44
My Strange Oppa
For the past few days, you had completely ignored your father. It hurt you see to his crestfallen face every time he called your name, only to have your back to him.
You were in your bedroom one Friday night, typing away your essay on your laptop when you heard an abrupt knock on your door.
“Can I come in?” You could hear your father’s low voice through the door.
You hesitantly shut the laptop off as you answered, “Yeah.”
Your father opened the door, his eyes not meeting yours. He gently shut your door and walked to your bed. He sat on the edge and finally looked up and met his eyes with yours.
Your heard tilted slightly in curiosity as one of your eyebrow arched up, waiting for him to speak.
“Did you think about it?” Your father asked. You could see in his eyes how much he wanted you to say yes.
“Yes, I have.” You pushed the laptop away and crossed your legs to face him. You tried to stay as calm as possible.
His face lit up as he stared at you. “That’s great! The flight—”
You put your finger up.
Your father stopped, a frown appearing on his young face.
“Just because I thought of it, doesn’t mean I say yes, I want to move to America.” You gave him an unpleasant as you crossed your arms. That really has become one of your bad habits when it came to annoying situations.
Your father stared at you. “When you were little, you always told me how much you’d love if it if you moved to America and here’s your chance, what are you afraid of losing?”
The air grew thick with tension as you and your father glared back at each other.
Your eyes were wide in disbelief. “That was when I was little.”
“So what changed your mind now?” Your father retorted.
Your lips pressed in a firm lip as you swallowed back your spit.
“Is it because of that one boy? Are you letting a mere boy ruin your future?” Your father spat at you.
You grew angry as you got off the bed and fumed angrily at your Dad. “You have no right to say what you just said.”
“What? I’m right aren’t I? You’re letting your future go to waste because—”
“SHIKORO!” You raised your voice at your Dad.
Your father’s eyes were wide as saucers as he stared back into your flaming, red eyes.
Your hands started to involuntarily shake from anger. Tears welled up in yours eyes but you fought them back. “Ever since you came back, you didn’t have the audacity to sit down and tell me exactly what happened to you. Now you’re going to talk about my future and tell me what will ruin me or not? Don’t make me laugh!”
Your father clenched his fist as he got up. He stared down at you. You were so tiny, and vulnerable. It hurt him to see you so upset with him. Your father let out a sight as guilt overwhelmed him.
“Do you want to know what happened?” Your father looked into your eyes. You grew wary when you saw the fear in his.
You calmed down slightly and finally whispered, “I just need you to tell me the truth.”
Your father sat you down as he grabbed the chair from your work area and sat in front of you.
He took your hands into his as he looked into your eyes.
“The truth is that your appa is an idiot. I am the most biggest idiot in the world and if your umma was still here, she’d hate me.” Your father looked at you guiltily.
“Why?” You croaked out.
“I… got fired from my factory since school started. I heard it’s really easy to win money at the casino and gambling… and I decided to try my luck.” Your father admitted.
Your eyes rounded by the second in disappointment.
“At first I was winning, and I was doing so well. Then all of a sudden, my luck dried out and I began losing. I bet everything and I ended up losing everything.” He released your hands as he put his face into his palms. He rubbed his face in frustration.
“Mwoh?” You said in disbelief. “How… how could you? You told me that you would never gamble…”
“I know… I know. And I stopped.” He gulped. “But then I borrowed money from the loan sharks, and I borrowed a lot.”
Your hands balled into tight fist. It was so tight that the bones in your knuckles could pop out of your skin. “Did you owe them back?”
Your father shook his head.
Frozen as an ice sculpture, you just looked at your father in horror with your mouth wide.
“I can’t… and this is why I need you to follow me to America. I need to know your safe and that no one can harm you.” Your father gnawed onto his lip in guilt. “Mianhae, mianhae, I know I can say this a thousand times and it would never mean enough.”
Tear drops fell from your face and it landed onto your fathers hands. Noticing the wetness, your father looked up and his heart wrenched to see you crying.
He lifted his hands to wipe it away but you pushed it away angrily.
“Appa!” You cried. “How could you?!”
“I know, I’m sorry! I’ll never do anything to stupid and dangerous again. I just need you to come with me, yeah? We’ll be safe in America.” He tried to give you a reassuring smile.
You shook your head as you wiped your tears. “It’s not fair that I have to pay for your mistakes, appa. As much as I love you, I could never forgive you for doing this.”
Your father lowered his head in guilt, speechless for the first time.
“I’m not going anywhere.” You said stubbornly.
His head snapped up. Eyes wide with shock. “~~~~~~! Please. There are cute boys in America too. Maybe even better than that—”
“Don’t compare Jinyoung oppa to anyone!” You spitefully yelled at him. “What I feel for Jinyoung is different than anyone so please don’t say that.”
“~~~~~…” Your father said softly. “You’re still young, you can love anyone as much as—”
You put your hands to your ear as you glared at your father. “I LOVE JINYOUNG AS MUCH AS YOU LOVED UMMA. DO NOT COMPARE THE DIFFERENCE!”
Your father staggered back a bit in his chair. At the mention of your mothers name, your father got up and sneered at you. “You’re going to compare my love with your mother to your childish teenage love?!”
You gaped at him. Seeing the hurt cross your face, your Dad knew he hit a sensitive nerve. His face fell.
It felt like everything was crashing down now. You just wanted to be alone.
“Leave,” you manage to croak out.
“Wait ~~~~~. I didn’t mean it like that.” Your Dad pleaded.
“LEAVE!” You yelled with your loudest voice. The anger bubbled and raged inside of you as the tears kept flowing out.
With heavy shoulders, your father left dejectedly. Once the door was shut, you lay back on your bed and began sobbing. *My heart hurts so much right now. Jinyoung oppa promised that things will be better, but things are only better when I’m with him….*
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