TroubleTrouble: Hi, I have a problem with adapting with my new school. I'm just a high school freshmen and having a problem making new friends. I do have friends but they always enjoyed their own conversation about their elementary school friends and I can't join them because I don't know what they are talking about. I always make myself busy with reading books, doing my homework or listening to music at school and became quiet. Unlike my usual self. Maybe some people think that I'm a cold person because of this. Can you gave me some advice ?

Friend: Dear TroubleTrouble,

It’s always hard being put into a new environment with new people but I’ll tell you a little secret – there are people just like you who are having just as much trouble as you in making friends. It’s hard being the kid who came from a different elementary/middle school but you can’t possibly be the only one like that.

Next time your friends start laughing about a distant memory, it’s ok if you ask them what’s so funny (just don’t sound mad, hurt, or jealous. Simply smile and ask them what happened that made them laugh so much). They could explain the memory to you and maybe you’ll find yourself laughing alongside them the next time that story pops up again. Or maybe turn the tables on them and you be the story teller. Heck, throw in one of your own funny stories from an earlier time and let them join in on it.

If they see that you’re only sitting there and not doing anything, they’ll only assume that you’re a quiet person who has no interest in talking or joining in on the conversation. Prove them wrong(:

TroubleTrouble, this is high school, you should enjoy every moment of it! You say you bury yourself in books but you shouldn’t do such a thing because trust me, you’ll have your whole life to go and read a book whenever you want to but you’ll only have 4 years to be a high school student (that is unless you fail…DON’T FAIL!) You’ll have plenty of time back at home to listen to music or finish reading that book. But when you’re in school, it’s good to pay attention in class and enjoy yourself with your friends as well :)

You say that you aren’t usually quiet, am I right? I know it’s hard to be the first one to say a simple hi, but once you take that first step, the rest will soon follow. I’m not telling you to go up to some random stranger and start a conversation, that’s a big no-no. I mean, next time you see a classmate next to you struggling with a problem on the board, offer to help him/her. If you see someone in class, that you haven’t met yet, and is sitting by themselves looking lonely; go up and say , “Hey I’m ____. What’s your name?” If the school year just started then I promise you, there are tons of kids worried and lost as much as you are who are willing to make new friends like you(:

A small conversation could lead to a blooming friendship. If you like a girl’s shoes go ahead and tell her that you think they’re cute. Who knows, maybe she’ll throw a compliment back and invite you to sit at lunch with her. If you think a guy’s shirt is cool, go ahead and tell him. It doesn’t hurt to give out a compliment every now and then.

As for your current friends, try and open up to them a little. I don’t think anyone finds you to be a cold person, maybe they’re just as shy as you are. Try to find a common ground or see what you guys all like. It could vary from the type of music you all like (if they like kpop, keep them. LOL) to your favorite event in the Olympics. Either way, showing them that you’re willing to talk will encourage them to keep the conversation going as well(:

This is only your freshman year TroubleTrouble, it’ll get better. Just you wait and see(:

~(Chingu) 친구