I arrived home, desperate to get there. I wanted to finish my homework and just get over all of it. I wanted to get there and find Key waiting for me. But, again, as if that would happen. I knew he wouldn’t come back. He was gone. He left me. And he was probably mad at me. None of it made any sense, I swear. The thing is, when I got home, I found nothing of what I had expected. Mom was crying on the living room, with a pack of letters stuck together with a red rubber band on her hands. 

She looked up to me and I could see her dark, red eyes. “Wha-What is that?” I said, confused for a bit. I proceeded to sit beside her, in an attempt to comfort her in some way, even if I had no idea of what had happened to her. “These are yours, Sun,” she said, handing me the letters. I quickly took the rubber band off and grabbed the first letter on the pile, patiently opening it. The letter started with “Dear Key” … I quickly looked up to my mom. “Why didn’t you send them?” I could feel tears starting to overflow over the cover of my left eye. “Because he wouldn’t have read them.” I could feel my right eye catching up with the left and quickly after, rivers started to flow down my face.

“Why wouldn’t he, Mother? He loves me,” I covered my face in my hands. “Because he’s dead, Sun! Get over it! Don’t you remember? You were with him when he died! In Seoul! Try to focus and come back to reality! You’re being ridiculous! It’s been more than three years now! And you always forget! Why, Sun, why? Why can’t you just try to be normal for once!?”

That’s when I lost it. Because I knew it was true. I ran up to my room and cried for what felt like hours. I was sitting on the floor, pressing my knees hard into my chest. My mom was banging at the door, trying to get me to open it. Something she wouldn’t achieve. The tears made everything incredibly blurry, but I decided to grab a piece of paper and looked for my favorite black pen and tried to write the last letter to Key.

Dear Key,

I know about it now. I finally figured it out. I finally remembered. You’re dead. I love you, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t forget about you. Not now. But I think I finally understood. You’re still the most valuable thing in my life and I don’t know how I’ll survive. That cancer took the most important person out of my life. For all I know tomorrow I won’t even remember the truth.  I’ll just think you’re on a trip to Seoul, like you were before you died. That’s why I’m writing this down and keeping all the letters. Because this way, I know I won’t forget. About you. About us. After all, you once said it. What we have, or what we had, is forever.

With Love,

Sunny