40th Friend
Anonymous Friend (친구) - Advice Column
Anonymous: I think what you've been doing here is really amazing. So here's what I wanted to say.
I have a really low self esteem. Especially on appearance. I mean, I don't have eyelids, I wear glasses, and I have braces as well. My voice is all nasal, and my hair is pretty short, I'm far from feminine. I'm basically a stereotypical nerd, only I'm not smart. I've already heard that crap on how "everyone's beautiful," and "its the inside that counts," but it's easy for them to say, since they're the ones that are gorgeous.
Sometimes I think that I wouldn't care if I were to die. Like, those crimes you hear on TV, stabbings, shootings, etc. I wouldn't mind having that happen to me. I mean, obviously you want to live, but I'm fine either way, its not like I was blessed with anything anyways.
Im sorry for wasting space here, but I just wanted to say this. Thanks.
Friend: Dear Anonymous,
I read how you’re tired of hearing that “crap” but I’ll be the one to say it again, only more realistically. I’ll be honest and say that not everyone’s beautiful, because there are some pretty foul people living on this planet. However, who’s to say you don’t have something that’s “you” all your own? So what if you don’t have eyelids, big whoop. Who’s to say that eyelids define beauty? You wear glasses? A lot of people do, if it bothers you then ask your parents about contacts(: Getting called “brace-face” just because of your braces might right now, but once those metal brackets come off; you’ll be stunning people with those perfectly aligned teeth followed by a killer smile ;) Even though the saying “everyone’s beautiful” isn’t true, there are two saying that I believe are true: everyone has a beauty to them and the inside does count.
I know, I know, you’re probably going to throw a comeback at me saying, “If the inside really does count them how come guys always go for the pretty girls and not the nice ones?” Or vice versa. Well it’s only because we’re blind right now. No I don’t mean physically blind like you’ll never see the sun again. I just mean that right now, we’re at a point where all we care about is looks. We all want to have the best hair, the best body, the best face, etc. But that’s only because people use their eyes first and not their brains. Think of it this way – when we’re all going to be old, will it really matter who had the best face 50+ years ago? Of course not. Wouldn’t you rather spend the remainder of your years with someone who can crack a joke that the two of you get, or smile at the great memories you two shared? Doesn’t that sound far more appealing?
Sad truth of the matter is though, that as teens and young adults we are blinded by glitter, sparkle, etc. Beauty is only skin deep, personality goes straight through to the heart(: Beauty can catch the eyes but it’s personality that catches the heart. I can go on forever, throwing quotes at every angle about beauty and personality but that’s not what you came here for.
If you don’t like the way you look, then I see no reason why you can’t change it(: It kind of annoys me when people go on complaining about their looks when the truth of the matter is, they can always change them. You think all those pretty people out there were simply born with god-like good looks? Of course not, they worked for it. Who’s to say that the skinny girl wasn’t overweight before? Who’s to say that the nicest girl out there didn’t go through a lot of hardship? If you don’t like your hair, then wait for it to grow out and turn it into something you like(: Who says that you have to necessarily be feminine to be a beauty? Believe it or not, our generation is changing. Guys don’t always go for the girly-girls anymore. They like a girl with some sass who’s strong ;) You say you’re a nerd, where does it say that? Just because some people may have labeled you as that, doesn’t mean you’re walking around with a sign on your forehead that reads so. If you really don’t like the way you are right now, then go ahead and change it. Have a fresh new start and put the old “you” behind yourself.
Losing interest in life is a big issue Anonymous, I’d really consider talking to someone close to you about this. We were all brought into this world for a reason, so I don’t think anyone should take advantage of that and simply throw away their life. You say you aren’t blessed with anything but that’s a lie. Do you have a roof over your head, food on the table, friends and family? I know we may view those as basic necessities but hey, there are tons of people out there who can only dream about those things. If you’re really saying, “Oh heck with life” I think that you should try and reach out to someone. I know you say you don’t care whether you were to die but in reality, I know that somewhere deep down inside that if someone were to hold a gun to your forehead and pull the trigger, you’d really regret saying such words and wish for you to live. Talking to someone can really help ease some of the weight off of your shoulders. If you don’t want your parents knowing about this, then go ahead and talk to the school’s counselor. I know they are stereotyped as people who can’t possibly help, but either way you’ll have someone to listen and they can’t say anything to anyone since its confidential information. Having someone listen can make a difference, after all – didn’t you feel at least a little bit better after sending this letter?(:
Keep your head held up high and I really wish the best for you Anonymous(:
~(Chingu) 친구
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