I know it's been forever. I'm so sorry.

I was having a writer's block and yeah, it .
I wrote this chapter ages ago, wanting to amend it before uploading...
But then I left it there without doing anything...
That's why I've decided to post it despite its unacceptably short length.

I'm sorry if I've let you down.

The world spun around the circle formed among the four of them. Youngjae and the twin stood opposite to each other with contrasting facial expressions: hatred and innocence, respectively. Jongup and I looked at them, bewildered and awkward. Exchanging glances, tension built within the circle and Jongup fiddled the lower hem of his hoodie while biting his lower lips. People threw us unfriendly glances for standing in the middle of the rink but we could only care less.

“Oppa I-“

“Don’t ‘oppa’ me.” The girl’s sentence was cut by Youngjae’s quick and intimidating rejection. Youngjae’s eyes burned with anger as he stared into the depths of the now tearing girl. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. This side of Youngjae was new to me.

“I’m Hyeri…”

“Does that make any difference? Get out of my way.” My fuming friend spat onto the girl’s face. Youngjae told me Cheri was the cheating one, and his reaction at the moment freaked me out for real. I had no idea what this girl had done to my best friend but that was mean. She was a girl after all.

“Youngjae…”

“Leave. Are you deaf?” He was getting out of control and I held out my hand to try to prevent Youngjae from pushing the girl or inflicting whatever physical harm on her. “If you’re not leaving, I am.” At once, Youngjae stormed away in the speed of light and didn’t even look back. Before I knew it, he exited the rink and began untying his skates. Jongup looked at me with a slight, worried frown and I shrugged, telling him I had no idea what to do either. The younger boy standing on the other corner or the triangle opened his mouth to say something but then decided not to. I guess he didn’t want to risk anything.

I was sandwiched between my best friend and his ex, and I thought I could choose Youngjae with no doubt, but… perhaps the wobbling tears in Hyeri’s eyes evoked my sympathy for her. Youngjae’s reaction was too fierce and harsh; too much for the leg-shaking girl before me.

“Hyunnie hyung,” The younger boy finally spoke up, “I’ll stay here with Hyeri. Go after Youngjae hyung before he goes crazy.” He gave me an assuring look and I hesitantly nodded.

I was worried. I didn’t want Jongup to be with this girl despite how fragile, innocent and vulnerable she looked. She was one of the twins. Though she was Hyeri, nor Cheri, my heart was still filled with anxiety. Jongup had been going out a lot for pre-university activities – what if he made the wrong friends? He often stopped by the café for a cup hot, fragrant cup of mocha. Even if he wasn’t really friends with the twins, it still scared the hell out of me. I knew that he was over-dependent and I was over-possessive but…

Well, he was way better with people with his simple mind and cheerful character, something I lacked.

“I’ll… get going then.” I stated flatly and unconfidently as I turned around biting my inner cheeks nervously and glided towards the exit. Before stepping out, I searched for Jongup’s eyes that were still on me, and received, from him, a look filled with support.

I immediately found a spot to sit down and untied the annoying knots on my skates before I dumped them in the counter and dashed out to the shopping mall the rink was in. Murmuring numerous “excuse me”, I swam across the excited crowd and looked around, hoping that Youngjae hadn’t gone too far yet. Imagining I was Youngjae, I tried to see in his perspective and searched for hiding places or something similar. I realized that I have succeeded after hearing familiar sobbing sounds.

“Jae.” I called as I threw myself onto him, almost leaping, and kneeled in front of the sitting boy. He hugged his knees and let tears flow freely southwards while sitting in a corner somewhere, clearly not wanting to talk about anything now. So I made up my mind to sit beside him, patting his shoulder, attempting to encourage him a little.

“I…” He confessed in-between his sobs, “I just can’t, can’t f-face them anymore.” I hummed in response to tell him to go on. “I don’t want anyone, any of the three of us h-hurt. I know I inflicted a lot of pain on Hyeri. I know. But I…”

“Calm down. Take a deep breath buddy.” He took my suggestion, drawing air slowly and weakly into his lungs, then exhaled just as slowly. He gulped.

“But I didn’t know any better way to do that.” He spoke clearly with his head up and turning to the side, facing me. “There are no better ways than making them lose their feelings, you know.” I my dry lips, thinking of something, anything to say just to make this sobbing mess feel better.

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s my stupidity.”

“It’s not.”

“It is! you for telling me white lies.” Youngjae swore and stared at me with intense eyes, “It is my fault for falling in love with two people. It’s my fault for thinking that they’re the same. There are no identical people in this world, Dae, none. It’s horrible to be unable to identify even the person you love.”

I gulped, not know how to respond to his sudden outburst of philosophical theories. I could only nod to show him I was listening, hoping that he would accept this seemingly insincere response. Youngjae wiped off his slowly drying tears with the back of his hands shifted a little before pulling himself up to his feet. “Let’s go get Jongup and leave this ing place. I’m going to treat you two meats. Come on.” He held out a hand and he pulled me up after I grabbed it, muttering a “thanks” in the process.

Youngjae waited outside the rink when I desperately tried to get Jongup’s attention from skating in circles. He wasn’t with Hyeri anymore, it seemed, and I was relieved. Jongup looked at me with puppy eyes overflowing with concern, and skated towards me almost as soon as he saw me, bumping into a few persons on the way and almost falling on his knees when I thought he wouldn’t. I steadied him when he tried to step out from the rink and dragged him out after he was done with removing his clumsy footwear. Jongup obediently complied and followed me out to meet a smiling Youngjae. Confused with Youngjae’s smile, Jongup looked at me with nervous eyes filled with questions. I smiled it off and signalled him to follow us. Jongup grabbed my shoulders when I turned around, demanding an answer, but I pressed my index fingers against my lips and hushed him with a mischievous wink.

Meats! Thank you so much, Youngjae.

“Oh how could I forget, an extra serving of beef ribs, please? I have no incentive to fight with you two. I’m going to pay for my own serving of ribs if you want Youngjae, so don’t stop me.” I finished my sentence with a smile, “That’s all! Thank you.” The waiter raised his eyebrow in a funny way and walked away after thanking us. I looked everywhere except for Youngjae and Jongup’s eyes with a cocky expression on my face. You couldn’t stop me, Youngjae, you couldn’t.

We couldn’t stop ourselves from chatting away until the food came, where all three of us beamed dramatically as soon as we saw meat placed on the table, and automatically dug in excitedly. Christmas plans, Jongup’s awaiting university life, lame jokes, fighting over beef ribs… Jongup and I brought up all kinds of topic, deliberately and obviously avoided the topic of the twins. It shocked both of us when Youngjae brought that up. He sure gave us a lot of surprises today.

“Don’t you want to know about Hyeri and Cheri?” Youngjae asked, munching on fresh lettuce as he spoke, “As a person you should recognise and satisfy your curiosity, you know.” He said, almost sounding serious.

“Is this a joke?” Jongup caused me an outbreak of uncontrollable laughter with his innocence when he said this. The speaker cocked his eyebrow telling us it was intended, further embarrassing Youngjae.

“Rude, you’re so rude.” Youngjae complained playfully while pointing at Jongup, “This boy is really something… Tsk.” Jongup returned to his normal self by smiling brightly, and Youngjae’s anger faded soon. We all continued eating before Youngjae stopped us with another surprise.

“I’m trying to get rid of them and their feelings for me. You know me; I’m in no way a jerk like that…” Youngjae spoke as he chewed. You’re in every way a jerk, Yoo Youngjae, I joked in my heart. “It’ll benefit all three of us, I mean the twins and I, if I step out of their circle. Don’t you guys think so?” Youngjae continued without being asked to.

Jongup hummed half-heartedly, thinking of a proper response. I made use of the moment to speak, “What’s your fear to be honest. Why are you so afraid?”

“Trying to remove this dirty speck from my life I guess?”

“Everybody makes mistakes. Why do you have to avoid it.”

“Just let me, Dae. Just let me. It’s like… a shadow I’m scared to step into again.”

“Coward.”

“Yes I am, so what? You yourself are a big fat coward.” Youngjae fumed again. This guy was definitely PMS-ing.

“The meat is… going to be burnt if you don’t remove it from the stove soon…” Jongup randomly popped into our raging conversation and the both of us did what Jongup suggested, at the same time staring into each other’s eyes. “Calm down.”

“It’s hot. How do I calm.” I said sternly, eyes not leaving my best friend’s. I expected Jongup to take it literally and he really did.

“I… I’ll tell them to turn up the air con… To… make it cooler.” Jongup stuttered and headed out. Silly boy.

“I take back what I’ve said.” Youngjae apologised as soon as Jongup left the room. I almost laughed at his abruptness. “Yah don’t laugh!”

“Well I take back my words too. But seriously, you’re planning on… leaving?” I stuffed food into my mouth and questioned.

“Yeah. In two weeks.”

“To where?” Youngjae half-stood up and leaned across the table to face me.

“Secret.” He whispered and I successfully stopped myself from spitting on him.

Sorry again.
But well, guess where Youngjae's going c: