78th Friend
Anonymous Friend (친구) - Advice Column
ATimidInspirit: Hi! Well, actually I have somethings that always bother me. It's about my friends. Well, there's so much problems. So, I'll start with this problem first. I have a friend name Zue (it's her nickname), I'm kind of confused cause I have never taught she as my best friends but I'm always comfortable with her and people might think that we're BFF cause we always stick together. It's not like I don't like her or what. It's just I don't like her personality. She's quite bossy and well, always changed her bias. Sometimes it's will annoyed me. Yeahh, we never fight but actually she should thanks to me cause I don't like to fight and it's useless if I'm fighting with her just for this little reasons right? So, let's continue to my 2nd problem. Do you know what's ask.fm? If yes, thanks god cause I'm quite lazy to explain it to you. ^-^ Actually I have a friend that has same interests with me. To me, she's nice but to my other friends and my twin (it's Zue) she's not a good girl. Well, in ask.fm I'm always ask anonymously about what she thinks about me and it's nice cause among of her friends she choose me to be the one that she like the most although we're not that close. So, what should I do? Should I stick together and forever with my twin or should I be the 2nd girl's best friends? Should I be friends with her although my other friends hate her? Ermm.. If you want some evidence about the 2nd girl saying that's she like me the most. You can find it here>http://i.imgur.com/e8mkH.jpg Sorry if it's too lon
Friend: Dear ATimidInspirit,
No one can find the perfect friends and there will always be something that’ll be a pet peeve of a friends, like their constant change in biases :P However, it’s our decision whether to put up with it or walk away.
Before I start, I just want to tell you that you don’t have to choose between the two of them. You can in fact have more than one best friend, take it from me since I have 3 amazing ones. And because of this, you don’t have to choose one without the other. Just because you find that you favor your second friend more, does not mean that you should dump Zue like a used tissue in the blink of an eye. I mean, would you want her to do that to you?
Now onto the other issues. Friendship is about compromise and that’s just what you may have to do with Zue. Just because you two might clash in certain areas, doesn’t mean this friendship should end. The fact that you’re comfortable around her says something, does it not? Would you really be willing to lose her as a friend? Since you do tend to dislike some qualities about her, why not be honest and mention your opinion. Don’t be mean and yell out her imperfections because I’m pretty sure you have some yourself. Just calmly tell her that you find her to be a bit bossy at times. Also, just because you don’t see yourselves being best of friends till the end of time, doesn’t mean that you two can’t simply be friends(:
You will come across this dilemma more than once – a friend not liking another one of your friends. But one thing I want to tell you is that you don’t have to let go of either one of them. Just because one friend doesn’t like the other, doesn’t mean you have to choose sides and hate the other friend as well. After all, they’re your friends and no one is forcing the two to be friends if the other doesn’t like the latter.
Friends will come and go ATimidInspirit and based on how long they stay will determine how much of a friend they really are. If you guys find yourself arguing more than necessary then I think it’s time you two should slowly put some distance between you and let time take its course. Yet if it’s a friendship worth keeping then you’ll both try your utmost best to have it stay there(:
Sorry I couldn’t get to your letter sooner. Hope you had a nice Christmas and have a Happy New Year(:
~(Chingu) 친구
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