Just One Moment
The Howling - Part III: Imprinting
Joonmyun knew that his description of life and school wasn't great, but he'd spent so much time trying to be perfect and please everyong that he hadn't paid much attention to anything else. For the past six years, his goal had been to be the best he could be in his parents eyes, to be the top in his class, and lead as many things as the school provided or that his teacher recommended. It was then that he realized he had done nothing for himself, save for that time when he and Baekhyun had been together.... that one time, and that one day.... when everything had been about them and only them.
That was in the past. He and Baekhyun had made the decision that it was best to just stay friends, that things were easier this way. They had been easy, simple, and then Joonmyun had decided he was done pretending, run off, been captured, and here he was.
"Sometimes..." he spoke quietly, unsure if he should say anything or not. "Sometimes... I wonder if staying here would make things simpler. I'm around people who like me for me, people who don't expect me to be someone that I'm not." Joonmyun turned and glanced at Jongin again, uncertainty in his eyes for a moment.
And then he chuckled dryly. "But that's silly. I don't belong here." No matter how much everyone made him feel at home, made him feel like this is where he should be, this would never be home, would never be the right place for him. Danger lurked everywhere, and the only safety was with a boy he didn't completely trust, a boy who made him feel like he knew he shouldn't.
The icy, empty feeling returned when Jongin released his hand and pulled away, and Joonmyun wrapped his arms around his mid section before shifting beneath the covers. Their warmth didn't relieve the cold completely, but they still made him feel safe. Quietly, he turned to his side, facing Jongin, and he closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to claim him.
Jongin's chest tightened at the elder's words, his eyes still on the ceiling but his gaze unfocused, unseeing as he curled his fingers into his palms. "Silly..." he replied in a soft voice, feeling the bed dip when Joonmyun rolled onto his side, before he closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh.
He knew... this would never be Joonmyun's home. He would never feel safe here, never feel like he belonged, would never feel like he was /right/ for Jongin. The bond was to blame. Jongin was to blame for being wolf. The ruler of the universe was to blame for making such a cosmic joke out of their situation.
"Don't worry..." he spoke again, voice just as soft as he rolled onto his side towards Joonmyun, eyes taking in the boy that he couldn't just forget... the boy that he was so hooked on. It woul hurt Kai to let him go, but there was no other way. The wolf was just going to have to deal.
He reached out a hand, fingers barely an inch from the elder male's face, resisting so hard the urge to touch what he couldn't have, and after a moment he pulled back, turning to lie with his back facing Joonmyun, body curling up and arms pulled close to his chest.
Sleep didn't claim Joonmyun for several hours, and he lay in bed, resisting the urge to toss and turn in an attempt to find a position that was comfortable. He did shift once or twice, giving into the itch beneath his skin that didn't want him to stay still. For a long time, he debated on getting up and walking around the room or going to sit out on the balcony, but he knew Jongin would sense it and Joonmyun didn't want him to worry.
So, he let his mind wander, hoping that it would eventually wear out and he'd be able to drift off. It didn't work. In fact, the more he let his mind roam, the more awake he became. Sometime, amidst the god-awful early morning hours, Joonmyun let out a soft whine and rolled over. He found himself only several inches from Jongin's warmth, and a delightful haze settled over his mind.
It frightened him, how being close to Jongin, touching him made so much of an impact on his senses. Joonmyun knew he should have pulled away, rolled back over to curl up in a different spot, but he was too tired to care, and the blissful warmth offered hope and promise of a peaceful sleep. So, he curled into that warmth, into Jongin, and let go. The darkness claimed him quickly, dragging him down so fast that he felt like he was falling.
With a fitful sleep, came those same dark nightmares. For much of the night, Jongin slept curled as tight as he could into a ball, back still to Joonmyun, but come dawn, no... perhaps even earlier, there was a shift, something soft and warm and gentle in the back of his subconscious. The touch was familiar, tasting of sunlight and gentleness and innocence, and he relaxed almost instantly.
Somewhere deep down, he knew what it was. A soft sigh left him, and he slowly turned in his sleep, fingers searching in his slumber to slowly take hold of the elder's shirt. Not physically touching hiim, but enough that his dreams were no longer plagued by the darkness that floated in the deepest realms of his subconscious.
Even if he had to let Joonmyun go, even if he had to deny the instinctual pull of the bond that he now had to ignore, he wanted just a few moments, a few fleeting, short... sweet moments that he could cherish and think back on when he'd helped Joonmyun return to his former life.
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