in that position in silence for God knows how long. Thirty minutes passed and Jiyong finally broke the silence, “Sweetheart. I don’t want to lose you. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I just looked at him as tears continuing to fall, “You’re not sorry. You’re just sorry that you got caught… I got to go. I don’t even know why I’m still here… with you.” I then got up as Jiyong hugged me while on his knees. “Don’t go. I need you.” He continued to plea. We then made eye contact as I pushed him off me while saying, “I’ll be back tomorrow to grab my things.” I then grabbed my bag and keys and opened the door. As I was walking out, Jiyong came after me and pulled me to come back into the house. I then shrugged him off and continued to walk towards my car. By now, we both are soaking in the rain.

Jiyong then yelled over the rain and thunder, “Stay here for the night. Where are you going to go?”

“Want to know an interesting fact? This is the first time you ever came after me while I’m walking away from you. You never cared if you lost me before and I would really appreciate it if you don’t come after me now. And don’t worry about me. And as a matter of fact, this is my house. When I get back tomorrow, your stuff, including you, better be out of my house.” I replied while in tears.

“Don’t do this Babe,” Jiyong continued. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

Angry, I then turned around and walked up to Jiyong, “Don’t you ever give me another one of your broken promises. From this day forward, you’re nothing to me. I’ve put up with your for the longest time! Only a dumb and naïve girl like me would ever stay with someone like you. You will never know and understand all the pain that you’ve put me through. And today? Today is the last straw!”

“Come on Honey. I know I wasn’t the best to you. I love you.” He continued.

“You don’t know what love is. You will never know what love is. Someone like you is incapable of love. Love is being there for someone. Love is loving someone regardless of their flaws. Love is never hurting someone you love. For love, you would put someone before you and put their needs before yours. You say that you have the up most respect for me but you don’t. And someone like you does not deserve someone like me. And for that, I’m leaving you with this; I’ve dealt with you and your ways for the longest time. I deserve someone that will love and cherish me and recognize what I do for them and have them return the favor without even asking! You can take what you have left of me and live in the past because I’m no longer your puppet who you can boss around anymore. I know I will be happy and I will find someone who will love me for me. And that is not you, nor will it ever be.” I then walked back to my car and drove away.

While driving away, I looked at the time on my dashboard and it was already six in the morning. I didn’t know where to go so I just decided to go to the beach where Jiyong and I had our last great moment that will now be nothing but a memory.

(click on link before continuing) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuE7WjPzCkc

 I got to the beach and by now, it was seven in the morning and the rain has finally stopped. I wasn’t feeling tired at all. I just got out of my car and started walking into the sand. While walking on the beach, I just watched the sun rise over the beautiful ocean. I then sat down on the sand and all the memories of Jiyong and I were all coming back to me. I just looked around the beach and flash backs of his proposal was running through my mind. I then looked up towards the sky and tears just started to run down my face. “God, help me get through this. I’m so broken. Please fix me.” I prayed. I then lifted my legs and rested my head on my knees while my arms wrapped around. I sat in that position for a while in tears just thinking of Jiyong.

While sitting down and day dreaming away, my phone rang. I then looked at it and it was Taeyang. Shocked because we haven’t spoken for a long time, I wiped my tears, cleared my throat and answered it,

“Hey…” I began.

“Cris?” He asked.

Sniffing my nose, I replied, “Yeah. Who else would it be?” I tried to sound as normal as I could sound.

“How have you been these days?” he asked.

“Oh… I’m great. Can’t be better.” I lied.

“O…K… where are you at right now?” he questioned.

“Umm… I’m at the beach…” I answered.

“Beach?! That’s early. What are you doing there?” He continued to questions me.

“Nothing, just wanted to be here. I’ll talk to you later ok?” I ended.

“I guess… sure.” He agreed. We both then hung up.

I then turned my phone off and threw it in the sand. While sitting and looking around the beach for about twenty minutes or so, feeling so lost in my life, I felt someone walking behind me. Thinking to myself, “What is Taeyang doing here now?” I turned around and it was Jiyong.

(click on link before continuing) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfEs_OS0Uhc

With no words being exchanged, he sat down behind me and softly placed his arms around me as he just held me in his arms. Not backing off from him, I felt we needed this last embrace before we parted ways. I then rested my head on his right arm as he rested his head on my head. He then softly kissed my shoulder and we just stared out into the ocean.

“This is beautiful.” He finally said.

“Yeah, it is.” I answered.

“How did we get like this?... I just realized right now how beautiful everything is when I had you in my life. Now that I know I’m going to lose you, everywhere I look, everything looks so grey, sad and unhappy.” He then began to cry. I then turned my head towards him and we both placed our forehead against each other and softly cried.

“You were right,” he started. “I don’t deserve you. You were so good to me and I took your love for granted. I’m so sorry Babe.” He continued to cry.

“Don’t cry Jiyong,” I faced him and began to wipe his tears. “We both knew this day was going to come where we would part ways. We saw this coming. We were arguing so much. I’m pretty sure you’ll find someone who will love you.”

“She won’t be like you.” He cried.

Letting out a sigh, I just held him in my arms and we both sat there in pain.

~~~~~

Later that day, we both walked back to our cars and said our last good byes. It was so hard because I loved this man, and I always will. We hugged the longest we’ve ever hugged each other.

“Bye Jiyong. Have a happy life.” I started.

“You too. I don’t want to let you go.” He responded.

“This is what’s best for the both of us. Good bye.” I ended.

We then hugged each other for the last time and we parted ways.