"REALLY?! YOU'RE GOING TO CONFESS TODAY?!" Youngmin said over the phone.

"Yeah, this is the only time I can do it. Hopefully, he'll say yes." I tell her.

"Fighting! I wish you luck! I hope you two get together, you guys looked so cute together!" She squeals.

"Miyoungie, Jinki is here!" Umma yells.

"Yougminnie, I have to go. I'll call you later. Bye." I tell her.

"Bye." She replies, and I hang up.

Jinki opens the door right after I hang up.

"Ready to go?" He asks.

I nod, and we head out.

We watch all of the artists performing including SHINee, SNSD, Super Junior, 2NE1 and Big Bang.

After the concert was over, we walked to the park and I looked down at my feet.

This is it.

You can't back out anymore.

"Jinki...I have something to tell you." I say, and he looks at me.

"What is it?" He asks.

I look at his face.

If only I was his

I would be so happy.

"Jinki...I really like you....no love you, since at least 7th grade! You were so kind to me and there's so many things that I love about you, so much I'm going crazy! Jinki, I really love you...though I know this will take a toll on our friendship." I say, and he looks away.

"I can't accept it. I hurt you too much with this." He says, and I look at him.

"How the hell have you hurt me?" I asked him.

"I made you go through this pain for too long. I love you too, but I hurt you all this time. I'm not good enough for you." He replies, with a bitter smile on his face.

"THEN WHAT THE HELL IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME BASTARD?! WHAT IS?!" I yell, and I slap him.

"Definetly not me then. Do you expect me to be your boyfriend when I had made you suffer for that long? Don't think I didn't know all this time. I knew you would cry and be embarrassed, you would get frustrated and try your best. You would be disapointed at me. How could I possibly not notice all of these years." He muttered.

"But despite that, I still love you. You didn't hurt me like Donghae did. I love you unlike him, Jinki, Why don't you understand?" I asked him.

"I do, but someone else is better for you than me. I'm afraid there's someone else that would treat you better than me. I'm obsessed with you Miyoung I love you more than you could ever know...I think I'm so in love with you to the point that I'm obsessed with you, but in the end...I need to let you go. I'm sorry." He says.

I stop talking and I let him lead me home.

"Miyoung, why do you look like you cried?" Appa asked me as soon as Jinki left.

"Nothing. I hid my head hard against a wall." I replied and I ran to my room.

I dialled Youngmin's number and she picked up quickly.

"So, What happened?" She asked me.

"He rejected me Youngmin, he rejected me. He said he loves me but there was someone out there better than him." I replied, starting to cry.

"There, there. It's alright. If you want, you can cry to me on the phone or I can come over. I'm just across the street." She says.

"Come here." I say, and she hangs up.

A few minutes later she comes inside my room and she hugs me tightly.

"It'll be okay Miyoung, I promise. Just believe in me, It'll be fine." Youngmin reassured me.

But inside, I knew it was only going downhill.

I'm so stupid.

I did it again.

I hurt myself.

I'm such an idiot.

But I need to move on like last time.

I need to get over it.

But why is it so hard?

I look at my picture of me and Jinki on my desk, and I face it down.

I don't want to see his face in my room.

"Youngmin, Can you buy me dark red hair dye?" I ask her, giving her enough money to buy it with.

"Why, what are you gonna do with it?" She asks.

"Dye my hair."

"But Miyoung, I thought you said you were never going to-"

"I want to now. Please?" I ask.

She nods and heads out.

I take off that necklace that he got me and I threw it in my jewelry box.

I don't need to wear this either.

At least not for a long time.

After Youngmin leaes to buy me hair dye, I take out a peice of paper and I write down song lyrics.

When I skim my work and I found it good enough, I named it 'You & I'. 

Since a plan had formed in my head, I translated it to english and I wrote the english lyrics on a seprate peice of paper.

I smiled approvingly at my work.

Then Youngmin came back with the hairdye and I followed the instructions.

While I was looking at my natural black hair fade away and turn into velvet red, I shed a few tears leaving behind the old times.

Goodbye to the old Kwon Miyoung.

New Miyoung has red hair now.

And I'm planning to keep it that way for a long time.

After I washed off the dye, I looked at myself in the mirror.

I don't see the old Miyoung that had feelings for Lee Jinki, But though the look has changed, The feelings still linger.

I can still feel the pain inside of me though I had thrown everything physical behind me.

Youngmin looks at my lyrics.

"What are you planning to do with these lyrics?" She asks,

"It looks like you worked really hard on the lyrics and the translation." 

"I'm planning to come when he's asleep and leave it there for him." I replied.

She nodded approvingly.

Her phone dinged and she read it.

"Sorry Miyoung, I have to go. Fighting!" She said and ran out.

I sat down and I wrote a note for him at the bottom of the page for the english lyrics.

I put it in an envelope and sealed it with a red heart sticker.

Soon, I get four texts all coming from Minho, Jonghyun, Kibum and Taemin.

They all had the same message.

'Are You Okay?' I could hear their voices say in my head.

I replied back to each of them saying 'I'm fine.'

Though I'm telling them I'm alright, It's the biggest lie I have ever told them.

The fact is, I'm not alright.

I'm terrible.

At dinner my parents commented how beautiful and mature I looked with red hair, and I put up a fake smile telling them how much I appreciated their comments.

Though after dinner, I whisked the cookies and cream ice cream with me and I ate the whole tub of it as I cried while watching The Vow.

I looked pitable at that moment.

I wished love was as easy like in romance films.

After the movie had ended, I was left with an empty tub of ice cream and a broken heart.

I cried once again because it still hurt so bad.

I ended up falling asleep easily from all the crying I had done today.

I woke up at a decent time and I wore a loose hoodie and skinny jeans and boots and with the envelope, I headed over to Jinki's house.

He's always asleep until at least lunch time when there's no school so I know for sure he isn't going to be up right now.

I knocked on the door and his umma answered.

"Oh, Miyoung. What a great surprise! You look so pretty and mature with that red hair! Why are you here so early?" She asks me.

"Well, I just wanted to give Jinki something. It's alright even if he's asleep." 

"Okay then." She lets me in and I climb upstairs to his room.

I look at his sleeping figure on his bed.

His face looks so peaceful.

He must be dreaming about chicken.

I giggled quietly at that thought.

I looked at my envelope that was tightly held by my hand.

I put it beside his head, and I smiled.

It's too bad I'm not going to be kissing him again.

I got an idea.

He doesn't wake up easily, so I'll kiss him one last time.

I swept away his bangs and I kissed him on the lips.

I quickly pull away and I kiss his forehead as well.

"Saranghaeyo Jinki, Goodbye." I say as I quickly run out of his room.

"Uhhh...Can you please not tell Jinki that I left the thing, that I visited and I dyed my hair? Please?" I plead to his umma.

She nods.

"I won't. Your secret is safe with me. Have a good few days until school." She says smiling, and I smile back and wave and exit his house.

Dear Notebook,

If anyone would be reading this right now;

I refuse to cry.

But I can't hold it in any longer.

So I'll let it all out.

Goodbye Lee Jinki.

ONEW IS THE MYSTERY GUY. I REPEAT, ONEW IS THE MYSTERY GUY. AND HE BROKE HER HEART. WAHHHH IM SO SAD EVEN THO IT'S ME WHO MADE ALL OF THE CRAP HAPPEN. TT^TT Anyways, this drama is gonna continue for a while so i suggest you shouldn't keep your hopes up for another OnYoung moment so soon.(Yes, that's the couple name. Such a fail, right?) Well even though I basically broke them up, I hope you still enjoyed reading. I edited it from it original version cause some of it got deleted and this version is nicer anyways. Okay, I'll update again tomorrow. Bye guys^^