It Will Always Be Her

Jongin laughed and pushed Kyungsoo. “Hyung, that joke was horrible!”

“You laughed, didn't you?”

“I laughed cause it was so bad.”

“Yeah. Keep lying to yourself. I'm funny and you know it.”

Jongin shook his head and continued to window shop. They always went to the mall on Saturdays. Jongin, so he can get out of the house and Kyungsoo because apparently, 'all the hott girls come to the mall on Saturdays'. Which was absurd because whenever they went to the mall, Kyungsoo was always too busy shopping then doing anything else.

Kyungsoo stopped in front of a showcase window.

“Whenever I get a girlfriend, I'm gonna buy her that.” he pointed to a sterling silver music note necklace.

“Why?”

“Because I like it. So if she doesn't want it, I can keep it.”

Jongin laughed. “Who would want to date you anyways?”

“Hey. I can get a girl if I tried.”

“No you can't.” Jongin sipped on his bubble tea.

“Oh yeah, Mr. Popular? You think you can?”

“I didn't say that. But I could make anyone fall for me.”

“I beg to differ.”

Jongin burped.

Kyungsoo crinkled his nose. “I rest my case.”

On Monday, Jongin took a seat at the usual spot in the cafeteria. Ever since freshmen year, him and Kyungsoo have sat in the same table. The table where they met, the table where they grew not only as people, but friends too. Everyday Jongin would get there first. Since Kyungsoo's classroom was the last class down the hall, he always joined him a minute later. He'd set his lunch down in front of Jongin, they'd complain about gym, history and literature before talking about what they should do over the weekend, which was normally always the same thing. (Mall, video games, pizza) But today, it was a little different.

Kyungsoo set his tray down. That was normal. But when another tray was set down beside Kyungsoo's, that made Jongin look up from his bland soup.

“Jongin-ah. This is Sunye. I met her in the lunch line. She's new and she said she's in your class.”

Jongin smiled in recognition. “Hey.”

She was a pretty cute girl. Long hair. Double eyelids. Petite.

“You don't mind if I sit with you guys right?” she asked.

Jongin shook his head. “No it's fine.”

“See? I told you Jongin would be okay with it. He's not so scary when you get to know him.” Kyungsoo smiled. “But you're not the first person to say he looks intimidating.”

Sunye nodded and smiled at Jongin.

Ever since that day, Jongin/Kyungsoo had turned into Jongin/Kyungsoo/Sunye. They did everything together. Sooner than later, feelings developed amongst trio. And it only went downhill from there.

The three were hanging out at the mall like they always do on Saturday afternoons.

“I'm kinda hungry...” Sunye frowned and rubbed her stomach.

Jongin nodded. “Me too. Wanna get some burgers? My treat.”

Sunye's face brightened. “Really? Yeah! Thanks Jongin.” She hugged his arm.

“Not if I buy it first!” Kyungsoo exclaimed and took her hand to pry her off of Jongin. The younger frowned at this, lazily following them to the nearest burger joint.

Ever since that day, Jongin had noticed Kyungsoo and Sunye getting closer and closer and needless to say, it bothered the hell out of him. He needed to step up his game and to win what was rightfully his.

"Hyung, I see you flirting with Sunye. I don't approve," Jongin said one day.

"What? I'm not flirting. If you like her, have her. I don't like her."

"Sure...I'll be watching you..."

"You're such a creep."

They laughed and Jongin knew he had nothing to worry about.

Whenever Jongin saw Sunye together with Kyungsoo, he immediately stepped in to break it up. He wouldn't let anyone take the one he loves right from under him like that.

If the two were buying matching shirts together at a shop. Jongin made sure to buy the third color.

If the two were making plans for a movie date. Jongin made sure he was invited.

This was when Kyungsoo started to take matters into his own hands.

“Jongin-ah..” Kyungsoo spoke up when they were walking home from school.

“What is it, hyung?”

“Do you like Sunye?”

Jongin looked up at him in surprise. “I-I...But you said that one time you don't like her.”

“I know. But over the weeks, I started to grow feelings. I like her. Okay? I'm gonna court her.”

Jongin's ears turned red in anger. He had no words to say. And Kyungsoo knew that expression. They'd been friends for too long.

“Don't be mad Jongin. I think she likes me too. If you want to date her too, then we can't be friends.” He walked off.

Jongin shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe this was happening. Not only was his love life in jeopardy, but so was his friendship. And he wasn't ready to throw all those years of companionship away so he it up and ignored the feelings.

Well, he tried.

The day his world came tumbling down was the day when him and Sunye was talking in class as usual. Jongin made the mistake by asking her about the ring on her finger.

She pursed her lips. “Kyungsoo didn't want me to tell you yet, cause he wanted to tell you himself. But we're going steady now.”

Jongin frowned. “What? You and Kyungsoo hyung are going steady?”

She smiled and nodded. “But don't tell him I told you okay? Act surprised!”

“Wow. Congratulations.” Jongin got up abruptly and left the room. He felt betrayed, decieved, broken.

“Jongin! Jongin-ah!” Sunye yelled after him. "Oh no..."

Jongin turned the corner and met face to face with the devil himself.

“Jongin-ah! I've been meaning to talk to you. I have awesome news.”

“I don't care.” He bumped shoulders with him and disappeared into the bathroom. He locked himself behind a stall and cried. So much for ignoring the feelings. He just wanted to turn back time to the day where they met Sunye. He shouldn't have let her get so close with them.

At least he still had friendship.

Whenever they did flirty gestures, Jongin ignored it.

Whenever they held hands, Jongin frowned and pretended to ignored it.

Whenever they smiled at each other, Jongin would get sick to his stomach.

Whenever they kissed, Jongin had never wished he could trade places with someone so much in his whole life.

It wasn't Jongin/Kyungsoo/Sunye anymore. It was Kyungsoo/Sunye featuring Jongin.

And Jongin declared that one-sided love was the most aching, painful, heart-wrenching feeling in the world. And Jongin's broken his leg before. But as he watched the two lovers dance together at the senior prom, he would rather choose the broken leg. It was less pain to bear.

No matter how hard he tried, things couldn't go back to how they were.

“Hyung, wanna see a movie?”

“I can't. I'm taking Sunye out to dinner to celebrate her acceptance into Seoul University.”

But Jongin got accepted too.

“Hyung, wanna chill at my place? Video games and pizza?”

“I can't. Sunye wants to go see the fireworks at the Han River tonight.”

But Jongin liked fireworks too.

It seems that everywhere he looked, he was reminded that the one he loved, loved someone else.

Jongin started to distance himself from the two, making sure to be subtle about it. It's not like they'd notice anyways. They were too busy face to care. Jongin wished that he was stronger than this. Strong like how he looked. But in reality, he was still just a boy. A boy who was desperate for love, desperate for his best friend, desperate for everything to turn out alright. But it wasn't. So when Kyungsoo got a letter from Jongin, saying that he was going away forever, he quickly sped to Jongin's house, only to find his room empty and clothes gone. The only thing left in his room was a box on his desk. Kyungsoo walked over to it and picked it up. He slowly opened it and saw the sterling silver music note hanging from a chain. On the top, scribbled in Jongin's messy handwriting, was the words I love you, Hyung.

Kyungsoo beat himself up about everything and how stupid he was to not realize Jongin's feelings sooner. It all made sense to him. Why Jongin looked so pissed whenever he flirted with Sunye. Jongin wasn't jealous of Kyungsoo, no. He was jealous of Sunye. Kyungsoo tried his best to find Jongin, but Jongin's parents wouldn't tell him. They promised their son. Eventually he stopped looking. Jongin made it clear that he didn't want to be found.

Jongin was positive that he would never love again after Kyungsoo. Which was why he wanted to leave his past behind and start fresh. He wanted to prove himself wrong. He could love again, but he feared Kyungsoo had shaped his idea of love forever.

He thought about going back multiple times. But no matter what he did he knew for a fact that when it came down to it with Kyungsoo, it will always be her.

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inspired by K.Will's Please...Don't. Kaisoo is just <3

and it's short i know. that's how i wanted it to be. short but impactful.