29th Friend
Anonymous Friend (친구) - Advice ColumnAnonymous: There's this guy in my school... We both like each other. Like a lot. Ever since 4th grade. The thing is, we're still 7th graders and my parents won't allow me to date until I'm at least a junior in high school. He asked me out and in the moment, I said yes. The next day we promised to keep it a secret from our parents since we really can't wait until 11th grade. Another thing, the guilt's getting to me. I really don't like lying to my parents like this, but I don't want to turn him down. What should I do??? :(
Friend: Dear Anonymous,
First thing I’ll tell you is that you seriously don’t need to rush things. I know you might hear this a lot but you’re still so young! 7th grade is still middle school and you’ve barely just begun!
It’s never a good thing to lie to anyone, especially your parents. What kind of a world do we live in where we have to hold things back from our family members? Not a good one, I’ll tell you that. If you think that over time the guilt will lighten, it won’t. It’ll only continue to pester you at the back of your head until it finally explodes, and that won’t do you any good. The longer you keep this away from them, the harder it’ll be.
Parents think that everything they do is best for their child, especially when it comes to dating. Some might be overprotective and others might not give the time of day and not care for their child. I wouldn’t go as far as letting a child not date until 11th grade, but if the issue is really bothering you then talk to them about it. It’s always hard to bring up the dating topic with your parents but it has to come up eventually, right? If this guy is really worth it, then you’ll sit down and try to explain to your parents how he means a lot to you(: We all worry that our parents will yell at us, scold us, etc. But we can never be sure unless we actually ask them, right? Try to be calm and level-headed when explaining the situation to them and they should do the same(:
If your parents won’t come through, then talk to the guy about holding off your relationship. If you truly mean a lot to him, he’ll wait for you until you’re allowed to date(: And once the wait is over, it’ll all be worth it, I guarantee it(: From what you’re telling me, if he’s waited for you since the 4th grade, I’m sure he can wait a few more years for the sake of your relationship. And things will be easier later in life when he will get your parents approval(:
I know you must be tired of hearing this, but please hear me out. You’re only in 7th grade, what’s the rush in getting into a relationship? I know you might be thinking he’s definitely the one and you may even love him, but I don’t think you should ever rush into things (especially a relationship). You’re still young, so why not enjoy your youth? Live your life to its full extent! Once you hit high school, you’re going to ask and wonder where half of your childhood went. You’re gonna wish for time to stop and slow down, even though right now you’re probably praying for it to speed up. Stop running through life and stop to smell the roses(:
Wishing you luck Anonymous(:
~(Chingu) 친구
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