June was when they first came into terms with their situations and established a working companionship.

The weeks that transpired after the incident with Andy’s revelation were filled with an impenetrable tension. It wasn’t only Junjin that felt it, but he knew Andy felt it too. He could see from the way Andy acted carefully around him, much less chipper and vibrant compared to the Andy he first knew. Junjin had always felt awkward around Andy, so the tenseness in which he addressed the other man was definitely nothing new. But to the previously unaware Andy it was definitely foreign experience.

Junjin was surprised that they still met up at all with the blanket of awkwardness and discomfort plaguing the air around them like the suffocating smog. Their conversations never amounted to anything either—not that it did before. It’s just that there was less of Andy’s endless chatter to fill up the emptiness around them. There were more periods of silences, curt answers, and half-hearted replies than what Junjin was usually used to.

It’s clear that the incident tipped the delicate balance between them. It’s a mark of change, how this change would affect them, Junjin didn’t know yet. But he knew for sure that they couldn’t go back to the way things were. They’ve passed the point of no return—how things went beyond that point would be completely up to them.

Junjin was startled out of his thoughts when knocking came from his front door. He took a short glance at the clock—it was earlier than the usual time, but Junjin didn’t really care about that. Lazily, he slid off his couch and stood up straight, making his way to the door.

“You’re early.”

Andy ignored Junjin’s remark as soon as he opened the door. Andy was still wearing his gas mask, his face completely hidden from Junjin’s view. Andy inclined his head slightly towards the main door, “Ready to go?”

Junjin nodded. “Just let me get my mask first, wait here, I won’t take long.”

“Okay.”

Junjin ignored the curt response and made his way to his room to grab his gas mask. When he returned, Andy was still in the same spot on the doorstep, staring listlessly into thin air. He had been doing that more often, just staring, unblinking, at a random spot in the air. It was his habit, Junjin guessed, whenever he was thinking deeply. It was rather eerie, sure (especially with that gas mask on), but it wasn’t really distracting. Besides, it gave Junjin time to think himself as well.

“Shall we?” Junjin’s words seemed to snap Andy out of his reverie, and Andy gave a hurried nod before taking off ahead of him and disappearing from his doorstep.

Junjin sighed as he followed Andy, closing and locking the door behind him as he did so. Andy was waiting by the front door, anxiously shifting from one foot to the other as Junjin slowly walked towards him. Junjin could practically feel the terse, awkward air radiating from Andy as he approached him. From the way Andy subconsciously scooted closer to the door as Junjin approached, Junjin could tell that being there was far from what he wanted to do.

Neither of them said anything as Junjin opened the door, or even when they stepped out and into the ruinous city beyond them. Junjin took slow, languid steps while Andy’s pace was short but brisk. They headed out to nowhere in particular, and Junjin was left to stare at the back of Andy’s head as the other man walked slightly ahead of him.

They somehow, in all their awkwardness, arranged to take walks once a week—just to add variety into their dull lives, Andy had quietly joked. Junjin didn’t find any reason to complain (not when he already buried himself this deep in Andy’s life) so he acquiesced with a minute shrug. Being holed up at home everyday—as arguably safe as it was—was terrible for anyone’s sanity.

“Hey,” Andy’s quiet, but clear, voice broke the silence between them. Junjin slowed his steps when he saw that Andy had stopped completely, letting out a gruff ‘what’ in inquiry.

“Can,” Andy seemed to hesitate for a while, before he straightened his back and turned to fully face Junjin. Junjin could feel Andy’s unfaltering gaze pierce through the tinted glass of his gas mask. “Can we—there’s this place I have in mind, can we go there?”

Junjin blinked in confusion, but realized that Andy couldn’t see him and instead voiced out his thoughts, “Why?”

Andy’s demeanor seemed to wither slightly at Junjin’s (not exactly reprimanding) question, and shifted to look down to the ground. “I, uh, it’s been a long time since I went there. I just want to see what it looks like.”

No different from the rest of Seoul, Junjin was willing to bet. But Andy sounded earnest and adamant in his request—despite his hesitations—and he just really, really couldn’t find any reason to say no. Even his usually grouchy mind was silent at Andy’s request. He didn’t know where Andy would lead him, for all he knew Andy could be trying to trick him, yet his mind couldn’t offer a plausible scenario of that situation. He had already known Andy for a month, and Andy never tried to lay a hand against Junjin or bring him harm. He didn’t know anymore—he just found that he really didn’t mind going.

“Sure,” Junjin said nonchalantly, “Lead the way.”

The way Andy had perked up and proceeded to drag Junjin by the hand past crumbling buildings and debris-littered streets was painfully reminiscent of the day Junjin had first agreed to meet Andy everyday. The way Junjin was trying not to falter in his steps and catch up to him was also reminiscent of that day. Junjin could just imagine the smile gracing Andy’s face, could just imagine Andy turning to him and flashing that headache-inducing, blinding smile of his. The thought slightly grated at Junjin’s easily provoked temper, so he stopped thinking and let Andy drag him to god knows where.

Andy stopped abruptly when they’ve reached a small clearing in the middle of all the debris. Actually, upon closer inspection, Junjin realized that the clearing was actually a playground. There was a sandbox (littered with pieces of concrete and various mysterious gunk) at one corner, and a dilapidated slide at another, barely recognizable rocking horses at the other, a broken jungle gym took up a good portion of the small playground, but what caught Junjin’s attention the most was the swing set next to it. The swings looked worse for wear, but they were in a far better condition than the rest of the toys in the playground.

Andy seemed to have the same thoughts as Junjin and released Junjin’s hand, going over to the swings to sit on one of them. He rocked himself back and forth slightly, trying to swing as much as he could while being wary of the protesting creaks of the chains.

“Come on,” Andy exclaimed giddily, having seemingly forgotten about their previous awkward tension, “Join me, it’s fun!”

Junjin had reservations about taking a seat on something that looked like it make snap under his weight, so Junjin declined with a weary shake as he took to stand beside Andy. Andy shrugged, looking unperturbed at Junjin’s lack of enthusiasm, and began swinging again. It was like that for a while, Andy swinging and Junjin standing in utter silence, but the quiet didn’t feel as suffocating as it was before. Junjin found that the silence was actually, admittedly, kind of nice.

“I used to go here a lot.”

Realizing that Andy was talking to him, Junjin hummed absently before replying. “With the kids?”

Andy ceased his swinging and started to rock his legs back and forth something. “Well, with them too.”

Junjin had a feeling Andy was going to start ranting about his past again, and wisely chose to keep quiet and listen.

When nothing came Junjin found himself more than slightly bewildered. Andy just looked down at the dirt-laden ground, not looking like he wanted to say anything. Junjin didn’t know what to do in this situation and (he will later realize that this kind of action was horribly out of character for him, but will find that he couldn’t care very much about that issue) so did the first thing that came into his mind. He asked Andy. “Did you go with Eric, then?”

Andy seemed to take his question as an invitation to talk more, because he straightened up and inclined his head slightly so he was more or less face-to-face with Junjin. “Yeah, with Eric. And the kids too.”

Andy paused once more, looking straight at Junjin. Junjin took it as a hint to keep egging him on, “What did you do?”

“Nothing much, just a small picnic once in a while, as a reward for being a good boy all month or something to that effect,” Andy shakily shrugged, trying to look nonchalant but failing, “I—we’d bring them out here and let them out to play as they wish. We’d intervene if they got too violent with each other—I swear they’re the most violent kids I’ve ever met—but otherwise we’d leave them be.”

Junjin nodded attentively at Andy’s story, and watched as Andy heaved a ragged sigh as he looked back to the ground.

“The rest of the time we’d be fooling around with the swings. We’d get some weird looks from a ton of strangers, but the ladies who frequent the playground always greeted us with smiles. They liked to joke about how we looked like a pair of kids ourselves,” Andy laughed, sounding hollow even to Junjin’s ears, “I just—I just kind of miss those times. When everything was still carefree and I didn’t have to worry about surviving another day and stuff.”

Andy paused again, the silence engulfing them both in a shroud of cold stillness. Junjin was about to say that perhaps that was enough for the day, but the broken sob that left Andy’s lips broke into his thoughts and the words just died in his mouth. “I really do miss them.”

It didn’t take much time for Junjin to react, but it did take him a while to realize that he was pushing Andy on the swing set. The chains felt cold to his bare hands, and he pushed at them just barely enough for them to swing forward before letting them settle back in his palms. He pushed Andy till he swung to and fro delicately on the chains, careful not to push him off or to offset the seemingly fragile chains.

They were like that for a few more minutes, silence reigning over them once again. Junjin continued to push while Andy continued to swing. Once, Junjin accidentally took hold of Andy’s hand when trying to push. It felt surprisingly warm to the touch, thin and bony fingers clutching strongly at the chains and blue-green veins bulging out in slight exertion. He took hold of it and pushed once more, not bothering to change his position when Andy’s hand came into contact with his palm once again.

Junjin didn’t know why he was doing this. Junjin did know he was going to regret it to some extent. He also knew that he would want to forget this had ever happened. But Junjin couldn’t bring himself to care about all those thoughts that plague his mind as he continued to push, letting them dissipate to a thin mist in the abyss of his mind. He liked the silence, liked the sudden blankness of his mind and the way that everything felt oh so peaceful for once.

Junjin only stopped when he felt himself getting out of breath, letting his hands rest over the chains (and one of them still over Andy’s hand) to pull the swing into a stop. Andy was looking straight at him, inclining his head at an awkward angle to be able to fully face Junjin. Junjin took pity and angled his head down so Andy was looking at him more comfortably.

“I,” Andy choked, sounding somewhat breathless, “I—thank you. Thank you, Junjin.”

Junjin shook his head, letting go of the swing (and Andy’s warm hand) as he took a step back. “We should head back home now, I’m tired.”

Andy shot up from the swings, stumbling a little when he nearly lost his balance. “Yes, okay, yeah, we should, um, go.”

Junjin nodded, pulling his hand up in a lackluster wave as a goodbye when he began to retrace the steps back to his apartment. A soft tug at the back of his jacket stopped him in his tracks, and he looked back to see Andy taking an insistent hold at the fabric of his jacket. Tilting his head towards Andy to show that he’s listening, Andy took a deep breath.

“How are you,” Andy cut himself off, looking like he wasn’t pleased with what he said. “Why are you so—How—I—Never mind.” Andy ended with a dejected sigh and a shake of the head.

“I just,” Andy abruptly continued, “Can we…Can we start over? I know we haven’t been getting along the best and you may detest me, but I—I want to make this friendship work. So…can we start over again?”

It was Junjin’s turn to pause, regarding Andy’s sincerity as much as he could without being able to see his face. He considered just leaving Andy then and there, but it had been a crazy day and Junjin was clearly not thinking straight. He took Andy’s hand and pried it off his jacket. Once the obstruction was cleared, he shifted to face Andy.

“My name’s Park Choongjae, but I like to be called Junjin.” Junjin extended his right hand towards Andy, “Nice to meet you.”

Junjin didn’t have to see Andy’s face to notice his surprise. And he sure didn’t need to see Andy’s face when he could feel Andy smiling his blindingly bright smile at him as he took Junjin’s hand into a firm hold. “My name’s Lee Sunho, but everyone calls me Andy,” with an eager yet simple handshake Andy concluded his introduction, “It’s very nice to meet you, Junjin.”

AN: Another chapter, and it's actually longer than usual! *^* I did promise to myself (and to you, kind of) that I'd try to update once a month, but January was too hectic for me to handle and I just wanted to die midway through the damn month. This is the start of the fluffier chapters, so yeah, expect lots of moments. And yes, this story isn't completely angst. I'm saving that for other stories ;) Anyways, hope you enjoyed, thanks for everyone who reads this!! :D I appreciate all of you guys!

P.S.: Thank you my friend (you know who you are) who gave me the lovely idea for this chapter. Couldn't have done it without you :D