Here he goes again. Crying upstairs in his room. What does he see in her anyway? She's just another famous actress. There’s nothing special about her.

"Jonghyun?" I called out, knocking on his bedroom door. "Do you wanna talk?" I heard the crying stop from the inside the room. His footsteps were getting closer. He opened the door looking like a mess. 

His eyes were red. His hair was everywhere. He didn't even bother wiping off the snot coming out his nose. I looked at him then immediately walked away to get him something.

"Yah! Key, where are you going?" He called out to me, resembling a lost child. I came back a minute later with a tissue box in one hand. 

I walked inside his room, sat him down on his bed, and hugged him. "Tell me what happened Jonghyun-hyung." I told him, giving him tissue. 

He started to cry harder. "She... she..." He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. "She rejected me." My heart sank. All this crying because that 'Se Kyung' chick said no to him? Is she really that special to you? What about me? Am I not special enough for you? Am I supposed to change? I'd do anything.

I rubbed Jonghyun's back, heartbroken. "If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. I've always been here." I got up from the bed and stood in front of him, opening up my arms. "Do you need a hug?"

He smiled slightly and got up, hugging me tightly. "I love her..." He whispered. My eyes widened. You...love her? 

I pulled away from the hug, shock visible on my face. "You love her?" I asked him. 

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter anyway because we'll never happen!" He screamed, not at me, but mostly at himself.

It hurt me to see him like this. “Hey now, don’t beat yourself up. It’s not your fault.” I noticed Jonghyun finally stopped crying.  He looked up at me, nervously.

“Key… can you do me a favor?” He asked.

“Yeah, sure. Anything.”

“Will… will you pretend to be my boyfriend? Just to get Shin Se Kyung back?” He looked down, scared of my answer.

My heart started to beat fast. I started to tear up. He just wanted me to be his boyfriend to make Se Kyung jealous. I didn’t want to agree to this, but it’s the closest I will ever get to being his real boyfriend. “Okay..” I whispered, barely audible.

“Really?” His face lightened up as I nodded. “Let’s go then!” It hurt. It hurt how he was so committed to Shin Se Kyung that he would make up a terrible plan just to get her back. I’m being used and he thinks it doesn’t hurt me… but it does. A lot.

I started to tear up, but quickly wiped the tears that were threatening to fall. “Where are we going?” I said, sniffing.

“Are…are you crying?” He asked walking over to me.

I shook my head side to side. “No, I’m just sick.” Part of me wanted him to believe me, but the other part wanted him to deny it and ask me what was wrong. That won’t happen. He’s too focused on getting his precious Shin Se Kyung back.

As I expected, he just nodded. “Psst, over there.” He told me. “She’s over there.” I looked over to where he was pointing and saw her with another guy. I’m guessing Jonghyun saw him too because he suddenly tensed.

“Jonghyun?” I said, poking him. “You okay?” He didn’t answer me. He just walked off in the other direction. Not knowing what else to do, I followed him all the way back to our dorm.

Right when he walked in, the door was slammed in my face. “Yah! I was right behind you!” I yelled, clearly annoyed with his attitude. I opened the door and saw him in the corner, knees against his chest, crying his heart out. I immediately regretted the way I acted a couple seconds ago. I walked over to Jonghyun. “Hyung, are you okay? You can talk to me.” I said, patting his back.

This image… it made me want to cry. Seeing him cry this much because of some girl just hurt me. Just as I stood up to get him a glass of water, he pulled me back down. “Don’t leave me…” He whispered inside my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

“O-okay.” I whispered, stuttering. “Let me get a tissue first.” I walked to the kitchen and came back with a box of tissues. “Here.” I said, handing them to him.

I grabbed a tissue and bent down so I could get a good look at his face. I suddenly caught myself staring into his eyes, but it wasn’t so bad – he was staring into mine as well. I quickly looked away and wiped away his tears. “Shh, stop crying.” I said, smiling at him.

I put down the tissues next to me and after that… all we did was gaze at each other. I was still knelt in front of him but I was shaking. I was nervous. I was never this close to him before. I was staring into his eyes and he was staring into mine. It wasn’t until long when I felt myself closing the space between us. One hand was on his neck, pulling him towards me, the other was on his waist, keeping me balanced.

Before I knew it, my lips were on his. What am I doing? I thought to myself. I wanted to pull away. What if this ruins our friendship? I slowly pulled away as tears fell. “I’m so sorry…” I told him. “I never meant to...” I didn’t get to finish my sentence. I just got up and ran. I ran outside. I ran in the rain. I wasn’t even outside for 5 minutes and I was already drenched.

I didn’t know where I was going. I just kept running. I ran until I couldn’t breathe. I ran until I felt like my legs were going to fall off. I ran until I spotted the park just across the street.

I walked over there, not caring about what’s going on around me. I walked to the bench and sat. I sat and thought about Jonghyun. He must hate me right now. Damn it! Why did I have to kiss him?! I cursed myself. I stayed at the park for another half hour, crying. I may be overreacting but that’s only because I’m afraid it ruined our friendship.

I pulled my knees to my chest and dropped my head. I closed my eyes as I listened to the sound of rain landing on the thick concrete. It was peaceful. Although I dislike the idea of being in the rain and getting drenched, the sound of rain soothes me.

I don’t like crying and I don’t like the rain… but I like crying in the rain. Why? Because no one can tell I’m crying.