70th Friend
Anonymous Friend (친구) - Advice Column
Desperate and hungry: My best guy friend asked me out, and not wanting to ruin our ever so awesome friendship, I turned him down. To this, he simply shrugged it off and didn't seem too bothered by it. Weeks later, I started to like him. I know, I feel so lame, don't know why.
I wasn't sure if it was a mere crush, or something bigger. Another week later, I realized that I REALLY did like him. I didn't want to seem desperate, so I ignored the fact that I liked him and said nothing to him. Yet another week went by, and my plan for ignoring my crush oh him fails and I find myself totally falling for the guy.
How am I supposed to 'ask him out' without being awkward? :/
Friend: Dear Desperate and hungry,
It’s quite cute and adorable when two friends fall for one another and you guys can be off and running towards a happily ever after, yet you need to realize two things first: 1.) do you really like the guy and 2.) Does he still like you? Here’s my say on the matter:
When I ask you whether you like him, I’m simply curious. Do you like him because of who he is as a person, or do you like him by the fact that he confessed and you want a boyfriend? Have you ever had a boyfriend before Desperate and hungry? Are you infatuated with the idea of having a boyfriend, whether it be your friend or just anybody cute? And have you only begun to like him just because he said he liked you first? You need to answer these question before you say that you like him Desperate and hungry. Often times, after a guy confesses his feelings to a girl only then does a girl say she likes him just because she’s smitten with the idea of having a boyfriend and imagining all of the cute couple stuff they could possibly do. Make sure your feelings are confirmed and you won’t make a hasty decision you might regret later(:
Now onto the matter on whether or not your feelings are now mutual. He confessed to you and you turned him down – kinda ouch to be honest Desperate and hungry. If he shrugged it off then he might have been doing the thing that all guys are notoriously known for – playing it off cool yet feeling something different on the inside. He may have not wanted to seem too down in the dumps and pretended to act like he didn’t care. Whether that is true or not we girls will never know. However, you can still find out whether he still has that tiny spark in his eyes just.for.you ;]
If you guys are best friends, then try and act normal. Offer to go catch a movie together and hang out like you usually do but try to up your game a little bit. If you guys usually go for ice cream, try and share a cup together. Be playful and even offer him to try some of yours. If you find yourself laughing so hard, lean on him a little. Guys love it when girls give them that little bit of contact. If you’re really daring, try and put your head on his shoulder if you’re tired and try to figure out how he reacts whether it’s good or bad. And with the holidays around the corner, if you guys just so happen to be standing underneath a mistle toe, try to see his reaction on whether he’s excited by the idea or downright uncomfortable. If he’s blushing and smiling that goofy smile, why not pull out some confidence and lean in a little to show him that you’re willing to meet him half way? ;] If you aren’t into that kind of flirting, then try to casually slip in the question. No not the question of, “will you go out with me?” but a more casual one of, “do you like anyone?” or “I was wondering if you still liked me.” If you ask him whether he still likes you, he’ll already know that you’ve been thinking about it. He could either be thrilled and tell you that he still does or he could shrug it off and say no. However, if he smiles and asks you why, I don’t see any reason for you to hold back and be truthfully honest. After all, you’ve already said that you’ve fallen for the guy so why not let the truth come out?(: You’ll never know what he’ll say until you say it first.
Personally Desperate and hungry, if I was in your situation I’d go natural. By that I mean to say let nature take its course. If you two were meant to be a couple, then the time will happen and sparks will fly at the right time. The fact that you two are already best of friends says a lot and if that magical moment does happen, every second will be more worthwhile with the fact that it wasn’t forced and happened smoothly. But hey, that’s just silly me :P
Sorry that I couldn’t reply sooner Desperate and hungry >_< Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years(:
~(Chingu) 친구
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