Thunder sighed softly, looking over at Mir. The maknae hadn’t said much since returning from the S.M. dorm, but there had been no shortage of emotional responses from him. Every time his phone went off it was a text from one of the maknae’s he had hurt, or one of their band mates, each time telling him how awful he was for simply existing.

“Mir..” Thunder whispered, holding out a mug of bubble tea. Mir took it silently, and stared at it as though he were confused by its very existence. Thunder took a seat beside him, and Mir had a desperate look in his eye. Thunder wrapped an arm around him easily, and Mir stared at him with wide, leaky eyes. “Don’t stress yourself out so much. You’ll get sick.”

“I ruined Sehun’s life.” Mir said, and Thunder’s eyes widened.

“How so?” He asked, and Mir sniffed as he leaned against Thunder. He held the mug in his hands as though it were a precious gift from above.

“Taemin said-” Mir started, and Thunder looked a bit angry.

“Don’t listen to them.” He snapped, and Mir let out a small squeak of surprise. “You tell me, in your own words, how you ruined his life.”

“I...I...” Mir’s eyes were puddly. “He didn’t come out of it yet.”

“Does that mean he won’t?” Thunder asked. Mir bit his lip, then shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He mumbled, the tears spilling over. “What if he doesn’t?”

“Cheolyong.” Thunder snapped, and the maknae jumped. The elder reached over, taking the mug from him and setting it on the table. “Stop it. You’re going to make yourself sick. It hurts to see you this way.”

He easily tugged the maknae into his lap, his arms going tightly around him. Mir easily took comfort in the embrace, but a moment later his phone started vibrating again. He reached for it automatically, and Thunder had to hold himself back from taking the phone away. He had to remind himself that Mir was indeed old enough to make these decisions on his own.

“Sehun...” Mir mumbled, and tears spilled down his cheeks even faster. Thunder took the phone instantly, fearing the worst, but Mir hadn’t even opened the text yet. The sender was the boy believed to be stuck in the grips of the terrifying drug.

“Should I open it?” Thunder asked softly, and slowly, Mir nodded.

They sat in silence as Thunder read the text once, twice, three times. It was the last thing he was expecting, but there was no doubt in his mind that it was something Mir had to see. He pushed the phone back into the younger boys hand silently, and he watched Mir’s reaction with patience he had been lacking, and when the boy finally turned to him he looked to be in a state of disbelief.

“He’s not mad.” He whispered. “And he’s ok.”

“I know.” Thunder said, and Mir wiggled slightly before hiding his face in the elder’s neck. “Mir?”

“I can’t go there.” He said, shaking his head. “Just because Sehun isn’t mad doesn’t mean the others are going to be ok with me there.”

“Then you need to tell him that.” Thunder said, gesturing toward the phone the maknae still held in his hand. Mir pushed the phone into his lover’s hand, and the elder rolled his eyes before doing what he always did - taking care of Mir. “What would you do if I wasn’t here to help you clean up your messes?”

“I would be dead.” Mir said, no trace of playing absentmindedness audible in his voice. In fact, he seemed uncharacteristically serious. Thunder turned to him, his eyes wide as a heavy feeling settled in his gut. Dead? Mir? How could he even say that?

“Don’t make those kinds of jokes.” Thunder scolded him softly, feeling sick to his stomach.

“I’m not joking around though.” Mir insisted, and Thunder felt his heart clench. He pulled the maknae further up onto the bed and wrapped his arms around him before laying back, making sure the younger stayed right there with him.

“Let’s go to sleep.” Thunder said softly, trying to distract his brain from the thoughts in his head. He couldn’t live without Mir, and the way the boy spoke of his death so easily threw the elder into an impressive emotional spiral that he didn’t even want to deal with. Mir nodded, snuggling down into the elder’s embrace.

“Sanghyun..” Mir whispered, and Thunder looked surprised at the use of his given name. “Can I....can I ask you for something?”

“What do you want?” He asked, petting the youngers hair. He seemed to have lost the heavy seriousness from his statement only minutes before, and instead was back to his slightly blank and sad expression. Mir moved his head in a little closer, and soon enough their lips were barely an inch apart.

“Will you still kiss me?” Mir whispered, sadness radiating from the depths of his eyes. Thunder felt the others breath puff against his lips, and he didn’t have the frame of mind to verbally respond before their lips were crashing together.

Both sets of eyes slid shut as the young men absorbed the feeling of one another being so close, each taking comfort in the simple fact that the other was there. With hectic schedules and the need to keep personal things a secret from the media, it had been much longer than they liked since they had last enjoyed each others company in any way that wasn’t strictly platonic.

Mir’s fingers gripped the front of Thunder’s shirt, knowing that the elder would take care of him, protect him, and hopefully, continue to love him through all of his mistakes. Thunder’s arms tightened around the maknae’s waist, pulling him closer as though he were afraid to let go.

He would never admit that he was.

------------------------------------

Cheondoong felt his eyes sliding open before he was aware of the act. He reached out sleepily, not fully aware of why he was waking up until he realized the space beside him was empty. He put his hand down, anticipating the feeling of warmth left behind by his boyfriend, but when he was met with cool sheets he quickly realized Mir hadn’t just gone to the bathroom.

He sat up, looking around for any sign of the maknae, but he only spotted the others phone on the table. He pushed himself up and off of the bed, looking around in obvious confusion before heading out of the bedroom. Within ten minutes he was forced to admit that Mir wasn’t in the dorm - but...where was he?