Changmin was freaking out. Early this morning he found himself in a bed, with a girl.

The same girl, he met months ago.

The same girl, he had blindly kissed last night due to anger. 

Changmin was driving down the highway towards his house, cursing to himself.

But yet he didn’t felt that it was wrong. He felt relived, secured and a little of anger plus guilt.
He left Jaemi at the hotel with a note; apologising and stating it was a mistake. He felt pain in his heart while writing this note for her; even now he does feel that particular sharp pain in his chest.

~~

His phone had been ringing non-stop since an hour ago, only one ID was shown – Jaemi.
What about him? Did he miss me? I haven’t been home for the last 24 hours, and I don’t hear a phone call from him. He’s always looking out for me, where is he now? Changmin cried to himself while reminding himself of the Yunjae moment that had happened yesterday.

Changmin has been sitting on the beach for nearly 4 hours; there hasn’t been a single call from his partner. He was devastated. He gave everything up for Yunho. He never complained about having a divided love from him, always calling out some other person’s name other than him.

The sun was setting; Changmin’s eyes were bloating and red. He stood up and and walked towards the car.

“You’re really here.” A voice came from his right.

That voice brings the guilt back into his chest; yet he felt his heart pumping faster than usual.
He turned around and his swollen eyes met the same swollen eyes, he knew she had cried.

“How…How do you know where i…I am?” He asked shakily.

“You mentioned before that when you’re not feeling good, you would be at a beach to let it all out.” Jaemi took a step forward; forcing Changmin  to lean on the car door.

“Do you know how long I have been looking for you? Do you know worried I am?’ Jaemi started shouting at Changmin harshly as tears started to flow down her cheeks.

“I…I…” Changmin started to stutter.

“I know you don’t love me, but please don’t avoid me. We can forget everything and move on! We’re still friends!” Jaemi hugged Changmin and started sobbing loudly.

Changmin felt a sharp pain in his chest as he wrapped his arms around Jaemi. Yet, he just pushed those feelings aside as that one particular man’s image came in mind…

Life isn’t fair… He thought to himself.

~~

“Oh, you’re still up?” a smiling manly man entered the dark living hall, only to find Changmin sitting at the couch staring at the blank television.

It has been two week since Changmin last saw Yunho, he decided to stay up late at night to just catch a glimpse of him. If those weeks hasn’t been a pain to him, trying to avoid Jaemi as much since it gets pretty awkward, this just blew everything out of apportion.

Yunho came home at 3 in the morning, Changmin was furious yet he didn’t want to lose Yunho. He kept silence and went to bed.

“Hey baby.” Yunho called out as he spooned with Changmin on the bed.

Don’t you baby me, Changmin boils up, every single part of him wanted to push him away but his heart just stop it from happening.

“Are you angry? I’m sorry. Don’t be like this.” Yunho coated his words with sugar.

Changmin just continued to pretend to sleep.

“CHANGMIN! Don’t you be a ! If you can’t stand me, let’s just break up!” Yunho shouted.

Upon hearing that word, Changmin sprung up and looked at him.

Yunho just smiled and hugged him,”I know you’re awake.”

Months went by, Changmin knew Yunho have been going out to meet Jaejoong in secret. He have been meeting Jaemi once every 2 weeks or lesser. Jaemi, too, felt the awkwardness since she texted him about not being worried and that they are friends. These words just hurt Changmin a lot.

Changmin was at the balcony staring into the dark, lonely sky; sipping wine and enjoying that soft, smooth flowing music.

All of the sudden, the door slammed opened.

“You !” Yunho shouted.

Changmin stood up and went forward, Yunho was drunk, he confirmed.

“You’re two-timing me, Changmin!” Yunho swung his arms towards Changmin.

Changmin was lost for words. Me, two-timing?

“Who’s that ? I thought you love me!” Yunho continued shouting.

Changmin had gotten slapped and thrown down. He was beaten up by Yunho badly, yet he doesn’t want to stop him. It wasn’t the first time in those months that Yunho had physically abused him. Yunho always apologised to him in the morning.

I need him. He’s my soulmate. Changmin could only think of this.

After all that abuse, Yunho fall flat of the ground; sleeping. This was what Changmin was afraid of, the after-drunk speech was never good.

“Boo. I miss you.” Yunho cried in his sleep, Changmin started to tear up again.

“I…I love you.” Yunho continued as Changmin’s tears started to flow down his cheeks.

Changmin stood up and carried the drunken man to their bed, after placing him on the bed, he would go to the toilet and clean up. Before that, he would take a penknife and start to draw deep cuts into his wrists. He needed that physical pain to stop his emotional pain.

After cleaning up, he went to bed, next to Yunho. He felt warmth when Yunho hugged him from the back. He was happy, till this sentence came out of Yunho’s mouth, “JaeJoong, I love you and no one else. I want to be with you forever and ever. I love you.”

Changmin’s tears just came back into his eyes again.

In that lonely night, he sobbed silently waiting for bright morning to arrive; he needs to face a Yunho who likes him, or pretends to.

~~~~

A/N: Alright, i know i promised double updates this week. Well, double updates in a week, alright?
Next Chapter will be the end. Yes, i know this is sad right now. But it will be better, trust me.
I just like sad stuff first. Anyway, Support my other fic - I miss you, do you?
Thanks for the commets and subscriptions!