[unedited]

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I had finally found the canteen after minutes of wandering around the campus. I quietly slipped into the queue and grabbed myself a wholemeal croissant. I had just finished paying the lunch lady when I heard my name being called. I turned to look for the offender, only to find a sheepishly smiling Siwon. I face-palmed in embarrassment.

“Hana! Over here!” He called out once more. I apologized to the people around me as I wove through the tables to reach him. As I came closer, I noticed that he wasn’t alone. Of course he’d already made friends. He was Siwon after all. I rolled my eyes at him, though I smiled at his companions.

“Um hi…” I counted the heads. Three males, one female and Siwon.

“Hana, come, sit.” Siwon patted his lap, his friends watched expectantly.

“A-actually, I was just about to leave… to explore… a little…” I pointed awkwardly at the door. He pouted and his friends just observed the two of us, slightly disgusted I’d imagine. I waited, rather impatiently, for him to let me leave. He sighed.

“Fine.”

“Kay, see you at the ga-“

“Hold it! You haven’t even let me introduce me to my friends.” Siwon stood up and crossed his arms in mock disappointment.

“Oh.” I halted abruptly.

“He’s told us a lot about you, Hana. I’m Kyuhyun.” One of the guys said. He appeared rather… mischievous.

“I’m Eunhyuk” Another one spoke up. He shot me a toothy grin.

“Sooyoung here.” The girl gave me a subtle two-finger salute.

“I’m Donghae.” The last guy shyly introduced himself.

“I’m Siwon’s sister, Hana…”

“Oh. We know.” Kyuhyun smirked. I glared at my brother. He smiled guiltily and tugged at his collar uncomfortably.

“Well, it was nice meeting you and all but I uh,” I started.

“We know; you got to go. Pleasure meeting you Hana.” Sooyoung grinned. My god. She was gorgeous. Her silky hair was the colour of dark chocolate, parted in the middle. It cascaded down her back in beautiful waves. Her eyes were warm and brown, and her skin was practically flawless. She looked picture perfect even when in the dodgy blue uniforms. I shifted self-consciously in my ballet flats next to her and tugged on the hem of my skirt uncomfortably.

“Yeah, bye…” I smiled slightly and rushed out the door. I sighed in relief as I made my way up the steps to who knows where. I was never great at meeting people or ‘blending in’. Unlike Siwon, who was this audacious social butterfly, I was somewhat out of place, this small awkward turtle. Speaking of small, it seemed Siwon received not only the courageous genes from our parents but the growth genes as well. He, luckily, stood at six foot, whereas I stood at a mere 5’4”.

I was bored and needed an escape from the irritating specimen known as people. I came across a door, which read ‘fire escape’. Perfect.

The staircase seemed never-ending. I was already at the fourth flight up. Thankfully, I only had one more flight to climb till I reached the top. I clumsily fumbled around the shiny handle before pushing the door open. I smiled at my discovery: A rooftop terrace.

The terrace was just… awesome. It wasn’t some wonderland with the most amazing view of the city, or this hidden woodland filled with magical elves and Aslan. It was just a grassy terrace, that overlooked the school quad and had several potted plants here and there. Though there was a relatively bushy oak tree at the back corner. The weather was lovely. It wasn’t too hot, and as I was fairly high up, there was a cool breeze blowing through my hair. Even though I hadn’t found some unknown paradise, I was glad because it was empty. Silent. Peaceful. There was a lone park bench under the big oak, which looked absolutely inviting. I dropped my bag and my lunch on the ground and lay down. I closed my eyes and slept for a good two hours (as I had a free last period). It was pure bliss.

I was awoken by the y voice of Adam Levine, blasting from my phone. I reluctantly sat up and yawned, still half-asleep. I retrieved my phone from my pocket and checked my dubious reflection in the screen before picking up, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

“Hello?” I groggily answered.

“Hana! Where are you?!” I heard someone screaming through the phone.

“W-who, who is this… why are you yelling at me?” I asked, rubbing my eyes, trying to wake myself up.

“Siwon, S-I-W-O-N.”

“Siwon… Siwon… Siwon…” I mumbled to myself, trying to recall the name. Oh .

“Yes, Siwon.” My brother sounded annoyed on the other end of the line.

“What’s the time?”

“It’s four o’clock.”

“You’re joking. School ends at twenty to three!”

“Exactly! I’ve been waiting for over an hour!”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so, so sorry, I’ll be right down.” I stumbled as I reached for my backpack, sprinted down the stairs and out the school. I ran to the gate and came to a stop when I met Siwon. I was sweating and crouching down, trying to catch my breath.

“I am so, so, so sorry. I was sleeping and lost track of time and I…” I tried to explain as quickly as possible. He reacted by letting out a low chuckle.

“What?” I tilted my head in confusion.

“Did you not bother to check the time after hanging up?” I shook my head in response. My brother smiled slyly and gestured for me to unlock my phone. I clicked on the stand-by button and watched the screen light up. I glanced at the time… it was only three. I glared at the idiot and slapped him across the arm before turning away with a sulky ‘hmph’ and stomping towards the car. I was wiped. First days were always tiring.

***

The rest of the week wasn’t much better. I was up to my neck in assignments, I hadn’t bothered socialising and I was starting to believe that some of the girls lived to watch me fail. For instance, Krystal and her little cronies would always coincidentally be there to snicker each time I tripped, faltered or dropped something. It was strenuous but I was getting used to it, I guess.

It was finally Friday. The weekend was near. I could hear my jumbo box of Cheerios and Barney Stinson beckoning me from my living room. One day left, five lessons to go and I was free. Free from the inner turmoil of making an effort, free from homework, free from snotty girls who couldn’t tell left from right. Life was good.

I took a quick peek at my phone and realised that I was late for tutor period. I rushed down the hallway and stupidly bumped into a rather well built guy, if I do say so myself. I looked up and studied his face for a few seconds. I could recognize those features from a mile away.

“J-Jong-In? Kim Jong-In?” I squinted my eyes up at the familiar face.

“You must be mistaken. My name is Kai.” He smirked and pushed right past me without a second glance.

I watched him retreat down the hall. The floppy brown hair, the bronze skin, the sharp jaw-line, and his stride – it all seemed so familiar. But those eyes, the pair of eyes on this boy were cold, so distant and so cold. The Jong-In I knew had warm brown eyes, like sweet, sweet chocolate. ‘Kai’ or whoever he thought he was, was just plain rude.

I made it to form period just in time. I slowed down as I entered the classroom and for the first time that week, all eyes weren’t on me. Thank God. I didn’t know why and I didn’t care why. I was just glad I wasn’t treated as some circus attraction anymore. Mr. Park began roll call as usual, and as usual I’d sit at the back, quietly minding my own business, waiting for the grass to grow. You know, whatever. But today was still different. The class, the girls especially, were excited and I don’t just mean the standard ‘oh my god, we have matching bracelets’ excitement. They were too excited. I wondered why, but not for long because the door callously flung open, and in waltzed ‘Kai’. He scanned over the back row and his eyes lingered on mine for a bit longer than a second.

“Nice of you to finally join us, Kai.” Huh, so his name really was Kai. I suppose the two just looked the same.

Not.

I know I’ve seen him somewhere, I don’t know where, and he might not be the Jong-In I remember, but I know I‘ve seen him somewhere. I could feel it. It wasn’t just some cliché tingling sensation at the tip of my toes; it was more like déjà vu. I know him, and he knows me. There was something off about the situation but I wasn’t going to bother myself with someone who I didn’t know at all. Someone I’d unintentionally bumped into. Someone I’d literally met for three seconds. It was ridiculous, but I couldn’t seem to shake him from my thoughts. And it wasn’t just because he was attractive; he was just far too familiar; far too unfamiliarly familiar.

“Sorry Mr. Park, I was sick.” Kai was blatantly lying and everyone was aware of it too. Mr. Park just rolled his eyes and instructed him to take his seat. Again he looked in my direction, at my seat. He strolled down the isle and took a sharp right when he reached my desk. He plopped himself down at the desk beside mine and fell asleep. Asleep. As soon as he announced his arrival at the school he fell asleep. Unbelievable. I examined him as he slept. It sounds creepy, I know, but I was just silently confirming to myself that he wasn’t Kim Jong-In. Plus; I wasn’t the only one watching. Everyone was, except for one boy at the back, at the far end of the room. He sported black spiked hair and wore a grey hoodie under his blazer. His build seemed slightly feminine but the trousers gave his gender away. It was mandatory for a female student to wear a skirt and vice versa; if he were female, his lower leg would be visible.

***

The rooftop was starting to become my own little haven. I figured it was abandoned, or forgotten, because no one had ever come up there. Or at least, I’d never seen anyone up there but myself. I’d started decorating the terrace, for instance, I’d brought in a few throw pillows and a comforter to make the bench a tad bit prettier and well… more comfortable. I’d even watered the plants a fair bit to keep them lush and coloured. The terrace was mine and I loved it. It was my escape from society; it was where I could gather my thoughts. I knew I being anti-social, I knew I hadn’t made any effort to be a part of this so-called ‘community’; but that’s just the way I wanted it to be. I wasn’t going to form relationships just to lose said relationships. I wasn’t going to open up to people just to have them abandon me. I definitely was not going to build that wall of trust just to have it demolished. No thank you. I wasn’t ready to lose anyone else just yet.

Siwon, as childish as he was, was enough for me. Of course I had my father, he was loving, caring. Everything a father should be I suppose. He gave me everything I’ve ever wanted; but he was too old to understand, too broken to even try. Siwon and I, we were only a year apart. He was eighteen and I was sixteen, going on seventeen. He understood me, most of the time. He protected me, or at least tried too. He was my best friend, or the closest thing I had to one. My mum, first and foremost, was my best friend, but that’s another story, for another day.

***

After what seemed like hours of protests, Siwon had finally convinced me to sit in the canteen and each lunch like a ‘regular student’ – his words exactly. He questioned me for days, interrogating me on my place of refuge but I gave no clues. Not one. He could figure it out himself, but obviously, being Siwon, he never would. He may have inherited the height and the athletic abilities but he hadn’t received much of a brain.

I found an empty table at the back of the canteen, out of sight and out of mind. Siwon begged for me to ‘get to know his friends’ and join them but, of course, I declined. As nice as they seemed, I wasn’t going to intrude. I adore Siwon, I really do, but his over-protective nature tends to over power all else, and I wasn’t ready to reveal that to the world just yet. As I began chewing on my croissant, I felt something, or rather someone, plonk down beside me. I was surprised, not pleasantly though not distastefully either. It was the boy from the earlier. The boy with the grey hoodie, you remember him right?

“Hey” He said.

“Hey” I said back. We ate in silence, it should’ve been awkward, but it wasn’t. He was different, so was I. He was normal, I was almost normal. We matched well. He was the first person who had come in such close proximity to me and I didn’t feel like… puking. Amazing. After about ten minutes of silence, he spoke up.

“Hi, I hope you didn’t mind me sitting down next to you, you just seemed the most sane out of all the people in this canteen.” He started.

“I’ll take that as a compliment… I guess?” You chewed your bottom lip in thought.

“I’m Amber. Amber Liu.” Amber… Amber?! So he was a girl? Huh. No wonder ‘he’ seemed so feminine.

“Nice to meet you, I suppose. I’m Hana. Choi Hana.” I stuck out my hand, and she shook it willingly.