Boy was he wrong.

The Matchmaker's Masterplan !!

" Urgh! How many times do you expect me to explain?! She will not refuse you! I know, because I've handled similar cases before! " whispered an exasperated Daehyun, to the boy crouched beside him, behind a clump of bushes. They were watching  a short , petite, girl hanging out with her friends in the park.

" But Daehyun!" whined the boy. " It'll be embarassing! Her friends are here too" he complained, turning to Daehyun.

Urgh. No girl will like him. He's like a girl himself! Should I- Oh wait. He paid me so....

" Listen. It makes you manlier to ask a girl out, in front of her friends. It shows that you don't care about what others think, but only about what she will say to you. No matter where " said Daehyun steadily. The boy stared at him blankly.

Daehyun sighed checking his watch. This boy was so annoying. He had to get to school too.

" Trust me on this. My services never fail. I have taught you the necessary:Don't act shy, no skinship yet, and don't blush -"

" But blushing is natural! How can I stop myself?" asked the boy worriedly.

" Shut up. Control yourself. If you blush, then you are a goner" he said warningly. The boy paled.

"I guarantee you, she will not refuse. Now go!" he hissed, pushing the boy out of the bush.

He watched the boy stumble through, to the girl . She looked up at him. He fidgeted. Daehyun facepalmed himself. Then he saw the boy mutter and turn around. But he caught sight of Daehyun, who gave him a death glare, then broke into a strained smile and  gave him the thumbs up sign, when in reality, all he wanted to do was cannon him off to an isolated island.

The boy then turned back to the girl and told something. In a moment, the girl blushed and then slowly,  very slowly, she nodded. The boy cheered and made a move to hug her, but stopped himself just in time. Daehyun sighed in relief and emerged from the bushes. Once again, he had scored.

" Mom! That boy came from a bush! " he heard a kid cry.

Deahyun ignored him and pulled out his tablet. 'Success', he  typed in, next to the boys name. 

"  It's 8.30. School "he sighed.

*****************************************

" Maybe you should stop school and start your own matchmaking company? " suggested Jongup, shutting his locker.

"I need money for that " mumbled Daehyun, pulling out books from his locker.

Jongup scoffed. " Did I hear you right? You have tons of money" he exclaimed, waving at someone. Daehyun scowled. 

" Ah Daehyunnie. You're so boring and serious.  When will be the day, that you will meet the one for you? the one to make you do the impossible?.... to smile? " said Jongup dramatically, closing his eyes. People passing by sniggered at him. 

Daehyun's scowl deepened. " Sorry Jongup. That will never happen " he said, shutting his locker. Jongup sighed.

" That's what you think Daehyunnie. But it will happen eventually...." said a voice suddenly patting his shoulder. Daehyun turned around to see derp number one, who went and stood next to derp number two. 

 The two derps highfived and laughed at the lame joke. 

" Firstly, don't touch me. I don't like it. And secondly don't call me Daehyunnie. So Jongup, now you have Himchan, I'm off to meet a client " said Daehyun, waving dismisively at the two who stared after him. He turned a corner to make it look like he was gone but peeped to look at the two.

" I knew it. They are hiding something from me.... " he said, watching,  the two with narrowed eyes as they whispered and laughed at something. Then Himchan took Jongup's hand and Jongup pulled it back blushing. 

" OMG PEOPLE!!!!! GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!!!!? " came a high pitched, girly  voice right behind Daehyun. He jumped and turned around to see a short girl almost fainting, a huge crowd gathered around her. 

Stupid fainting girl. I'm late for class.

" IT'S... IT'S IT"S YONGGUK!!!!!" she squealed. the crowd was silent. Then there was an uproar.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

" WHAT!!!!

"DID YOU SAY YONGGUK!!!! 

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!??"

  "WTF ARE YOU SAYING WOMAN!!!?" and so on.

Books, papers and food were flying in the air and a shoe hit Daehyun in the face. He growled and looked around to see the owner but half the school was now surrounding the girl.

" HOW DO YOU KNOW!!!! " screamed one girl

" I HEARD THE PRINCIPAL INFORMING ANOTHER TEACHER!!!!!" yelled back the fainting girl, now sobbing in joy, hysterically.

The crowd got excited again. The girls were fainting and clutching onto their friends. Some were even throttling each other.

" WHEN!! OH MY GODS WHEN!!!" a girl wailed like a banshee ... a happy banshee. 

" He's coming back .... NEXT WEEK!!!"  screamed the fainting girl hysterically. Then once again there was an uproar. The boys paled and glanced at each other in fear. YongGuk had bullied most of them. Afterall, it was his hobby.

" Stupid girl. Stupid people. Stupid school. I'm going to make myself some money "  muttered Daehyun, shaking his head and walking to his class, leaving the huge crowd behind. A paper cup landed on his head.

******************************************

" I can't wait!!! He's coming back after what? Seven years!!!"

" He must be sooo good looking now! He was such a hottie back then !"

" Yeah I know right!! He'll be more popular now!"

*Squeals*

Daehyun slammed his book on the table.

" Shut your traps! I, unlike you three want to study and educate myself. So shut up and study or go out NOW!" he growled at the three girls sitting behind him. They glanced at each other, then at Daehyun's angry face. They decided to stay quiet, but whispered to each other very softly.

" Who is this man anyway? A movie star or something? " he muttered, scribbling down a sum onto his paper, trying to figure it out. 

" What?!! You don't remember him?! '' exclaimed a voice next to him, as a girl sat next to Daehyun and opened her books. Daehyun glared at her.

" What?" she asked. 

" No . I don't remember him. I don't think I heve met this man before " came the sullen reply.

The girl sighed and shook her head at Daehyun in a mixture of surprise and distaste.

" Come on now. YongGuk? You can't remember him? You?"

" Me? Why would I remember this man YongGuk? I've never met him before" repeated Daehyun, getting annoyed now.

" He's a boy by the way....Can't you remember him? He was in our grade! " she said, scrunching her face up.

Daehyun raised an eyebrow at her. He pushed his wire rimmed glasses up. Idiot girl. trying to make me remember people I haven't met before.

" Remember in second grade, for drama, when you were painting a tree or something, your hand knocked over the paint bucket and it fell on him?" she said slowly.

Daehyun stared at her blankly. She sighed.

 Daehyun's phone began to buzz.  Oooh. A new appointment. More money!

" Look here. I don't remember this  incident. You are making them up. Now then, I have some business to take care of " he said, getting up abruptly and leaving the class in a huff.

" I'll make sure you remember, Daehyun" promised the girl .

*****************************

Daehyun was in the library checking up on some clients and his accounts

 Hmph. At least here there are no screaming fans of that man.. he thought, highlighting some facts about his clients' to- be- partners.

" Hey." whispered a girl. Daehyun looked up slowly and groaned. It was the same girl in class.

" I will help you remember YongGuk" she continued ignoring Daehyun's warning glares.

" I don't know this man ok. Stop annoying me. This is going too far " hissed Daehyun angrily.

" Look. This is my final try.... I promise " she said. Daehyun stared at her hard. " Ok fine. Spit it out and get lost"

"Remember in third grade during P.E...? You were in a race and... gods this is embarassing" she muttered. Daehyun blinked expectantly." You were in  a race and -" she stopped as she saw realization dawning on Daehyun.

FLASHBACK.

"Oh gods.... I believe....I believe the ground has gotten longer...." thought  eight year old Daehyun struggling to spot the black and white finishing line. It was nowhere in sight. The boy he was running with was a speck in the distance.

" GO DAEHYUN GO!! GET THE HIGHEST SCORE!!! WOOHOO!!!!" he heard Jongup cheering.

"Yes .... there it is...."

Then everything happened in slow motion. The boy Daehyun was running with turned around grinning triumphantly,   Daehyun kept going. Then at the finishing line, he stumbled and tripped over his own untied shoelaces and fell. He landed on the other boy .... but that was not the embarassing part ... The embarrasing part was that his hand was on that boys .... crotch. The look of horror on both boy's faces was indescribable. Daehyun had run away from the scene as fast as he could.

Daehyun was bullied by the other students in school for a while but it eventually stopped as he could care less.

He always avoided that boy and they never met face to face again, and after about three  years, that boy disappeared much to Daehyun's relief, and he eventually forgot about him.

END OF FLASHBACK

" So .... he's coming .... back?" he asked nonchalantly, turning a page in his book and continuing to write. 

The girl stared at him in shock. " Aren't you like .... afraid?"

" Why should I be? I don't really remember this boy come to think of it..... His face is blurry. And I don't think he remembers either.  In fact I could care less about what happened back then. Plus, everyone in the class , looked the same to me." 

Unfortunately it was true. Daehyun couldn't really remember the other boy and after so many years, it was a vague memory.

" Now, if you'll excuse me, I have important matters to attend to" he said getting up and leaving the library.

Boy was he wrong ....

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Comments

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Dewdropz #1
Chapter 11: I read this story over and over again. Its so funny. I love fiesty daehyun and yongguk and everyone else. One of my favorite stories. ♥ You have written such a great fic. :)
bygjdh #2
Chapter 26: Never get tired of this brutally funny randomly fic
I can say that this is the funniest fanfic that i've ever read and i love it with every little piece of my heart
Usually i dont like Ocs but this fic was the excep, i love the barbarian students (kyung sumin gina ily) the teacher, the janitor, the random boy, dae parents, the monkey huhuhuhuhuhu
damchubiased
#3
Chapter 9: Himchan's answer to the riddle lol
damchubiased
#4
I'm down and stressed. I will read this again to lift up my mood, while I'm waiting for "vindictive people" update.
Your story makes me happy (⌒_⌒)
DumaTrz #5
Chapter 27: Ohgodohgodohgodohgod how didn´t I see this earlier 7u7 You are just.. awesome (more than awesome ;; even) This story is one of the best comedies I´ve read so far. God, I couldn´t stahp laughing all the time, I blame you for that :c
JunYoung1004
#6
Chapter 27: You are awesome ! I spend two whole night with your story and I won't regret it. *crying for no reason* I love it as much I love Zelo. Lol XD
uXknowme
#7
Chapter 27: This story is funny! XD There's no way I didn't laugh!

My favourite part is the splat splat pooping sound in the chapter where Dae hid inside a cubicles X'D VERY HILLARIOUS!
Oh! I have a question! So Dae is really innocent? Till the end?? And at the end he likes Yongguk back right?? Nyahahaha there's mention of but no M rated here
bdz357998 #8
Chapter 26: This was hilarious!!!
proudweirdo
#9
Chapter 26: lol thank god i have read this again after a year. wait.. was it really a year? how could i be unsure :( but ahhh srsly, this is the best story for me. XD i remember i kept re-reading this and i cant stop laughing.. and now.. omfg you really are the best author ;u; the type of story you'll never get bored by re-reading it over and over again. *u*