The ill-fitting love between them grew like the stubborn flowers that sprung up through the concrete on the sidewalk, only more ugly and twisted.

They deceived each other, each in their own way and both of them denied themselves. They entertained the thought that their relationship would end soon after each meeting.

They deceived themselves, thinking that their feelings were limited to only those of physical desire when they spent every waking moment thinking of the other.

One denial followed by yet another.

 The war of strategy had begun – to prove who had fallen first in their relationship. 

GD spent time and money to give Seungri lots of attention barely noticing as his phone bills went over the monthly plan and his bank balance neared zero. He only carried on, wanting not only to tame Seungri but obsessing over him and expecting him to be his.

Meanwhile inside the narrow room, GD stared fixedly at the screen, neglecting his own promise to not record their activities in his house. He can hear Seungri's voice very clearly in the video and even just at that he feels himself stiffening his pants. This happened to him quite often when Seungri was unable to come to his house. Sometimes, almost every time, GD can’t withstand the pressure of the long parting where he was unable to smell Seungri’s unique unidentifiable scent, he longed for that lingering perfume after he had left and so much more at the same time. He found himself taking matters into his own hands more and more often, becoming strangely more aggressive than usual when it should be no exception as he had done the same thing yesterday. 

GD lets out his last sighs of pleasure in front of the screen. Seungri’s face in the monitor makes him more aware of his denial that he made in order to deviate from reality. I love him... 

Does he love me too? 

------- 

Seungri wonders over the exact reasons for the end this relationship with GD when his birthday comes. He needs good reason so GD can understand and receive his decision but it seemed he couldn’t find any proper precise reason.  

Seungri had filled all the pages of his journal with GD. 

The photos had been plastered onto the countless journal pages making the book thick and heavy. Seungri thought he had really made GD the next victim of his collection. He stopped looking for the next victim after he was sure that he would not have special feelings for GD. Deep down, Seungri hoped he wouldn’t need to celebrate his birthday this year. Can I really say goodbye to him like the others? He doubted himself.

His train of thought was derailed when he heard the doorbell ring. He immediately closed his secret room as an automatic action and walked toward the door of his house. He felt hot already as his body remembered, almost against his will, the feelings of pleasure. He had thought nobody would come… and uninvited … surely it was GD behind the door.

Sometimes the game can be reversed and it occurs quite frequently between them when Seungri was reluctant to visit GD, Seungri is not shocked at all.

Seungri opened the door quickly without looking letting out a long breath.  

"I told you I'm busy.” 

"Seungri, you have to go see GD now." A woman that he remembers clearly, is standing and crying in front of him, body trembling. Suddenly Seungri feels stunned when the woman mentions GD name right after their eyes met. 

"What’s wrong with GD? Is he in trouble?" Seungri ignored all the rules that he had made for himself – namely, not to panic in an emergency situation when related with the one you dating. 

"GD... GD..." Soo Mi started crying and fell limp in front of Seungri.

Seungri does not really care about Soo Mi, he did not even invite her to enter his house, even though she had been soaked by the rain. Rather, he immediately slipped his hand into his pocket and called GD’s phone to hear only the sound of an inactive line as his dial tone ended.

"God dammit, ... What’s happening exactly? Why isn’t GD picking up my phone call?" Seungri's voice was so loud as he lost his temper, Soo Mi flinched at the sound.

"Hospital. He is in the hospital. I'm here…” Soo Mi looked at Seungri with her reddened eyes. “Because I heard him calling out your name as he was entering the emergency room."

"GD  what?” Seungri stops mid-flow, looking as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had met GD. He had met him just yesterday and the last time, he was fine. He was better than fine…  

"Just go and see him before it 's too late, I’m telling you because GD is my best friend. They will explain everything after you go there." Soo Mi clutched her hands to Seungri looking at him with piercing eyes and Seungri wondered how much she really kn